Guest post from Rachael of Thriving on Thrifty
You all know the different types of moms out there. You have ones like me, the frazzled couponer or you have the “well-put together-latte mom” as I call them.
Now, if you are a latte mom, please know that I am in no way putting you down. If anything, I have a bit of the jealous monster, hence this post. I always seem to write posts on being content, I guess I do so to remind myself of this important principle…
At the grocery store the other week, I frantically ran through the aisles scouring the shelves to find the items I had strategically planned to purchase with my purse full of coupons. Generally, I am a little more put together, but this was a particularly rough day.
As my children said “Hi!” to everyone in the store from the cart, I bent down to pick up items my son had so graciously pushed off the shelves onto the floor.
I looked up from my frazzled mess to see a mom come walking by in her yoga pants and Starbucks latte. It was almost in slow motion with cool music playing in the background (as you would see in a movie). She slowly pushed her perfect hair behind her ears and flashed a beautiful smile at her 2-year-old daughter dressed from head to toe in her Baby Gap outfit. She had very few items in her cart along with a large bouquet of beautiful flowers.
All of a sudden the music stops as my son accidentally kicks me in the head and snaps me back to reality.
Of course, the jealous monster starts to rage as I wish I could be her. I start wishing I could slowly browse the aisles picking out whatever looks good and not worry about costs. I wish I could take the time to slowly sip a latte and not worry about the next stop on my “once-a-week” trip into town. I wish my children could be dressed in this season’s trendy new clothes.
But as my child flashes a smile and a quick “hi” at the next passing stranger (yes, he is very outgoing), it reminds me of everything I DO have to be thankful for.
I have two beautiful children who look just as beautiful in last year’s clearance rack as they would in this year’s fashion trends. I have a basket full of food I get to feed my family. I have been blessed with the skills and passion to coupon and deal shop for that food and their clothes (hence, getting it free or very cheap). I have a wonderful, supportive husband who allows me to be able to stay home and raise our children everyday.
What else could I possibly ask for??
And you know what? If I stick to my budget and stay a “couponing mom”, maybe, just maybe I’ll be a “latte mom” some day! On second thought, I would miss the thrill of the couponing and deal-seeking! Only time will tell, but I do know for now I’m going to enjoy my current blessings.
How have you been blessed today?
Rachael is a stay at home mom of 2 beautiful children who looks for ways to save and loves scoring freebies. She is a couponer at heart and loves to share her deal-saving tips at her blog Thriving on Thrifty. Be sure to stop by and say hello!
Natalie says
I was actually thinking something very similar the past couple of days. We’ve had several lovely trips this summer & on social media we look like it’s been all fun & games, however it doesn’t show that my husband has been working almost non-stop the past two weeks & we’ve barely seen him. It also doesn’t show the dirty house & how I’ve envied others who seem to be more patient with their kids (two weeks without a much break is wearing on me). Don’t get me wrong, our summer HAS been wonderful, but the pictures only tell part of the story.
Jordan says
So true! -Jordan, MSM Team
Cassandra Roth says
I love this post, and I’m a “latte mom”. Yes, some of my days are crazy, but I think I fool the general public by only taking my children to the store when it’s a good day, and that latte? Well, it’s one of my only indulgences. Also, Starbucks card rewards + Starbucks coffee in grocery store sales = free lattes for me. So, you can be a frugal, budget-friendly, yoga pants wearing, Baby Gap buying mom (BTW, Gap card holders regularly get 40% off, and the clearance rack is usually a better deal than secondhand! I’ve purchased onesies, pants, etc. for less than $5 from Baby Gap!). Just food for thought, but you’ve definitely made a new blog follower out of me! 🙂
kariane says
Today I was blessed with a two hours of quiet while my husband took my boys swimming at the local recreation center. When I get time like this, I always feel rejuvenated and more in touch with the blessings in my life.
I wrote about it here: http://everydaymindfulliving.com/2015/02/20/the-importance-of-quiet/
Kelly says
Everytime I read a post which includes the idea that staying home = raising your children it just makes me cringe. Is this woman’s husband not raising their children as well despite the fact that he works? I’d like to think we could get to the point where we acknowledge that ALL parents, working outside the home or not, raise their children.
