Guest post from Kemi of Homemaking Organized
About 10 years ago when we happily discovered we were pregnant, we knew we needed to make some drastic lifestyle changes to welcome the coming baby. Before we were even married we had planned that I would be staying home to care for and homeschool our future children. That meant we would have to adjust from living on two incomes to one, my husband’s.
At the time we were living okay on two incomes. We only had one car, we lived in a two bedroom/two bath home, we took vacations about once a year, we ate out regularly but I cooked a lot at home, we tithed, we shopped, and we saved a little.
We both made good money but at the end of each month we didn’t have much left. We didn’t know quite how we were going to do it. It didn’t seem we had much to budge. Or so we thought.
We had about eight months to figure it out before our little one made an appearance so we got busy. Here’s how we did it.
The Decision:
The first thing we did was look at where all of our money was going. We pulled out our accounts and listed where the money went each paycheck.
Not necessarily in this order this is where we were spending the bulk of our money each month.
1. Tithing
2. Home and Utilities
3. Food and eating out
4. Tools
5. My shopping
We knew that our home, utilities and our tithing were not going to change. So those things stayed put.
Next, we realized we ate out about once a week and my husband would also purchase lunch and snacks during the day. That added up to a few hundred each pay period. I have a food allergy so I was bringing my own foods to work. We knew these eating patterns had to change.
Also in my husband’s job, he has to have certain tools. He is not reimbursed for them but we do itemize them on our taxes. The problem was he was a little “tool happy”. He was buying a lot of tools and they were adding up. So this was something to look into.
One we decided these things, we had to address my own shopping. I was not a huge clothing shopper but still I had to pay attention to the other things I might spend a lot on. Household appliances, perfumes, soap, and so on… these small purchases can add up quickly!
We gave ourselves small budgets in these areas and eliminated eating out altogether because it wasn’t necessary and with my food allergy it wasn’t that much fun for me anyway.
The Results:
We started to live off of one income as soon as possible. The extra would be put into savings.
We started off making a budget for the one income.
We made plans to pay off the car. We had less than a year on the payments and figured we could funnel the extra money we saved from restaurant eating and tool buying into paying off the car faster.
Where we Are Today:
It’s 10 years later. I’m at home homeschooling our daughter. We continue to tithe and we have the same car — it’s now paid off.
We eat out maybe four times a year for special occasions. My husband buys the occasional tool as needed.
We have a savings account. We still take vacations but they are closer to home (the beach).
My husband has received cost of living raises throughout the years but nothing drastic. I still shop but only where needed. I make a little working online but nothing to replace my previous income. Not even close.
Was it painless? For the most part, yes. We were blessed.
I had friends looking to make similar changes ask me how we did it. One of the things that most were not willing to give up was two cars. I can understand this. We were actually blessed here because my husband has a work truck so I have the car. Looking back, if we had to do it again without the truck, saving to buy another new to us car would be a good option.
What if you had to cut your income in half? Could you do it? What changes can you make in your budget to cut back on excess and build a decent savings account?
Kemi Quinn is a wife, mother, church musician, and amateur cook from Vancouver, Washington. She loves to read about how women kept home in time’s past (aka Vintage Homemaking). She writes over at Homemaking Organized about how to keep organized at home today.
shorthoneys says
My husband and I made a commitment to live like we were in college even after graduating. We worked a little in college and applied for every scholarship and grant possible. I actually made money my last year of college to pay for our living expenses. We paid cash for our first vehicle in college and saved a 20% downpayment for a house right out of college. Within 6 years of graduating we had all of our student loans and our home paid off. This all happened because of careful budgeting, coupons and careful spending. We always lived on less than one income. At the 7 year post college mark we had two babies (one adopted) within 8 months, two major surgeries and two consecutive job losses on my husband’s part. I quit my job when we had our kids and started an online sewing business.
It was definitely challenging for a few years but we continued to save and cut back. It has since been 10 years and we paid cash for a duplex and the house we are living in now. As a result, we are able to build our dream home and still maintain almost no mortgage. We have a mortgage on our dream home, but our rental pretty much covers our entire mortgage on almost a million dollar home!
I am very thankful for my budgeting skills. As of 2 years ago we learned my son and I have debilitating late stage Lyme disease which costs an unimaginable amount to treat! We are also required to maintain a very strict diet for which no coupons are available, which quadrupled my grocery budget. I would encourage everyone to save and cut out what is not absolutely necessary for when the unexpected happens such as a job loss or major health issues. Rentals are a great way to earn passive income and a rental property we paid $60k for pays for a $420k mortgage! Instead of paying off the mortgage we plan to purchase more rentals- completely the opposite of what I ever would have said a few years ago. Debt can be good if used in the way we do and if you are able to save cash to use on other investments. I wish the best of luck to everyone on their journey to financial freedom!
