Can I be really honest with you? My heart’s been heavy this December.
I usually love the Christmas season. I love the smells, the music, the food, the time with family and friends, the special moments and memories.
But this year? My heart feels burdened.
There are so many people around me who are going through hard things… friends who are grieving the loss of a child, friends who have experienced deep physical and emotional pain this past year, friends who are struggling in their marriage, friends who are struggling financially, friends who are grieving big losses… and on and on the list goes.
I just want to fix it all and take it all away so that Christmas can be joyful and cheerful and wonderful — instead of painful and hurtful.
But I can’t take away the pain. I can’t replace what was lost. I can’t fix someone else’s marriage. I can’t heal someone else’s wounded relationship. I can’t wave a magic wand and solve someone’s unemployment struggles.
So what can I do? I can pray. I can listen. I can encourage. I can go out of my way to show that I care.
I can give the gift of myself.
And that’s the gift that most are longing for this Christmas — to know that they aren’t alone. That they are loved. That they are seen. That they are cared about. That, in the midst of all of the festivities and celebrations, their pain and hurt and heartache is not forgotten.
So my Christmas challenge for all of you today is this: In the middle of the merry-making, the carol-singing, the cookie-decorating, the present-giving, and the gift-unwrapping, look around and notice that person who is hurting and grieving.
The widow across the street. The woman holding the tattered sign on the side of the road. Your aunt sitting across the table from you at Christmas dinner.
Look into her eyes. Ask her how she’s doing. Let her know — by your words and actions — that she isn’t forgotten. That she is seen. And most importantly, that she is loved.
Give the gift of yourself this Christmas. It’s the greatest gift you have to offer.
P.S. If you are struggling and hurting and discouraged this Christmas, I’d love to pray for you. Can you leave a comment on this post or send me an email (crystal @ moneysavingmom.com) so I can pray for you? I would be honored to have the opportunity to do so.
And my Daddy passed two years ago on the 28th.
My daughter, granddaughter, and I would appreciate any prayers we could get. Living on $785 a month SS disability, daughter’s place of employment shut down and she has been unable to find a job, hot water heater rusted out and ruined a lot of stuff in the garage, gas shut off because I can’t pay the bill, main water pipe under my house sprung a leak, car insurance cancelled… out of bread, milk… I could go on, but y’all get the idea. I’m overwhelmed. Thank you.
Thank you Crystal for your encouragement. As much as I try to keep Christmas simple and joyful my mom is very sick and discouraged with her downhill prognosis. I cannot control her disease or her attitude about it but I can pray and love on her. Please pray for her and our family.
My 9 year old daughter and I are in a domestic violence shelter this year. I lost my full time employment and am struggling to believe God has a way for us to get out and have our own, peaceful and joy-filled home. I spent the day laying in bed; the shelter was very generous and provided gifts. Praise God, my daughter enjoyed the day, playing with her new toys and the other children. My family called and hoped we “are having a good Christmas”. It frustrates me that no one has offered to help, offers empathy or at the very least be a listening ear; instead I talk with them and they tell me what I can buy their kids for gifts; my Mom asks if I’m buying my child a computer this year (really??!) and I hear about how difficult things are for them, with troubles like a stove not working properly or too busy of a schedule. I can’t help but feel these pale in comparison to our problems yet I do know that there are plenty of other people who have it so much worse.
My faith has always been so strong and absolute but I’m having some trouble this time. I know satan uses depression and despair to steal our joy from our Father but what I know intellectually isn’t translating to my heart and emotions this year.
I am so sorry to hear about your difficult experiences. I have a rough relationship with many of my family due in part to them not accepting some of the decisions I have made (which I made for my personal life through much prayer). My Christmas was difficult due to rough relationships this year. I am praying for physical provision for you and your daughter as you navigate the shelter and seek employment, and for wisdom as you communicate with your family. May God give you and your daughter peace and comfort during this difficult time.
Crystal, thank you for this post. I was feeling very overwhelmed today. Letting the “small things” get to me. After reading this post, I had to ask God to forgive me. I have also prayed for those listed. Since my parents death, I too know the pain many are suffering this time of year. Praying for God’s comfort for the families in need.
I have found myself feeling the same. So many friends hurting, lonely, missing loved ones. I am praying for them and those on this list. May God bless you in your struggle.
