Guest post by Elise Adams.
Even in the most media-careful home, it’s likely that our kids are exposed to the materialistic messages floating around this time of year. In my home, our kids don’t watch TV, yet they still know what a Pillow-Pet is!
Not only are we challenged to provide a happy, true Spirit-focused Christmas season for them, we are also challenged with helping them learn how to give to others without falling into the “just buy a great gift” trap. I believe that there are a few simple steps we can take to transform our children’s outlook on Christmas as they prepare to join us in giving:
1. Help them write their own Giving List.
Just as we are making our lists and budgets, our kids can make their own list of family and friends who they’d like to give to. Maybe it’s just Grandparents, parents and siblings. Or, they may want to include a few friends. Helping them see the total number of gifts they’d like to give will instill a ‘big picture’ view for them.
2. Encourage our kids to make gifts and recycle their treasures.
Re-gifting has gotten a bad name, yet the growing concept of green-gifting is starting to put a different spin on this old no-no. Instead of picking something we don’t like from our own stash, focus on finding ‘hidden’ treasures that our friends/family have spoken about enviously.
3. Help our kids make out a simple gift-giving budget.
Even a 5-year-old can handle a 3-person $5/each budget. An older child can understand a more complicated prioritized budget, spending more for Mom and Dad, and spending less on friends. Using the envelope system with a name for each person and the money budgeted inside can be a great teaching tool!
4. Emphasize empathy!
Talk about what each person on our child’s list likes, or doesn’t like. Start by asking our kids to remember their favorite gifts and what they are hoping to receive this year.
“How did you feel when Mommy remembered your favorite color on your birthday?” for instance. Then move into how Grandma will love the photo with a handmade frame from them, for instance. Not only will this help our children come up with gift-giving ideas, but it will expand their empathy and deepen their character.
5. Pay attention to how you are talking about this time of year.
It’s so easy to talk about running out of money, or to complain about not getting what we want this year! Are we paying attention to our own attitudes and how this is teaching our kids to think/feel about Christmas gift-giving?
Instead of saying “We don’t have money for that.” How about practicing a different message? Such as: “We’re choosing to have a simpler Christmas this year.”
Children won’t get a “poverty mindset” unless we teach it to them. Neither will they develop a healthy perspective unless we consistently model one!
Elise Adams has served clients and audiences across the United States as the NewLife Recovery Coach, offering common-sense inspiration and transforming truths she’s gathered from over 10+ years of personal recovery. Since the Summer of 2010 Elise has personally coached dozens of clients through organizing, recovery, and personal challenges.
Great article! My son is two so he has helped me put change in the bell ringer basket’s at the store several times. He can also help me make our cookies for the neighbors. We made our giving list for the season, and I’ve almost completed it. Check it out at: http://saveliveeatlove.com/2011/12/love-update-on-8-ways-were-giving-this-holiday-season/
“Children won’t get a “poverty mindset” unless we teach it to them. Neither will they develop a healthy perspective unless we consistently model one!”
AMEN!
I loved this post. My oldest is only three and I’ve been trying to get him in the “giving” mentality verses the “getting” mentality and I needed some tangible ideas other than just talking to him about it. Thank you!
These are great ideas! Thanks for sharing them. I think it’s so important to practice these ideas all year long. If we spend 11 months out of the year complaining about what we don’t have and then 1 month telling our children that Christmas is not about the gifts, we will certainly look like hypocrites and children are very keen on spotting hypocricy…at least mine are.
I especially like #4. I think it’s so important to teach our children to be aware of the needs of others. Good article!
One thing we do is give a gift to “Jesus” each year. We ask our children’s ministry for a wish list for items the church needs and pick sometime off of it. I let the boys (5,3, and 2) wrap it and we take it to church and “give” it to Jesus.
Another thing we have also always done is we limit the number of presents we buy them to three–like gold, frankincense, and myrrh. They get a game/puzzle, toy, and a book.
I had a Proud Mamma moment at goes along with this post. A couple of days ago while pulling up to a store I noticed a Salvation Army volunteer ringing a bell outside the store. Decided to test Camryn, my 5 year old. Once we got out of the car I gave her a handful of change…4-5 quarters, some dimes and nickels. She asked what it was for, I told her “to do whatever you want to with it”. As we got closer to the store she asked why is that person ringing a bell? My 17 year old explained that he is collecting money for people who need help at the holidays. As we walked up to the store, she proudly put all but 1 quarter and 1 dime in the kettle. She told me she was keeping a couple for herself but gave most of it to help other people. After walking thru the store she decided that she really didn’t need her coins so she put them in the kettle on the way out. WAY TO GO CAMI!!!!
Great article! Thanks for sharing! It confirms a post I just wrote recently on the True Meaning of Christmas and keeping those family favorite traditions going and focusing on “HIS presence” and not the “presents.” We need daily fresh reminders and to keep training our children to not be bombarded by the things of this world.
Thank you for all you do! Blessings!
One of the greatest pieces of advice that I was given when I had my first baby (18 yrs. ago!) was to NOT focus on how little money we had. This seasoned mom advised to avoid saying “we don’t have enough money for that item” and instead say: “we choose not to spend our money on that item because. . . . ” I’d say that when my kids were young they never realized how little money we actually had. My kids are givers, both in time, money and items.
I love this advice! I decided at the beginning to try not to say the phrase, ” they can’t afford much of a Christmas” or “not having much of a Christmas”. If Christmas is truly not about “things” then why would lack of money prevent having Christmas. I think the phrase has been used by christians loosely without really thinking about what we are saying! Great reminder.
Good point!
I really appreciated this article. Great ideas. Going to have my kids make a “giving” list this week! 🙂
My son just turned 2 in November, but I printed off some free Christmas coloring sheets for him to color so he can still be able to give something to his grandparents, aunts, and uncles this Christmas. We figure it’s never too early to teach about giving.
I completely agree that it is SO I important to teach children from a young age about the importance of giving and serving others. Each year we give to our church’s giving tree, choosing a few tags and getting for that needy child. We also put together shoe boxes for Operation Christmas Child, which is another inexpensive way of sharing joy to children that go without. As a family we color pictures and create poems to share with local hospitals and shut-ins and collect change/coins that go to a local shelter for pro-life. We are on a budget but focus whatever little we can on those most in need.
Great idea to include our kids in our church and community giving too. This year we’re super squeaky on resources ourselves so we’re joining with other church families to sponsor a local family by buying them Christmas dinner–the kids and I are going shopping for a bunch of fruits and veggies for our contribution later this week!
I love getting them involved in giving this time of year. I do everything I can in our house to take the focus off of “just them” to how can we help others. They take pride in picking out something for someone they care about.
They also take pride in thinking about what they would like to “give” when we get them involved in our angel tree shoeboxes and other charities we do this time of year.
I can’t stand to see children (even my own at times) get so wrapped up in gifts, gifts, gifts that they could have just opened up 10 and they want to know where the next one is. It makes me sick.
Great article! I don’t have my own kids yet, but I do teach 1st grade. These are good lessons to incorporate into the classroom as well.
Thanks for the kudos…I hadn’t thought of teachers, but you’re right! Such a great concept to share in classrooms or Sunday School rooms too!