Guest post from Reelika of Financially Wise On Heels
Having a good relationship and communication with your partner is the key for a good life. Unfortunately, statistics show that many people get divorced due to financial issues. One of the problems may be that one person is a spender and the other is a saver.
If you and your significant other are at odds when it comes to financial issues, these 5 tips can help you better understand each other — and learn to love the spender in your life!
1. Listen, Share, and Communicate
Spenders think differently about money, saving, and spending. They are more impulsive and don’t consider the differences between “wants” and “needs”.
However, before you speak, listen carefully to what the spender has to share. Don’t get emotional, but instead, share your thoughts and find the mutual language. Don’t brag about how much you always save and don’t be judgmental.
2. Understand the Spender’s Background and the “Why”
How did the spender grow up? What were their family’s saving and spending habits? What are the real “whys” he or she wants to spend so much?
Maybe it is a relief of stress, or finally having the opportunity to buy something? Spenders just love spending, no matter what the cost is. It can be frustrating, but always look for the real “why”.
3. Create a Family Budget Plan Together
Having a family budget plan is crucial… and having the main spender involved is even more important. Create a plan together and discuss any splurges with the purpose of finding a solution.
Create a separate section for “free spending,” so it becomes part of your budget plan already… and determine the amount that you are both able to spend without breaking your budget.
This relieves the stress for both of you as the spender can enjoy spending, and it is already part of your family’s expenses.
4. Have Regular Family Meetings
Regular family meetings to discuss family finances can be very helpful. Don’t only discuss spending, but also the possibilities for increasing the number of income streams.
Make sure you don’t have the meeting after stressful day at work. This is never a good idea. Rather pick a weekend when you are not tired or rushing anywhere. It is important to make it a regular habit, otherwise the results are often only short term.
5. Balance Spending with Frugal Hacks
Spending and shopping are not necessarily bad habits. However, spending should be balanced with frugal hacks and/or savings.
One way to do it is to create a separate cash cushion for emergencies that potentially come up due to spending habits. Additionally, you should also consider cutting back on other items so the spender won’t feel stressed about his or her spending.
Being responsible with finances is very important.
Following these five tips should help you find understanding and compromise with the spender in your life. Just remember to make plans and decisions together that are comfortable for BOTH of you.
How do you better understand spenders? Or if you are spender, how can others better understand you?
Reelika is an entrepreneur and the founder of Financially Wise On Heels. She is a happy wife and mom, Christian, financial management lover, and passionate about coaching. She provides inspiration, tools and resources to Moms to better plan, budget and manage their finances without sacrificing the needs and dreams of their families.
What a great post! Thank you! It doesn’t seem like many financial articles deal with the differences in marriage.
The “Laugh your way to a Better Marriage” course is valuable. Many spenders come from “Fun” country. They want to have fun, which can be difficult for us savers. Learning to enjoy and value each personality type is an important way to keep a marriage thriving.
Absolutely, it is a constant learning and journey!
This subject is near and dear to my heart. I have always considered myself to be the saver and my husband to be the spender. I would really stress over this topic, and still do from time to time. You see, I don’t have the type of husband (and you may not either) who will sit down with me and plan out a budget — even though I’ve sort of wished this in my head. “Only if he could be more like me.” I thought, selfishly. Over the years (and with the help of a very good book “Fascinating Womanhood”), I have realized that my husband actually has some very good financial traits that I was overlooking. Sure, he’s not going to go into the store with his (my?) coupon binder and bring his bill down by 75%. Sure, he’s not going to wait until that chicken goes on sale before he stocks up. As I learned to look at his good traits, I have come to find that he is actually a fantastic saver in the savings account area, always pays our bills on time, and makes sure that we have more than enough and is very generous to others. He has also grown a successful business — something that I don’t think I would be able to do… not even close. So, I guess my point is, that if you are a woman struggling to accept your husband’s spending habits, try for a moment to just see his good side and look for some good traits that you’ll probably find.
Kelly, thank you so much for the insight and sharing your thoughts. I just love how you pointed out that we, women, should try to see his good side and look for some good traits! This is so true and it can be truly helpful.