Let’s Stop Photoshopping Our Lives

Let's stop photoshopping our lives

“If most of us stopped to examine the expectations we set for ourselves, we would discover that our concept of perfection is so unrealistic that it can’t exist in one person. Instead, its a combination of pieces or snippets of what’s perceived as perfect. We don’t just want to be good at what we do, we want to be perfect–we want to edit together all the best clips of what we see to form our lives.”

Brene Brown, page 174, I Thought It Was Just Me But It Wasn’t

Last week, I brought you all into our home for the Clean Your Home for Christmas Challenge. I showed you my messy drawers, my unpacked suitcases, my untidy closets, and gave you a peek into real-life here.

Truthfully, I wasn’t sure how those posts would be taken. It’s always a little intimidating to press publish on posts that are far from perfect.

You know you’re going to disappoint some people. And as a recovering people-pleaser, that’s hard for me to voluntarily do.

Let's Stop Photo Shopping Our Lives

But can I be really honest with you? Letting you into our home — to see the underbelly, as it were, of our lives — was so freeing for me.

Again and again, women commented and said, “Thank you for being real. It’s so good to know I’m not alone.”

You’re Not Alone

The messes, the fact that I don’t hit all my goals, the unkempt closets, the suitcases that don’t get unpacked for months… they all bear witness to the fact that I’m a work in progress just like you.

I hope that it encourages you to know that I don’t have my ducks in an alphabetical row. Far from it. I deal with have stuff bombs and dust bunnies and bad hair days, just like you.

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In this online world beaming with Pinterest-staged pictures, it’s easy to start feeling like we’re the only one who has laundry piles, unwashed dishes, and sticky countertops.

We can be tempted to try to photoshop out the messes, slap on plastic smiles, and pretend we don’t have some ugly, messy, or struggles in our life and home.

But that’s not real life.

We All Have Struggles

I tried being a people-pleaser for years. And let me tell you this: not only is it completely exhausting, it’s lonely.

I’ve discovered it’s so much better to let people get to know me for exactly who I am — messes and struggles and all — than to wear myself out putting on an act in an effort to please someone.

Let's Stop Photo Shopping Our Lives

Real, authentic relationships only happen when we’re willing to stop pretending and start being honest about our struggles.

No one — no matter how put together they may seem — is exempt from hard things.

We all have struggles. We all have burdens. We all have areas where we fall short. We all have literal and metaphorical “junk drawers” in our homes and lives.

Let’s stop photoshopping our lives and instead welcome people in right where we’re at. It won’t always be pretty, put-together, or Pinterest-worthy, but it will certainly be much more fulfilling and freeing!

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How to Stop Being a Grumpy Mom

How to Stop Being a Grumpy Mom

I was feeling frazzled and impatient this morning — ready to throw in the towel and lose my temper. Kind of ironic because I just wrote a post about finding more S-P-A-C-E yesterday, I know.

But I’m just keepin’ it real here. And it was one of those days.

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We had a long day yesterday and were gone most of the day.

When we got home last night, we went pretty much straight to bed instead of staying up and going through the all mail and packages that had arrived (it was a pretty massive pile yesterday!), finishing cleaning up the kitchen, working on the laundry, or unloading the car that we’d spent a lot of time in yesterday while driving to various locations all over Nashville for different things.

This meant that I woke up feeling behind. Plus, for some reason, my alarm clock didn’t go off this morning and I overslept, too. Which didn’t help me feel any more calm.

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To add to that, there were some attitude issues that flared right off the bat this morning and some little people who didn’t want to help or focus or do what they were asked to do.

This morning, of all mornings, of course. I said to myself in frustration.

Being a Fun Mom Always Wins

By about 11:15 a.m., I had had it. It felt like nothing was going right, my anxiety level was rising, and I knew if I didn’t do something quickly, it was going to go from bad to worse really, really quickly.

I went out into the garage and called Jesse. He listened to me rattle on about how frustrated I was feeling. He encouraged me and by the end of the phone call, I was feeling somewhat better.

But I knew I needed to do something more, something tangible, to help turn the mood around in our home. Well, and mostly, to help turn around my mood. :)

So I called the kids into the living room, apologized for how I’d acted stressed this morning, and then told them we were going to pull out the puzzle we’d gotten at a White Elephant gift exchange the night before and we were going to stop what we were doing, set the timer, and work on the puzzle together until the timer went off.

