{These children usually just have pap to eat. We brought them some fruit and they were so excited to gobble it down!}
Of all the new and different things I experienced in South Africa, I think the thing that will stick with me for a very long time was seeing first hand just how significant the hunger problems there are in the world.
And I know they are not isolated to communities in Africa — or even in third world countries. Right here in America, there are children and adults who go hungry. There are children who go home from school and have no food at all over the weekends.
{This JAM porridge is much more nutritionally dense than the pap that most South African children in the poorest communities eat. You can read more about it here. Take Action Ministries in partnership with Help One Now makes and feeds this porridge to hundreds of children every day in an effort to help fill children’s bellies with something that provides nutritional value.}
We want to change the world and make an impact, but sometimes, that starts with offering a bowl of porridge. When you have an empty belly, it’s hard to think of anything else. It’s hard to dream or imagine a life outside of the confines of poverty.
Those of us who have choices in what we eat each day are tremendously blessed. We worry about whether we’re giving our kids enough variety. We stress over whether we should buy more organic produce.
We wonder whether we should give our kids a different kind of vitamin or whether they should be eating more meat or drinking more milk or going off dairy or gluten…
{Samp and beans — this was what they fed to around 100 kids at the Reagoboka Drop-In Centre the day we visited. It made me so happy for the kids to get something other than pap to eat. We got to eat it for lunch, too, and I thought it was quite tasty!}
And none of these things we worry about as parents are wrong. We should want to do our best to nurture our children and encourage them to develop healthy habits from a young age.
However, going to South Africa gave me a completely different perspective on life, including things like making food and washing dishes. I realized that there are many things that I’ve complained about in the past that seem so silly and inconsequential now when you think of them in the grand scheme of things.
Here are two things I will never be able to complain about again:
1. I can never complain about having to do dishes.
I’ve often grumbled over a heap of dirty dishes… wishing cooking and eating didn’t make such a mess, wishing there weren’t burned pans to scrub, wishing I could just go to bed instead of staying up conquering that mountain of plates and cups and bowls.
But how can I complain when I realize that those same dishes represent the blessing of food? Food that is readily available in our fridge and cupboards to cook and eat and, yes, dirty our dishes.
Dirty dishes mean that little people at my house have food in their bellies. That none of us know the ache and pain of a seriously empty stomach or the fear that must come when there is nothing to eat and no money to buy food.
{The kitchen where the Reagoboka Drop-In Centre cooks food for over 100 children every day. And you thought your kitchen was too small for your family!}
2. I can never complain about how much time it takes to plan & prepare meals.
So many times, I’ve thought how easy it would be if we could just skip eating — or at least stick with really simple meals. I’ve sometimes dreaded the fact that it’s getting close to dinner and I need to make yet another meal.
I’ve had times when I’ve wished my kids weren’t hungry yet again. (Didn’t they just eat a few hours ago??)
But here’s the thing: I’ve never known what it is like to see my kids go hungry. To desperately wish I could give them something to eat and have nothing to give them. To see them suffer from hunger and be literally helpless to do anything about it.
{Visiting the Maubane Community. While we were there, Take Action Ministries arranged a special treat — lunch for all the kids in the community! They had pap and Walkie Talkies — which are chicken feet and chicken beaks!}
Yes, we’ve had very lean years, but we always had food to eat — even if it meant eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches almost every day. We’ve always had a roof over our heads, blankets to cover up with at night, enough clothes to wear, coats to keep us warm in the winter time, enough money to buy gas to drive where we needed to go, clean water to drink and bathe with.
How can I complain about things like “having to cook yet again” when there are mothers all around the world who would give anything just to have something to cook for their starving child? To have even one small bit of food once a day to quell their baby’s empty stomach?
From here on out, I hope that I look at that pile of dirty dishes, that messy kitchen, that refrigerator needing to be cleaned out, and the meal that needs to be made with completely new appreciation. Truly, we have so much more to be grateful for than we often realize.
P.S. If you feel called to help the children in some of the poorest communities in South Africa, we’d love to have you join us and over 100 others as part of the Ten Dollar Tribe. You can read all about this group and how you can get involved here. And thank you, thank you to each of you who have already joined. We are incredibly humbled and grateful that you’d join us in this!
Monica says
Beautiful post…and a great reminder. My son is in Nicaragua this week serving with a mission team. This is his third trip. Last week, he started working after school at a local restaurant. Before he left, he commented that he knew he was going to have so much trouble returning to his job and dealing with how he felt about the food that he throws out as he cleans tables. He sees how much need there is in other countries and sees how much we throw out daily. We are so blessed that we miss the blessing sometimes.
