This post is a little personal and bordering on TMI, but you all are like family to me and I wanted you to know what’s been going on in my life the past few days…
The past six months or so, I’d been experiencing a few issues… of the female variety. I didn’t really think it was anything to worry about so I didn’t really pay attention to it much. I figured it would eventually just go away. (I know, denial is not really the best solution, is it??)
The past week, some more issues had arisen to the point where I knew something was clearly not right internally. Jesse encouraged me to make a doctor’s appointment and I was concerned enough that I did.
When I called the Women’s Center to let them know what was going on, they suggested that I come in sooner rather than later. So, even though I had blogging friends flying into town to stay at my house on Thursday afternoon, I went ahead and took the appointment slot they had open then.
Truthfully, I expected the appointment to be very routine: check in, get weighed, ask a few questions, get checked out, and be told to just watch things and report back if anything changed.
Only that’s not how it went. As soon as the PA started the internal exam, they said, “You have a mass on your cervix.”
And then they checked some more. And some more. Brought the doctor in. Checked some more.
This was not what I was anticipating. Not. at. all.
They started throwing out words and phrases and statements that were scary:
We need to do a biopsy.
We need to do an ultrasound.
We need to do surgery.
We may need to remove part or all of your uterus.
My head started spinning. I needed to be headed to the airport to pick up my blogging friends, not thinking about biopsies, surgery, and cancer.
I texted my friends and said, “I’m sorry, I have to get a biopsy on my cervix. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
And then there was more checking. More prodding. More poking. More uncomfortableness. More scary words.
This seemingly routine doctor’s appointment was now far from routine. And I sat there in the exam room not knowing what to feel.
They finished the biopsy, went over all my options and possibilities, and rearranged the schedule to get me in for an ultrasound the following morning.
I walked out of the doctor’s office wondering if my life would ever be the same again. I had to call Jesse and I didn’t know how to break the news to him.
You see, his mom had died of cervical cancer when he was 12. He’d walked this road before and I knew that this news would hit him much harder than it had hit me.
As I suspected, he was shocked by the news. He quickly worked out the childcare situation, dropped everything he was doing, and met me in the parking garage of the doctor’s office so he could drive with me to the airport.
I needed to process the news. I needed him close. And I knew I needed to be strong for him.
We talked through it. I shared my fears. We talked about the possibilities. And we texted my family with the news and asked them to pray.
It wasn’t just the cancer word that was scary. It was also the news that there was a good chance they’d need to remove my uterus.
I’m 33 years old and, as some of you know, I’m at peace with the fact that we might not have more children (we’ve experienced secondary infertility for the past 5 years), but we’ve always hoped that it might happen. So the thought that my child-rearing years were possibly coming to a screeching halt was hard to process. Especially because all of this came out of left field.
We went to the airport to pick up my friends. Part of me felt like this was the worst time ever for me to be hosting a Blogging Retreat at my house. But the other part of me knew that what I needed most was to be surrounded by friends who would make me laugh, listen to me, pray with me, and care for me.
That’s exactly what happened. These four girls were not only a great distraction to me, they were so kind and gentle. Speaking words of life, hope, and encouragement to me.
We got their suitcases situated, chatted a bit, and then left for the grocery store to buy groceries for the next few days (these girls are amazing cooks and food bloggers, so they offered to do the meal-planning and cooking while staying at my house — how cool is that??)
While we were at the store, my kids called me crying. One of them had overheard bits and pieces of the news, had relayed it to the others, and they were all very upset.
My heart broke right in two. How was I supposed to help my kids process all this when I couldn’t even figure out how to process it myself?
I said I’d be right home to snuggle with them and we quickly finished up the grocery shopping and headed home. It took about 30 minutes of talking and hugging and processing before the kids all calmed down enough to be able to sleep.
I felt so helpless to know how to encourage them. But I asked them to be strong for me and told them that we were all going to be brave together — no matter what I heard from the doctor the next day.
Before I went to bed that night, my sweet blogging friends all gathered around me and prayed over me.
It was beautiful. And I knew that God had orchestrated things perfectly to have them at my house the day that I needed them most.
I felt so loved and supported in the midst of my confusion and heaviness. In addition to my blogging friends surrounding me with love, all of my family members had reached out and texted me to say they were praying and to express how much they cared about me. It meant the world to me!
I slept well, but woke up feeling nervous, tense, and apprehensive. I knew that the news I was going to hear today could possibly change the course of the rest of my life.
I felt sick to my stomach and jittery. But in spite of that, I also felt peace.
Peace that whatever happened today, God was in control. Peace that God was going to take care of us.
And I headed into the ultrasound carried by this peace.
The internal and external exam seemed to take forever. We had to wait in the waiting room, do the exams, and then wait again for the reports.
Very pregnant women kept coming into the room for their ultrasounds. There were pregnancy magazines spread out everywhere. And all I could think was, “Most women who come into this office are probably getting ultrasounds of their healthy pregnancies, not finding out whether they have to get their uterus taken out or to be diagnosed with cancer.”
It made me think about how many times we’re in situations where someone might be hurting or carrying a heavy burden and we don’t know it. I want to be more sensitive and caring in these situations.
We finally got to meet with the doctor. I was shaking and scared.
And then she said the words I’d been holding my breath to hear: “I don’t think it’s cancer and the mass is small enough that we won’t have to remove your uterus when we do surgery.”
I let out a huge sigh of relief.
I had prepared for much worse. But instead, it was the best care scenario we could have possibly hoped for.
I felt grateful. Humbled. And exhausted from the tension. All at once.
I know that these stories often don’t have a happy ending. In fact, I debated whether or not to share it because it DOES have a happy ending.
Some of you don’t have happy endings to your stories.
Some of you are probably waiting on results for medical testings that could change the course of your future.
Some of you have probably received hard news in recent weeks.
Some of you are feeling scared and overwhelmed with heavy burdens.
I wish I could tie up all your problems in a neat little bow. I wish I could carry your burdens. I wish I could take away your heartache.
But while I can’t do that, what this week taught me was the power of being a supporter to others who are struggling. Because there are so many people who are struggling.
I want to do a better job of paying attention. Of asking the right questions. Of not being too busy or preoccupied to notice or care. Of making the effort to reach out and let people know that I care about them. Of finding more tangible ways to show people how much I love them.
There is a world of hurt, heartache, and heavy burdens around us. We can’t fix all the problems, but we can love others well. We can’t solve all the crisis that are swirling around us, but we can take time to listen and care about those in our daily lives. We can’t heal all the brokenhearted, but we can shower people with the ministry of our presence.
Together, we can help do a little bit to turn others’ upside down worlds a little more right-side up. And it starts with our willingness to stop worrying about how awkward it might feel or how uncomfortable it might seem, and to just reach out and love others well… just like my blogging friends and my immediate family did for me this week.
Jessica says
I saw on instagram a few months back that you were having surgery but I never knew why. I just want to say… this post touched me deeply. I’ve been sick since June 14, 2014. I chose to keep my symptoms quiet from most family and friends because I just don’t know what to tell anyone yet. I have a team of doctors at Hopkins trying to figure it out. However, this whole process has made me realize how much of us suffer, worry, or stress in silence. I am not the only one going through this… we all have something going on that is not superficially apparent. I need to learn to be more in-tune with others’ struggles. Love your books but I will make sure I stay updated with the blog for now on. Take Care and have a wonderful new year!
MacKenzie Monroe says
Ok- this was the real post I came here looking for (though I may have gotten a little carried away commenting on other posts on my way to finding this one!). I am so sorry you have been going through all of this but I am so glad it is turning out ok. I will be praying in earnest for you and thinking of you on Friday morning! You are amazingly strong and brave, and He’s got you in your weakness!
Tara G. says
Catching up on your blog… just wanted to say that I’ve seen so much growth in you the past couple of years and it’s a beautiful testimony to God- rejoicing with you! Prayers for a smooth surgery and recovery!
Jennifer says
God bless each of you, Crystal! Thank you for sharing your fears, happy ending and lessons so beautifully and honestly. You are such a blessing! xxx
Meg says
Crystal,
I am really glad you shared this story. I’ve been experiencing some symptoms of the female variety as well. It started a few months ago and has gotten worse especially in the last week. I have been putting off calling the gyn but your post encouraged me to finally do it.
Ironically, I’m a year older than you and also been dealing with secondary infertility for the last 5 years.
Thanks.
ashley says
Thank you so much for sharing such real parts of your life! It is so encouraging to know that other moms experience the same struggles and fears – and even more so to hear the power of prayer! I especially appreciate the mention of seeing other pregnant women in the office and not knowing everyone’s struggle – I suffered three miscarriages in one year and every trip to the OBGYN was difficult – a great reminder that we’re not all there for happy reasons.
So happy for your outcome! Always praying for your sweet family.
dena says
I am so thankful you are ok ..your blog has helped me in so many ways..thank you so much again ..
Tammy C says
Glad all is okay but wow that is scary at a young age. I don’t read your blog as much as I used to so I missed the initial news.
I am having a rough time with vascular lymphedema.My right leg was wrapped for almost 3 weeks and now my left leg is wrapped.