Theresa L says
This was so timely! Thank you! I’m somewhere between a ‘coupon mom’ and a ‘latte mom’. There are definitely days where I have it all together and can walk coolly down the aisle sipping a coffee and the kids are cooperating and we’re having a great day. My hair, however, quickly reminds me that I’m also very much a coupon mom. We’re on a tight budget as it is, trying to pay off debt, AND save for a big, family trip. Add to all that my penchant for disorganization. Yeah. Latte mom days are few and far between and I do get jealous, but God has blessed me with so much! First, He’s given me His own Son, Jesus! What else do I need? He loves me, even when I’m not perfect. Add to that an awesome husband, 3 beautiful kids, a warm, safe home, 2 cars (neither new, but they run and are paid for), a great extended family, health, an amazing church family….
I could go on and on, but you get the idea. 🙂
Jayleen @ How Do The Jones Do It says
I love your writing style. You had me laughing out loud, for sure!
The other day I went to pick they boy up from middle school and he didn’t show up. I knocked on the door to be let in, talked to the secretary, a teacher, students, and parents before I found him. When we got home, I looked in the mirror and saw a mud splattered face. Yep! I had been power washing all day. My blessing is that I’m comfortable enough in my own skin to just laugh about it! Hey, I was getting stuff done!
Kimberly in So Cal says
I want to love this post because you are finding contentment in what you have, but I feel like it is a mommy wars kind of post with the labels and stereotyping, and I don’t like that.
Lana says
As empty nesters we have quite a bit of disposable income but after I passed the age of 50 I really did not worry too much about what others think of me. I am who I am and I prefer to wear jeans most days but I do my hair and make up every day. I am comfortable in my own skin and am so glad to be in this season of my life!
Paula says
I did enjoy the post and the ideas behind it, even though I am really against all of the labelling we all tend to do. Once you put a label on what kind of mom you are it’s immediately us against them. And most people don’t fit in one label.
I shop sales, store brands and avoid unnecessary expenses to be frugal, but I don’t use coupons because they are almost never for the items I want for my family. When my family ask for ideas for my birthday and Christmas, I ask for Starbucks cards, and that’s how I get my frequent lattes, even with my meager budget.
I have days when I am either hurried or just plain lazy and I look at other moms and think everyone else is so much more put together. But that’s not because I’m frugal, or using coupons, or don’t have the same budget she does. It’s because I didn’t take even a few minutes to make myself presentable before going out. I’m making more of an effort to do that less often. A big budget and all the latest, expensive clothes aren’t a requirement for looking “put together” when you go out.
Annie Kate says
Such an honest post and I love the popcorn mom comment too!
Our family is going through a hard time right now, and I need to look good so I don’t fall apart. As I walked into the hospital this week I saw my reflection, and I looked like a magazine picture. But I wish I could have been in my grubbies at home with everyone healthy.
There’s always a story, and often it is not what it seems….
Stephanie says
Yeah, I have frequent doctor stuff too- for some reason it is easier to deal with feeling awful if I am not looking like a scrub. I always bring real clothes and my own toiletries even if I can’t use them.
Jen says
Not sure how I would e-mail you… I’m having a really hard time looking at your blog.
It is going really slow. And it freezes my computer. I’m not sure if anyone else is having issues. I only have issues on your site. I think the problem is there are video or sound advertisements… they freeze my computer or make it unresponsive to the point I can’t scroll down the page at all. It keeps trying to play over and over so I can’t just wait for it to play through once to view your page. This took me about 15 minutes to be able to type it because it is locking up the place I can type.
I’ve viewed your blog for years so it makes me so sad to not be able to read your blog anymore 🙁
Sally says
Yes! For me the site loads just fine but I have to read it with the sound on my computer on mute because the advertising keeps trying to break through. The other day, I had MSM on my computer and walked away. I kept hearing someone talking from an empty room. When I checked, the ad was playing even though I did not click it on.
Crystal Paine says
There shouldn’t ever be ads playing with sound. If that happens PLEASE let me know so I can block them. Just email crystal @ moneysavingmom.com and let us know what the ad was and we’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again.
And I’m so sorry for the issues you’re having. I’m forwarding your comment to my ad tech guy and I’m going to see if he can help you out and fix the issue so that it doesn’t keep happening.
Jen says
Thank you! I got an e-mail from your tech person. I think it was a L’Oreal ad. If I hear it again I will let you know! Today it isn’t doing it… of course when I e-mail it starts working ok.
I’m glad I can read your blog again 🙂
Michelle says
This post made me LOL! I have been both moms at times. Those rare moments when I hit SB before going to the grocery store by myself, it’s like a mini vacation!! And there are those times where I have all 3 of my delightful handfuls as my mom calls them 🙂 and by the time I’m done shopping vow we will starve before I take all 3 again 🙂 JK we have a kitchen full of food! It’s fun to see the humor in motherhood, thank you for the laugh Rachael, and it’s also a blessing to ponder our blessings 🙂
Adrienne says
Here’s an idea… Go out just once without your kids and be the latte mom. Its a weird feeling!