My request is for my dad. He is currently in surgery to have a blood clot in his leg removed. After surgery he will have an open wound for two weeks. My mom is unable to take care of herself. My dad has been he primary caregiver. Thank you for your prayers for a successful surgery and that we can take care of both of parents during the recovery.
Praying for your dad and mom, Brenda.
My brother lost his 16 year daughter Morgan McAlexander was in a freak car accident December 11, 2014 and indured excessive brain damage. The community, family, and strangers prayed, she lived for 6 months before her body weakened and she passed July 3, 2015. My brother and sister-in-law have amazing faith and have turned Morgan’s face book page into a global prayer page. Morgan’s story is amazing! She brought families and communities closer together and closer to God. Her Facebook page is Pray for Morgan Rae.
Thank you so much for sharing! And I’m so very sorry! I just prayed for you and for your brother and his family.
My request is not for myself but for my aunt. Her name is Bonnie and her husband had a really bad stroke a couple years ago. He was only 46 when it happened and he has not been able to return to work even now. We had a chat at Christmas dinner yesterday and (praise God!) she opened up a bit. She’s a vey private person so this was a big deal. Anyway, she’s really struggling with a lot of stuff and any prayers you can offer for her are greatly appreciated.
Thank you!
I just prayed for your Aunt Bonnie. I can’t imagine how hard that must be for her.
Exactly the way I feel this year. Three huge loses in our family this year. My father in law, mother in law 50 days after him and then my dad 2 days after her. Three deaths within 52 days!!! We were all so close. I know I very blessed and love but the HURT is real this year and there is know hiding it.
Oh, Lori! I am so, so sorry! I just prayed for you.
We lost our full of life 12 year old daughter in a freak accident last February. I have no desire for joy and each day it is a challenge to just be.
I am so very, very sorry, Keem! I can’t even imagine. My heart breaks for you. I just prayed for you.
I feel the same way this Christmas. My mom died last spring and this was the first Christmas we didn’t go to her house and see my side of the family. I have also spent almost all year dealing with her estate. I think that part of my problem is that I am just overly tired. Everything going on has negatively affected my marriage too.
I’m so sorry, Heather! I just prayed for you.
I am struggling to enjoy this time of year as my father passed away yesterday on Christmas Eve, he was my best friend. Please pray for my family’s loss.
I am so sorry! I just prayed for you and your family, Tracy!
Crystal,
Thank you for recognizing the blessing and difficulty with the Holiday season. There is much that weighs heavy on my heart tonight. My husband lost his job the day that I started my new full-time job. The Lord opened one door and closed another. I have a challenging physical condition which makes things extra challenging.
Blessing to each and everyone of you here.
I’m so sorry, Christal. Praying for you and your husband right now.
My son had twin boys on December 9th.They both were born without a brain.We lost one on Christmas Eve the other one can go at anytime.Our family is need of prayers.Thanks Angie
Oh, Angie! I’m so sorry! Praying for you and your son and your whole family.
Thank you, Crystal, for your much needed words of comfort. My sisters and I lost our brother earlier this year and are struggling this Christmas. I am sharing this post with them.
I’m so sorry, Favi. Praying for you and your sisters today.
We are having a difficult holiday season also. As I read through the comments, I realized that most of us have concerns & at least know or love people with problems/concerns.
So, I have been trying to give myself a break, to be “good enough”. I still feel guilty but self-talking helps. It is difficult to celebrate when you feel exhausted & sad. I have to put one foot in front of the the other & try to enjoy the moment and the process! Wishing people a merry Christmas & smiling helps. People usually always smile & respond. I guess the old sdying applies–fake it til you make it!!! LOL!!!
I’m so sorry, Christine. Praying for rest and joy for you.
Our family experienced great loss this year. My sister died from a brain tumor in July & left behind her 2 children. They have gone to live with their biological father. Please pray for the children & my parents. As my mom has mentioned many times, losing a child is the hardest thing they have faced even if she was an adult with a family of her own.
I am so sorry, Elaine. Praying for comfort for you and your family.
I am writing to ask for collective prayers for my friend Cindy, her husband Bruce and their daughter Sara. They lost their son/brother Steven (18) in October and they have been really struggling. I pray for them almost constantly, but I feel like if others join me, God will hear and ease their pain.
Thank you all and Merry Christmas!
Praying for your friends, Cindy, Bruce, and Sara. I can’t even imagine the pain they are going through.