Michelle@crossfittingcopswife says
I just wanted to throw my journey into the mix: first, congrats to you both! It’s a wild ride getting to a 1 income family. I’m 28, have a toddler and I’ve been able to be a SAHM/WAHM for the last 11 months. A lot had to happen to get there!
We’d been married 2 years when we found out I was pregnant. We both knew I wanted desperately to be a SAHM but we weren’t where we needed to be for me to stay at home. So over the course of my pregnancy and 1 year 3 months after my daughter was born I continued to work my full-time+ job and also have my own direct sales business that helped pay off a total of $40K in debt. My husband is a police officer and also continued to work his butt off and when we had no more CC’s, loans or car payments I put in my notice. Since then I’ve continued to bring about $500 a month through my direct sales business and odd jobs I do to get some “fun money” and allow us to make extra payments on debt, but my primary focus is my family.
Just know for anyone feeling like living on 1 income is impossible, you can make it happen- just trust in God and his plan for you.
Melissa says
My husband and I recently had to do this. My son is disabled and getting someone to watch him is more expensive than me working, plus with our two vehicles (that we can’t live without), my son qualifies for no assistance through the SSA and almost doesn’t qualify for his necessary state health insurance – even after we cut $1400 from our income!
Right now, if we never get gas or groceries, we’d be $250 out of the hole for each month (that’s assuming our electric bill doesn’t skyrocket) and all that money goes toward rent for the next month. I’m so defeated that saving is not an option and my student loans are about to come due. The only hope we have is a miracle of about $20,000 falling into our laps and even that won’t pay it off. Ugh.
Missy says
Great job!
Christy says
I’ve posted about this before. Not everyone can be a one car family. My husband works crazy hours 3 am – 1 pm, or 4-2, or 8-6, or 12 – 10 depending on the day. I am a teacher. He also works 30 mins away. I only work 2.5 miles away from home, thank goodness. We had the possibility of his car being in the shop this week (the last week of school) and he had to be at work at 3 and 4 a.m. Thurs. and Fri. and I was panicking about how I was going to get to work. Wake up kids at 2:15 a.m. to drive Daddy to work and come back and try to fall asleep or ask a colleague to pick me up, which means 2 car seats in her car and dropping one child at daycare! Or do I take a sick day on the last week of school–big no, no–oh, and I have to figure out a way for the kindergartner to get to school if I do that!! It’s a great way to save for those that can do it, but it is not for everyone!
David says
My wife went to work for a short time after college before we had our first child. It was very nice to have the extra income, but it would have cost us money for her to go to work. She wanted to stay home and we always planned on it, I can definitely understand the difficulty of having to go from two incomes to one.
Lourdes says
Very good post! Some of the things you were describing like about your husband using a work truck and you using the one car you both have is me to! That is a HUGE Blessing most definitely. I also home school my 12 year old son.
Trevor says
Kemi –
Very appropriately timed article. My wife is pregnant and we are anticipating the birth of our first child/daughter in September. Like you we had previously decided that she would stay home once we had children. It sounds like we are doing a lot of the same things you did. We are already budgeting just my income and saving hers for an emergency fund and insurance costs for labor and delivery. We are also selling my vehicle and becoming a one car household. I’m lucky enough to have a very convenient bus and streetcar (we’re in New Orleans) routes from our home to my office.
What worries me is our reduced ability to save once she quits her job. I’m not afraid of work and have done part-time work off and on for the past two years. Besides cutting grocery/food budget and working extra, what other ways were you able to find to save money even on one income?
Thanks,
Trevor
Kemi Quinn says
Hi Trevor,
Congratulations on the baby. What a blessing 🙂 Sounds like you have it all laid out wonderfully.
As Crystal mentioned earlier a small cottage business can be just the extra boost a family needs to keep from going bare bones.
https://moneysavingmom.com/2009/10/becoming-a-workathome-mom-its-work.html
https://moneysavingmom.com/31-ways-to-earn-extra-cash-before-christmas
My best friend teaches piano and flute a few days a week.
Another of my friends is bilingual and translates medical documents from home. She is in high demand.
A family member makes bath and body products and sells online and in boutiques. She does this all from home.
Another family member has a knack for picking up vintage items at Estate sales. She resells these items. Why? I don’t know as she has a high paying job.
