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5 Lessons I Learned After Quitting Facebook

quitting facebook

Guest post from Mary of Adventures In Frugal Land

Last month, I made the decision to say goodbye to my personal Facebook account. It was a decision that was in the back of my mind for a while. I took the plunge on May 6, 2015.

Since then, I’ve learned five important lessons.

1. I Don’t Have As Many Friends As I Thought

One my personal Facebook page, I had hundreds of “friends”. Once I said goodbye to my account, only a handful of them stayed in contact with me.

My birthday was less than two weeks after I made the decision to quit Facebook. In the previous years, most everyone on my friends list posted “happy birthday” to me.

Guess how many thought to call or text me? FIVE.

Most of them were family… which leads me to the next lesson.

2. I Don’t Care

Learning lesson one taught me lesson two. I don’t care about the lack of communication from my former Facebook “friends”.

The true friendships that I have are even more precious to me before. I value the few close friends I have more than I ever valued the fake ones I thought I had.

3. I Have More Free Time

I am amazed at how much time I really do have in a day. I knew I spent a good bit of time on Facebook, but I had no clue exactly how much.

I no longer feel the need to check my feed because I’m bored or out of habit. Instead, I use that time to do something productive or something I really enjoy.

4. I Am Happier

Let’s face it. Facebook is FULL of negativity… and I don’t want that in my life.

I am not the type of person who can just forget about something. So, when I would see a troubling post/picture, it would stay with me for days. I don’t want to focus on negativity in my life. I want to embrace the positive.

Since quitting Facebook, I am happier.

5. I Don’t Feel “Left Out”

I honestly thought that I would feel left out of the loop since quitting Facebook. I’ve found that I don’t. My friends and family inform me of any pertinent information I need to know.

Bonus Lesson #6: My Phone Battery Lasts Longer

It’s amazing how long a phone battery lasts when you are not constantly checking for updates and messages!

Mary is the mother of an energetic four year old daughter. She is passionate about bringing awareness to thyroid disease. You can find her blogging at Adventures In Frugal Land about thyroid disease, motherhood, frugal living and whatever else pops into her head!

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  • Lana says:

    I agree with all of these points but it is how I get to see pictures of my grandchildren so I will not be giving it up. I do just hide some from my feed when they constantly pick fights and post negative links.

    • D says:

      I quit fb and just email photos to grandparents. It wouldn’t be that hard for your family to email.

      • Guest says:

        It is if none of them are on email. 🙂 None of my grandparents are on email and neither of my husband’s parents are on email so email isn’t always an option.

        • grey says:

          Facebook requires an email address to create an account.

          • Guest says:

            True. I should have clarified. My parents show my grandparents photos on Facebook when they visit. Theoretically they could do the same with email but there are size limits on email where you can post a large amount of photos and videos on FB.

  • Charity says:

    I have a fake facebook acct for coupons. I know I miss out on some things because I’ve never taken the facebook plunge. Seems way to impersonal and time consuming to me.

    • joan says:

      Charity I have a fake FB account for coupons and freebies as well. I’ve tried to educate others to do the same but they don’t get it. If you click to download or print a coupon on FB and it says, ok but first let us have access to your friends list, and you say yes, then you are selling out all your friends’ data to be mined for future exploitation. I don’t do that to my ‘friends’ – the way I get around it is to have a fake FB account only for coupons with zero friends. Then, when the company says, give us access to your friends list I click Yes with a big grin bc I have no friends on that account to sell out.

    • Jenna says:

      I quit facebook a long time ago. I have never looked back. I have missed a few coupons but so What and I DON’T CARE IS truly how I feel too.

      I don’t care what other people think about me.
      I don’t care what other people have to say about me and I don’t care if they “like” it or not!

      I just want to live my life and be happy so I spend my time doing what makes me happy.

  • Adrienne says:

    I haven’t had Facebook in almost 5 years. There are a few mama groups I’d like to be a part of for personal enrichment and/or encouragement, but I don’t miss the rest of it.

    • Mary says:

      You can still have one for the group benefits but without the aggravation.

      That’s what I did. I still technically have the account active but without friends so I can still be a part of the groups I want and to run my blog’s FB page.