Crystal, thank you for the kind post. I can’t seem to stop crying now. I always feel whatever I am dealing with is not as bad as what others are struggling through so I tend to not share because I feel selfish. Even when I suffered two miscarriages in one year, several years ago. Last month my husband was hit by a car while on his motorcycle. He has had 2 surgeries in 3 weeks and has been unable to work since Thanksgiving. The surgeries have gone well and he seems to be healing great but for some reason I feel scared. Maybe just because I am tired. Thanks for understanding how tough the holidays can be. God bless you Crystal.
I am so sorry, Sande. My heart hurts for you. I just prayed for comfort and encouragement for you today.
Crystal, thanks for addressing the loneliness and heartache of Christmas that so many people don’t want to bring up.
As I read through the comments, my heart ached for each and every one of you. I can empathize: this is the first Christmas in 30 years I won’t be seeing my parents or grandma and this holiday season just feels “off.”
I wish I could give each of you a big hug! You’ll all be in my prayers tonight.
I’m so sorry, Liz! I can’t imagine how hard that would be. I just prayed for comfort for you.
My husband left our 2 sons and myself this past March. I found out later he has a girlfriend, possibly before he left. I haven’t confronted him yet, I’m waiting for the divorce to be finalized. I’ve cried more this year than ever. I barely decorated for Christmas but tried to be happy for my sons. I am so grateful for my salvation and that I know Jesus yet I don’t have any hope for the future. You are so sweet to pray for others who are hurting. Thank you.
Dearest Kim,
I say a special prayer in my heart for you now. You have been so brave and strong for your boys. I can hear the struggle in your words. Please know you are not alone and may Jesus lift you up as only He can. God Bless you and your family.
Kim: My heart is hurting so much for you. I just want you to know that you are loved… Praying for you today and for your boys.
This year has been so hard on us. Husband lost his job of 14 yrs out of nowhere, it took 4 mths before he got a new one, his new income is over half less than previous job. Plus marriage issues that have gone on since first married, for 12 yrs. But with everything that has happened this year, things have gotten so much worse. Ive been trying to find the courage to leave for the past couple years, so I can give my children a better life. Im hoping this next year everything can improve on all levels. I am hoping this next year I can finally get enough strength to say enough is enough. So I could use prayers. Usually this time of year I am super happy, filled with excitement and joy. But this christmas, im depressed, sad and dont have the christmas spirit whatsoever.
{Hugs!} I’m so sorry, Jess! Praying for courage and comfort for you today.
Great post! Hits the nail on the head for me. I want to have a magical Christmas (we usually do), but I have struggled so much. My 14 year old son died in August and the only thing I feel is my grief and just missing his presence. It’s so obvious he’s not here and it’s so overwhelming! I know he’s in a better place so my grief is for me and my other 5 children. Any prayers would be appreciated!
Donna: I’m so sorry! My heart hurts so much for you. I just prayed for comfort for you.
Hi Crystal, I humbly ask that you and whomever reads this comment pray for my husband’s aunt & uncle and their family, as they lost their 21 year old wonderful, beautiful, incredible son in an auto accident just 1 month ago… The power of prayer is such a gift, thank you.
Oh! I can’t even imagine! Praying for them today!
We just found out my grandmother has stage 3 cancer. She has been given one year or less to live. This will likely be our last Christmas with her. It is breaking my heart.
Jamie: I just prayed for comfort for you. I’m so sorry! 🙁
It’s sweet, but I don’t know how this will help tonight. It is Christmas Eve and I am the loneliest I have ever been. I don’t even know if I have a boyfriend anymore. How can I not know one way or another Sounds weird, huh. But, it’s a great case of ghosting after being together for months. Now nothing. Especially since only last week we were making plans. But, friends have their lives. My children are with my ex. I have a cat. And, I am miserable.
I am so very sorry, Lisa. Praying for encouragement for you today.
My husband was diagnosed with a serious form of cancer last December and lost his battle after 7 months. Our first date was just before Christmas 17 years ago, and we officially started dating Christmas day that year. We have two young kids. Since he passed, my mother has been in the hospital twice, then a nursing home for follow up care. She is doing thankfully better.
I’ve kept things simple, no tree, kids decorated a little, no sending cards, no stressful traveling and kept gifts very minimal but meaningful. Ordered a healthy prepared meal, rather than trying to cook the same elaborate meal my husband always made. Taken the kids, when not sick, to do several fun but inexpensive activities.