I, who does not like inventory, make planners and earn a small bit from my websites.
There are so many ways to earn a few extra dollars for both you and your wife.
But try not to worry too much about the future (like I did). You are making plans already. Enjoy the pregnancy and your newborn.
I hope some of this is helpful and what you were looking for.
Trevor says
Absolutely.
Thank you for the response!
Brandi @ Savvy Student Shopper says
Thanks for the post! I have full intentions of living off one income once these school loans are paid for 🙂
Christy says
We’re preparing to go from being a one-income family to a n0-income family (while my husband goes back to school). It will be hard, but I think we can do it!
Laraba says
There is a book called “Miserly Moms: Living on One Income in a Two Income World” by Jonni McCoy that is quite eye opening about how much it costs a mom with kids in daycare to work. Because the “extras” of working add up so much. McCoy quit her job to stay home with her kids and they personally improved their finances as she had more time (and used the time) to cut expenses.
We’ve lived on one income since we were married, though the first couple of years we lived on MY income as my husband was in graduate school. Then he started working full time just about the time we had our first child. Looking back, our financial situation worked out very well because we got married a bit later (I was 27, he was 26) and our first little one came along when I was 30. Amazingly, we have 8 children now as the Lord blessed us greatly. (Obviously that didn’t just happen…we haven’t used birth control and gladly welcomed each one!) I know many people say to work for a few years and save up but there are issues with that too…some couples wait to stabilize themselves financially and then are grieved when they can’t have children due to infertility. I think praying for God’s wisdom is so important. That, and getting used to doing without. We’ve never had cable and we live without fancy cell phones and we very rarely go on exciting vacations. Our children aren’t in soccer or karate or voice lessons. I see many people out there who are struggling financially who aren’t willing to give up things like cable television…I understand that, but it is important to look at those pesky monthly expenses that pull the family down. Reading previous comments, I can see we do have it easier than many as my husband makes a lot so while we do limit ourselves in many ways, we are able to go out to eat as a couple periodically and we have a BIG house for our large family. My hat is off to you moms and dads who are cutting expenses to the bone so you can stay home with your children. Having me at home is such a blessing for our family.
Lisa says
For the family who has decided to swing shift. I am 47 years old and I was raised in a swing shift family. You both need to commit to it and to stay positive and everything will be fine. My mom did all her housecleaning chores during the week as much as she could. My dad would make his bed daily and cook his lunch and clean up afterwards. Since they both worked in factories and couldnt call at home during their shift, they would each write a daily short letter to each other updating the other of the day’s events. My sister and her husband (who also raised their kids on swing shift) would call each other up on their break time to talk. It gets easier with time. I never felt anything was wrong or missing and I felt it made us independent yet secure. My parents did it for at least 25 years of their marriage. Where it became difficult was with retirement because they then had to readjust to “living” with another person in their daily activities.
My family also lives on one income and has for the last 11 years. My husband is a truck driver but does come home nightly. His income is not high but he works all kinds of crazy hours to keep me home. We have 6 children ranging in age from 4 to 18. It can be difficult at times but I keep a positive outlook ( my glass is half full). Things work out for us and what is most important is to keep your focus on God and you will be provided for. Here is a short list of some of the things we do. We use second hand clothes for all of us, I also have some very generous relatives that will gift my children with new clothes once in a while- we usually just buy clothes to fill in the gaps and nothing extra, plus shoes. Shoes that we provide to each child: sneakers, dress shoes and sandals for summer. It’s cold in the winter here in northern Maine (can get to 40 degrees below zero during the winter) so I buy my winter boots from LL Bean (stays warm and has 2 removeable felts) in a unisex color and we pass them down as the kids grow. Once my kids are 16 and have jobs we provide them with a clothing allowance for school and christmas and they buy whatever else they want. We use homemade detergent and use a clothesline from spring thru fall and use drying racks in the winter to dry. I am working on going to homemade cleaning products only. I have a garden with the basics: strawberries, cukes, string beans, beets, carrots, spinich, lettuce, onions, zukes. I make do with what I do or do not have. We dont eat out much and spend a lot of time with family. I coupon and sale shop but only one grocery store where their prices are so low they dont need sales (i think not!) and a smaller store. Walmart is a 120 mile moose infested round trip so it doesnt happen often (like at most 1x per year). We pinch and scrape a lot but it is so worth it. The only thing I personally struggle with is not to be able to decorate my house to the way I would like it but I can deal with it. My kids feel secure and are generally happy so that makes me happy.