Smile at the coupon moms and say about the noisy baby “he’s so precious. I have four at home.” Breeze through the check out and realize that it really is more fun with your whole entourage.
I have had the chance to be the latte mom this year. I lost my baby in utero to a genetic disease last year. It was our third loss. My DH encouraged me to do the things I can’t do with little little ones. So I have gotten sitters for my older childten I have taken several trips in planes across the country.
But I’d still rather have my baby. I am thankful for the ones I have, special needs and all, but there are still three missing. You can keep the lattes.
I know the author of the post was just sharing a fun story and I don’t want to take to too far… But count your blessings sweetie. God has blessed you richly.
Busy Mama says
Thank you for sharing. Everyone has a story – coupon mom and latte mom, alike. And in whatever season, the key is being fully present and content – whether the kids are making “suggestions” as to what would be just perfect in the cart, or whether an opportunity for a leisurely stroll through errands with a few perks thrown in.
We, too, have a daughter whom we have never met, and we are looking forward to finally get to hold her when we get “home.” We miss her incredibly, and she is a definite part of our family and our traditions. When asked, our 15yo and 12yo will say they are in a family of three children. But after 10-1/2 years we remember her with more smiles and fewer tears as her as we hang her Christmas ornaments each year (lovingly sent by a grandmother who feels our loss as acutely and treats her just the same as the grandchildren she has had the joy of knowing here).
brandi says
Haha, I really wanted a decaf latte at the store this morning, but then decided I could come home, brew it there at a fraction of the cost and settle for iced coffee with caramel instead.
While my little one still has a month before he shows his precious face; I’m in the process of stockpiling freezer meals, for his birth- so my decaf coffee could wait 🙂
Kimber says
I have been coupon mom and I’ve been ‘latte mom’ (although I’m not a coffee drinker). Each season has it’s joys and challenges. But I try to look at it that way – a season. During the leaner years, I tried to count my blessings. And as these past years have given me the blessing of more wiggle room in my budget, I try to remember that this too is a season and it may end someday. But no matter where life takes me, I will always be grateful for the coupon mom years. They have taught me to love simply and to be grateful for the little luxuries in life – and to be grateful for seasons where I am able to perhaps bless others a bit. Thank you for the wonderful, thought-provoking post!
Rachael says
Such a wonderful comment. Thanks so much for your kind words. It’s great to hear from someone who has been there and done that and can now look back and appreciate it. I’m so happy you liked the post.
Stephanie says
I just loved this! Right now I’m the two kids under two, still wearing my maternity jeans mom and sometimes it’s hard to see that this is just the phase of life I’m in. Thanks for the reminder to be thankful for my healthy children and not focus on wishing I had a free hand for a latte or a newborn that would tolerate the dairy and caffeine!
Amy says
Before I had my wonderful little boy (1 year old now) I was grocery shopping with latte in hand looking jealously at the exhausted moms trying to grocery shop for their families while wrangling children. We all have someone were jealous of even when we know we should be thankful for the blessings we do have. I so badly wanted to be a mom and it’s likely they so badly wanted some coffee! This post was a great reminder to be thankful for what we have.
Beth says
I think the heart of this piece is contentment with your life no matter what your financial state. Wealthy and well put together moms can struggle just as much with discontentment as the financially struggling stay at home mom. There is ALWAYS something to be discontent about. I think as humans we all want “better” and we all want “more.” Practicing contentment will bring joy to our lives because we will truly be thankful for the things that we have. It’s not an issue of finances as much as it is a heart issue.
Whitney says
I am the latte mom…but I am also the frugal mom! I am super girly and love to look presentable each day…it only takes a few minutes, but it’s all about the accessories that make me appear as if it took longer to get ready. I wear jeans and I rarely wear my hair down, but I might put it in a fast top bun with a glittery headband, dangly earrings, and a scarf. That takes under a minute. I am the mom of a 5 year old boy and 4 month old girl who I love to dress up in boutique clothes…that I find secondhand on eBay…and headbands I buy at Hobby Lobby with a coupon because they’re cheaper and I can switch out the bows! I coupon and shop at Aldi for everything I can.
Tiffany says
I am a latte mom BECAUSE I am also a frugal mom! Best of both worlds. It’s all about balance.