We all miss him terribly, and it’s hard this first season with him gone. The kids are still excited for tomorrow. I haven’t wanted to listen to the Christmas music a local christian station is currently playing nonstop, and can’t wait until the regular worship music returns. I still feel in a daze, with raw emotional moments and finding parenting single is not easy.
I’m so sorry, Jill! I can’t imagine how heartbreaking this must be. My heart hurts for you. I just prayed for encouragement and strength and hope for you.
My husband was diagnosed with a serious form of cancer last December and lost his battle after 7 months. Our first date was just before Christmas 17 years ago, and we officially started dating Christmas day that year. We have two young kids. Since he passed, my mother has been in the hospital twice, then a nursing home for follow up care. She is doing thankfully better.
I’ve kept things simple, no tree, kids decorated a little, no sending cards, no stressful traveling and kept gifts very minimal but meaningful. Ordered a healthy prepared meal, rather than trying to cook the same elaborate meal my husband always made. Taken the kids, when not sick, to do several fun but inexpensive activities.
We all miss him terribly, and it’s hard this first season with him gone. The kids are still excited for tomorrow. I haven’t wanted to listen to the Christmas music a local christian station is currently playing nonstop, and can’t wait until the regular worship music returns. I still feel in a daze, with raw emotional moments and finding parenting single is not easy.
Jill, I’m just a fellow reader of MSM but I came across your comment in the midst of many that are here. Maybe because I have 2 young kids myself, who also got colds this month. Maybe because one of my greatest fears is losing my husband someday (he doesn’t have any illness and our relationship is fine, it’s just a fear that passes through my mind now and then). Maybe because my heart just hurts for you and I wanted to let you know. Please know that I just prayed for you. May God give you His hope to press on even when you don’t feel like getting up each morning or doing anything. Since you were anxious for the regular worship music to come back, my hope is that you are also a follower and lover of Christ. If your husband was too, please try to grasp as much as possible the hope that there is knowing that you’ll see him again one day. *hugs*
To all who commented here – know that one more person is praying for you tonight and tomorrow. God sees you and cares for you, even when you can’t seem to feel Him.
I too have felt a heaviness this Christmas season and wasn’t able to put a finger on it – only that I was aware of so much sorrow and heaviness in the lives of friends & others, known and unknown. A cousin whose husband was helping to push a disabled car off of the interstate in the middle of the night who was then hit by a car himself, amputating his leg. He went home this week, after being in the hospital since Thanksgiving weekend. A close friend of ours who drowned this summer – I know his wife is dreading this season. So many many more who are without family.
Jesus came to be our Saviour – I pray you can find Him in the middle of your pain.
This is beautiful, Starla. Thank you so much for sharing. And I just prayed for hope and encouragement for you.
I read your post and was crying through the whole thing. I just turned 50 and this is the worst Christmas of my life. I feel a bit embarrassed to post this after reading some of the others. I am not as bad off as many others I know, but I cant help feeling so lonely and horrible. I just found out my husband of 11years wants to leave me for another woman. My heart is being torn out and I have no friends to talk to. I feel so alone, I don’t eat for days at a time, and today I had to entertain his family for Christmas and pretend nothing is wrong.
I am so, so, so sorry, Cheryl. My heart just hurts for you and for the pain you are going through. I just prayed for comfort and courage for you in the middle of such a difficult time.
Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers. Yesterday was so hard as I was without him most of the day while he went to visit friends without me. I had been planning a day together today to try to woo him but he decided he would rather go spend the day with his boys knowing I had plans. And he is going to see “her” tomorrow and again on New Years Eve leaving me all alone. I have tried so hard to win him back, and last night I came out and asked him if there is any chance at all for a reconciliation and he said flat out “no”. Merry Christmas to me.
I need prayers for my newborn grandson. He is on a ventilator because he was born with spinabifida. Following his birth he immediately had a very long surger to close his spine. He is on a ventilator because his vocal cords are paralyzed so he cannot breathe on his own, swallow or cry. He is the most beautiful little baby boy I’ve ever seen and I fell in love with him the minute I saw him. Please pray for his mommy, daddy, and this precious little angel. I know that God is going to send us a miracle soon.?????
Praying for your grandson, Cynthia, and for you and for his parents. {Hugs!}
I really can’t go into details but I really need a lot of prayer right now. Thank you!
Praying for you, Crystal.