Crystal Paine says
I’m so, so sorry you’re going through that right now. I just prayed for you!
Ann-Morgan Krueger says
Crystal, I just wanted to take a moment and thank you for sharing your heart. I can’t imagine what a heavy burden it must have been, and my heart aches for what you, Jesse, and your kids have struggled with this past week. I will continue to pray for your total healing and for your desires and dreams for your family. I’m sorry you have to walk this journey, but you are doing it with such transparency, grace, and compassion for others, I’m confident God will use even the most difficult of circumstances for His purposes. You are an encouragement to so many others, and it takes incredible strength to be vulnerable with the intimate details of your life. I have two songs echoing in my head…one is Sara Groves “It’s Gonna Be Alright” (she is my absolute favorite artist…I guarantee this will bless you) and Crystal Lewis, Beauty from Ashes, where she says,
“He gives beauty for ashes
Strength for fear
Gladness for mourning
Peace for despair
When sorrow seems to surround you
When suffering hangs heavy oer your head
Know that tomorrow brings
Wholeness and healing
God knows your need
Just believe what He said
He gives beauty for ashes
Strength for fear Gladness for mourning
Peace for despair
Sara Groves’ song says:
I can tell by your eyes that you’re not getting any sleep
And you try to rise above it, but feel you’re sinking in too deep
Oh, oh I believe, I believe that
It’s going to be alright
It’s going to be alright
I believe you’ll outlive this pain in you heart
And you’ll gain such a strength from what is tearing you apart
Oh, oh I believe I believe that
It’s going to be alright
It’s going to be alright
When some time has past us, and the story if retold
It will mirror the strength and the courage in your soul
Oh, oh, I believe I believe,
I believe
I believe
I did not come here to offer you cliches
I will not pretend to know of all your pain
Just when you cannot, then I will hold out faith, for you
Be encouraged today, Crystal, that God holds you in the palm of His hand.
Ann-Morgan
Crystal Paine says
Thank you so much for these sweet words. They blessed me and uplifted me so much! There are some other heavy in my life right now (that I’ve not been able to blog about) and these words were exactly what I needed to hear today. {Hugs!}
Alex Guglielmo says
Wow, Crystal, thank you for sharing this trial with your readers! It is good to know how to pray for you and how to praise the Lord for His wonderful mercy in this situation! I’m so glad that you were able to be encouraged by your blogging buddies and enjoy your time together instead of being by yourself; I’d call that God’s providence!
Kristin Fitzgerald says
This post hit so close to home for me. You see, I just had a cancer scare of my own this week. Saturday morning, i woke up to a horrible pain and a lump in my breast. I called my ob/gyn, as I am currently nursing and believed it to be just a clogged milk duct, but wanted to be sure. My dr told me to come to the office Monday to get checked out, just to be safe. When I arrived, he examined me and told me that it wasn’t a clogged duct, but rather a mass, and I needed a mammogram. He rushed the nurse in, handing in various orders, and before I knew it, it was Wednesday and I was scheduled for a bilateral manmogram, ultrasound, and possible biopsy. Thankfully, they did the ultrasound first which indicated a massive abcess, and no indications of malignancy!
I’ll be praying for you and your family!
Crystal Paine says
I’m so sorry that you had to go through that this past week! I’m so grateful things turned out well for you! I just prayed for you, too.
KerryLynn says
Crystal I am so sorry you had to go through that. It is terrifying getting news like that and not knowing how the outcome will be. Praise God you will not need your uterus removed! Thank you for being courageous enough to share your story and your life in general. I just turned 29 in July and unfortunately needed a hysterectomy when I was 26 years old. I also had 4 other abdominal surgeries prior to that and would not wish any of it on anyone. You are such an encouragement to me and I feel blessed to have been following your blog the past couple years. God Bless!
Jill says
Crystal, so thankful for your openness and and courage in sharing this with us. I was so blessed watching your video on Periscope as well! It was encouraging and just what I needed this morning. (I’m glad I listened because this post didn’t show up in the “No Deals” feed. You got me curious though so I came and searched for it on the blog). I’ve read your blog from the very beginning (and before ;)) and missed your personal posts lately and was praying everything was okay. I will continue praying.. Sending a hug your way!
Crystal Paine says
Whoops! Thanks for letting me know that this post wasn’t marked as No Deals.
And thanks so much for your kind encouragement! I’ve so missed writing personal posts recently and I can’t wait to get back to those!
Katie says
I am so happy to hear you are ok! You inspire me in all of your blogging! Thank you for being you! I am so happy for you and your family- thank you again!
Claire says
Crystal, I had no idea you were struggling with secondary infertility. I will be praying for you!
Heather Jones says
Oh, Crystal! Thank you for being so real and raw. I’ve been a long time reader (before Silas was born) and I read your post through tears. Hugs and prayers!
Diana says
Crystal, I just finished replaying your Periscope from this morning and I was all sorts of tears. It’s just so neat to see how God totally orchestrated this past weekend. I’ve been dealing with anxiety the past two years. It’s been a difficult and challenging time for my family and I. I knew I was coming through it but God completely spoke to me at your home. He told me I was healed. That’s the very, VERY, brief story but I want you to know how much your faith in Jesus has influenced me. It makes me want to be a better wife, mother, and friend. I am so blessed to be able to call you my friend! Thank you for living out the word of God in your everyday. I’ll continue to keep you and your family in my prayers. I love you, girl!!
Crystal Paine says
I am so very, very grateful for you! So grateful you were able to come. So grateful for your sweet spirit. So grateful for how you poured into our kids. So grateful for how you invested in Kathrynne. So grateful for your kind words of encouragement to me. So grateful for your amazing cooking… your life is a gift and I’m so humbly grateful to call you a friend!
Tshanina says
I love, love, love this – “We can’t solve all the crisis that are swirling around us, but we can take time to listen and care about those in our daily lives.”
So glad you were given the best news possible, Crystal! 🙂
Crystal Paine says
Thank you so much for your kind encouragement!
Kim N says
Thank you for sharing. It’s a good reminder for all of us to be more aware of the people around us and what they’re going through. I’ll be praying for you.
Stephanie says
Good job going to the doctor when you thought something wasn’t right! So many women don’t go because it’s uncomfortable or they are scared. I was 22 when I went my routine pap and pelvic. They said there was an abnormality and I came back in 6 months. There was still some abnormal cells, so they did a colposcopy. That showed unhealthy cells, so we scheduled a biopsy. That came back showing precancerous sells, so they called me in a day later for a conization. They told me at my check up afterwards that I had cervical cancer, but that it was removed and I had “clear margins” meaning only healthy tissue left. I was told that normally they would recommend a hysterectomy, but because I was so young, hadn’t had children yet, and had the clear margins, that it was probably safe for me to not get it done. I am now 30 and have a son who is a year old. If I hadn’t gone to that first exam, and those after it, the doctors may have not caught the cancer so early and I might not have my son. I don’t care how scary or uncomfortable those yearly visits are. It’s worth it. I am glad everything worked out well for you.
Angie says
Hi Crystal.
I don’t comment much here, but I have subscribed to your blog for a few years and follow you on Facebook. I always love your posts, even your personal ones. This one had me crying a bit (at work I might add) as I read it in my email, but when I came over here to finish reading the story, my heart got happy! I’m so glad you had support there to help you through and that your news ended up being on the better side of things! Prayer and having support is very important and not alot of people realize (or experience) that. I’ll keep you and your family in my prayers.
Hugs & kisses,
Angie
Crystal Paine says
Thank you so much for your sweet words — and for being such a long-time reader!
Amber says
Thank you for sharing. This is absolutely perfect timing to read this based on what is going on in my life. I hope the surgery goes smoothly and you have a full recovery. Prayers are a powerful thing and I will pray for you.
Jen says
I adore you and your store brought tears to my eyes. I’m so glad you’re okay and were surrounded by family and friends in this time of worry. Blessings to all those who are facing similar fears.
Tanya @ Mom's Small Victories says
How very scary but glad you got the best case scenario solution. Wishing you a speedy recovery and good health!
Jennie says
I am so thankful that you were going to be OK . You are a Godly blessing to so many . For those of us who knew not have to worry about such things so far , it is a wake up call to how blessed we should feel. Sometimes we worry about the little things and need to remember that people are going through things much bigger than what we face on a daily basis . Thanks for the reminder and will be praying for you ! Blessings to you and your family .
debbie says
Best wishes for an uncomplicated procedure and quick healing. I hope your biopsy will come back negative.
MB says
I appreciate you sharing your needs with us. So glad that you went to get checked when you did. Praying that all will go well with your surgery and you will soon have all of this behind you.
Michele says
Glad to hear that the news was good and praying that it continues to be.
Brittany @ Equipping Godly Women says
So glad to hear everything is okay!!
Lauren says
I appreciate you sharing – I had a similar experience with what I thought was a routine checkup quickly turning into the words “thyroid cancer.” I never expected the “C word” at 24 years old. It was a scary experience, but I was so grateful that it was able to fully removed, that it’s a low-risk, low-spread cancer, and that I had so much support, as you described. But what also hit me, and then I already needed to be reminded of from this post, is that I need to be more aware of others around me who are fighting those hard battles, who have just had those same doctor’s appointments. Those waiting rooms full of patients are all struggling and working through the same thing I was, some of them through much worse. I want to be a cheerleader and supporter for others, so thank you for reminding me!