      • Crystal M. says:

        You should include that in the article, because that’s the situation many find themselves in, me included. Gave it up, but ended up missing countless opportunities for my kids. We homeschool, and so many of the organized groups solely use FB for communication and event sign up. There is just no way around it if I want us to participate.

        • Christy says:

          I agree. I gave it up for Lent and found myself having to log in every once in a while because that was the only way my son’s t-ball team communicated and how to collect donations for my other son’s school fundraiser. It was like, log in and only check this one thing and log out. I also use fb for a lot of yard sale sites and couponing sites and missed the money saving opportunities there! Maybe I need to just set up an account for these kinds of things!

      • D says:

        That’s what I did, too. My news feed just has the few pages I kept following and I only check every month because I’ve found myself not missing my groups as much as I thought I would.

        • Tracy says:

          What I’ve thought about doing is setting my phone to receive notifications ONLY when someone posts in the most important FB groups I’m in. That way, I can click the notification and go straight to the group instead of going to my newsfeed first. I don’t know how well it would work but it’s worth a try.

    • Laineykins says:

      Why not create a fake account and just join those groups? That way family doesn’t get hurt because you aren’t on their friends list

      • D says:

        A lot of groups wouldn’t accept a brand new account with no friends because it would look like spam. And I found family just accepted that I quit fb without worrying that I technically still have an account.

  • Lisa says:

    I deleted my Facebook account three years ago and haven’t regretted it. My husband still has an active account but checks his feed very rarely. The biggest challenge has been family members who use Facebook to make important announcements and generally keep in touch. We’ve had to tell close relatives that since we’re not on Facebook we may not have seen Second Cousin Suzy’s pregnancy announcement so they need to make an effort to mention these things to us. It works both ways in that we have to be much more intentional about keeping in touch with relatives and I personally have found that very rewarding. Unfortunately, there have been a few people, one immediate family member included, who haven’t been as responsive to more old fashioned methods of communication (email, text, phone calls) so we’ve lost touch with them. Which is sad but we have to just accept having a relationship with us isn’t one of their priorities and move on. We have also had a few problems keeping up with announcements and events at my kids’ school because we don’t check the Facebook page. Nothing terribly important but again, we’ve had to put in extra effort to stay on top of things.

    I guess my point is that while I don’t regret my decision to leave Facebook I realize that it’s an important way people communicate these days so I have deal accept consequences.

  • Melissa says:

    I gave up on Facebook about 2 years ago. It’s how I stayed in touch with a bunch of my high school friends when we went to different colleges. However, I was tired of feeling like I didn’t have my life “together” like the others seemed to. Now that I have given it up, I feel SO much better. I stay in touch with the people that really matter. I send pictures frequently of our daughter to our family and friends. I send notes and text messages. I make phone calls…it’s more personal. Now that I have met up with some of the “friends” I had in college… I realize that their lives were not as perfect as they seemed and I actually had the advantage as I was working on my life and not worried about appearances.

    • Mary says:

      So true! I love how many other people have done this too!

    • Laineykins says:

      I have those on my friends list that have the perfect life. It’s annoying…so much so, that I’ve hidden them. they are still there but just not all in my face like they were.

  • jen says:

    Great post! I gave up Facebook about 5 years ago. I want to redeem the time I’ve wasted.

  • Cate R. says:

    Agree with all of these and glad to see others out there like me. I am so much less preoccupied with the details of other people’s lives since I’ve been off FB. It’s particularly noticeable this time of year when people are starting to take all kinds of trips and vacations while we are just trying to eat and pay rent at the same time. I struggle enough with discontent.

    • Mary says:

      Discontentment….yes…that is a bit of a struggle for me too. One that I’m trying to move past. But it’s a lot easier when it’s not thrown in your face constantly.

  • Sarah says:

    I’ve been off Facebook since 2012. I agree with this, especially #1. Some friends even groaned that it was inconvenient for them because they couldn’t just include me in a mass facebook message to give an announcement. Sorry! I’m still available via email, phone call, text, or Snapchat. LOL. My husband still has his & our friends were essentially the same so sometimes I’ll go on his but after this much time I really don’t care. It’s the same 4 or 5 people posting things on there anyways.