One thing we did when we had a mortgage was to take our monthly mortgage payment amount and divide that figure by 4. We then made payment on our mortgage weekly. Less interest accumulates in 7 days so more money in your regular payment goes to principle. With that payment made your principle is slightly lower so the per diem interest is based on a slightly lower principle. When there were 5 weeks in a month we still paid our weekly payment which advanced payment date. When we had income tax refunds we would apply a portion of them to our principle. It felt easier to make the payment because it was a “smaller” amount to pay, the extra payments didnt hurt either and best of all we paid off our mortgage earlier without feeling like we were suffering. This cannot be done a all financial institutions but our loans were kept “in-house) so they allowed it. They don’t advertise this since it cuts into their profit but it’s worth it to ask about weekly payments.
Stephanie says
“One thing we did when we had a mortgage was to take our monthly mortgage payment amount and divide that figure by 4. We then made payment on our mortgage weekly. Less interest accumulates in 7 days so more money in your regular payment goes to principle.”
I thought this was a great idea, one I wish we would have thought of. I also want to remind the other readers that if you pay in advance or above your mortgage bill, make sure it is being applied to your principle, not to the end of your loan.
Tia Robertson says
Yay! SOMEONE in Vancouver who is doing what I am hoping and trying my hardest to do too! Thanks Kemi (and Crystal) We are in the beginning stages of living on one income. Cut out everything extra, our newest little one is now 1 month old, and my husband is returning to work from paternity leave this coming Monday. 🙁 Not sure how we will do it (without my income we are $450 short every month), but I have a list of ideas (and an even longer list of things to sell to make it work) to pull it off. Homeschooling is our #1 priority, after the school system here is, according to me, failing my 13 year old right now. I wish I could un-school him, but the headache of dealing with withdrawing from ESD is a nightmare! Looking forward to following another successful story:) Thanks again:)
Jessica says
DH and I have always lived off his income, beginning when we got married and he was only getting about 30 hours per week at a $10 /hr job unloading trucks for a clothing company and I was working on my master’s degree. He eventually was promoted and I got a fellowship that provided tuition and a stipend.
We had 1, paid off small car. We bought an average house in an average neighborhood. We buy secondhand whenever possible, I do the haircuts, mending, cooking, cleaning and gardening, DH is the handyman and IT technician of the household.
We used my income to pay off our house in just 6.5 years. We’ve taken 1 vacation in nearly 11 years of marriage and that was our honeymoon 3 years after we got married (didn’t take it after the wedding because we didn’t have the cash to pay for it). We don’t have tv service, I don’t get my hair or nails done. We don’t have expensive hobbies. We don’t smoke or consume alcohol. Birthday parties are simple affairs of cake and ice cream at our house. Birthday and Christmas gifts are limited. I’m quite low maintenance. I have a “dumb” phone that makes and receives calls. I breastfed the first two and tried with the third, but my thyroid disorder went haywire and made my milk dry up, so our new baby is on formula and donor milk. We do use disposables due to skin problems that were exacerbated by the cloth that we had, so I gave the cloth to a friend. We don’t buy organic unless it’s cheaper. I coupon, stock up at rock bottom prices and meal plan.
We now have 3 kids. I quit my job when my middle child was 15 months old. Since then we had our third. We’re a two car family now by necessity but they’re both fully paid for.
My DH is the sole income and it’s not a huge one. By living a simple life, it can be done.
Carolynn @mylittlebitoflife.com says
I wrote a blog post about this same topic. I agree that getting on a budget is key. There were also other obstacles that I hadn’t expected that I talk about in my blog post!
http://mylittlebitoflife.com/?p=5322
Mrs V. says
Coming from a one income household, this post is an added confirmation that we are on the right track. I too have stop working when I gave birth and that was 2 years ago. Looking back, it was not as organized as Kemi but we were able to save enough to not live pay check to pay check. Thank you and more power.
Hope says
Question: If you could not have made it without giving up one more thing what would you do? Would you give up tithing? What percent of income do you tithe?
Nora@The Dollar Hollering Homemaker says
We shoot for 10%. Although, that doesn’t always happen. I don’t think that you should go into debt to tithe. However, if you are going out to eat, buying things you don’t need. etc and not tithing- well that’s between you and God:)
When money is tight we try to give more of our time and talent. Also, our parish has a monthly food drive so I try to shop sales and donate the best stuff that we can. Although, I don’t donate “junk” food, that I wouldn’t feed my own family. As a Catholic, I know that we are called to give the best of what we have to those in need not just the “leftovers.” In our home, we will eat beans and rice more often so that we can give more to the poor.