Jennifer says
Thank you for sharing, Lauren. I, too, was diagnosed with thyroid cancer in March, after going in for a routine Pap smear. I was needing a check up before I had my tubal and bladder surgery, and my dr found the enlarged thyroid. Within a matter of 2 weeks, I had an ultrasound, biopsy, and results came 1 day before leaving on a family vacation to CA. I had lots of support, an amazing husband, and an amazing dr. Though I’m not cancer free (I have to have the iodine done), I know I’ll be ok. God is amazing…
Anna says
Thinking about you and your family at this hard time.
Mary says
So glad that things turn out well for you
Ashley says
Thank you so much for sharing. This past month I was diagnosed with MS. It has been a difficult journey but knowing that God has a plan for me and having the support of my family as well as my friends has helped so much during this time of processing. The little things to help matter so much during this time just knowing that you are loved by those around you.
Anne says
Could you email me? I am curious about what brought you to a ms diagnosis. [email protected]
Blessings
Laura Robinson says
Glad your story had a happy ending. It’s unfortunate that we’re being conditioned to expect the worst when a story like this crops up.
Sometimes I really wish the ob/gyn offices had separate waiting rooms for pregnant vs non-pregnant patients. It continually breaks my heart to be forced to witness the one thing that I will never be able to have despite years of tests and treatments.
Laura S says
I completely agree with you about the waiting rooms. My husband and I have been going through multiple miscarriages over the past couple of years and it’s so painful to sit in the waiting room surrounded by pregnancy and newborns. I always have to pray my way through the wait and know that God is good, whatever the situation.
Thank you for sharing your story, Crystal. It’s so good to hear the reminder trust God with our burdens and to accept the love of friends surrounding us.
Ang F. says
I am so glad you are going to be okay! What a blessing! My mom went through a similar scare recently. The doctors discovered a large mass on her cervix. Because of the location and massive size of it they told us to be prepared for the worse case scenario. We had this hanging over us all as we waited a month for the surgery with a specialist. As soon as the doctor got in though she was pretty certain that it was not. We waited for the official labs and were beyond relieved to get a confirmation that it was not cancer. We felt so blessed to be given more time. So scary. Prayers for you all!
Kim says
Oh, Crystal! Thank you for sharing your life experiences with us. I had tears streaming down my face reading your testimony and how God brought you through it. I will keep you in my prayers.
Connie C. says
Thank you for sharing this. ((hugs)) and many prayers!
Amy says
Last September, my daughter (who had always been a bedwetter) started wetting the bed twice a night every night. I mentioned it to my pediatrician and her response was “Sometimes kids wet the bed. She’ll outgrow it.” My gut told me this wasn’t good enough so I scheduled an appointment with a pediatric urologist who told us my daughter had a spastic bladder and put her on a medication to treat it. During that appointment, they did a urine test that came back high in sugar, protein, and ketones. The urologist said it must have been a contaminated sample and she would recheck at our follow-up in four weeks. Two days later, my daughter was in ICU in a diabetic coma. Bedwetting is one of the #1 symptoms for Type 1 diabetes. That weekend changed our lives (and especially hers) forever. She came through that weekend and began the regiment that would be routine for her for the rest of her life. I was feeling pretty sorry for her (and me) one morning after about 4 days in the hospital. I was in the bathroom in her room and I could here her singing in her hospital bed. She was singing a song entitled “I Have Been Blessed.” Ill attach a link to it so you can hear it if you’ve not heard it yet. The Holy Spirit gripped my heart. Here I sat in the hospital with a child who would be walking out in a couple of days, and although her life would now include some inconvenience and complications, it was nothing compared to what others sitting in this same hospital were facing. In the same hospital were children with cancer who would probably never be leaving the hospital. There were children in wheel chairs who would never walk or run. There were preemies whose mothers watched intently to make sure their little chests kept rising and falling with each breath. It took the sweet spirit of my six year old to remind me that I truly am blessed!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SeY5PPIn_mY
Kristen @ Joyfully Thriving says
My heart aches for you, and all the past days (and weeks) have held. And I know this road is not finished yet, with surgery in your future. I am joining so many others in praying to God on your behalf. Thank you also for bravely and boldly – in faith – sharing your story, to encourage others.
Jennifer@TheIntentionalMom says
I had a medical scare a couple of years ago that could have ended my ability to have more children as well. That can be so hard. I’m glad to hear that your prognosis is so much better than what it could have been.
Sometimes these things that shake us to our core are just what we need to remind us of what we truly value.
Earlier this year my healthy 12 year old son who had no medical history had a seizure. Although this boy is the one who challenges me the most out of my seven kids, this scare reminded me that the challenges he gives me in no way compare to his worth. I was reminded of how I wouldn’t ever want to imagine my life without him.
Prayers for you and your family. Any kind of surgery is never easy to think about!
joely says
Praying for you, your husband, and your children. Our lives are precious and wonderful. Thank you for sharing; your courage in writing this post is inspiring; I hope it leads to more of us taking care of ourselves and our health.
Faith Dossett says
Thank you for sharing your story, Crystal. Positive thoughts & prayers from our house to yours …
Brenda Christopher says
So thankful that your results turned out well and that your story does have a happy ending! Your blog is amazing and I love your transparency and how your share your heart. Thank you for the reminder to look for opportunities to encourage and support others. We have no idea what burdens people carry but if we ask God for direction, He will guide us where we are needed most. Thank you, thank you!! Prayers for a full and speedy recovery!
Sarah says
Thank you for sharing Crystal. I am so glad that for you, it was a happy ending. My daughter is 4 and we are also struggling with secondary infertility…something I never knew existed until it happened to us. Praying that if it be in God’s will, He will continue to bless you with more children. God is using you, keep on Crystal. <3
Jana says
Wow, I’m so glad it wasn’t the worst case scenario! I will be praying for you and your family as you go through the surgery and recovery!
Uma @ Centsible Indian says
Glad all is well at the end.
Tabitha says
I’m so thankful you shared your story and that you are okay!!!
Pinky says
Thank you for sharing your story Crystal. Honestly, it was hard to read through and complete the post, due to fear and anxiety….I’m thankful that you are okay. We’ll be praying for your health and successful surgery. God Willing, all will be okay.
Jay says
Praying for you and your family. Will pray for a successful surgery and quick healing. You have been saving our family money for at least 9 years when I discovered your blog. Thank you for all you do. Prayers from FL.
Sarah says
Dear Crystal,
Thank you for your openness and willingness to share your life. I am so glad that things worked out well for you and that you had a great support system around you, that is such a blessing. You willingness to share helps those of us going through our own health trials.
I have a follow up with a GI today to try to figure out the issues that have plagued me for almost 20 years. It’s been a roller coaster of emotions and frustrations, that have included, useless surgeries, expensive tests that cannot find anything, emergency visits to the ER, etc.
However, I tend to forget to put my faith on the Lord. I have let that burden overwhelm me and my mom, who has gone through so much with me. Thank you for the reminder to include prayer into my life. I know it will make a big difference in my life and those around me.
May God bless you and keep you healthy and positive and give you the additional family you so long for.
Kelly C. says
Crystal,
So glad you shared as it is an awesome and timely reminder that God is always in control! At the end of the day, we are called to give it all up to him. Glad your diagnosis ended up as well as it did. Medical problems are the scariest, I think! Thanks, too, for the nudge to be more present and more helpful to others.
Emily says
So glad you are going to be okay. I had to have outpatient surgery recently due to uterine fibroids which were causing heavy bleeding. He also did a biopsy, which thankfully came out just fine. I think my husband was more worry than me. I am way past childbearing but I may eventually still have to have a hysterectomy. If it’s outpatient you will be fine in several days.
G-d bless you.
Lisa says
Emily – I have been where you are for years. 15 years of heavy bleeding, pain, etc. 4 d&c’sm uterine ablation, cervical stenosis (which I will say is so much more painful than childbirth) and then in June the call that there was a good chance I had ovarian and tubal cancer. I had 30 days to schedule a total hysterectomy. That was July 9th. I had a wonderful relationship with my ob/gyn. She couldn’t tell me if I would be having it done vaginallymor abdominally. On the day of surgery she said w are changing it up and there was a new procedure she wanted to try on me. She said becuz there was the possibility of cancer she did bit want to “spill” any cells doing the procedure vaginally and she did not want me to have a long recovery with the abdominal. She made 4, 1 to 1-1/2 inch incisions around my abdominal. Made incisions of each side of my belly button. Went in and looked around. After observation, she thought I had a good chance I did not have cancer. Cut each organ, placed in a bag and then pulled just thru the belly button and morcelated as it came out. Slick as can be. I was in the hospital 2 weeks and went back to work part time in 3 weeks. I healed unbelievably well. My pathology results were, uterus more than twice the size of normal, adenomyosis, endometriosis, ovarian cysts inside the ovaries and outside, myomas and fibroids. Best of all, no cancer. Don’t be afraid to have the hysterectomy. It’s not fun and I have some serious hot flashes (why they call them flashes I will never know, it is half the day). I was 50 so not really of child bearing age but I wish I would have done it sooner. I really did not want my organs removed. But the thought of cancer, take anything. One more note, DO NOT let any physician morcelate inside the body. There is currently a big class action lawsuit on this. Feel free to email me if Crystal allows it. I wish you all the best. Crystal, so very happy that all is OK. It Is so very scary. I think as a mother we don’t think of ourselves but of our families. 7 weeks post op today and I can finally sleep easier. God bless you both!