    BUT, just to say this, I have friends who do use Facebook as a ministry opportunity and as a way to stay in contact with those who may not respond via other ways. I think that’s awesome! =)

    Facebook in and of itself isn’t bad, it’s how we use it. Although, I think it’s safe to say most use it poorly & without intention.

  • Jennifer says:

    I never did Facebook for the above reasons!
    I had a “friend” say to me once, ” You don’t have facebook, too bad I like to know about my friends without having to actually communicating with them”.
    Well, at least she was honest:) I always let them know I respond quickly to any personal emails, phone calls or texts:)

  • Kim says:

    I could not agree more! I deleted my Facebook account in October of last year and I am so much happier, have so much more time, and I am able to put my energies toward things and people that really matter.

  • Agnes says:

    Interesting viewpoints. I’ve taken media fast (which only include fb) for weeks at a time and I LOVE IT. Overall, for me, it’s a big time waster and I can so easily sin with thoughts of jealousy or a critical spirit. After each media fast I’m intentional to spend less time on fb and I removed it from my cell phone.

    I enjoy twitter a whole lot better.

  • Jenni says:

    Well, I for one will say that I don’t hate Facebook, but it’s probably because I make it work for me. If I find that one of my “friends” is posting things regularly that frustrate/irritate/induce discontent in me, then I just block them and then I can look them up every now and then. I know it’s not the best way of staying in touch with people, but I do like seeing pictures of my friends kids, etc. and because I’m busy with four little children of my own, I really don’t have much time to email/call people beyond my main family. I have a few friends that are truly dear to me, and we haven’t talked on the phone in awhile, but we’re okay with that – we read each other’s posts, comment on them, and stay in touch that way.

    I only read Facebook for maybe 10 minutes a day, if that – sometimes it’s every few days to quickly scan (and it’s quicker because I only have dear friends/family in my feed) to see what’s new.

  • AM says:

    I, too, deleted my facebook this year, and it has made me much happier. I do use Instagram, and my account is locked. This way, I can privately share and see photos and messages with my mom, sisters, sister-in-law, husband and a few close friends of the cute things our kids do all day. I realized this was the audience I was really interested in sharing with and look forward to seeing my feed–I don’t feel pressured to not post or edit because I know they love to see everything and I do to. There are also apps that will make mini photo books for $6 from your instagram account that we are looking forward to trying!

  • I too am on a Facebook benge, which totally makes me sad. I grew up with Facebook, starting my account the year the site opened while a college student a decade ago. Personally, over the past decade I have noticed that the more the site vered away from students, the more unreputable it become. A site that use to be fun, a source for coupons, and a way to connect with family, since turned into druggery for me. Recently, I had to quit Facebook in the traditional sense. Daily, I would waste time blocking passive aggressive family members, friends, and “group friends,” due to inappropriate comments being bantered about women, children, and off-color minority-related jokes. I found myself being surrounded by commentary that hurt my heart, words I would allow to be spoken in my presence, and the feeling of apathy, as I was allowing others to use the anonymity of the internet to behave, in my virtual cyberspace presence, in ways that I deplore in real life. So I’ve not deleted my facebook account (because it’s tied to my blog fanpage), I have it set to only see my blog fan page-and not any of the deluge from my personal account before. I wouldn’t say I’m not tempted to look, but as each day goes by, I do feel better, and the time I use to waste on the site, I now devote to reading, blogging, and spending more time taking care of me.

    • joan says:

      I thought your post was well worded. FB is just a tool; we can use it to our detriment or our benefit – the choice is ours. I have PA family members as well. I stuck them on the Restricted list after much inner turmoil and conflict. FB can get complicated; hopefully we don’t lose sight of the fact it’s just a tool.

  • Mel says:

    How do you stay off facebook as a blogger? Just curious.

    • Mary says:

      Just posted this on the MSM page copying and pasting it here to clarify:

      In the original article, I posted how I simply deleted my friends but still kept my account active. I wish I could have taken credit for the idea but I got it from Crystal’s book! One of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever taken. That way, I can still run my blog’s FB page and participate in groups but without the addiction/drama/negativity.