Kemi Quinn says
Answer: Hi Hope. No we would not have given up tithing. Not an option. I’ll just say a bit more than 10%.
If we had to have cut one more thing we would have probably looked at the cell phones and the landline. Those two bills still irritate me but we use them so we pay for them.
When I look back we really didn’t give up much of anything. Staying at home cut a few bills in and of itself. Commuting costs, work attire, etc.
If we had not been able to make it I probably would have been more focused on looking for work at home solutions. Like I said I make a little working online but much of that goes to charity.
My friends and family are pretty talented and crafty so I have seen good incomes come from Etsy, eBay, contract work, etc. I probably would have really focused on one of those areas.
When you lay it all on the table you never know what you can come up with.
Jennifer says
Love this post. It’s not easy living on one income but I will ditto the comment that we are blessed as well. 🙂
The Prudent Homemaker says
We’ve always been a one-income family, but we had our income cut 75% for the last 5 years. So, to answer your question, yes, I know we can do it, because we’ve done it.
We don’t eat out, we’re a one-income family, I don’t have a cell phone, and we don’t take vacations. I make gifts for birthdays and Christmas.
I don’t anticipate that our income will always be at the same amount; at some point, as the market changes, so will our income. We’ve learned to do without a lot and even to thrive in our situation.
Sam says
I am always encouraged when I read these stories of those who prioritize their incomes in order to meet their goals. While we don’t have the desire to live on one income, it is encouraging to see how others sacrifice in order to make their dreams a reality.
I am going to ask something and I hope that it doesn’t come off as critical. I’m a Dave Ramsey fan, as I know many are on this site. When people call into the show that have cut their budget as much as possible, he often says they have an income problem. Have you ever addressed that on your site? I am thinking of the commenter above who has cut down to the minimum but is hardly making it. I don’t doubt for a second that God will provide for her, especially since she is being incredibly resourceful at using a swing shift in order to make her new situation work best for her family. But, I see a lot of articles that address cutting, cutting, cutting the budget but not a ton of posts on how to generate a good amount of extra income.
Again, I know that you’ve had posts talk about blogging, virtual assisting, swagbucks, etc; but I can’t imagine those generate very much money for the average person. I’d love to see some guests posts on how families/women/moms got ahead financially by significantly increasing their income. How did they go from “starving to death” in Dave speak, to producing a healthy amount of income to meet/exceed their financial needs? I’d love to hear about people that did night school, certificate programs, or other ways that the average person could greatly improve their financial situation.
Crystal says
I’ve done a few series on this, including my own journey to becoming a work-at-home mom:
https://moneysavingmom.com/2009/10/becoming-a-workathome-mom-its-work.html
You might also check out these 31 Ways — some of which could become very viable (and significant) streams of income:
https://moneysavingmom.com/31-ways-to-earn-extra-cash-before-christmas
There are more options here, too:
https://moneysavingmom.com/downloads/income-earning-ideas
{And yes, you CAN make a full-time income from blogging or being a virtual assistant — it just takes a lot of time, effort, perseverance, and creativity, but I know many who have done it.}
Ashley_P says
Sam, thanks for thinking of me. 🙂
We looked into work from home options, and it just wouldn’t work with our situation. The place I work for even has a work-from-home option, but it came with a significant pay cut, more inconvenient hours, and a zero-tolerance noise policy… not easy regulations to manage when you have a newborn in the house and no help to watch him.
I don’t doubt a lot of people can and have been successful in working from home and generating extra income, and Crystal’s articles were extremely helpful to me in researching my options. Ultimately, they just wouldn’t have worked out for us.
I am considering making a bit of extra cash on the side as a tutor, since I did it in high school and college to help pay tuition. The summer months provide ample opportunity to help kids get ready for the next school year and prep high schoolers for their SATs without the stress on them already being n class for 7+ hours a day. I’ll be asking my friends if any of their kids need a little boost this summer. It won’t get me much, but hey, a tank of gas is a tank of gas.
A Mom says
When my husband lost his job, I let our neighbors know that we were “making it” (we were), but that we were cutting way back on everything. As the year wore on (that’s a story in itself), I started watching a few “extra” kids before and after school.
One of the first moms who asked me (she’s a neighbor), said, “I’m sure you wouldn’t be interested, but…”
We’re in an affluent suburb, and people assumed I wouldn’t be “interested” in things like babysitting and cleaning houses…I started spreading the word that if someone needed childcare before or after school, I’d be happy to help out. Within a month I was earning $700 / month.
I know it’s not for everyone, but it sure got us through a rough time. And I love having a few “extras” at my house anyway…now I tuck that money into a savings account, grateful to God for his provision during a really difficult time!