Emily says
Thanks Lisa – I appreciate the encouragement and glad that you finally have ended your suffering. So far so good – it’s a waiting game for now for me.
Ali says
Thank you for posting this! Your post gave me much needed hope this morning. I am currently in the waiting room of our local hospital waiting for my 38 year old husband to come out of surgery and learn if the lump is his upper arm is cancer. Praying we get your same results!
Keelie Reason says
This must have been so hard for you and your family. I’m thankful that at this moment, they can handle the mass without major surgery.
Reelika @Financially Wise On Heels says
I feel you, Crystal, God bless you and hopefully everything goes well. I have been there when I was 18, but fortunately ended up not needing the surgery. However, my mom was not so fortunate and needed a surgery few years ago. But it saved her life!
Jennifer W says
Thank you for sharing, Crystal! You are so brave! Though I wouldn’t exactly call myself a private person when it comes to face to face interactions – I have no poker face so if I’m sad or upset, people know it – I’m also usually too shy to post super personal stuff ‘out there’ on the Internet.
Please know that I’m adding my prayers for you to all the others and I’m relieved for you that the doctor is less concerned than she might have been.
I also want to say I’m so impressed with your heart for people and the fact that, even in the midst of your pain and uncertainty, you used it as an opportunity to recognize that others around you might be experiencing similar private hurts.
I’ve been there. When I was trying to have my first child in 1999 I had an early miscarriage. It was awful. And sitting in that waiting room with all the happy pregnant people around me while I waited for confirmation of the horrible news I already knew in my heart, was gut-wrenching. We went on to experience 3 years of infertility, and ultimately IVF treatments, before we had our first daughter in 2002. Again, a horrible, horrible time. Our second daughter surprised us by coming along naturally two years later. However, despite nearly 10 years of no contraception, more babies came for us. My husband decided after our second was born that he really didn’t want more kids. I always wanted 3 or 4, so even though we weren’t trying, I always harbored that little bit of hope it would happen anyway. Now I’m 42 and definitely coming to terms with the extreme unlikelihood of that happening. It’s been hard to contemplate the end of my childbearing. Anyway, I guess you didn’t need to know all that, but I do understand those emotions you have run through in the past several days. (And I did have my own ‘abnormal’ pap scare before my kids were born as well. So scary!)
Praying for you! All the best,
Jennifer
Crystal Paine says
Thank you so much for your sweet words of encouragement! This comment really blessed me. Thank you for taking the time to share. These were words I needed to hear today!
Jennifer says
Oh sister, I’m so sorry you went through this. So scary, especially since Jesse’s mother died of cervical cancer.
Do they know yet how they’re going to remove the mass? I had precancerous cells on my cervix before I had Michael so my gyno did a loop electrosurgical excision. If that’s what they do, you’ll get through it fine. I’m a big baby and I managed okay.
Wishing all of you peace and good health
Crystal Paine says
They’ve told me that they think it will be a simple and straightforward procedure and they are hopeful that the recovery time will be quite short. I’ve never had surgery before other than getting a mole removed and my wisdom teeth removed, so I don’t have a lot of experience with all of this, so your comment encouraged me!
Kelly Cox says
Thank you for sharing. God is so good. He uses you in awesome ways to bless others, me included. Praising Him for best case scenario. Blessings…
Nancy says
Your post struck a painful chord with me…I’m so glad & happy for your outcome but the pain I have hidden so deep inside me has arisen.
11 years ago at the age of 33, I was diagnosed with cervical cancer,y son was a baby not even 1 year old & I had only been married to my husband for not even 2 years, all our plans of extending our family (I had 2 older daughters from a previous marriage) dissolved around us. The joy in my life began to evade me… ‘What is the worst case scenario in all of this’ my husband asked ‘ I might die’ was response.
Fast forward 11 years…I’m now clear of cancer, a radical hysterectomy dealt with that, so no chemotherapy or radiotherapy but it also took away my ability to have more children & even now that hurts so much.
But I’m alive & get to see my children grow up & I now have a beautiful 3 year old granddaughter… I am blessed & so are you, much love to you & your family Xxx
Crystal Paine says
{Hugs!} I am so sorry… but thank you for sharing so authentically and vulnerably in this beautiful comment. It blessed me.
Melissa A. says
I am happy to hear that everything turned out okay!!
Suzanne says
Crystal – this brought back memories of my own health crisis. I did end up having cervical cancer but it was caught very early and I did have to have a hysterectomy. I was already in my 40s and not planning to have any more kids so I was okay with that decision. My situation was a little different: I hadn’t been to my gynecologist for over 8 years because I was embarrassed about my weight. Thank God I went when I did (God whispered to me that I needed to go – that’s the best way to describe it). So, if there’s anyone reading this that is putting off their exams because they are embarrassed about whatever, please don’t wait!
So glad you are OK, Crystal. Blessings to you!
Takeya duncan says
I love you and your blog. I’m so glad of the new and pray for your recovery
Rhonda says
So glad you are going to be okay. Thanks for sharing your story–it’s a reminder that we should not take anything for granted and also a reminder that we should pay attention when our bodies are trying to tell us something. It’s so easy to put everyone else first!!!! Take care!
Susan in St. Louis says
Thanks for sharing; I appreciate your vulnerability. I will be praying for you and your family as you deal with this, and now know to pray about the secondary infertility as well.
If you haven’t heard of it, you might want to look into MTHFR – http://mthfr.net/
Blessings!
Christine says
Glad your ok Crystal! A similar situation happened to me when I was 6 months pregnant. Pre-cancerous cells needed to be removed right away during my pregnancy. My ob/gyn was more upset about it than I was. God gave me peace about the whole thing and I knew I was going to be ok. The procedure was uncomfortable and I almost passed out during it as I as flat on my back. The nurses had to give me water right away and hold me up afterwards. God always holds us up!
Kelly @ New Leaf Wellness says
Your openness and heart are inspiring. Thanks for sharing, Crystal.
Jamie says
Thank you for your openness, Crystal.
Maria says
Thank you for sharing! Praying for you and your family. So glad to see how the Lord provided dear friends in a time of need!
Debbie says
I’m so glad your results came out as a blessing! God has such a way of preparing all the details in just the right way, such as your news coming as your friends were arriving. What a great support to have in such a scary time.
Krystle says
When I was diagnosed with scary placenta problems, the stories with happy outcomes gave me so much encouragement. It is so sweet that you were willing to share your story and I’m glad everything is alright! 🙂
Renee says
praying for you and your family and praising God with you for the news that it’s not cancer. Thank you for sharing.
Annie Kate says
So thankful for your best case scenario! And it’s wonderful that God sent friends to be with you.
And thank you for the reminder to be there for others. I need to do this even in my own hard times, and I’m grateful for the help others have given me.
Sarah says
Crystal – Thank you as always for being brave enough to share your real-life story and words of encouragement with others. I pray that you will continue to receive positive news, and that no matter what life presents you with, that you will always believe God is there with you.
Marlene says
Dear Crystal,
Thank you for being brave enough to share your story with us. I am so glad that your story has a hopeful positive outcome. I lost my father-in-law recently and yes we all have heartache in our lives. I am so thankful for family and friends who are there in our times of greatest need and pull us out of the depths of despair. What would we do without them?
Theresa L says
Thanks so much for sharing! And I’m glad your story has a happy ending, but I know even if it hadn’t, you would still be trusting in God. You have that kind of faith. Finally, praise God for faithful friends who stand by us! They are a gift and a blessing!
On an unrelated note, where did you get those adorable purple sandals?! I love them!
patti says
So glad you are alright. Thanks for sharing your story. It was very touching and you are a lovely writer. Everthing can change in an instant. Personally, I know I strive to be kind and grateful. You already are:)
Kate Delgado says
Thats beautiful and refreshing! Thank you for sharing. You didnt say this, but I can see how God worked in you, through this. I love hearing about Gods provisions and reminding us all about the need for community.
[email protected] says
Something similiar happened to me…………..I was told that it was precancer…….I think the terms doctors use can scare you to death when really its just some abnormal cells that can be removed without reoccurence. Well I just hope that is your case like mine. May God keep you and bless you during this time!!
Ami says
Hi Crystal,
I was welling up as I read this. I had a similar experience a few years back and it’s altered my family plans significantly (I was 22 at the time), so I know all too well the emotions you describe.
I’m so glad you got good news! I’ll be thinking of you, good luck with your surgery.
Ami
Janet says
Dear Crystal,
Read your post with tears. I was in a similar situation. My prayers are assured. Take care & God bless.