  • Michele says:

    I am praying about giving it up. I struggle with discontentment or a critical spirit. Yet, sometimes it is the only way to connect. Maybe I will have courage one day to try it! I do “fasts” at times which help. Thanks for sharing your experience!

    • Merry says:

      Why not keep Facebook and pray about your critical spirit? That way you can “test” yourself with what you see on FB. I have never understood why some allow themselves to get jealous of others lives and not just be happy to see they’re happy??

  • Bev says:

    I’ve never had a Facebook but have listened to so many things about how bad it is or then also, defense of how great it is to the point people protect it like it is their baby and you better not dare say a word about it! I’ve only seen it cause people to be discontented, say things they would never say in person, be judgmental, cause division, show off and all that other stuff that makes you feel icky. Maybe I’m wrong – these are just my observations about the thing – which is enough to keep me away!

  • Charlottte says:

    Well I am keeping my account for a couple of reasons. It’s a way to communicate while my sister has been overseas for a couple of years with no fees. The younger relatives tend to post announcements like births and prayer requests on facebook. If I don’t facebook the younger generation, I find out much later or not at all that a relative is having surgery, giving birth, or had a medical emergency. This is just me I am sure…..I don’t like it if a mutual friend finds out through facebook faster about a relative giving birth to their baby and then I was never notified through phone. That has happened and I think its embarrassing when family friends find out before I do. Of course, I am sure that that is just me.

    • Kris says:

      I agree. Facebook is how I keep in touch with extended family who live far away, how I get updates about their lives, see pictures of their kids, etc. I don’t like talking on the phone very much, and Facebook is cheaper for us anyway. I often find out about community events and other events that I’m invited to through FB. And if I want to contact people locally, but I don’t have their phone numbers or email addresses, I can usually reach them on FB instead. I don’t spend a lot of time on FB, but I actually find it helpful for what I use it for.

  • Laineykins says:

    I have a FB page and love it. I’ve “hidden” all the ones that cause drama or negativity but I can still see what they are up to if the need/urge arises. I love being able to keep in touch and joke with family members about pictures they’ve posted or comments they’ve made. My brother lives 15 (at least) hours away from us but we can still see him online and at times, it’s almost like he isn’t gone.

  • Guest says:

    I can understand all of these reasons and deactivated my account for awhile. I used that time to figure out what wasn’t working for me. Here are a few things I learned from my “FaceBreak”:
    – Negativity/drama – pretty easily avoided by unfriending certain people and hiding others.
    – Spending too much time – set specific times of day and lengths of time to check. Plus, once you’ve hidden a lot of people, there isn’t as much to read!
    – Facebook is actually a very important channel for us. My book club, our neighborhood, my class reunion, our local selling site are all run on Facebook. I was missing events, updates and important news by not being on FB.
    – I actually really did miss a lot of the people. While it would be great if people called, wrote, etc., I understand as a working mom that time is very limited, particularly when our kids are small. It’s much easier (for me as well as others) to post a few photos on FB than to print, send, etc. to all of our friends and family. The updates would be few and far between if I didn’t have such a quick and easy way to share our lives.
    – I started using Instagram more and plan to have it double as our family scrapbook since you can have photo books printed. IG easily shares on FB as well.

    • Nichole says:

      I’ve been thinking about getting on IG.

      • Guest says:

        I have really enjoyed Instagram. I’ll admit it took me awhile to get into it because if you don’t have many people you follow, it’s…well, boring. BUT, I found some IG accounts that I really enjoy (and some I don’t so I unfollow!). The thing I”m most excited about, though, is there are multiple sites and applications you can use to print a book from your IG posts. I’m not a scrapbooker but do like to keep something going for memories. Am planning to make a blurb book at the end of each year.

    • Miranda says:

      I agree with “Guest.” Just like most things, you have to make wise choices for FB to be an asset.

  • LeAnne says:

    Does anyone know if you can maintain a business page without having a personal page? Our business page was set up through my personal page…..would I lose it if I deleted my personal account?