Thanks for this great post. I’m going to make sure and really look around at the people tonight at our Christmas Eve service and see who needs to know they’re loved.
I love this!
Could you please pray for my friends Robin and Alex, who have suffered painful losses in their quest to have a child, and for my Aunty Amy, who was recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer? Thank you.
Praying for both Robin & Alex and your Aunt Amy.
Thank you, Crystal. Bless you!
Crystal, thank you so much for this post. My family is hurting this year. I found out on Dec. 8 that my daughter was being sexually abused by her grandmother while at visitation with her father. This has been going on since we divorced two years ago. We have spent the last two weeks in police stations, court houses, and the children’s advocacy center. I am going to see family tonight to celebrate Christmas with a restraining order in my purse. God is good, and I’m thankful for his constant love for us. It’s just hard to pretend that things are ok this Christmas.
I am so sorry! I can’t even imagine how stressful and hard and heartbreaking this would be. Praying for you right now.
My husband of 26 years died June 11. He took his own life. I found him by my car. This has been the worst time of my life. Lost my house. Left Ga. to come back to Texas to spend Christmas with my daughter and family.
Camilla, I am so, so sorry. I cannot imagine. Hugs and prayers to you.
Thanks! I need to get it together and stop blaming myself for what happened
Omg I’m so sorry! I’m in GA as well! Praying for you during this time!
Oh Camilla!!! I am so, so sorry! I cannot imagine. Please, please do not blame or shame yourself for what happened. I wish I could come hug you in person and tell you that you are loved, you are enough… My heart hurts for you and I’m praying for you.
I cannot even imagine, Camilla! I am so very sorry. My heart hurts for you and I’m praying for you today.
Camilla, I am so sorry for your loss. My brother took his own life in 2013. Each year gets a little better. You get through it, but you never get over it. I am praying for you. God has already given you the strength and courage you need or you would have never made it this far. Keep holding on. There will always be sadness in the background, but you have so many smiles and much happiness to come. Take care.
So sorry about your brother. My husband was Bio Polar it didn’t show up until he was 61 after he quit work.
Thank you Crystal! This post was such an encouragement! I’m new to blogging and it’s funny because, just the other day I posted something along the same line. Every year I struggle with depression and feel discouraged at Christmas time. Sure, I love all the things that go along with this special time of year, but deep down inside, I feel lonely, anxious, and discouraged. I tend to focus on my circumstances instead of focusing on the things that really matter most (family, friends, faith). This year, I said to myself, that’s enough! The Lord laid it on my heart to write about having a heart of full of gratitude. Yes, there are many hurting people out here and we need to give of ourselves. Thanks for taking the time to make yourself available to be a blessing to those hurting. Your labor of love will not go unnoticed. Have a wonderful Christmas!
Thank you so much for being a giver, Angela! I loved your comment!
Thank you, Crystal. So nicely written. We lost my mother-in-law unexpectedly this week. Lots of sadness and tears but we are staying positive so her four grandchild have a good Christmas. Love and prayers for all who are hurting.
I’m so sorry, Erin! Praying for comfort for you and your family.
This is the 1st year I haven’t decorated or played Christmas music, so I wouldn’t cry. It’s just me without any family & really no close friends. The last time I went to Christmas Eve service, I sat alone seeing all the families there, & cried through the entire service. I usually spend Christmas home alone crying. I’ve always wanted to invite a single over every year to be part of my family’s Christmas Celebration when I got married, but have never been married. When I’ve tried to invite other singles over, I’ve found I seem to be the only one without anyone. With financial & health issues, I’m feeling pretty down. Praise & worship music do help. I’d really appreciate prayer. Thank you.
Hello K:
You have my prayers!
This is what I want to tell you: Don’t give up. I had the worst of circumstances growing up – really, the very worst. I struggled with mental illness brought on by the abuse and I suffered horrible loneliness for years – and several times thought about killing myself. It seemed hopeless – for decades.
Fast forward: I find myself, in my later years, dumbfounded as to how my life has changed. Things have gotten tremendously better. While I can never forget what my life has been like and I am still terribly scarred from what happened, I now have many, many moments of meaning and feelings of gratitude. And times where I feel so content. And many times where I definitely am not lonely.
It has been said that “Coincidences are God’s way of remaining anonymous.” All I know is that I don’t usually read Money Saving Mom (though it’s excellent!). But a few minutes ago, needing to rest between tasks, I happened to grab my IPad and start reading this blog.