Jody says
Oh wow Crystal, this is such a loaded post. I can only imagine the complete roller coaster of emotions you and your family have been on these past few days. I am so glad for the good news you ultimately received regarding the mass and the method of removal. I appreciate your vulnerability in sharing how you processed and dealt with the news you received.
You and your family will be in my prayers as you walk through the rest of this. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been to hear those words and then having to share them with your husband with such a close association to the deep loss he experienced. My heart goes out to you guys. I know the outcome is totally different than that loss but the emotions I can only imagine the whole experience has raised I’m sure will draw you guys even closer to each other and to your Heavenly Father. Definitely praying for you guys as you go through.
One of the things that I have always deeply admired about you and I have always thought you have done a great job at is your willingness and follow through with imagining what it must be like for others going through various trials. Your heart is so open already to others pain and with this post you’re already demonstrating this experience will serve to enhance that part of you that sees beyond your own circumstances and into the pains of others at an even deeper level.
I have seen you mention secondary infertility before but was unsure if that was previous and didn’t realize it was current. That is not an easy thing to deal with and not an easy thing to share. I know somewhat of that pain in a different way. I am not glad that you have experienced /are experiencing any of the things you are going through but I am so glad you chose to share with all of us. I will be praying for you as you go through the tough moments and rejoicing with you for the testimonies and touchs from God along the way.
Crystal Paine says
Thank you so much for your kind words! I can only imagine how well you know what it’s like to wait at the doctor’s office for test results. I thought of you this weekend and how much heaviness and burden you carry around. I prayed specifically for you this morning as you walk this long road. You are loved!
The Mommom says
So glad you had good news.
Please pray that I do as well.
Like you, I have symptoms of sorts that suggest issues with my lungs,
Cough, discomfort near my collar bone and hip pain. Maybe I’m paranoid, I hope. Thanks so much.
Heidi Dutson says
So very glad you’re ok! I’ve lost two aunts and a step-dad to cancer and two of my very good friends are survivors. When I first started to read your post, my heart just dropped! Again, I’m so glad your news is good and (selfishly) glad you’re going to be around with your inspirational posts! Love you and your family so much!
Cynthia Berg says
So glad to hear that your news was good, and thankful that your family and friends were able to be there for you.
Montana Maia says
Crying happy tears for you and your family. Now is the time to live fully. Say the things that are on your mind. Hugs sent your way!
Jean in Calif. says
I am going through something similar. The doctor says I have a mass on the lining of my uterus. I am 60 years old and I went to the doctor because I was spotting a little and I have not had a period in years. I have been through the biopsy, the ultra sound and blood test. I am now waiting for my blood pressure to go down some before they can do a D&C to see what it is.
I am so glad that you had good news.
Crystal Paine says
Let me know what you find out. I prayed for you this morning.
Katie @ I choose brave says
Wow, it’s amazing to me how our lives can be shaken so quickly. We never really know what tomorrow holds. What a great reminder to appreciate and be thankful for every healthy day we are given. And I am so glad you can see the little blessings, His fingerprints, in all of it!
Paula says
I love that the Lord orchestrated your friends to be there for you exactly when you needed them most. What a blessing.
Thank you for sharing your story. Though it has a happy ending, you showed how to have grace under pressure, and deal moment-by-moment when the hard times come.
Very inspirational.
Adrienne Bogatie says
I am so glad you had a positive outcome, even though I have four kids, and I am not planning any more, when I was told I needed a hysterectomy, the thought of not being able to have more kids hit hard, I have an idea of what you were feeling! In Judaism we have two words that describe how or relationship with G-d should be, Emunah which is faith, faith that there is a G-d and Bitachon, trust that G-d knows best. This applies to all people, if you pray and believe then all outcomes are the right ones for you.
Stay well and stay healthy. Pap smears and gynae exams should be done every 3 years max, yearly if possible.
Carol says
PRAYERS for you and your family. I have also been convicted of needing to listen more and just be there. Know we all love you
Erin@TheHumbledHomemaker says
Crystal, thank you so much for sharing this beautiful post. I was in tears as I read it. At first, it seemed we had come at the “wrong time.” We even contemplated getting a hotel that night (we didn’t tell you!), but I am so glad we didn’t. I am so glad we were all there together to cry and pray and love on each other. Love you, friend, and I will continue to pray!
Teresa says
As a cancer survivor and now at age 41 living with heart failure I am in tears reading your post. So glad your news was better than you expected. I have 6 kids and they worry every time I have a hard day. Hold your little ones close. As you know every day counts!
Kelly says
I’m so very glad ur ok!
I love reading your blog posts.. I like your thinking process & honesty on all issues!
I’m so very happy that you DO have a happy ending..in so much of the world.. Even on Internet it’s so terriable that I am VERY thankful that this is good news!!!
Lisa says
So thrilled you got the good news! I can only imagine what your hubby was feeling. I received the bad news 15 years ago. But it was good because we caught it early enough to avoid chemo. Shortly afterwards, I spoke about this and urged women to pay attention to their health. If I hadn’t been so diligent my story may have been different. Please, please heed your body’s signals.
Whitney says
What sort of signals?
steve cousins says
You are such a genuine and transparent person. You aren’t afraid to be real. It’s what makes you such a model for the rest of us. God has put you right where you are for a reason. You can’t imagine how your courage inspires the friends you’ve never met. Hang tough, we need you and He has your back.
Rebecca C says
Oh Crystal! We will be praying for you and your upcoming surgery – and that the Lord will bless your womb again! So happy that you had good news in the midst of this tough news! Thank you for sharing your heart it the middle of all this! The Lord has really been teaching me about reaching out to others/making time for others who are hurting and/or need someone to listen or spend time with them. Thanks for the reminder and encouragement to keep caring for others in tangible ways!
Lauren says
Hi I am 30, and am just curious what the femine issues were that made you call your doctor. Sorry if it’s tmi, I just don’t know what to look out for. Thanks, Lauren
Kimber @ Let's Do Some Good Today says
Oh Crystal, I don’t know you “in real life”, but as a long-time reader, when I saw the title of this post, I actually stopped breathing for a moment. As a fellow young mom who wanted more children (but had to have a hysterectomy last year at 29), I am so, so, SO glad that this news isn’t as bad as it could have been. I am hopeful and prayerful for you that the surgery goes well. And yes, I know it’s personal – but please, please keep us posted. You will have prayers on your behalf going up from all over the world. All you need to to is ask.
Kimber @ Let's Do Some Good Today says
P.S. To anyone who happens to be reading through this thread, looking for comfort … the same applies to you. Just ask. There is a lovely community of ladies here to cheer you on and encourage you. Many of us have even been down the same hard path before.
Andrea says
You don’t know how happy I was to hear that you are going to be ok. I am so glad those kids aren’t going to have to worry about losing their mama and your husband losing his precious wife. I would miss you and your blog so much if anything happened to you!
Heather says
Today my son was admitted to our children’s hospital for his second bone morrow transplant. The last three years have been long.
I’m thrilled your story had a happy ending. I wouldn’t wish cancer on anyone!!
Prayer is extremely powerful and support is key!!!
Joy says
Hugs to you Heather and your son. What a brave little boy he must be to endure this for so long! No one should have to go through this, especially a child. Prayers to you and your family.
Anna says
Prayers for your family. So thankful you were able to have friends and family surround you during difficulty times. I also just want to say thanks for being an encouragement to me. I’ve had the “Choose Joy” tshirt in my head and it has been such a great reminder in the midst of starting teaching a new school year when we are facing major budget cuts, lots of changes, etc.
Sarah @The Teacher's Wife says
Thanks so much for sharing, Crystal. I’m so glad that you got some good news, but I can imagine the scary thoughts/feelings as you waited between appointments. God sure has a ways of using our own struggles to make us more sensitive towards others so that we can love better. I’m so glad you were surrounded by support when you needed it so much!
Brighid says
Thank you for sharing all of this. You are so, so right to remind us that we do need to set aside our worries and care for others. This year, I’ve had two family members die. It’s a very hard, real lesson to learn but it is simple: love now, care now.
Michelle says
I’m so thankful God gave you a good result! I wanted to say my heart was beating so fast reading this post, and I’m truly glad your story went the way it did! I’m so grateful for your blog but what’s more, just your testimony! Thanks for being open and honest – reading of other Christ-like women on the internet is such a blessing =) Crystal, my prayers are with you!
Kristen says
Wow, what a scary experience. So glad it had a positive ending for you! And thank you for sharing it with us! Also, thanks for mentioning your secondary infertility…it’s something many women struggle with but many keep quiet about. Thanks for always being a blessing and inspiration to all of us readers!
Deb W says
I remember this all too well, only I was 30 with 2 little boys and a newborn in a new city with NO SUPPORT system at all, and thought I had breast cancer…a very unkind doctor, and a husband who’d started a new job. This is scary stuff! Glad you are ok, and great points in this post.
Anne says
Oh My Goodness! How awful and scary for your children, husband, and you. Poor Jesse, too; I can’t imagine the anxiety he suffered. I pray for you (almost!) every day because you’re changing the world, and I will continue my prayers.
Last year my husband had some suspicious blood test results and we wondered if it could be cancer, too. Those few days where we waited for more lab work and doctor’s appointments were horrible.