  • Debra C says:

    I have not deleted my account or even deleted many friends, but I have kept it off of my phone. My old phone used to behave oddly with Facebook installed, and I found that it was so easy to get a single notification on my phone and lose two hours. So I cut a lot of wasted time out just by taking it off my phone. I keep my account because I’m running a business on there, I run the page for my church, and it’s the easiest way for a terrible procrastinator like me to make sure that family all gets invited to my children’s birthdays in time to actually come. I also have family that is too far away to see often but we can keep up with each other using Facebook and then I don’t have to worry that maybe they got a new phone number or moved since the last time we talked.

  • Caryn says:

    I still have my Facebook but took it off my iPhone. It’s made a big difference. I check it once a day usually in the mornings while drinking my morning tea since I do like to see pics of my friends kids and semi keep up with people. I have started unfriending the people that are negative or start drama. I have hid a few as to not hurt feelings. My close true friends text or call not Facebook message me anyway. I see it as a once a day fun thing to keep up with acquaintances and that’s about it.

  • Julie says:

    I am 32 years old and have never been on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. It’s a choice I’ve made. I don’t say that to make myself seem better than others, I just see how it affects others and I don’t have a desire to be effected that way. I am still with “the times” as I’ve even taught technology at our school for a few years. (I work at an Apple-Distinguished school so there’s tech everywhere!) But I’ve never regretted my decision! Oh, I’ve missed out on lots I’m sure. I’m pretty sure my college housemate just had a baby and I never really even heard she was pregnant (as one example) but that’s obviously not a friendship that’s very close because neither us of have kept in touch. Close friends and family will tell me if there is something I’m missing like an invite and if they forget I make sure they know they do not have to feel bad about it since it’s my choice to not be online like that. I love the fact that it filters so much from my life actually. I don’t know to feel bad about not participating in an event or deal because I never knew about it and I’m much more intentional with my real life friends. I say this all because if someone needed the encouragement to quit but thought “I’ll fall behind socially, or won’t be able to monitor my kids’ accounts, or will miss out on opportunities and news…” Yep, but it’s great! 🙂 You can still have a smart phone and friends without that chain and ball.

    • Merry says:

      If you make Facebook work for you, it can be a very enjoyable thing! I laugh when people think they’re superior because “they don’t do Facebook”, like they should be commended. I love Facebook and have had my life greatly enriched by renewing relationships, reconnecting with: teachers, old neighbors, cousins, friends that live far a away, etc. Etc. It’s only a “waste of time” if you let it be!! I don’t feel discontent with my life so I could care less if friends are showing new cars, vacations, etc. Jealousy is not caused by Facebook, people!

      • Jenny says:

        No, jealously is not caused by Facebook, but for those with a tendency toward this particular problem, it can be a place for them to fall into it. Kind of like an alcoholic — bars or liquor stores don’t cause people to become alcoholics, but a wise recovering alcoholic should probably avoid them.

  • kariane says:

    I held off signing up for FB for a long time, and finally did because I wanted to see photos and things from family and close friends that I couldn’t see elsewhere. Now, I have lots of FB “friends,” but have almost everyone hidden from my newsfeed (with few exceptions beyond those I communicate with by other means). I check my FB account once each day or two when I’m doing my other blog checking and such. With such a small feed, a short check a few times a week more than covers it.

    If you’re not ready to get rid of your account all together, you can consider radically reducing your newsfeed.

  • Jane says:

    I think the word discontentment is an interesting word used above. I do think many people feel that and choose to go off Facebook. I like Facebook. I have reconnected with grade school, high school, and college friends. An old friend found me there and I asked her to join us at our 30th college reunion – the first one she ever attended. My personal page is an extension of my brand, so I try to keep it positive. It’s also where I obtain some of my news. Mostly, it’s a fun place to share photos with family and friends.

  • Amie says:

    I was very slow to join Facebook and I only have about 30 friends. For the most part, I don’t accept friend requests from people I don’t know and I don’t know that I’ve ever even made a friend request myself. Overall, I like it. I get to see updates from people I’m actually interested in and keep up with people I no longer have direct contact with. I don’t spend hours on it. I have a very limited cell phone plan and messenger is free so I don’t use all my text messages. I do have a few friends that post things I don’t like, so I unfollow the posts and move on. It’s not that much different to me than when friends make comments that I don’t agree with.