And I hardly ever read reader comments, but I happened to read yours.
And I felt the sudden urge to respond.
Tonight, if you are alone this Christmas Eve, think about coincidences, and unexpected messages. Think about the meaning of Christmas
and know that all eventually will be very well for you – even if it seems impossible. Especially if it seems impossible.
Merry Christmas.
Thank you so much.
K: My heart hurts for you and your loneliness. I wish you lived close so we could invite you over to our house. We love getting to spend time with singles and have some who just feel like family to us. Praying for you to find safe friends and people in your life this coming year.
{Also, for those who may be reading this comment, I just wanted to encourage you to look for a few singles in your area that you can sort of “adopt” as part of your family. There can be so much mutual blessing in this!}
For those who have lost loved ones this year, or are just missing those who left many years ago, may you be comforted.
BELLS ACROSS THE SNOW
Words: F. R. Havergal Source: J. F. Kinsey and John McPherson, eds.,
Echoes Of Glory For The Sunday School.
LaFayette, Indiana: The Echo Music Company, 1888.
O Christmas, Merry Christmas!
Is it really come again,
With its memories and greetings,
With its joy and with its pain?
There’s a minor in the carol,
And a shadow in the light,
And a spray of cypress twining
With the holly wreath to-night.
And the hush is never broken
By laughter light and low,
As we listen in the starlight
To the “bells across the snow.”
O Christmas, Merry Christmas!
‘Tis not so very long
Since other voices blended
With the carol and the song!
If we could but hear them singing
As they are singing now,
If we could but see the radiance
Of the crown on each dear brow;
There would be no sigh to smother,
No hidden tear to flow,
As we listen in the starlight
To the “bells across the snow.”
O Christmas, Merry Christmas!
This never more can be;
We cannot bring again the days
Of our unshadowed glee.
But Christmas, happy Christmas,
Sweet herald of good-will,
With holy songs of glory
Brings holy gladness still.
For peace and hope may brighten,
And patient love may glow,
As we listen in the starlight
To the “bells across the snow.”
Christmas in Heaven sung by Sarah Scheiber
https://www.youtube.com/embed/QroAdejZD4w
Crystal, YES. This is what we all need for Christmas – “Jesus with skin on.” We need it all year, but how much more at Christmas, when the lonely feels seem to be brought to the fore.
My heart goes out to each one of you and I will pray. I have been a caregiver for many years and am no stranger to hard times, and hard Christmases.
I don’t want to depress anyone further, but if you have a few moments to spare, watch and/or read this Christmas poem written by John Piper. It is painful, but I believe it will bless you as well.
http://www.desiringgod.org/poems/the-innkeeper
Thanks Crystal! I just left the kitchen thinking how upset my heart is and not really knowing why. I am usually very happy all the time. But this sadness just hit me. Would love if you added me to the list. And I will also pray for other commenters on this list.
I am blessed in that don’t have any major problems or things going on, but I have been feeling a heaviness this Christmas, too. I haven’t, personally, been able to put a finger on it, but it’s been there. Thank you for this post. It helps me to realize that maybe I’m not completely crazy to feel this way.
A tornado just devastated some cities in our state.
A family in Mississippi lost their seven year old child last night. My heart aches for this family.
My heart also is burdened also. I just told my husband so many heavy things in the lives of my friends this year – perhaps worse than any other year: Job loss, marriages breaking apart, potential serious health issues they await test results during the holidays, and a dieing mother of a dear friend who know not the Lord. My heart felt so heavy and burdened.
I helped a friend move out of her home on the eve of Christmas Eve… It is supposed to be a happy time…time spent with family and I was loading a laundry basket of her things into my auto…her husband helped me load her things. He was kicking her out… her and her 2 precious babies that they share sitting in car seats in my back seat as my daughter soothed and watched them while we loaded. He thinks he will be happy if he is alone. Her heart was breaking… she just wants to be a wife and a mother to have the opportunity to be a good wife… she asked me – “why is God allowing this to happen?” and my heart felt so heavy…. My heart was breaking and I shed tears as I drove her away and dropped her off at the home she will be staying for now… why… sin can be so deep and so shattering of lives. Pray for this friend that God will manifest himself and that this man will open up his heart wide to God and fight for his marriage instead of against it.
