Free ebook: How My Soul Yearns: How God Brought Me Through Infertility

Download a free copy of How My Soul Yearns: How God Brought Me Through Infertility.

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  1. melissa says

    Oh, this tugs at my heart strings. We survived nearly 7 years of “unexplained” infertility and three miscarriages. We now have three beautiful children of our own, but I know it doesn’t work that way for everyone. It’s about letting go of our own plans and accepting God’s plans for our lives, whatever that may mean. This is such a difficult topic and my heart goes out to anyone currently struggling with it.

  2. Annonymous says

    Thank you for posting this, Crystal, as I wouldn’t have seen it otherwise. I won’t leave my name because honestly the hurt of infertility that I am experiencing is not something I can be open about right now.

    There are not many books written on the topic. From the reviews on Amazon it looks like this is a Scripture filled book that really addresses the feelings and struggles that go along with this from a Biblical perspective

    This was posted in the first review –
    She says, “I was allowing my God-given desire to become a mother (Genesis 1:28), to become full blown-out idolatry (Colossians 3:5). It was all I thought about; it consumed every part of my being. I wanted my dream fulfilled, but instead I found myself living in sin. I can sugarcoat it and make it sound better, but sin is what it is and that is what I am going to call it.” (pg. 26)

    Wow, that is so me! I found myself there just at the beginning of this year. And I am in the process of giving up the dream of children, but giving it up to God so that I can find happiness and joy and contentment in the life HE has given to me. Looking forward to reading this.

    • Lyn says

      My husband and I struggled for several years. It was hard to talk about at first, but sharing our struggle with a trusted, faithful community of people was, I feel, the turning point. Knowing that others were holding us up in prayer was very powerful. I encourage you, when you are ready, to seek people of faith, not necessarily your family, to ask for confidential prayer and support. We were not physically close to our family, so starting with our church community was a great option when we felt strange talking about something so very personal. But the love and support was overwhelming! We have three wonderful boys today. I will pray for you!

    • says

      My heart breaks for you right now. I am so sorry that you are in midst of the deep hurt of infertility right now, at this moment. I pray that my words and my journey will help you to know that you are not alone, and that the Lord has not left you!

      May I pray for you?

      Lord, I thank Yfor this brave woman who is struggling right now today. Lord, I know a little of what she feels because I can remember how hurt and broken I felt because of my infertility. Lord, show her Your presence in her life and give her deep peace that surpasses understanding. Lord, I pray that if it is Your will that You would open her womb and allow her to conceive, please Lord if You choose to do this, sustain the precious life inside of her.

      Lord, I know that You have plans for her life and that those plans are for her ultimate good. Lord, help her to trust in You more, just as I am learning to do, every day. Lord, help her to find true peace and contentment in You and You alone. Lord, all the things of this world are fading and tainted with sin, help her to trust in You and Your unchangeable character. Lord, I thank You for this woman and pray that You would bless her today and give her encouragement. Amen.

      • Annonymous says


        I have tears streaming down my face as I read your prayer… thank you so much! In fact I may just print it for a daily reminder to me. Such healing, help, contentment, encouragement, and peace in your words…

        I just find it hard to be open and honest with others about “infertility” – I know others assume it as we have been married for almost 10 years. But it is hurtful enough without discussing it out in the open with people. And as you said in your prayer, I feel “broken” as if something is wrong with me – and that is hard to put out there in th open.

        But as you said – it is God’s perfect plan for my life – it is just up to me to learn to accept and realize that it is HIS best. I don’t understand why but maybe one day I will. And I find the more I do that, the more contentment and happiness I find in HIM and in the wonderful marriage He has blessed me with.

        I am adding your blog to my reader. And just realized as I clicked over I realize you are the author of THIS book. Thank you so much, Ashley! Your words are just what I needed tonight to continue to bring healing.

    • says

      My heart breaks for you. I remember the days lived in the deep hurt of infertility feeling like I was broken and alone. I pray that the Lord pulls you out of this deep hurt and places you back on His solid rock! It is not easy but even in the midst of infertility you can find peace and hope in Him! I pray that my words in my book remind you that you are not alone! There are other women living just as you are, in the hurt, right now. And there are women who have been there and have been able to come through and find peace.

      May the Lord bless you and encourage you today! May you be reminded of His presence and love and mercy in Your life. May you hope in Him and Him alone! He has plans for your life, and though they sometimes don’t make sense, they are for our ultimate good. It’s hard to understand in the midst, oh so hard! But, please remember, the Lord is at work in You even today and especially in the midst of infertility!!!

      I will be praying for you!

    • Toni says

      Please check out Hannah’s Prayer at You will find support and encouragement from Christian women who intimately know your pain. I was one of them and my heart has been forever burdened to pray for those who know my former struggle. I never did conceive, nor bear a child. But God did bless me, in time, with 4 children through foster-to-adopt. I also served with Hannah’s Prayer for a time. Jenne Saake, the founder, has written a book as well. It’s called, “Hannah’s Hope” and I would definitely reccomend it. (((God sees the end of your journey. Remember that as you’re moving forward.)))