Finally, I assumed Jesse and you were content with your family size and three children was your choice. I NEVER imagined you hoped for more children and are battling secondary infertility. It shows how we should not assume these things.
Wendy@Your Dream Realized says
Crystal, I’m glad you did share this and I’m glad it was a happy ending! I have been having some feminine issues as of late and after reading this I will be calling the doctor tomorrow.
This week my 7-year-old son was diagnosed with various special needs and disabilities. It rocked our world, but thankfully I do have people who have supported and encouraged me during this trial. Like you said, it makes me want to reach out and help those who need comfort, since I’ve been so comforted. I’m also praying how God can use this trial to glorify Him and encourage others.
Crystal Paine says
{Hugs!} I’m so sorry it was a rough week. And YES! make that appointment!
Wendy@Your Dream Realized says
Thanks!
Kimber @ Let's Do Some Good Today says
Best of luck, Wendy! I know how hard that call is. I’ve had to make it too. But the sooner you get checked out, the sooner the doctor can put your mind at ease, or begin helping. <3
Wendy@Your Dream Realized says
Thanks Kimber for the encouragement!
Rachel Contreras says
I have sat in the ultrasound waiting room during four miscarriages wondering if each of the very pregnant women knew what gifts they were carrying. I have also sat in the same ultrasound waiting room waiting to see how bad my sons heart defects were, wondering if anyone else was pregnant with a child that they were already praying to God about the heart surgery their son would have after birth. I have had those appointments that have literally turned my world upside down. God has carried us through and will continue to sustain us through these challenges. It has made us see people in a whole new way. We love life more because of the struggles.
Wendy@Your Dream Realized says
Amen!
Elizabeth Kamm says
Dear sweet Crystal! I am so sorry you went through this but am so glad you had caring friends by your side. Love you girl! Will keep praying for you!
Kathy says
Thank you for sharing this! I went though my own struggles with not having answers and being scared of what my prognosis could be. It also turned out to be an ‘easy fix’ with a simple surgery and fairly easy recovery. But the not knowing is always so very scary. I’m so thankful that you got good news, and please, don’t ever be afraid to share it! You are human and you have struggles and fears and deserve the love and support of your friends and family just like anyone else does. I wish you a quick recovery and continued good health!
Joy says
I get ultrasounds every six months to screen for liver cancer. Every. Six. Months. I’ve been living with stage four liver disease and chirosis for 15 years, which comes with a high risk of cancer. Meanwhile I’ve seen young, healthy, people suddenly, inexplicably, contract and die of cancer. I sit and wonder how I’ve dodged this bullet, or I freak out that it will be my turn next, then I pray and pray and engender my life is in God’s hands and I trust Him, live or die I trust Him.
Joy says
Remember*
Mackenzie says
Love and prayers to you Crystal ♡ I had to have ultrasounds due to cysts on my ovaries and it was the worst feeling in the world not knowing if they were benign or not. I wish we could meet in real life, I would give you a big hug and let you know that everything will be alright.
Christie says
Thank you so much for sharing and letting us in on your struggles. Your words are encouraging and so relatable ( I thought and felt many of the same things when I had a little scare). I am so thankful to hear you got positive news.
April says
Well said and timely! Thank you for being so honest and open. The power of prayer and friendship is so strong. Prayers for you and your family as you continue to navigate unchartered territory.
Laura Cross says
So happy you got good news. Hope your surgery goes smoothly.
Alexis says
Crystal,
Thanks for sharing. A family member of mine just found out she has cancer at one of her routine doctor’s visits. Although it is terrible news, they are hopeful they can remove it with surgery. Things like this always remind me how bless we should feel when we have a “normal/boring” day. I often take my health for granted, but am trying to be better. So glad you’re okay.
Kelsie says
Your story was all too familiar…I’m just now “working” on recovering from surgery 3 weeks ago. I found a lump in my hip in May, and like you, told myself it was nothing….but I did get it checked out and after going through ultrasound and biopsy, telling myself it was “nothing,” it was confirmed as a high grade liposarcoma on June 30th (yes, that means “fat cancer,” every girl’s dream 😉 ) Surgery was on July 31 but they don’t think I will need further treatment, beyond regular checkups. I am grateful….and grateful that you got checked out and that the prognosis is so good! I am praying for the next steps to be clear and for peace and faith and joy through it all. He is not surprised…and He is GOOD. 🙂
Amy @ DebtGal says
You make such a great point about never knowing what burdens others might be carrying at any given moment. It’s a great reminder to give people the benefit of the doubt.
Sarah says
Wow. So glad this story has a happy ending. I’m so sorry to hear of your infertility struggles – I’ve been reading the blog since you were pregnant with Silas and assumed you were done. Hugs and prayers for this situation.
Lisa says
It is a scary thing to be facing the possibility of cervical cancer and hysterectomy. I am glad you shared so we can all pray for you and your family.
Thank you for reminding us to be considerate of others experiencing loss
and health issues.
Victoria says
Thank you for your braveness in sharing your story. Praise the Lord for getting good news but hugs and prayers to you and your family as you continue to walk down this path.
wendy says
Thank you for sharing – so glad you are doing well!! Praise Jesus!!
janieK says
Crystal, thank you so much for sharing such a personal story. I am so glad the news was not as bad as you were expecting! I will pray for your health issue to be resolved quickly and with as little pain as possible.
I’ve been through some similar situations too, as well as the fertility issues. It helps to know there are other women who are dealing with the same things.
Amanda L says
Thank you so much for sharing this! I love how you are so real all the time. I will be praying that your surgery goes well and you recover quickly!
Kandace says
So glad you got good news. Terrifying. Prayers for you and yours, and good health.
Crystal says
WOW God! Thank you for sharing your Praise to God!
I would encourage you to add “10 Hours to Live” by Brian Wills to your reading list – God tells us “By His stripes, you WERE healed” – God has already healed each and everyone of us – He is waiting on us to receive our healing and to claim it! Thank you Lord!!
Tina says
Thank you for your openness and bravery in sharing. Please keep us all posted in the coming weeks!
Susan says
Wishing you the best and praying for you and your family.
Shannon says
So glad you’re okay!
Cris says
Wow Crystal, what a big scare! It’s easy for us reading a blog to assume things we don’t know and I just thought you might have already decided not to have any more kids due to the amazing growth of your blog, increasing speaking engagements, etc. I had no idea you were having secondary infertility, I assumed it was something that happened early on in your marriage.
I know the feeling of wanting more kids and not being able to have them, in my case not due to infertility but as I shared with you at the Arlington conference, due to many different problems during my marriage. I’m slowly working on accepting this and having my son to hug and kiss everyday sure makes it a lot easier. My husband says it’s about rejoicing in the good things we have.
So glad all is going to be well, keep us posted so we can keep praying for you!
Alison says
I’m so happy and grateful for you and your family. The power of prayer is amazing! I went through something similar when I was in my late twenties. Everything turned out to be alright. But I could not have made it through without God and the support of my family and friends. Thank you for sharing your story.
Kim says
Crystal,
When my GYN was speaking ovarian CA over me a few years ago, I called several prayer lines for prayer, as well as having my pastors & elders pray. God answers prayer!! She told me several times later (after she’d cut me open) that she still couldn’t believe she didn’t find any cancer.
Just as Jesus spoke to the fig tree (Mark 11: 12-14, 20-26) & told it “Let no one eat from you ever again,” I speak to that mass in your body & command it to dry up, wither away, & bear no more unhealthy fruit in Jesus Name! I curse it at it’s very root, it’s very seed & I command it to dry up in Jesus Name!
Elizabeth says
So sorry Crystal…but even if you end up loosing what you do not want to loose…life can go on. I lost ALL my female parts at age 35…no other choice. I am 63 now and yes, I have some other issues, may or may not be related to loosing that part of me…but I have a good chance of living a long time. Glad they think it is not cancer…at least that!! KEEP EATING VERY HEALTHY!! I do think it can help!!
Vickie says
Such a scary post …I’m so glad that everything will turn out for the best. You have a great support system and you are very strong. Thank God prayers were answered! I’ll be praying for you for a quick recovery from the surgery.
Angela says
I’m sorry to hear about what your going through Crystal, but praise God your news was better than you expected!
Tracy says
I am so sorry you and your family have to have this experience! Amazing that you can see the hardships of others as you have your own journey. You are a blessing to many. Hugs to you and your sweet family. Husbands hate when they can’t fix things. God Bless you all!
Jennifer says
I think this is your best post yet. Even though I come here for deals and money saving tips, this by far has been your best, most relatable post for me. Thank you for sharing.
Michele says
So glad that the doctors had positive news for you! And thank you again for blessing us with a peek inside your life that’s a wonderful reminder to all of us. You are a blessing to us all, take care of yourself and get better! More prayers coming your way.
Ashley B says
Wow, Crystal! What a whirlwind for you and your family! I am so very thankful that everyone’s prayers were answered positively 🙂 Cancer is no joke and is an extremely scary diagnosis, even if it is only a threat/possibility. Thank you for sharing your story. We live in a world that fears the “Big C” and I lost my dad to it last year (he was 52, I was 26) and came to feel like our world is too full of tumors, malignant growths, and ineffective chemo. Thank you for reminding me that God is faithful and hope is not lost. You are brave, Crystal! <3
Laney says
Thank you for sharing, Crystal. I am so glad that your news was positive.
