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Home » Crystal Paine » A personal update + a big thank you!

A personal update + a big thank you!

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He went back to his mama full-time last Monday.

We knew this day was coming (though we didn’t know it would be Monday). We’re so thrilled for how hard his mom worked to get to this place and we’re so grateful for how much she loves him.

At the same time, our hearts are all torn up inside. Yes, this is the ultimate goal. Yes, this is the best case scenario. Yes, we want to be so happy for him and his mom — and we are!

But there’s also a lot of loss and grief at our house right now. It feels so quiet. We see reminders of him everywhere we turn. The tears just fall at random times as we process him leaving. He’s been every bit like our own son for 8 1/2 months, so his absence leaves a huge hole in our home and hearts.

Sweet baby boy: We love you so much. You will always hold such a big piece of our hearts.

Getting to love you as our own on behalf of your mama has been one of the greatest honors of my life. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

You’ve brought so much laughter and smiles and joy into our home. You’re resilient and brave.

I believe God has such great big plans for you and your future. We will always be here cheering for you, praying for you, and loving you deeply. You helped our hearts be beautifully broken and we will never be the same because of loving you. You’ve forever changed our lives, little boy.

We love you, sweet Champ!

______

The two questions we’ve gotten the most the past few weeks are: Will you foster again and will you still get to have contact with Champ and his mom? 100% yes, we plan to foster again. We will take some time to process and grieve, but we are already praying about who God wants us to say yes to next. And yes, his mama has graciously expressed her desire for us to still be in his life. We don’t know what that looks like for sure, but this week we’ll be babysitting for him some while she works. I’m so grateful for this, both for his transition and for our transition.

Thank you for your prayers and the way you have cheered us on in this journey. It has meant so much. And thank you for praying for Champ and his mama — especially right now. We are deeply, humbly grateful.

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  1. Nancy says

    Wow! I was so touched by your podcast episode on this experience. Thanks for sharing. I was overcome with the illustration of love as you both talked about your grief. I was there with you when listening and could just feel it. Sounds like Jesse has experience with grief. Would love to hear more about that.

    • Crystal Paine says

      Thank you for your encouragement. And to answer your question about Jesse — he lost his mom when he a boy. He was really, really close with her and he was her only child.

  2. Sabrina says

    You will be beautifully entwined in each other’s story forever. Teary eyed at the beauty of this story. Praying that Champ’s mom continues to be victorious over the hard times. God Bless!

  3. Mary G says

    Thank you so much for sharing this story! It’s been a joy to be able to keep up to date on Champ’s progress. What a beautiful gift you and your family gave to him and his mother. I get teary eyed just thinking about him. That picture of hi msleeping on your husband’s chest is beautiful beyond words!

  4. Angie says

    You guys are AWESOME!! Been following you for a long time, since before your son was born. You have helped me so much, me being a stay at home Mom for much of the time. Isn’t it amazing to think of all the people you have helped and inspired? Blessings to you guys in this season and always as well as the people you continue to serve…prayers 🙂

  5. Julie says

    This is exactly how it’s supposed to go. 😍 You don’t know how much you mean to Champ and his mom for saying yes when she couldn’t. God’s love shines bright through you and your family! ❤️

  6. Anne Irvine says

    I am in awe at what you and your family has done. You are such blessings to not only Chanp and his mama but to all of us that want the best for all children. May God grant you peace in the upcoming weeks and months.

  7. Julie says

    Thank you for sharing this journey with us. Praying for your family and Champ. It encourages my soul seeing the blessings God has given you and your family as you said yes to His calling. ❤️

  9. Marie Fischer says

    I was blessed to be a foster Mom. I am blessed to be an adoptive Mom. Those losses are intense and life-altering. We are told that God makes beautiful things out of pain. I pray that He will for y’all.
    The choice to have contact with bio families is a tricky one. Stay prayerful. Please note Champ’s reactions. Try to let these reactions guide your path and interactions.

  10. Elle Rogers says

    My son just turned 10. The man who fostered him for three months when my son was just 9 months old remembers his birthday – every single year, without fail.
    Foster parents are blessings to the birth parents and the families of the birth parents.
    Ephesians 1 :5.

  11. Jenny says

    As a social worker and an advocate for children, I want to thank you for honestly sharing your experience- the joys and the heartache. I have been excited to watch your story knowing that you are likely planting seeds for other to consider fostering or to support foster families. What a victory for him to return to his mother but I understand the grief that your family experiences. Foster care is messy and hard but a blessing. Thank you for loving on these kids.

  12. Patti says

    Once again, more tears. Prayers for all of you…Chanp is so loved! You made such a difference in his life’s trajectory…beautiful writing on your heartbreak and joy.

  13. Doreen says

    As a foster mom, I know exactly that conflict of emotions you are facing. Praying for you and glad you want to do it again.

  16. JJ says

    This post is a beautiful picture of unconditional and selfless love. What a blessing that you get to babysit some!!! Grace for each moment!!! 💞 Praying for all of you!!!

  17. Gwen says

    Oh Crystal and Family,
    What a sweet blessing you have given Champ and his Mamma. I pray the transition goes as smoothly as possible for everyone involved. I also pray his Mamma has been reading your blog, to fully understand how incredibly blessed she and Champ are to have you in their lives.
    You are such an inspiration.
    I wonder if you could set up a way your readers could help with Champ’s medical issues or needs. I don’t have a lot (just losing my job) but I know I would be honored to help in a small way

  19. Margaret says

    My daughter fosters too and so we know exactly how y’all feel. Sending prayers for everyone!!