  3. Beverly says

    I’ve been wondering this question for quite awhile but never posted it….can you buy these books and then download them to a Kindle at a later time? I plan on buying a Kindle soon, but don’t have one yet. Just wondering if I can take advantage of these free books. (I know you can read them on your computer, but I would like to be able to transfer them to Kindle.) Thank you!

    • Mandy W. says

      Yep, you sure can! They are stored as part of your Amazon account, so as long as you use the same account when you link up a Kindle, or anything with a Kindle App, then you will have access to all of the books you previously bought.

    • Lyn says

      Yes, you can put them on a Kindle later. Go ahead and get the Kindle app for your computer. Use or create the email/amazon account you’ll use when you get your Kindle. Then later, you can move books between the two.

  4. Vonnie says

    Thanks for the link! I have added this to my Kindle app to read. My husband and I have experienced almost 10 years of unexplained infertility. We adopted a sibling group of two a few years ago (18 mo & 3 yrs at time of first placement with us) and I am happy to have children. Some days are easier than others.

    • says

      How wonderful for the Lord to have blessed you through adoption! My husband and I are currently in the process of adoption from our local foster care and we are so excited!

  5. Toni says

    Very near and dear to my heart. As an adoptive mom of four, I served as a moderator for Hannah’s Prayer, an online ministry that offers support to Christian couples facing fertility challenges from conception through the loss of a child in early infancy. I have blogged on this topic many times.

    • says

      I am so glad when I hear about women talking about infertility and sharing their story. There is power is talking about it and letting others know that they are not alone! Praise the Lord!

      • Toni says

        I believe this too, Ashley. Thank you for writing about it and for sharing your heart with others who may feel isolated by infertility.

  6. jj says

    Thanks for posting this. This is also near and dear to my heart as I struggled with infertility. But God is so faithful and knows exactly what we need and blessed us with two lovely biological children without any medical intervention. Even though I was able to have children on my own, I still consider myself very infertile because I believe it was God’s doing that I was able to carry on two pregnancies against all odds.

  7. cher says

    I urge any woman who has suffered from infertility/miscarriage/PMS to read a book called

    The NaProTechnology Revolution

    You can find it on There are real answers to a range of issues from infertility, miscarriages, and PMS. The doctor who put this fertility tracking system together is extraordinary. If you are faithful in this system, you will, I truly believe, gain a tremendous payoff.

    Women’s health concerns are on the rise because there are a host of endocrine disruptors that have made their way into the food supply, water, and personal care/beauty enhancing products. The effects can be devastating as in the case of infertility and miscarriage or downright frustrating as with the case of PMS. There is hope. God’s blessings rain upon you to bring the beauty of your womanhood to the fullness of His divine plan.

    • Anonymous says

      I put all my hope into the this tracking system and found it, just like your post, to put the blame on me when it failed. I was faithful to the system yet it did not provide any new information for my practitioner, doctor or my journey to parenthood. It likely works for some, but it is not the answer for all.

      • SS says


        I also faithfully did this tracking system and got some answers but none that healed my body as Dr Hilger’s team had hoped. (I was a NaproFail.) I had two surgeries through them as well as a long process of medication to try to regulate my hormones. They encouraged me to follow an anti-inflammatory diet because I was so inflamed when they did my surgery. It turns out that wheat and dairy were not the only products that my body reacted negatively to. I finally found an RD that did a blood test and I’m intolerant to gluten, dairy, eggs, almonds, beef, and lamb. Eating eggs and almonds were hurting me as much as wheat and dairy.

        While many do receive their miracle children through this method and this is a more thorough look, please do not put all your eggs in one basket. God is in control. (My husband also has many issues that they weren’t able to fix.)

        We have struggled with infertility for almost 9 years and we are certified and on the waiting list for a domestic infant. Praying the Lord blesses us through adoption.

  8. says

    Thank you so much for this. I am going to download and read this book. We have been struggling with infertility for nearly 2 years now. It’s such a tough road – I feel so much for any of you other ladies who are struggling with it, too.

    The one thing I want most is to be a mom – and right now, God is not allowing that. It’s tough. And it’s not fair. But my husband and I have learned to lean on each other – and above all, lean on God.

    Thanks again, Crystal.

    • says

      You are so right! It is a tough road! Please know that you are not alone! You are right it’s tough and not fair. It is a consequence of this sinful world that taints even the most natural process. Praise the Lord that this has drawn your husband and you closer and not further away!

  9. socalgal says

    This e-book and posting could not have come at a better time. I love this blog but I feel so lost reading it sometimes because I have no children…despite how much I want to be a mother. We have prayed, been to several doctors over the years and read many books. After 11 years, I became pregnant. On Tuesday I was told to go home and wait for my body to miscarry. I know god has a plan for us…and I pray for my acceptance of the situation. Thank you for posts like this, it helps alot.

    • says

      Tears flow down as I read your comment. What a heart breaking situation. I cannot even attempt to say I know how you feel, I am so sorry. I am humbled by your courage and faith and trust! Praise the Lord that you stand on The Solid Rock! I will be praying for peace and comfort in this most difficult time. May the Lord bless you and show you His presence, even now.

  10. Nita Bourland says

    Your book is very inspiring…we were never blessed with
    Children…we are in our late 50s now so we know we
    Will never have children but have focused on others..
    Yes we still miss being parents and now Grandparents..
    But God had a better plan for us…

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