Whew! Last week felt like a emotional roller coaster and I struggled to focus or get things done (anyone else??). Not did we get back home from our trip to Gatlinburg on Monday night, so we kind of started the week “behind”, but then there was the election (we had a party with some of Kathrynne’s friends and stayed up WAY TOO LATE!), but also Champ had an important court date on Tuesday and there were a lot of emotions that came with that.
By Wednesday, I felt like I needed to sleep for 20 hours… but instead of sleeping, I kept obsessively checking news websites! I’m guessing some of you can relate! 🙂
By Thursday, I decided that I was going to declare the week a “throwaway week” — I know that flies in the face of what any productivity guru or intentional living expert would advise, but I’m just keeping it real. Some weeks, you hit a lot of home runs… other weeks, you just seem to not even be able to make one single swing!
But I did cross a few things off the list, we did get some clarity on Champ’s case and feel a real peace about how things are progressing there, and I’ve decided I need to mostly take a breather from watching/checking the news obsessively! So it’s a new week and I’m hopeful I’ll be able to have a bit more focus and motivation!
Here’s an update on my goals:
This Week’s Goals
Personal Goals
1. Get 48,000 steps in.
2. Read 5 chapters of Atomic Habits. Read 5 chapters of Forgiving What You Can’t Forget.
3. Listen to five hours of The Body Keeps the Score.
4. Do pelvic floor exercises at least four times.
Home/Family Goals
5. Read 10 pages of A Boy’s War as a family.
6. Read three chapters of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory to the babies and Silas.
Business Goals
7. Put together quiz for my new book.
8. Map out plans for book launch.
9. Put together two gift guides for Christmas.
Word of the Year Goals (my word is “savor”)
10. Watch an episode of The Amazing Race as a family.
This Week’s Goals
Personal Goals
1. Get 48,000 steps in.
2. Read 5 chapters of Atomic Habits. Read 5 chapters of Forgiving What You Can’t Forget.
3. Finish listening to The Body Keeps the Score.
4. Do pelvic floor exercises at least four times.
Home/Family Goals
5. Read 10 pages of A Boy’s War as a family.
6. Read three chapters of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory to the babies and Silas.
7. Work on photo book for Champ.
Business Goals
8. Map out dates and project timelines for my book launch.
9. Put together two gift guides for Christmas.
Word of the Year Goals (my word is “savor”)
10. Watch an episode of The Amazing Race as a family.
I posted this on Instagram last week and thought it might encourage some of you:
God doesn’t give you grace for the future. He gives you grace for today.
The first month after we brought Champ home from the NICU, I spent many hours in the middle of the night holding him, singing to him, praying for him, and shedding tears over the thought of eventually letting him go. I had only known him a few weeks and yet my mama bear heart was madly, deeply in love with him. The thought of saying goodbye to him and never seeing him again was so excruciatingly painful to even consider.
I remember thinking, “I don’t know how I could ever do that! It feels too hard!”
And yet, here we are, 7 months later and likely just days or weeks away from him going back to his mama. And I’m here to tell you that God has been so faithful.
Instead of dread and anguish, I actually feel so much hope, excitement, and joy — for him and his mama. She’s worked so hard to be able to get healthy enough to bring him back home. I can’t help but cheer for her. The delight he brings to her and the way I see him bonding with her… it moves me at a deep level.
Yes, there has been intense grief in our home over processing saying goodbye. And yet, like one of our kids said recently, “How could we selfishly want him to stay when he has a mama who cares for him and has worked so hard?”
There are definitely still many unknowns and what ifs. I could spend a lot of time and energy playing those out in my head. But, we trust that the God who loves this adorable boy even more than we do is going to watch over him in the future. And I rest in that.
7 months ago, the thought of being here was overwhelming. I didn’t know how I’d be able to walk it. But that’s because God wasn’t giving me grace for the future.
Instead of sitting in fear over the future, stressing over the unknowns of tomorrow, or wasting energy worrying about what ifs, I want to rest in the goodness and faithfulness of my Heavenly Father. He has been faithful and He will be faithful. And I can trust that whatever the future holds, He isn’t giving me the grace for it right now, but He will give me grace for it exactly when I need it.
Are you going to be able to keep in touch with Champ and his mama? I pray so! My parents fostered and did not stay in touch because they could not bear the thought of where the children might end up. But I think it would have been so good for them, and the children, to have them as a “second family.”
We’ve expressed our heart and absolute desire for that and it seems like that is a good possibility. Of course, that could always change, but that’s what we are hoping for!
I LOVE what you said about foster care and your experience with thinking about saying goodbye to Champ! As a foster parent myself, I get that comment a lot, “oh I couldn’t do foster care, I’d get too attached – it would be too hard!” and I just want to scream! It isn’t about YOU! There are SO many kids out there who are abused, neglected, etc and just need a safe, loving place to land. They are having to stay in hotel rooms with social workers because there aren’t enough homes. Yes, it’s incredibly hard, but you learn so much and gain so much in the process – and you get to make a (possibly) life-changing difference in the life of a kid who was in a hard place. Trust the Lord to provide you the strength to walk through it! Thank you for loving on Champ and helping to set up him and his mom up for the best chance at success down the road!
Thank you so much for your encouragement! Our hearts have been beautifully broken through this process and we will never be the same!
thank you for sharing this! It is SO encouraging to hear your experience when i look out at the future and can’t imagine what we will face or how we will get through it. SO TRUE–God’s grace will be there then. He is only giving us grace for today and we trust He will take care of us in the future.
YES!
What a neat insight into God’s granting you peace and strength to do what you hadn’t thought possible. I know it will still be hard. Thank you for loving this little boy (and his mom) for 7 whole months.
Thank you for your encouragement!
I love that you’re reading/ listening to The Body Keeps the Score. I’ll be interested to read your review of it, if you write one. If you’re looking for more trauma informed/ foster care books, I like The Whole Brain Child and Parenting the Hurt Child.
I LOVED The Whole Brain Child. In fact, I quote from it in my book that comes out in March!
Check put The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog by Bruce Perry. It is a collection of stories that may make you cry, but it also provides the foundation for a lot of work that has been done in understanding how trauma impacts brain development. Totally changed the way I understood my clients when I read it about 8-10 years ago.
Oh! I have that one on my shelf, too! I need to read it soon!
God bless you and your family for sharing your home.with this beautiful baby.
Bless you.
Thank you for being so genuinely transparent, its encouraging coming from one busy Mom/business woman to another!
Your daily goals written encourage me to do that as well and give good examples and show Self Care to be a priority! Thank you! God bless you!
Thank you for your encouragement!
Love following your blog! I wanted to say that if you guys like Amazing Race, I think you would enjoy Relative Race on the BYUTV app. If you have a smart tv, it’s a quick download. Relative Race is like Amazing Race only with a bigger purpose in mind other than money. There is a cash price but they reunite family members who were either adopted or separated from each other. Over the course of 10 days, they engage in challenges and each day meet a new family member. It’s fun and a tear jerker. As the seasons progress, you notice that the teams competing against each other actually bond and we find it very uplifting!!
Thanks so much for sharing!
I have been struggling with fear for the past few weeks. This post was an answer to my prayers. I still have tears rolling down my cheeks. Thank you for reminding me to have faith and trust in the moment.
I’m so grateful it encouraged you!
I second the recommendation for Relative Race! Such an amazing show!