Kristy @ Little Natural Cottage says
We started out eleven years ago as a one-income family, which helped keep budgeting on the forefront. 🙂 Today, we have 5 children, my husband is a pastor, and the only debt we have is our home. Living off one income hasn’t always been easy but it is worth it!
Amanda says
My husband and I life on his income alone as well. We’ve been married 2.5 years, and I’m thankful for his insight in starting us out on only 1 income. We hope to have children (have been trying for more than a year now) and I hope to stay home. But honestly, even if we don’t have children, I think we’ll continue on one income. It’s awesome to watch our savings grow with all but the tithe on my salary going into savings. We were able to purchase his latest car with cash, and have enough to move forward with a major home improvement. We also pay more on our mortgage each month than we need to so that we’re farther ahead when we do have children. I realize we are very blessed to be able to do this and not everyone can, but it has been great for us.
Kalyn Brooke says
My husband and I live on one income (no kids), and it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. I’m not a huge clothing shopper, but we do eat out a lot more than we should.
In the next few weeks, I’m going to be starting a No Eating Out Challenge. More to help give myself the accountability. 🙂
Jamie Rohrbaugh says
Hi Kemi, thanks for sharing your story. It’s really inspiring! My DH and I are looking at ways to cut back to one income too. We haven’t found the solution yet, but maybe we can get to where I could work only part-time. Baby hasn’t come along yet, so we’ll see. 🙂
Kemi Quinn says
Hi Jamie! You’re very welcome. I really did not see it as a possibility when my husband suggested it. I’m amazed at how it has all come together.
Jerilyn says
We’ve never had 2 incomes! We’ve either had just 1 or 2 part-time jobs (when we were in college). We’ve discussed having only one car (especially since our new to us car, that we are still paying on, has had major issues and several major repairs.) but that would mean either using our car that is paid off, but not big enough for all 3 car seats, or selling the car we outright own to have a car that fits us all comfortably- also a gas guzzler, so we would be paying more in gas every month. We decided to suck it up, and throw everything we’ve got at our loan (while learning patience along the way 🙂 and get it paid off as quick as we can.
Ashley_P says
Could we live on one income? No way unless God intervenes!
When we found out I was expecting our first, we looked at the budget. We’d already cut out every “extra” we could think of: dining out happened once every 3 months or so, and it was usually with friends at a fast food place, we only had 1 car between us, 1 cell phone between us, no cable, no landline, living in a 1 bedroom apartment, until recently no health or life insurance, we shopped in bulk and took all our meals to work. We even got jobs at the same location to save on gas! All my clothes are second-hand thanks to the generosity of the people who have outgrown them. We took vacations once a year, but almost always in the car (we did fly to Vegas for a friend’s wedding one year. Everything else has been a road trip.)
Even with all that stuff cut out, if I had quit my job, we would have been about $400-$600 short of paying for the essentials (including our tithe and missions giving).
With little JJ due in only 8 short weeks, we came up with the only plan that has any chance of working: split shifts. We can’t afford a day-care, and I can’t rely on my parents to babysit our son. So, I’ll work morning and hubby will work nights. (We already work nights anyway, so it won’t be much of an adjustment for him.) That way, one of us is always home with the baby. We can still homeschool this way too. Hubby is better in some subjects than I am, so he can teach the subjects he knows best in the morning while he’s home, and I can teach the ones I know best in the afternoon when I’m home.
It’s not going to be easy. And being apart 18 hours a day, 5 days a week will likely be a huge strain on our marriage. But unless God does something, its the only workable solution we have.
Kemi Quinn says
Ashley I will be praying for God’s intervention for you. Hang in there. I know only too well about tough times. He is a God of miracles and bless you for your commitment to Him and to your family.
Ashley_P says
Thanks, Kemi. We’re actually in the process of buying our first home. (God willing we will close tomorrow, but the bank is being stupid asking for a lot of last minute things.)
We’ll be paying slightly less than we were on the apartment with the mortgage, taxes, and insurance combined (not enough to make a dent, but every little bit helps.) so even though we’ll be paying the same amount, we’ll have 3 extra bedrooms, a back yard, and won’t have to fight for a parking space, so that’s a plus. And our payments won’t go up every year like our rent does.
We get 50 cent raises every year, and we work tons of overtime to put as much into savings as we can. But with the baby, we’ll have more expenses too. Adding him to the insurance will probably be the biggest. We plan on using both disposable and cloth diapers (disposables for out of the house and cloth for when we’re home) to help save money as well as making our own baby food thanks to the food processor I got for Christmas last year.