May God grant peace in the hearts of those that are suffering this HOLYday season as we celebrate His birth…
You totally read my mind/thoughts with this one. I’m taking your advice and giving the gift of myself. My sister as well has been going through rough times, and I’ve reached out to her because I don’t want her to be alone. Thank you for your words.
I feel so lonely. We don’t live near family so it’s only just the four of us for Christmas (my husband’s job prevents us from traveling this time of year) Added to that is my son’s autism. He’s a toddler in a 13-year-old’s body. He is literally bouncing off the walls & is so excited. I just hope he and his 12-year-old sister enjoy their gifts and remember what the holiday is all about. We’ll go to church in the morning since the Christmas Eve crowds are too much for my son to handle.
I am just so tired & it’s good to know I’m not the only one not feeling the season. I pray that you and your family — and all the other women posting here — have a good Christmas.
I could always use prayers but I am commenting just to let you know that you have made a difference in my life, and in many others I am sure.
I will pray for YOU to feel the spirit of Christmas even while you mourn with those that mourn. ((hugs))
Linda
Thank you for this, December has had a lot of lovely moments, but than there has been a lot of tears. Feeling just emotionally broken. It feels so small compared to many other problems but my job has become unbearable and right now I’m not finding alternative. To add to this my family will gather tomorrow for Christmas while I work.
I’ve been really thankful for your blog because it has helped me catch glimpses of God’s grace and joy in this tough month.
Overall my life is pretty darned good – I have a stable job, I’m healthy, I’m safe, I have a house and everything else monetarily that I need. But I live alone, dont have any close friends, my relatives are 500 miles or farther away and I’m not as close to them as I’d like, and this is the 2nd Christmas without my Mom. So its a lonely time for me, as I see so many others surrounded by family and friends. Just knowing that other people care would mean the world to me. So if anyone would like to remember me in your prayers, I will feel it and appreciate it. One of the kindest things we can do is care about and pray for strangers. I have prayed for all of those who have posted so far and for Crystal. God bless us all 🙂
Thank you, CJ, for your prayers. I will pray for you and for everyone here as well. I am alone also (other than my parents as I posted above) and I understand to some degree how you feel. The holidays can be a wonderful time for many – but it can be a time of sorrow for others who are alone, in pain, or grieving. I pray you’ll find some comfort today and tomorrow. Perhaps you can do something special for yourself or for someone you don’t know. God bless you.
Thank you, Lyn. I’m working tomorrow for a co-worker so he can have Christmas with his son who he doesnt get to see much. And I’m glad to be of help (I work in public safety) to people who may need it on Christmas. My heart is full with God’s love and all the blessings of this season.
CJ, what a wonderful gift to give to your co-worker. So very kind of you. I spent my Christmas Eve tonight at the hospital with my step-dad. It was all about spending time while he is still here with us and nothing else. I wore a Santa hat and a light-up necklace, and even though my heart is hurting inside, it felt good to do this for him, as I know we won’t have another Christmas with him again. I prayed for you tonight as well. God bless you.
CJ, I will pray for you. When I pray, I often will pray for “anyone who doesn’t have someone mentioning them to God.” I believe the Holy Spirit delights to pray on our behalf, especially when we don’t know who we are praying for, or what they need. God bless you with peace and comfort this Christmas.
Sarah, what a beautiful way to pray! I’ll remember to do this in the future, too.
Cj I know how you feel. I could have wrote your note. I have been a widow for 11 years now and my mom passed in 2012. She was my best friend! My son lives here but he is busy with his own family and sometimes I feel like he has forgotten me. My husband was the light in our family and when he was taken away from us at the young age of 47 it was like the whole world stopped. I pray every night for many people weather I know them or not and I hope someone does the same for me. I will add you to my list!
I have been appreciating your prayers over my husband’s infidelity, as well as my son’s severe asthma and my oldest daughter’s ADHD and my own health issues. Thank you for all that you do, and I would appreciate your continued prayers for my family.
One of our 3 adult kids died on thanksgiving day last year and it is still so painful. Thank you for praying.
2015 has been SUCH a hard year for us. But we’re ending it with tons of thankfulness.