  • Jessica says:

    *Sigh* This has been something I’ve been thinking about for a while. I deleted my Facebook account about 5 years ago, and it was an amazing feeling. One of the main reasons I deleted it was because I was at a point in my life where I felt like a failure (fresh out of college), and I would see pictures of people who “had it all together” with their new careers and such. It just did not do anything for my self-esteem, so I deleted it.

    Now I’m at a point where my self-esteem is a LOT better. However, lately I’ve been feeling “out of the loop.” I have a very limited phone plan, and pretty much everyone I know is on Facebook. I’ve been wondering if maybe I’m being too stingy with technology. It’s just the way of the world now. The majority of people have a smartphone, text each other, send pictures to each other, etc. I have a flip phone with limited texts and no ability to take or receive photos; however, I do have Google Voice as a supplement (free texts and free calls), but it’s not portable.

    I’ve just really been feeling the need to have deep, authentic friendships. I know Facebook isn’t needed for that. People had friendships before technology. I just need to know how to make friends and how to be a good friend. I keep a wall between others and myself for some reason (I think it’s those pesky self-esteem issues again), and it’s hard breaking out of that habit. So I guess because of that, I’ve been feeling disconnected, and I’m being drawn towards ways to stay connected like Facebook and cell phones. Gah! I just don’t know.

    • D says:

      I don’t think fb is the place for deep connected friendships. I think in person get togethers, email or phone calls are much more connecting.

      • Jessica says:

        Yeah, you’re probably right. I talked to my husband about it (he has one), and he said that all he does is go on there and see people’s updates which are usually complaints about something or other lol. I can totally see how you might want one to see announcements for groups and such.

        • Laineykins says:

          Sometimes though people do post funny stuff or uplifting videos. It’s not all doom, gloom and negativity. I will say that FB will give you an opportunity to maybe reconnect with old friends, from elementary or even high school. I have friends that moved away when I was in the 6th grade that’ I’m friends with on here and we’ve reconnected. I’ve met up with high school friends. It may give you a chance to reconnect with old friends.

    • Debra C says:

      I’m going to play devil’s advocate here for a minute and say that using Facebook to cultivate deep, authentic friendships can work. IF you’re intentional about using it that way. People have gotten so busy these days, it’s harder to go out to a coffee shop or a park and make new friends. After I graduated from high school, and my friends started to move away, I realized how few of them I actually had contact information for because I just always saw them at school and if we wanted to arrange something for the weekend, we did it there.

      If you have an interest, you can find a group on Facebook for it, most likely. And, particularly if you’re looking to find friendships locally, there are local groups you can find. I’m in a local moms group and a local homeschool group and a local writers group. Each of those Facebook groups is used to organize events where we get together. So you could easily find a local group on Facebook, use that to find out about local events where you could go and mingle and see if you can’t find a new friend. I am a borderline introvert/extrovert, so sometimes I need people around me to recharge and sometimes I need to be a turtle in my shell. The problem is that I tend to swing from one to the next over the course of months or years. So if I’m in turtle mode, I may only rarely get together with friends. Then when I hit people-mode, I have to figure out how to re-integrate myself into their lives and them into mine. Facebook has been a useful tool for that. And it allows me to remain somewhat present in their lives and they in mine while I’m turtling it up.

  • joan says:

    I just got back on FB after deactivating my profile for around 6 months. Yes, the long break freed up my time and attention for other things, but I missed knowing my friends were ok, and a very tiny few missed me as well and let me know it on FB when I finally got back on. Only 1 bothered to actually contact me during my ‘FB sabbatical’ and ask me, hey, are you ok? I think that is how you know who your real friends are.

    FB is not for everyone. I love knowing my friends, especially missionary folks who are all over the world, are ok.

    FB can be complicated; I married into a family of high drama. I stuck all my inlaws, stepkids and grandkids on the Restricted list. I don’t like it that way, but it’s better. Too much theft, too many lies, too many broken promises – one deception after another. The last time my stepdaughter yelled at me for something her dad did that I had no control over I decided to re-examine how much access they have to my life. After years of deceiving me, now they have to earn my trust back. But for the rest of my friends, I love opening up to them around once a week and sharing a small tidbit from my heart. They are warm and accepting, and they are not trying to use me (unlike family).