With our new back yard, we’ll also be trying our hand at gardening to try and offset some grocery costs.
But, being separated, we’ll have to get another cell phone, and we’ll also have to have a landline again since the alarm system in the house requires one to work.
It’s just a season, and one God’s going to have to get us through. He’s been faithful so far in everything. He’ll continue being faithful, I have no doubt.
Blessings on all your journeys as well.
Nora@The Dollar Hollering Homemaker says
Ashley, I said a prayer for you and your family:)
One thing to consider when buying a house is that property taxes and insurance do go up pretty regularly. Plus you are responsible for your own household repairs.
As for diapers, you can make a pre-fold out of a tee-shirt, and can be a cheaper way to cloth diaper.
Ashley_P says
Thanks for the tip, Nora.
In our area, the property tax rate is pretty stable, so we’re not worried about it increasing, at least, not by much.
The insurance…we’ll have to wait and see on that one. We’re in South Florida, and after Hurricane Wilma came through in 2005, a lot of insurance companies packed up and left the state. We had a hard time finding anyone to insure us at all.
I’ll keep the T-shirt thing in mind. I’m also expecting some cloth diapers at my baby shower, since I registered for them and all my friends know my plans on using them.
And thanks for the prayers. We need all we can get.
Blessings!
Nora@The Dollar Hollering Homemaker says
Yikes, i’m sure your insurance costs are crazy. If you can, shop around every 3 years. We were able to save a bit on insurance costs by switching to another company.
The t-shirt trick is great to have in the back of your mind for when all your cloth diaper are dirty and there is no money for disposables:) I hope you get a lot of cloth diapers for your baby shower. I would be sure to ask for a few different brands, if you can. You never know what kind you will like….
As for having to get a second cell phone. Have you considered getting ooma for home phone service? It’s a bit of a cost up front but after that it’s only $4 a month. When we got rid of our cell phone plan, we moved to ooma and a pre-paid for whoever needs it. I also keep an old cell phone charged to dial 911 in case the power goes out. We live in tornado country so we need something for power outages.
Good luck:)
Ashley_P says
So far, they’re not “crazy” per se. A bit higher than we thought we’d have to pay (around $3,000 for the year) but manageable.
As far as shopping around every 3 years, as I said, a lot of insurance companies refuse to insure Florida anymore since Wilma. State Farm, Nationwide, pretty much everyone pulled outta here about 7 years ago, and most haven’t come back. We might not have another insurance company to switch to, and even if we did, odds are, the rate would be about the same. If we can have a long enough time span without hurricanes, some of the companies may start coming back. But otherwise… we’re at the mercy of whoever is still here.
I’ve never heard of Ooma before. Our current cell phone plan only charges $10.month to add a second line, and because we work for a global software company which shall remain nameless, we can get discounts on the actual phone itself. Besides, we’re due for an upgrade next month, so we might trade in hubby’s smart phone for 2 more basic phones instead of one better one.
We also have to have a traditional landline for the security system in our new home. It’s required by the actual system to work. Normally, I wouldn’t pay for a security service. But being home, by myself, with a baby, until 2 AM, in a new neighborhood where we don’t know anyone… yeah. I’ll pay the $30/month for the alarm in this case. 🙂
Be safe in tornado country! Hubby is from Missouri and knows a thing or two about twisters. It’s one reason I refuse to move back to Missouri with him. At least with hurricanes, I have 3 days to get out of the way. Tornados have pretty much no warning. Too scary for me.
Christy says
Make sure you set aside some cash for property maintenance. Being a homeowner has hidden costs, because things break. One year, we had to take care of a burst pipe, the heating system, and a rodent problem all at once, and the costs were well into the thousands. Set aside $50-$75 a month in a separate account, so you’re prepared for the big things.
Ashley_P says
Thanks, Christy.
We’re all about having savings for stuff like that, It’s part of why I need to work instead of staying home. I can’t live without socking away savings every month for life’s little “oopsies”. I’m all too familiar with having to fix stuff around the house and how much it can cost! The A/C unit blew on my grandmother’s house once. In the middle of SUMMER! IN FLORIDA!!! Cost a couple grand to get it fixed, but it had to be done.