Erika says
Yes, it is possible to be latte mom and coupon mom..I am working mom, coupon mom, latte mom, yoga pants mom who looks horrible in actual yoga pants, and not put together mom with the snotty, wiggly kids who lose a shoe when we go to the grocery store..my latte adds a little bit of bliss to my frazzled but blessed life..p.s..have you tried a chai latte no water with 2 pumps hazelnut and caramel drizzle? Just sayin’.
Crystal Paine says
😉 Love this!
Shauna says
This post made me laugh as I was at the store yesterday buying all new make-up because my five year old dumped my make -up bag accidentally in the toilet. I was thankful I didn’t run into any “latte moms” that morning.
Fun post!
Brandy @ The Prudent Homemaker says
I am so sorry! That is a bummer!
Carla says
I buy whatever I want when I go to the grocery store. I recently had an acquaintance say she was jealous of my grocery cart, because she couldn’t afford the same foods we buy and she has to tell her children no, while I almost always tell mine yes (at the grocery store he is usually asking for a different fresh fruit, different cheeses, and yogurt). The truth is I am jealous of her cart. It’s full of foods for a big family with no food allergies or sensitivities.
There are many reasons my family can afford a large grocery budget, from the fact that we only have one child (we wish we could have more, but that’s just not our family right now) to the fact that we live in a smallish house, with many other factors in between.
I am content with my life and my family. But I think it’s perfectly natural to see someone with a different lifestyle and wonder what it would be like to live it.
Becki @Running with Team Hogan says
What a great reminder! Contentment is something I can struggle with at times as well. Nobody’s got it “all together” even when they look like they do. 😉
annie says
This post made me laugh out loud. Thank you for sharing your story.
Susan says
Sometimes being well put together and perfect is a farce. My cousin had a neighbor who by all appearances had what society deems as “the perfect life”. Annual family pictures, vacations to interesting places, lots of friends and social gatherings. Not particularly what I find perfect but to a lot of people they would think so.
Anyhow, the husband was having an affair, and they had a messy divorce after the house went into foreclosure because they were living beyond their means. Appearances are not always as they seem.
So when the slightest hint of jealousy creeps in (and it happens to all of us at times), look around and remind yourself to be grateful for all of the wonderful things you do have.
mounia says
I totaly get your point and feel tje same so many times a day but then i just put my eyes down at my beautifull 32months little boy with his curly messy hair and know how blessed i am to be the mom and wife that i am today d stop coparing myself to others. What and how i am today is enough for me and my family and i can always grow and be better using my own standard.
Thanks you so much
A faithfull reader from Morocco 🙂
Kristie says
Love the post! Whether it’s politically correct or not to call someone a “Latte mom”, it’s true that we think this way when we are feeling overwhelmed. I appreciate the author’s humor & honesty. A gentle, friendly nudge to some of the comments above: Don’t over analyze. 🙂
sandra says
you hit the nail on the head Kristie, I too loved the post and can relate. everyone feels this way sometimes, we don’t need to over analyze.
Rachael says
I’m glad you enjoyed the post and the humor in it 🙂 It’s always great to hear from others who can relate. No matter what type of mom we are, we are all moms together and just have some of “those days”.
Christal says
I’m the Denim-bookish-mom. I’m a librarian and I work 20 hours a week, a graduate student and mother of two, and I love wearing my jeans. Some days I feel like I never have it together, but I’m learning little techniques along the way to help me be more organized. Slowly, but surely the good Lord leads us each on our personal paths. While I feel like my life is a perpetual to-do list, I’m trying to appreciate the little things each day.
Nice to meet you all!
Chris says
I have been both…and relate to the Target Popcorn Mom the most. Well written post, Thank you 🙂
Rachael says
I’m glad you enjoyed the post!
Jenn says
Why can’t “coupon mom” and “latte mom” be the same person? “Latte Mom” could have paid for her purchases with coupons too. The flowers could have been a once in a great while spurge or for a sick friend. As Melissa J said that Gap outfit could have been a gift, worn on this day because its was this Mom’s once a week visit to Target or even a once a month visit. We’ve all had frazzled days and put together days. Let’s not devolve into a Cheerleader vs Poor girl mind set.