    I just wish FB would bring back the option to not add as a friend, because I don’t want anyone to add me. I have over 10 friend requests just sitting there, from ‘friends of friends’ that I won’t ever accept because I can’t keep up with my newsfeed as it is.

    FB is just a tool, like anything else. You can use it to your detriment or benefit. I choose the positive; when life gets to be too much, I deactivate my FB profile for awhile, but I don’t think I’ll get rid of it completely. There are certain special people in my life that can only reach me through FB.

    • Laineykins says:

      I thought the ability to not be sent friends request was an option. Did they remove that? I know you can make it to where you can’t be searchable.

  • Guest says:

    I hesitate to ask this because it’s so hard to tell true intentions on the Internet but I’m genuinely curious about all of the comments on discontentment. Facebook has a number of factors that irritate me but I’ve never felt discontent. Can someone explain what about Facebook would make you feel discontent? I also don’t understand the comments about other people “having it all together”…what about Facebook would make you think someone else has it all together?

    • Laineykins says:

      Because of the way they portray their lives. I have family members like this that all the post are wonderful things (which is good, I suppose) but it can make a person feel like they aren’t living as well as them though everyone knows, nobody lives a perfect life.

      • joan says:

        There are 2 options: allow everyone to add you as a friend, and allow only friends of friends to add you as a friend. They took the option to not allow anyone to add you as a friend away around 2 years ago I think.

      • Guest says:

        Thanks for responding. I guess I don’t have any family or friends like that – ha! Like you said, though, no one has a perfect life. I do have friends who try really hard to focus on the positive but I don’t think there intent is to make people think they don’t have any negative but rather trying to keep their own mind on positive thoughts. Maybe they’re doing that?

  • Anonymous says:

    I just “unfollow” most people (even extended family), pages, and groups so their content doesn’t end up in my feed. We are still “friends”, I still “like” the page, I’m still “in” the group, I just “unfollow” them so I don’t get notifications or see things in my feed. I keep my close family, certain neighbors, two high school friends, and one community group in my feed. I have a dozen or so pages in there too – the ones that provide value to my life. I might miss something but it will be something I would have missed before FB existed – like a birth/marriage/death in the family of my third cousin’s college roommate.

  • Christine says:

    I deactivated my account 2 years ago. I reactivated it a week ago just to see how much I would use it (to test myself). I love being off the grid and I found my real life relationships deepened without FB. However, I miss out on pictures (some of my friends have had babies, and I do talk to these friends in real life. They send me some pictures but I miss out on a lot). I also miss out on invites. So, we’ll see. I still prefer being off the grid but am considering keeping it active and deleting lots of “friends” and hiding all those negative posts.

  • Mary says:

    I quit FB for the most part, because some posts are annoying. I take part in closed prayer groups dedicated to updates on friends who are ill.

    I’ve taken up writing letters and sending handwritten cards. I find that I can share on a more personal level with people that mean something to me. They seem to appreciate it. It’s a kind of a ministry for me. What I get in return- knowing that I’ve hopefully lightened a load, brought a smile.

  • Lisa says:

    I quit Fb a year ago and don’t plan on going back. At first it was a struggle but now I don’t even think about it. More time with my family and less time sitting at the computer reading useless stuff.

  • Amber says:

    It took me years before I joined fb. I mostly use it to keep in touch with out of state relatives and close friends. I have a select few in my news feed and I don’t friend everyone request even if I know them. That is what works for me.

  • Jennifer says:

    I was reluctant to join Facebook at first. My sister talked me into it. I don’t friend everybody & their brother just people I really know and am interested in keeping up with. It is a great tool for my family who live out of state & for my ex husband’s family who I don’t really contact to be able to see what their grandchildren are doing. I am so not into the drama. My sister, same one who got me to sign up, got into a major argument with me over a post i liked from someone we knew way back when, someone I haven’t seen or talked to in 20 years. It was so stupid. I told her most of what you see on FB isn’t real life. No one’s life is perfect. We only show the fairytale life that we want everyone to believe we are living. I know that most of these people are not my real friends. I think that it can be a great tool, but just don’t get too caught up in it.