Valentine E. says
I completely agree that you need a security alarm, especially when you are by yourself! However, $30/monthis pricey!! I listen daily to a famous consumer advocate on the radio and he often stresses that a fair price is $15-$20. Sign up with a company that doesn’t require a contract-they are usually more customer-oriented. Why force you in a contract if you like them? My family uses SimpliSafe since 2010 and we really like their company and product. You have to pay for the material upfront, but it requires NO landline, NO contract, you can take it with you when you move, and can run on battery power for several days, so its definitely helpful in case of a storm that tears down phone/power lines (something I found out the hard way with our previous traditional alarm system when I was home by myself for a week after a storm ran through my city and the line was cut-the alarm itself would ring in the house, phew!, but it was not connected to the police or anything. Good thing I didn’t know that until the whole thing was working again!). Super easy to install in less that 5 min. The cost? $15/month! That’s already a $15 saving, plus your $10 landline fee- you’ll pay the upfront costs in just a few months. If you’re already in a contract, see when your time is up and follow their rules exactly to get out of it properly. Hope this helps! I felt like i had to mention this little piece since it seems like saving $25/month would mean a great deal for you guys 🙂 SimpliSafe.com has the info. As for the rest, I wish you lots of success and perseverance!
Kemi Quinn says
You’re welcome Ashley. Praying it all works out.
Angela says
My husband and I worked split shifts when our kids were younger and it worked out great! I work in healthcare and have met many people over the years who do the same thing. It’s all about doing what’s best for YOUR family.
Christy says
Not trying to be a Debbie Downer, but friends of ours did this for about 6 months after their child was born. It became a strain because they never had any family time together. Prayers for intervention for you and all in situations like this!
Darcel says
Ashley. Consider a licensed home daycare. I did this the first decade of our three little ones and now you can make way more money. I worked opposite nites of my husband after our last baby was born including doing daycare as my dad died without life insurance and it took me 19 months to pay my portion of the funeral bill as we also had a new baby bill. Definitely some of the worst 19 months of our nearly 34 yeTs of marriage. Just sharing this did NOT work for us!!!!! Daycare yes opposite shifts no and I’ve heard similar experiences from others. Blessings in your plans whatever they may be’?
Sarah says
This is an excellent post and topic. My advice to new graduates and newlyweds this spring is to never live on two incomes. It’s fine to have two incomes, just don’t live on them. Obviously this advice doesn’t help the intended audience – those who are already living on a dual income – but if you’re planning to go to one income…live like you have one income.
Dh and I have been so glad that we have lived on one income over the last decade. And even though we now know that we will not be able to add to our family, we would not change what we have done. We’ve been blessed. We’ve been able to bless others. We have flexibility to choose to do something new and different.
And when people say derisively, “yeah,well, you’re DINKs”. I roll my eyes and say to myself, “meh, we certainly don’t have to live like it”.
Theresa says
I so agree with you Sarah! We lived on two incomes for the first 2 years of our marriage, then we added twins and I stayed home. How I wish we knew we could have lived off of just one income while working! After the birth of our twins, I found MSM and then we also went through Financial Peace. Amazing that we can live with only my husband’s income, support two more bodies, and still have some to put towards savings each month. This is definately a piece of advice I’ll be passing onto our kids as they grow and get married—-far off yet!
Beth says
I will be giving this same advice to anyone who will listen! Oh, how I wish my husband and I had done the same, instead of living off of 2 incomes immediately after being married. It would have made things a lot easier….
But God has blessed us; we discovered Dave Ramsey, and my husband has been given several promotions over the last 3 years, and this has provided our family the ability for me to quit my full time job (with FREE medical insurance!!!) SAH with our 4 boys. Living on one income is a bit limiting at times, but there is something so amazingly FREEING about it at the same time!
Stephanie says
We actually began our marriage this way and are so happy we did. This wasn’t intentional, it just worked out that we spent the equivalent of what I earned and were able to save or pay off loans in the same amount my husband made. This was true even though he was making double what I made. This meant that when we moved and he got a pay increase while I stopped working, we didn’t notice it as much. I really would recommend any couple planning to live off one income to do so from the beginning. Not only that, but try to live off the lower of two incomes, if there are two. Use the extra to pay off loans or save. This makes the transition so much easier. It also helps in case there is a lay off. (With our first house I realized that we could not live off what I was making if my husband lost his job. Our house payment just took up way too much of our budget.)
The financial goal that we both strongly agreed on when we first got married was to pay off our loans as quickly as possible. Within four years we had about $50,000 paid off and were only a few months shy of paying off our $80,000 duplex (the smaller mortgage house we bought after our first move a few years into the marriage) when my husband changed jobs. We moved again, bought a slightly larger house, got a small mortgage and again began to focus intently on paying it off. It took us about two years but it finally got paid off (without me working).
All of this was possible because we never acted like we had two incomes. We always acted like we had one.