Ellen says
thank you for sharing your story and for revealing to all of us the need to bless others with our support. I am glad that your friends were there to surround you in your time of need! Will be thinking of you in the coming days as you await the results. Peace to you and yours!
NeeNah B says
Thank you for sharing your story. My heart hurts for you & your family. Thank the Lord that you received much better news than you anticipated. My prayers are with you. I know the hurt that comes with infertility, and the hurt that follows when you walk into the ob/gyn’s office for any reason other than a pregnancy. My husband and I experienced 3 miscarriages, followed by infertility. After 5 years of miscarriage & treatments for infertility, we mutually agreed that it was just not something we could emotionally handle. We prayed about it and gave the idea of having a family over to the Lord. We just prayed that His Will be done in our lives. That’s when He opened our eyes to adoption. I had never really considered it before. I just wasn’t ready to give up the idea of hearing the baby’s heartbeat, feeling the baby kick, and experiencing what I foolishly assumed was my God-given right (as a woman) to experience childbirth. When He opened my eyes to adoption, He took away the thoughts I had been clinging to, and showed me that adoption was His plan for us all along. We have been blessed with 2 precious boys through adoption in the past 10 years, and are currently on the waiting list for our 3rd adoption. Sorry for such a long comment, but your post really spoke to my heart.
Lorrie says
Praying for you and your family and will continue to do so. Praying for healing, peace and that you feel God’s loving arms wrapped around you throughout this whole journey. Lorrie
MaryBeth says
Thank you Crystal for sharing and being honest. It’s amazing how what you think is just going to be a normal doctor’s appointment turns out to be exactly the opposite. We had that with my daughter when she was 2. The doctor just popped in — she was there to just get some make-up vaccinations — and wanted to listen to her and visit. She heard a flutter while listening to her heart — it was something new she had never heard before. That set off a bunch of very scary tests at the children’s hospital before we got the all clear that it just a standard heart murmur and that she would likely outgrow it. Now at age 11, she is very active & the murmur is gone.
I will pray that everything continues to go well for you and that maybe, just maybe you will someday have another child (I didn’t realize you were suffering from secondary infertility — thanks for sharing that; many people keep that to themselves)
Thanks again for being honest and reminding us of the power of prayer.
Jessica says
Oh gosh, what an ordeal. I’m glad that your condition is not serious. It’s also a good reminder to all of us to go in for our preventive annual exams. My aunt for over a year had been told that her painful cramps and menstrual problems was “hemorrhoids.” She was a nun so wasn’t at risk of pregnancy or infections… finally after about a year and a half, she was diagnosed with metastatic uterine cancer. She got treatment and was cancer free for 9 years before she developed pancreatic cancer and passed away just before my youngest was born.
About being in the doctor’s office with problems when all you can see is everyone’s happiness, I’ve been there too. I had a miscarriage between my first and second kids. Then when I got pregnant after that, I required a lot of extra monitoring throughout the entire pregnancy. Then my Hashimoto’s was diagnosed, so when I unexpectedly got pregnant with my third child (first menstrual cycle – I was breastfeeding and my son was 18 months old)… I had to go in for a LOT of extra monitoring. I was either at the endocrinologist’s office or the ob’s office every week for blood tests.
Take care and peace be with you as you get the care you need to be healthy.
Emily says
Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing this. I know you are private and this was way out of your comfort zone! You are right, we need to be more mindful of those going through hidden hard times! Hugs & prayers!
carol says
Thank you very much for sharing. I am so happy to hear the good news! Please keep us posted about your next appointment so we can pray.
Jackie says
I was at the Dr this morning for a routine pap and something else is going on. Now have to wait for the results, but you articulated a lot of went through my head. Crazy that this is what you posted today! Glad your news was positive!
Crystal says
I’m glad you’re story has a nice ending. I was 30 when I had one of those types of doctor’s appointments. We did have to tell our young kids about the cancer since I needed treatments. All I can say is that God gives you strength though each step of life for whatever you are going through.
annie says
Love and prayers for our sweet friend. Saw you on periscope…fantastic!
Ramona says
It’s very scary to get uncertain news about a medical problem. Glad everything worked out and I am sure you will have plenty of prayers coming your way today! Thank you for being so honest about your experience, I am sure you will touch someone who is going through a similar medical problem.
Jennifer T says
Crystal, My stomach did a flip flop for you hearing that news. I had a similar experience while pregnant with our daughter, who is now a healthy 6yo. I was alone at the maternal/fetal medicine office (which was nerve-wracking to begin with) when they gave me a barrage of potentially awful scenarios and ordered rounds of immediate tests. It was terrifying. Though she was born at 28 weeks, our situation worked out as well as we ever could have hoped and I was relieved to read that yours did as well.
Thank you for sharing and giving us all hope and encouragement that God does provide us with just what we need, even when we don’t know it’s what we need.
God bless,
Jennifer
Erin @ My Mommy World says
I’m so, so sorry for all that you’ve been through the past few days! I got a little teary reading about it….I’ve been reading your blog for so long that it seems like you are one of my friends.
I’ll be praying for you and your sweet family 🙂
SH says
I’ve got a mammogram tomorrow after I drop the kids for their first day at school. I’m so scared and can totally relate. Any prayers are appreciated.
Crystal Paine says
I just prayed for you. Please let me know how it goes.
SH says
Thank you Crystal! I had my mammogram this morning and then they wanted an ultrasound. I cannot describe how panicked and scared I was waiting. I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulders as everything was normal! Now, I’m off to go lend my support to those in need. Thank you for this timely post. You are a blessing to me!
Crystal Paine says
I am REJOICING with you in your good news!! {Hugs!}
Michelle S. says
Crystal, my heart goes out to you and your family during this tough time. I am so glad to hear that your doctor doesn’t believe it to be The Big C. It is quite scary to travel that road and I have personally been down it. You are such an inspiration, not only today and through this but always. I wish more people thought as you do and practiced what you live.
Jill Williamson says
I am SO GLAD that it was NOT cancer! Prayers for you!
jostlen says
I’m in tears! I’m so glad everything turn out ok! Sending you and your family hugs and prayers
Janet T says
Crystal, my heart just sank when I began reading your post. So thankful that its not what you thought it might be. I feel like you are a friend, as I am sure many of your loyal readers do too. Lord, keep Crystal in your mighty grip. May she continue to feel your peace as she walks through this to complete healing.
Kariane says
I’m glad to hear that things worked out as well as they could. How incredibly scary!
And thank you for the take away message. Indeed, we all need to care for each other. No one needs to carry their burdens alone.
Renee says
This hit very close to home as I read this. I had an ultrasound last week for some female issues also. I had some abnormal lab work and they immediately had me do an ultrasound, and I have a mammogram tomorrow in Franklin. I have not heard back yet from my ultrasound, but because of the facility I’m having the mammogram done at, I will be able to get the results back from the mammogram before I leave. Thankful to hear that your results were returned with answers to prayer, and that everything was okay.
Charlene E says
Also cried when I read this. I had a similar situation a year ago with a cyst on one of my ovaries and I am older so the doctors were really concerned it would be cancer. I told them all that I doubted it would be. I just love my life and think I will live on for quite some time. Silly me! I know the worst can happen at any time, but I’m an optimist. After removing both ovaries and fallopian tubes I did not have any kind of cancer. It’s easier now that all my children are grown ups and I know my God will always keep me in his memory to put me where I belong, heaven or a future paradise earth. I am so glad you will be well. Rest when you can. Love that family.
Diana says
I am so happy for you. I got teary-eyed reading this. I’ve been a lurker of your site for years and years, this is my first time actually commenting, I thought it was worth the time to let you know that you reach a lot of people and even though I don’t know you, I somehow care about your well being.
You have such a beautiful family, God bless you and yours always!
Meagan M says
I am 29 years old and was diagnosed in March at 33 weeks pregnant with breast cancer. I finished chemo last week and will proceed with surgery next month. I know that road you have walked and it’s a hard one. But have faith, God will get you through this. I’ll be praying for you! Hugs!
Victoria says
I admit it I had to scroll to the end before reading the middle just to know what the prognosis was in the end. I am glad you got to find out so soon. I am so glad you had others around you to not only support you but make the waiting time go faster. Prayers for whatever they do next with the mass.
Elise @frugalfarmwife.com says
Oh my goodness Crystal how scary! I’m so glad that it looks like everything will be fine after all. You’ll be in my prayers regardless!
Stacy @ A Delightful Home says
I’m sorry you had to go through that, Crystal! So thankful you are ok and that you had such great support throughout the difficult days of waiting.
Kim says
Oh Crystal, I cried as I read this. I can related as I was actually reading this in the waiting room of the third breast surgeon / oncologist I have been to in the past 9 months as no one can seem to figure out if there was a “typo” on my MRI report when they said that “bilateral breast cancer seen,” or is the lump I can feel something that we need to have removed immediately, as in 9 months ago when I first found it. :/
I know the anxiety of the unknown, but I will be praying for you for your surgery and especially for your family! All of your readers will be lifting you up in prayer. You’ve got this! Hugs to you! 🙂
Yvonne Perez says
Thank you for sharing . May God bless you . You are truly inspiring !