  • Miranda says:

    Facebook can indeed be a time trap! I think that’s my biggest challenge with it. I have to set my self limits (*chuckle* like a limit how many chapters I read in a book at night) to make sure I don’t get sucked in to much.

    Yet, it’s been an incredible tool and encouragement to me as well. Here’s a few of my thoughts…

    • Thanks so much for sharing!

      • Miranda says:

        Thank you for your constant encouragement and challenge for us to live our lives intentionally, Crystal. That intentionality was a big part of shaping my thoughts. Appreciate your vision beyond “right now” and how you share that so consistently.

    • Mary says:

      I would LOVE to know how setting a self limit of book chapters works. I always say, oh just one more chapter…and then I find myself at the end of the book and exhausted 🙂

      I need help for my book addiction!

      • Miranda says:

        Yay! A fellow bookworm with an addition problem!

        Unfortunately, I’m better at setting FB limits than I am book limits. 😛 My only moments of success include friend/husband instant accountability (i.e. give the book to them after set time/amount) or when I strictly limit myself to 1 chapter a day and put the book away in a far, unreachable cupboard when it’s not “book time.”

        That and reminding myself that I really do enjoy the book more when I’m reading and enjoying it a regular pace instead of speed reading to try to get through as much of the story as possible before I collapse exhausted. 😛

  • Caroline says:

    I’m sure Facebook is negative for some, but I have had a great experience. I am able to keep up with friends who I love, but don’t live close to anymore, wish people Happy Birthday, post pics of my kids for family who lives out of town, and have a wonderful archive for a lot of my pictures. I only check it once a day or so, but really think it is a good thing for some…I see a lot of negative comments about it, but I just haven’t had that experience.

  • Michelle Owings-Christian says:

    Facebook is one of the ways I keep in touch with family and friends who live far away. I find out about many things on Facebook and I can get in touch with a bunch of people really quickly at need. Yes, it is a time sink. I am limiting the time I spend there. It serves a purpose for me and I won’t give that up at this time. I know how to scroll past things — and most of my friends post trigger warnings. We all do what works for ourselves, certainly. I feel good about limiting my time on Facebook, and I feel good about the connections I have there.

  • Molly says:

    I just don’t get this. Facebook is what you want it to be. I’ve reconnected with people that I hadn’t seen in 20 years. We’ve caught up on each other’s lives & now stay caught up. It’s a great way to share pictures, experiences & information. I enjoy the healthy debate that frequently happens on my friends’ pages. Facebook is what you make of it. I choose to make it a great thing!

  • Amanda says:

    I decided to give fb of for a while, on a given day I can log in over 10 times and stay on for hours a day. I think if you can control it then your ok but in my situation I truly believe I am addicted. The first step is admitting it the second is seeking help, so here I go. My hope is to be able to live without, not sure yet if I will stay away from it forever or if I just want to get it under control so I am checking it once in a blue moon and only staying on for 10 or 15 min to catch up with friends and family members that I don’t get to see very often. I think a plus will be hearing something for the first time when I run in to someone and not saying “yeah I saw that on facebook.”

  • Terri says:

    I enjoy FB. I have seen and heard from others how it can become a time zapper or gossip session. It is what you make it or allow it to be. Just a too. I don’t enjoy every section of the newspaper either but it gets delivered as a whole. At least with FB we can choose what and where it’s delivered.

  • sharon says:

    For me, maybe because I value my own privacy, but I mostly find all the personal information I see on facebook a little overwhelming and makes me feel uncomfortable that people are sharing such personal details of their lives with hundreds of people on their friends list, and most of this info isn’t something that adds value to my day and makes me feel like I’m snooping on people’s lives, and that doesn’t make me feel very good. There’s also a lot of boasting/bragging on fb too. Being on facebook has not brought me closer to my real friends, who I see in real life and connect more authentically face to face.

  • Kari Stevenson says:

    I deactivated my account last fall after wanting to do it for years. I did end up getting back on but I decreased my friend list to only family & very close friends.

    I think I ticked a few people off when I did that but it had become such an overwhelming space for me and I have been on Facebook since it started. I just don’t care that much if a random acquaintance I never talk to is ticked that I defriended them.

    Also, can those of us in college during 2003/04 call ourselves the Facebook generation? 😉

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