My husband and I have been married for over 13 years and in those years, I’ve learned and grown a lot.
The first seven years of our marriage were especially hard. We survived the last semester of undergrad, infertility, law school, then three babies in five years, multiple job changes, job loss, starting multiple businesses, moving multiple times, financial struggles, marriage struggles, postpartum depression… and more.
I struggled to figure out how to do this wife thing, this mom thing, this home business thing, and this homemaking thing. There were many rocky seasons and rough patches.
There were many days when I never made it out of my PJs (well, truth be told, I still have a few days like that here and there!), I always felt incredibly behind, I rarely ever got enough sleep, and the house was often near disaster.
In the past five years, I’ve made huge strides in my organizational skills, my personal self-discipline, and in setting up more structure and routine for our days. There are 5 principles we follow that have helped us to find our groove, simplify our lives, and have better order in our days:
#1: Touch It Once
As I talked about yesterday, instead of moving papers and piles and clutter and stuff around from place to place, I’m a firm believer in touching things once.
If you pick it up, use it and put it away. If you get it out, put it away. If it’s trash, throw it out. If it’s a dirty plate, don’t just set it in the sink, rinse it out and put it in the dishwasher.
By dealing with dishes and trash and junk mail and papers immediately, you save yourself so much time in the long run. {If you missed my post on this principle, read it here.}
Now if I could just implement a Touch It Once system for my laundry, we’d be all set! 🙂
#2: Everyone Pitch In
If you are a member of our family, you are required to be an asset to our family. We want to raise our kids to be responsible adults, so that means we are working on training them to pitch in and carry their own weight as part of our family.
One way we do this is by having Non-Paid Chores and Daily Lists. Our kids know that this is what is expected of them and that there are consequences when they don’t do what is expected of them.
By all pitching in and working together, it makes our home run much more smoothly and it means that no one person is having to tackle the majority of the work involved in keeping our home clean and orderly. “Many hands make light work!”
#3: Pick Up Twice A Day
This simple principle has made a world of difference in our home. I’m not exactly sure when it started, but I don’t plan to ever discontinue it!
Basically, in a nut shell, we aim to have our whole house picked up and company ready twice a day — this means all the main rooms all picked up, the kitchen cleaned up, the laundry started, the bathrooms clean, etc.
We usually have a household clean-up time right after breakfast when everyone does their morning chores, I work on the kitchen and laundry and oversee/inspect the kids’ work. Then, after dinner, we all work together to clean up again — this time with Jesse either overseeing the kids’ chores or helping with cleaning up the kitchen.
#4: Stick With a Budget
From the beginning of our marriage, we’ve lived on a strict, written budget. This has simplified our lives, made decision-making so much easier, helped us in our communication as a couple, given us greater financial traction than we could have ever dreamed, and allowed us to be able to fulfill our heart passions to be givers.
If you’ve never had a written budget before, I can’t recommend it highly enough. Some people think that it would make life miserable. On the contrary, we’ve found that it simplifies life so much — we don’t have to worry that spending money in one area is going to hurt our ability to spend in another area because we’ve already pre-determined and designated money for all of our budget categories. In addition, it cuts down significantly on impulse purchases!
#5: Shop Less
The less you own, the less there is to clean, dust, and pick up. We don’t do much shopping — except mostly for groceries and some online shopping for necessities like clothes and household items.
Before heading out to shop, I encourage you to really ask yourself why you’re shopping. Do you have the money to buy the item? Can you make do with what you already have? Is there a better use for that money?
It’s long been said, “If you’re not content where you are, there’s a good chance you’re not going to be content where you think you want to be.” So instead of focusing on what we don’t have, for years we’ve made it our practice to focus on what we do have and to bloom right where we’re planted.
It’s amazing how this goes such a long way in curbing the “I wants” and the need to run out and buy something just to to buy something. Plus, the more we stay out of the stores, the less we are tempted to think we need to buy things we didn’t know we needed or didn’t know even existed!
What principles help YOU simplify YOUR home? I’d love to hear in the comments!
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Katelin says
After reading this article, I’m still mulling in my mind over the concept of “touch it just once.” This would be SUCH a timesaver for us! For example, there’s a sink of dishes looming over me right now that would have been fully avoided with this “touch it once” principle. Love it!! I would love to see a follow-up article with more suggestions on simplifying life because these are so practical!
K.D. says
In our house, anyone who eats the meal, stays in the kitchen until it is all cleaned up. With our family of six, this usually takes no more than 10 minutes. This creates an atmosphere where everyone is working. Food gets put away, the table is cleared and washed, the dishwasher is loaded, the floor is swept, and everyone has skin in the game until the last task is done. It doesn’t take long because everyone wants to see it through so that they can move on to other activities. LOVE IT!!
K.D. says
One more thing. We don’t make assignments, our motto is “look for what needs to be done and do it” because we will all be here until it’s all done.
Staci says
I am interested to hear an update what chores your kids do now (paid and unpaid) since they are older. Please consider sharing.
Lydia @ Thrifty Frugal Mom says
We do #3 too and it makes such a big difference- if nothing else it helps my sanity. 🙂 Right after lunch and before nap time we do a clean up (I’m not always super picky that every single little thing is picked up, but at least most of it) and then right before dinner we do a thorough clean up again. Of course there are usually a few things to put away before bedtime, but by doing this that clean up never takes long.
One thing I’ve noticed is that our children play with their toys more since we started doing the twice a day clean up. If toys are everywhere and things are all disorganized, they seem to just feel overwhelmed. But if the toys are put away they actually tend to play with them because they are easily accessible.
Kariane says
We keep to similar principles, and it helps tremendously. I also use a Touch it Once paper system, and we don’t shop unless we need something (I wrote about it here: http://everydayintentionalliving.com/simplify-saturday-dont-shop-unless-you-need-something/ ). It makes a huge difference!
I love the idea of a twice a day pickup. I think I’ll have to give that one a try.
Also, Crystal, I’d love to see your chore lists for your kids. Would you mind sharing them? Thank you!
Denise (Life With the Lid Up) says
I have been working on decluttering in an effort to simplify our household. I especially appreciate the tips on cutting down on paper and sticking with daily pickups. Now if I could figure out a way to organize Legos! Feels like they’re taking over my house! Haha
Dawn Lea says
There is a drawstring bag that is sold that you can lay down, put the Legos in it, then sinch them all back up when the kids are done playing! It worked great when my friend and I had 3 five year olds in my office and we were painting one weekend!
bonnie says
I have had daycare and children and grandchildren……I used a king sized sheet from a second hand store…..a white one is best. Spread it out and let the kids play in the middle of it. Finished, then pick up the 4 corners and twist and keep in a cardboard box or a laundry basket!