Sarah says
I’m glad it’s not cancer! I hope it all goes well and you will be healthy
jm says
Interestingly enough, we have been dealing with secondary infertility for 5 years too, AND i’ve had some odd female problems that i have had checked out (they amount to nothing…but i STILL wonder what is causing them.). This gives me energy/courage/motivation to keep chasing answers…to keep scheduling appointments to see if they can find the WHY of the symptoms I’ve been having. Thanks so much for sharing. I’m so happy for your good news.
Cyndi says
So sorry that all of this happened…praying for you! Thank you for sharing your story. It gave me hope and comfort. My daughter had an ultrasound to confirm a nodule on her thyroid Saturday. She is now facing a biopsy and just turned 30. My husband’s mom had thyroid cancer, so we are all a little on edge. Hoping she gets good news, too!
Christine says
I’m glad you wrote this post. I am not much older than you and last year I had been having some odd “women” things going on and went to see my doctor as well. Luckily, it turned out to be nothing like you (a cyst) but it is so important for women to go in and get checked even when you think (and are hoping) it is nothing. Early detection is so crucial in so many different cases and could possible save someone’s life. It is very scary, the thought that something may be wrong but not knowing or finding out later that it is something and early detection could have been possible is much worse.
Jen says
Oh Crystal. You are NOT alone. Ironically, that was the main theme of the message at church this weekend. I found out that I had cervical dysplasia (pre-cancer) at 26, right before Christmas. I had only been dating my now husband for 6 months. And I thought, this is it, I’ve lost my chance at the family I so desired. After the biopsy, it came back Level III/IV, which is not good. However, that Christmas, my now husband proposed and he was with me through it all. I had surgery to remove the affected area and about a year later, I got the message all clear. That same month, I conceived our oldest daughter, who will be 10 this week. I now have her, an almost 8 yo boy and a 5 yo daughter. My pregnancies were difficult and touch and go at times, but I am so blessed and convinced God carried me and my babies through it. Thank you for sharing. I am praying for you and further good news. Again, you are not alone.
JoDi says
I’m so sorry you are dealing with this and so happy that it looks like the best case scenario! I will be praying for you. Thank you for not being afraid to post something this personal. I’ve been having some female problems myself but have been putting off going to the doctor. I’m going to call tomorrow morning and make an appointment. Thank you.
Emily says
Thankful that your news turned out better than you thought. Thank you for sharing. It’s so important to love and support those around us. Great reminder. We really do not know what others are dealing with at any given time. What a blessing that you had that support & friendship & prayer.
Lori says
I’m so glad you posted this!!! I went through a similar appt about four years ago. Mine, thankfully, was not cancer but I had to have a hysterectomy at 34 and this post brought up all those feelings again! It was amazing to know that other woman are going though the same things. I pray that others are blessed from your post.
Praying that they’ll be able to figure out how to treat this quickly!!
Diane says
I’m so sorry for all of this! I am glad you got good news. I’ve also been the infertility patient with a waiting room of women with their baby ultrasound pictures .
Tasha says
Many hugs and sending prayers for you and your family.
Your transparency is why I have grown to love you through your blog.
You are real with real problems and we can all relate to the fears that the unknown can cause.
Thanks for not trying to be perfect…..
authenticity is worth its weight in gold.
Lisa says
You have so much you are meant for, and God has you in such a great place. Rom. 8:28 – Jer. 29:11. Greater things are yet to come!! Praying for complete restoration 🙂
Sue B says
Wow! What a wide eyed roller coaster ride with every type of human feelings and emotions out there experaniced at once. I am so grateful for your openness and your ability to share your story with us. The real need to make and then go to the doctor on a yearly schedule has been reminded in your word for all of us the hear.
Thank the Lord for your faith in him, your family and friends.
Beth says
I don’t think this was a “TMI” post…I think you were just being real. Thank you for being so transparent to your blog readers! Praise God that things did not turn out serious! It’s amazing what those around us are going through and we are not aware of it.
Beeb Ashcroft says
Oh Crystal, I cried reading this. I’m so glad you got the best possible diagnosis; keep us posted on everything. Big, big hugs!
Sarah@TheOrthodoxMama says
Lord have mercy on your handmaid, Crystal. May the peace of God which surpasses all understanding flood your heart.
Karen says
I’m in awe of your brave openness, and have been blessed to read the faith-based words of your experience. I’m so glad that God does what He does and gave you and your family the perfect support at the perfect time, just as He knew you needed.
Thank you for sharing. Now we can all lift you up in prayer as you face surgery and healing. Praying God’s continued blessings on you and your family.
Barb@livingrichlyinretirement says
In addition to reaching out and helping others, I hope that this has made you realize that you are probably your bodies first line of defense and it is your job to pay attention to it’s signals. Unless they are muscle or workout related, twinges, pain, different feelings and tenderness generally MEAN something-that something may not be cancer, but it means your body is not doing it’s normal thing. Stop and pay attention. I’m also hoping that you were already having annual exams, so this is not something that was festering for awhile. We are our best first line of defense.
Diana says
Praying for His peace to continually surround you. Thank you for being willing to share this with us. Even during your turmoil and stress, you still amaze me with encouraging “us” and helping to make us never forget about others who are going through life challenges. Please keep us posted. You have MUCH to share with this world 🙂
kelli says
I have followed this blog for years and your openness to share your story will help so many people today. I also struggled with secondary infertility for years and then was blessed with 2 little ones. God’s plans always work for the best. You are in my thoughts today.
Courtney says
Crystal, I am so glad that you got good news!
Rebecca G says
Sending hugs your way with plenty of extra for your family and friends. Optimism and faith are a powerful combination. 🙂
Melissa says
Thank you so much for sharing this. Thank you for your realness and rawness. We all have real pain and real hurt going on in the midst of us saving money 🙂 It just makes you even more genuine. So glad you got good news.
Christine says
I’m so glad this turned out well for you and that you decided to share. We need good news too!!
JoyG says
I Love how quickly you turned something about you into thinking about others….love your heart…
Jennifer says
Wow Crystal…this really hit close to home, today especially. I had a doctor’s appointment today as well and after finding a large cyst on one of my ovaries last week, I was told today that it wasn’t cancer- thankfully. You are a strong, loving and beautiful person and we will get through this together 🙂
Crystal Paine says
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with something similar, but I’m relieved for you!
Are you having surgery for it? If so, when is yours scheduled? I’ll pray for you!
Jennifer says
So far I don’t have anything scheduled. My doctor wants to wait until the start of October to do another round of testing to see if it grew. But she is optimistic and so am I!!
I will continue to pray for you and your family through this speed-bump in life. Hang in there!!
Kim says
I just prayed that your cyst dissolve in Jesus Name! I had a similar situation & mine was gone on the repeat ultrasound a few weeks later. Praise God!
Jennifer says
Thank you so much Kim!! 🙂
Sarah C says
Thank you for you’re openness and honesty. I just had a breast cancer scare a few weeks ago. After my very first mammogram, I was called to come back for more testing after a mass I could not feel was seen on the mammogram. I too was blessed with good news, it was a cyst and not cancer, but I understand your terror over the what if’s. I realized as I was living through my fears you seldom hear people speak about the testing before the diagnosis; it was difficult to know who to tell, no one wants to think about things like cancer. Praising God for your good news and mine, and continuing to pray with more awareness for all those living through the testing stage and the results, good and bad.
Crystal Paine says
{Hugs!} I’m so sorry you had to go through that… but I’m so grateful that yours was good news, too. And yes, this experience taught me much about the need for more compassion and awareness when it comes to things like this.
Kim says
Crystal, thank you for sharing. I wish you nothing but continued positive news in this regard. That’s the power of prayer.
Jenny says
Wow. Thank you for sharing. Made me cry. Glad the news was better than you thought.
Allyson says
I just cried reading that. Thank goodness for loving friends and family and our loving Heavenly Father
Jill F. says
Someone told me once that relief was the best feeling in the world. After going through my own medical scare several years ago, I have to say it’s the truth. There’s just something so vulnerable about being at the gynecologist and having those *ahem* mildly uncomfortable ultrasounds. I’m so glad your health concerns are turning out better than anticipated. Wishing you much peace and sweet relief this week!
Crystal Paine says
Yes. How true!
lizzy r says
Read this with tears. Praising Him you are ok! Love your heart “It made me think about how many times we’re in situations where someone might be hurting or carrying a heavy burden and we don’t know it. I want to be more sensitive and caring in these situations.”
Crystal Paine says
Thank you so very much for your kind words. Part of me feels like I just got a new lease on life!
Lauren says
Oh my goodness! my heart hurts for you with all of the grief you had to go through but praise God it was not what it could have been. Will continue to lift you and the family up in prayers
Crystal Paine says
Thank you so very much for your sweet words!
Amy F;) says
hugs!!!
prayers 🙂
Crystal Paine says
Thank you so very much!