Christine G. says
Having a little girl that we adopted from China who was SO malnurished that at 5 1/2 years old she was the size of an 18 month old (by China standards- which are different than US standards), I understand what you are saying. The one thing that REALLY bugs me is when people say,”I’m starving!!!”, when the food is 5 minutes late to the table. I actually had a teen say that to me last week; I told him about what my daughter (whom he knew) had been through in the orphanage. His response was “But this is the US.” You can’t fix stupid.
Carla says
Beautiful post. Thanks for reminding me of the lessons I myself learned when I spent a year of my life in Botswana. That’s been almost a decade ago now, before marriage and kids. But reading your posts have brought back such a flood of memories and remembrance of life lessons. It also reminds me that my passion and compassion is still there and though I’m in a different place now, I can still make a difference if I just try.
Charlotte Whatley says
Thanks for posting. I so enjoy reading about South Africa. I just started fostering children in my area. There is a such a great need for this. You find that you have to teach basic hygiene because the children have not been taught properly. The children did not know that Christmas was a celebration of Christ’s birth. Sometimes you are teaching them basic letter sounds when they should already be reading. I have exposed them to foods that they have never had before. I am new at this, but my perspective has changed completely. I thank the Lord for the raising I got and a two parent home. The poor children are desparate for a father figure and just cling to my husband when he comes home from work.
Natalie says
Beautiful post! Thanks for sharing and giving this side of the world a better perspective.
Blessings,
Natalie
http://www.oohlalamaison.com
Kathy says
Thanks for the check up from the neck up! I had recently been feeling the same way and needed my perspective to be refreshed. I called my 7 year old son over to the computer and showed him the pictures and explained the blog posting with him. I want him to understand how blessed we are and to be aware that there are others in need that we may aid. When I was pregnant with him, I started counting my blessings every day in prayer to God and it was amazing as I did this everyday the transformation in my thinking and the awareness of not only my blessings but how could I be a blessing to others.
Thanks again for the reminder and the inspiration.
Steve Kobrin says
This is so inspiring, Crystal. But here’s my question: once we get back to normal life, and we’re not around people with less advantages than us all the time, how do we retain our perspective and remember to count our blessings?
Crystal Paine says
My advice: Consider finding those who are struggling/needy in your own area and start serving them on a regular basis. Almost all areas have soup kitchens/homeless shelters/other options to serve… there are needy people all around us!
Steve Kobrin says
A good idea. Thank you, Chrystal.
Cari says
This is a great reminder. Thank you again for sharing your trip with us. I just wish I could always remember it. And why is it so easy to feel we don’t have enough? Any ideas how we can remember this daily and on how to get rid of that not having enough feeling?
Christy McKinney says
Thank you for this great reminder. I too find myself complaining about cooking and cleaning up for my two little ones. I’m so thankful that we have the ability to buy good food and drink clean water.
Thank you also for your website/blog. I can relate to almost every story you write.
Amy says
What a great article. I am definitely guilty of complaining about dishes and the like. I needed this reminder to help me put them in perspective. Thanks for sharing from your heart and maintaining such a well-rounded, informative, and inspirational website. You are appreciated!
Crystal Paine says
Thank you so much for your sweet encouragement!
Brett says
Perspective checks are good indeed; but more than that it grieves the heart of God when we complain about what He has provided for us. Always remember, with praise and thanksgiving, the Gift and the Giver.
Lisa says
Love this comment. (And loved the article, Crystal, and had my 8-year-old read it this morning!).
Nichole says
Thank your for giving a new perspective! You do a great job a that! Recalling a Starbuck’s post you did.
I’ve been so overwhelmed with the dishes being never ending and feeling like I’m not caught up. I ought to be thankful because I have more dishes to clean up because I am at home 3 meals a day where as before I didn’t have a child and worked full-time.
Heather B says
Our church sponsors a village in Nicaragua through a charity called Rainbow Network. Our minister recently visited the village. Most people receive ONE meal per day through a Rainbow Network feeding center. Normally they receive rice and beans but beans are so expensive right now that they use a soy protein powder instead. He asked one child if he liked the food. That child just kind of looked at him funny. He realized that taste is really a non issue. No one complains. They are just happy to have nourishment.
Kristy says
This is so good! I’ve not looked at dishes and laundry like that before. Thank you for sharing it.
I had a similar thought recently. My parents were visiting and ministering in Kenya for a month in December. As I was going about my house, I was flustered that no one refilled the toilet paper in 2 bathrooms — on the same day. Oh, the tragedy! Suddenly, I realized how crazy my frustration was. I actually have a REAL bathroom INSIDE my house. And not just one, but several bathrooms. Now, every time I refill a toilet paper roll, it is a call of gratitude.
Lydia @ frugaldebtfreelife says
This was such a blessing to read.
Anna says
Thank you so much for these reminders! Your pictures are beautiful and make me feel like I am right there in Africa. I would love to take my family on a missions trip to witness this first hand, but your posts give us a little taste of poverty and a reality check and encouragement to do something about it. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. May God bless you!