Christy Carden says
I have been both. I work out a good bit, so it’s not unusual for me to run to the store straight from the Y in yoga pants. Our Harris Teeter has a Starbucks in it. I teach, so I get a lot of Starbucks cards for Christmas. I might be couponing in HT drinking a free to me latte while wearing yoga pants. But I would more than likely be the one kicked in the head by my child. 🙂
Monica says
I’m a coupon and latte (well OK, cappuccino) mom. There were days when I depended on coupons to get my family through the month, but we’ve come a long way financially in the past 4 years. Today, I choose to coupon, not because I have to but because I want to. Because I have that wiggle room, I do enjoy a Starbucks cappuccino when I feel like having one and I think there’s nothing wrong with that.
Leah says
Honestly, the author of this is so sweet!
But I really dislike labels like ‘coupon’ v. ‘latte’ mom. I know it’s not meant this way in the post, but I feel like a lot of the time people use those kinds of labels as a way to put people down. Even with everything she said, I still get the impression ‘coupon moms are better than latte moms’ I know she didn’t mean it that way at all, but labels just come across as being judgy. (And I think maybe that’s why she felt she had to keep explaining that she wasn’t putting latte moms down?) It turns us into ‘us’ v. ‘them’ instead of precious people who all have our own stories, strengths and weaknesses. 🙂
Angela Brown says
I think she only put a voice to what most of us are afraid to admit. I don’t like that I compare myselves to others, but I do it. I’m just glad I’m not the only one. It makes you realize that every other mom has similar insecurities and the mom you probably think has it all together probably thinks you do!
Leah says
Yes, but Crystal gets the same point across in some of her posts, without using labels, and I love that! She manages to do all of what you are talking about without making anyone come across as being ‘less-than’ at all.
I feel like she has a special gift to make everyone feel worthwhile and valued, but it doesn’t mean we can’t strive to do the same thing. 🙂
Melissa J says
I really liked this post. I dont know if there is a latte mom?… Sometimes Im a latte mom on a rare occasion, but we are by societies economic standards poor. But I gave up couponing for a while because I was adapting to the baby years and health problems. Maybe latte mom is faking it until she makes it. Or maybe her husband is really frugal and buys everything on Ebay so she doesn’t have to coupon. She could find name brands at the Goodwill or Ebay or those fresh digs came from gift cards she got at Christmas, and grandma and grandpa spoil the kids so they got the kid a Gap outfit. We should all treat ourselves to a latte once in a while…we save money everywhere else…. its okay to splurge once in a while. For me Im more of a Target popcorn mom. I walk through the isles with my over priced popcorn and slushy and then I hit up the target clearance rack:) We all have our little splurges, you never know the real story behind Latte Mom….. I know at times Ive envied the coupon mom (while looking like latte mom) having been there before, saying i wish I had the patience to go back to couponing I miss all my freebies :), but Ebay and Goodwill work for now. Fake it til ya make it! 🙂
Elizabeth says
I love this comment!
Kathy says
Target popcorn mom…love it! I’m not a mom, but this describes me too! 🙂
Rachael says
Target popcorn mom…love it 🙂 I’m glad you enjoyed the post.
Theresa says
I agree with you. That latte might have been that mom’s first treat in a long time. The Gap outfit (how in the world, do you know it’s from the Gap? Or are you just using Gap as an example) might have been gifted, bought on sale or bought at full price. We have no idea what latte mom’s story is.
Heather says
I *so* relate to this story. It can be tough to make our own choices when society seems to value the opposite. We have to remember that looks can be deceiving though. 1 in 50 US households has more than $20,000 of credit card debt. The average household debt is around $6500. (per business insider & the federal reserve sites) Honestly, you and I are on the narrow financial path. But, as difficult as it is to stick to a budget, the turmoil of debt is far worse (been there – big time). Rather than being a bit hard on ourselves, we should celebrate our ability to back away from the glossy ads and superficial guise of an easy life. Perhaps latte mom could benefit from the wisdom you have been gifted.
Thanks again for sharing. I really needed this reminder today.
Heather
Rachael says
I’m so glad you enjoyed the post. It’s so great to hear from others who can relate. No matter your situation, we are all in this together and can learn from each other 🙂
Jessica says
Excuse me? The “latte” mom could benefit from Rachael’s wisdom? She didn’t say anything about talking to the mom, and she nor you have no idea what her financial situation is, so to automatically assume that she’s drowning in debt and is financially irresponsible just because she and her toddler had a certain appearance is awfully judgmental.
Heather says
You know, my intenet was just to bring it back around to the point that we all have something to give each other. Even those of us who dont feel put together. Are you a Christ follower? If so, please take this up with Him. He knows I had no ill intent. Either way, I’m sorry you were offended.
Cynthia says
Well said!