I wholeheartedly agree with you that the gift of your presence is so valuable to people in need. This year, my dad’s business burned to the ground (and most of it wasn’t insured), I had vocal cord surgery that left me unable to talk much for several months and to struggle to learn to talk again, we had financial set-backs and vehicle problems, my husband almost lost his job, which is a job he absolutely loves, and I have been trying to help one of my closest friends is in an abusive marriage. Through it all, God’s comfort was the most powerful through the people who were just there. The people standing in the ashes with us, grieving. The people who asked how I was doing. The friend who texted me the minute she found out about my husband’s job crisis and said she was ordering pizza for us. The friends who offered to pray and spent time talking with me about difficult things over the phone. We have so much to be thankful for this year as we remember the friends who were WITH us through some of the hardest times of our lives.
Experienced Loss this year. twice. Going through some things that I pray will pass. Praying for a door to open for us in our living situation. Scared of change.
While your heart is heavy it is also exactly as the Savior would be….Showing love and feeling concerned for those around them. It really is what Christmas is all about.
My step-dad has been in the hospital this week and we received news that was not good. He is the only dad I’ve ever really had and someone who in recent years has been there for me when I needed help. He is an inspiration to me – not complaining and usually trying to joke around and be upbeat. I would appreciate your prayers for him and for my mom as well. Holidays are already difficult since losing my only child. I’m doing my best to put my own needs aside and to be there for them as much as possible.
It’s not easy, but the best thing to do when we are hurting is to reach out to someone else – a kind word, prayer, a phone call – any kind gesture. It not only gets our mind of off our own troubles, but it reminds us that there is always someone out there who is hurting just as much – sometimes more.
Thank you Crystal, your words really hit home. My family has had a very stressful year. We are not doing well financially, and my husband has been away for work alot. Thankfully he is home working now, but we know this may be temporary. This past week I have also learned of some very serious, heavy things my sister is dealing with. This is just adding to an already stressful time for us, and the fact that we live on the other side of the country doesnt help. Her young daughters are currently staying with my parents. You prayers are extremely appreciated during this difficult time. The thought of someone I have never met being so kind and reaching out brings tears to my eyes. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Merry Christmas from my family to yours!
Thank you for this post Crystal. This will be a very hard Christmas for my husband and I. Our precious son, Vinny, was born still at 39 weeks on December 3rd. Our hearts are heavy. We miss him terribly. We are doing our best to make Christmas joyful for out three other young children, but it is difficult. Thank you so much for your prayers-they mean so much. God bless you and your family this Christmas season.
Praying for you Nina. The Lord is near to the broken hearted. ?
Grandson in the hospital following a severe seizure. They found sepsis in his blood. 105 fever this morning. They moved many states away this year and we can’t be there to help. We lost my mom and aunt this year and we don’t have any joy left to celebrate.
Jacki – prayers for you and your family. There will be other, better Christmases ahead.
Thank you for this very important reminder. Life is good for us now, and I’m writing this as I take a break from preparing for what I anticipate will be a wonderful Christmas Eve celebration with family and friends.
But it wasn’t always so good. There was divorce, and cancer, and financial struggles. I need to remember what those holidays were like for us, and look for opportunities to reach out to those who are still hurting.
Challenging year, but God is good…the 5th surgery of the year for my husband will be Tuesday, and his 6th in a year’s time in Feb. sometime. Praying that disability comes through, and waiting on the Lord to see what He will do with all of this. We see His hand in the process, and He will be glorified. Praise be to Him!
You can say a prayer for my Grandmother, Lois. It’s the first Christmas without her husband of 64 years. He passed away in October. We are surrounding her with love but I can tell that she is so sad. Thank you for your kindness and encouragement. You are a blessing to many.
I’ll be honest…I’m struggling this year. Another year of singleness, another year of home being far away and a Christmas celebration “borrowed from friends.” The traditional American idea of Christmas seems to mock the reality of my life right now. So I just ignore it as much as I can, but know I’m only cheating myself.
So I appreciate this post. It’s comforting to know that there are those that recognize that not all is well this Christmas season. I an grateful for your thoughtfulness and prayers as I navigate this often painful time of year.
I would appreciate prayer too. Facing this Christmas with the startling reminder that my hope of a baby to hold this season was shattered by miscarriage. My husband is working so I am at home all alone with my thoughts. Trying to hold on to the ultimate gift of salvation but am tempted to just sleep through today and tomorrow to avoid the pain.
Stephanie, i too will be praying for you. I know how difficult it can be at any time if year when your life doesn’t seem to be like everyone else’s. At Christmas, with all the commercialism it seems exaggerated. Know that many readers are praying for you.
Liz
I can relate to this. The sting of singleness can be especially felt this time of year. Thanks for sharing.