Karyn says
Ouch! I so relate to all you are saying. I live in South Africa and see it everyday and yet can so easily complain about the mundane instead of being SO thankful for the abundance of food we have. Thanks 🙂
Corrie Sweeney says
Wow what timing. After a big meal last night I was feeling woe is me because it didn’t come out perfect and was a huge mess to clean up. I need to be grateful about how lucky I am to have the means to make a huge meal even if everything is not just right. I even have a dishwasher so I don’t even hand wash everything. thank you for giving me some perspective.
Lizelle Terblanche says
I live in South Africa, and yes hunger is a very big problem in our beloved country, and not only in the black population, with politicians getting fatter and fatter by the day! Food are extremely expensive and with the droughts, farm murders and evictions, this problem is going to escalate, leading to untold suffering!
Friends says
Excited to join the Ten Dollar Tribe. My kids are giving their $1 each from their Valentine’s cards, and I recently sold some things to contribute. It is more blessed to give than to receive. Thank you for giving us this opportunity to help! We appreciate you!
Crystal Paine says
Thank you SO very much! We appreciate you all more than you know! And I just prayed this morning that your kids would be especially blessed for being involved!
Carla says
We sponsor a little girl through compassion that is the same age as my son. We just started in the fall, and started a unit on her home (Bangladesh) this month in our homeschool. As an only child from a middle class family in a middle class American town it was very eye opening for my son. They both turned nine this month, and he was very concerned about the different ways they celebrated birthdays. He had a lot of presents, a bowling birthday party with his friends, and got to pick wherever he wanted to eat. I think he appreciated it more this year, when he realized just how different things were for his new friend in Bangladesh. It’s really helped my husband and I see things differently, too. Twice this month (Elliott’s birthday and Valentine’s day) we have spent more money on one dinner than we send for a whole month for the girl we sponsor. That is crazy. Since we have started sponsoring this girl, we have been more thankful for what we have been blessed with and have started working on being better stewards of what God has given us, so that we have more to give away. We have always given to several charities, but getting to know more about this one specific little girl has been so much more personal and real than just approving an auto withdrawal.
Crystal Paine says
I loved this comment! We LOVE Compassion and sponsor a girl for both of our girls and a boy for Silas. I love the opportunity it offers for them to write letters, learn more about another country, and see the world through different eyes.
The Frugal Exerciser says
I have been fortunate to have sponsor children, now grown, from Colombia, Dominican Republic and Cameroon(my hubby’s country of origin). I have seen extreme poverty first hand and sometimes I wish that more US citizens would experience what real poverty is like. Thanks for your article, I really enjoyed it.
Emily says
I’m so guilty of complaining about the “never-ending” of meal planning & prepping. I should be so thankful that it’s not ending. So thanks for this perspective changer. I needed it.
Christine says
Thank you for this inspiring post! We are all blessed more than we know.
And your post is perfectly timed with the start of Lent. I think about what Jesus sacrificed for us.
Blessings to you! 🙂
Crystal Paine says
YES!
{And you are so welcome! Thank you for your encouragement!}
Danielle says
I have been living in a developing country for several years. What you say is so true! I also often think about laundry. It is so time-consuming to do laundry by hand. (but we are so lucky for the clothes we have). When I go back to visit family in the US, I marvel at how much of a chore people think it is to load clothes in the washer or dryer. We could all use a change of perspective!
Crystal Paine says
Ah, yes, laundry is another chore that we have SO easy compared to other countries… and yet, I’ve often complained about that one, too!
Diane says
Wow, this really touched my heart today. We went to Ash Wednesday service at noon, then came home and ate a nice meal that was easily put together with the help of a crockpot and a microwave. Now I’m reading blogs on my computer with the soft sound of my dishwasher running in the background. Yes, we have it so very good!
The Jewish Lady says
I have so much compassion for anyone that’s hungry. Most of us realize there is massive hunger in Africa, but forget about all the hungry people here in the U.S.
I truly wish I could feed everyone in the world!
Crystal Paine says
Here’s one simple idea that I love for making a difference for the hunger problem in the U.S.: https://moneysavingmom.com/2015/02/can-never-complain-dishes-cooking.html
Jennifer B. says
Curious what you were linking to, regarding making a difference here in the US. I am getting this same article when I click what is posted above in your reply.
Crystal Paine says
Whoops on that! Here’s the correct link: https://moneysavingmom.com/2012/03/reader-tip-blessings-in-a-backpack.html
Amy says
I think about this kind of thing a lot when I start to stress out about which diet trend I should be following to feed my family. Grains or no grains? Dairy or no dairy? Organic or not? This article really helps to put those confusing concepts into perspective and make me grateful to have so many options to feed (and clean up after) my family!
vena brown says
Crying as I realize just how truthful this is. I have 5 kids and often think all the same thoughts as you. But THIS puts the mundane into perspective. Thanks.