How to Stop Being a Grumpy Mom

They were all thrilled with this idea — especially because it involved mom working with them on something that they love to do.

And I was amazed, because within 5 minutes, not only did I feel so much calmer, but I was actually really enjoying being down on the floor working on the puzzle with them.

Being a fun mom instead of a grumpy mom always wins! :)

Related post: How I Stopped Yelling At My Kids

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Being Organized Is About More Than a Clean House

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Last week, I invested a lot of my time and energy into getting our house more in order and getting our family into a new routine. It was a lot of work and honestly, there were multiple days that I didn’t want to put the effort into it.

But I kept at it and by the end of the week, our house looked so much better, our lives seemed a lot less chaotic, and I felt like I could breathe again. It felt so good.

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However, it wasn’t the clean house, calmer days, or less cluttered drawers I was most happy with. It was the space this freed up in our lives… space to exhale, space to love each other better, space to look into a child’s eyes and listen, space to stop and invest time.

It’s easy to get caught up in the busy, busy, rush-rush, go-go pace of life. To constantly feel like you have to hurry through the moment to get to the next thing.

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I get it that there are seasons when that’s just what you have to do. It’s finals week at school. Or you just had a baby. Or your grandmother is in the hospital. Or your friend was diagnosed with cancer.

Sometimes, we can’t slow the pace of life and we just have to go with it and power through.

But most of the time, I believe that we can choose to slow down.

We can choose to do less. To say no to the crazy, frantic pace. To put forth the effort to get better routines in place and less clutter in our homes and on our calendars so that instead of a hurried pace, we have a calm S-P-A-C-E.

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Space to love that child who needs extra nurturing on a Monday morning.

Space to listen to our friend who is feeling discouraged and overwhelmed today.

Space to text or call our neighbor who is going through a rough patch.

Space to smile at the elderly person in front of us in the checkout lane.

Space to pray for someone who is struggling.

Space to share a kind word of encouragement.

Space to refresh our souls so we can better serve those around us.

S-P-A-C-E. It’s a beautiful thing!

What is More Important Than a Clean House

Near the end of last week, as we were working on our morning chores, one of the kids found a copy of Silas’s very favorite books of all time: Goodnight Moon. We hadn’t read the book in months and we’d all sort of forgotten about it.

There were squeals of joy when it was re-discovered. And because I had space in my day, I was able to stop, snuggle with all three kids, and read the book aloud to them.

It was a simple thing — and it didn’t take a lot of time. But it was a beautiful moment in time. One that I will treasure in my heart for a long time.

I don’t want to miss out on these every day moments.

Related: Read this excellent post on why we need to stop being managers of our homes and instead start being nurturers of those in our home.

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I told you I’ve been neglecting deep cleaning & here’s proof (Clean Your House for Christmas: Day 5)

Clean Your House for Christmas Challenge

Thank you so much for joining me this week for the Clean Your House for Christmas Challenge. It made such a big difference in our home and it inspired me to continue cleaning out other neglected areas in our home in the coming days and weeks.

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Today was the first day all week that I’ve finally felt almost completely 100% again — which was such a blessing after days of being sick and then just feeling really tired as a result of being sick. I’m so grateful to be on the mend and back to full steam again!

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Silas made scrambled eggs for breakfast — and needed almost zero help from me to make them! I still turn the burner on for him and oversee him carefully, but it’s exciting to see him really picking up on cooking skills this year.

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I started the She Reads Truth 1 & 2nd Peter Study today… I can already tell I’m going to benefit greatly from it! Taking time to be quiet and spend time studying God’s Word, reading from a good book, and counting my blessings is such a great start to my day!

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I love that this girl has really started to love reading! I keep catching her with her nose stuck in books this week!

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While I was working on finishing up my morning cleaning, Silas asked if he could help clean all the windows. He spent an HOUR working on cleaning all the windows on the first floor! I was quite impressed!

The rest of the morning was spent on homeschooling. Right before lunch, I finally had a chance to get in a quick run on the treadmill. And then Jesse got home and made lunch while I hopped in the shower and got dressed and ready.

I came downstairs and we ate lunch and read aloud together. Then Jesse took over homeschooling and I headed out to spend a few hours working at the shared office space we have a membership to. I was grateful to finally feel up to getting out of the house today… while I love being home, I find that I’m much more productive when I leave for the afternoon and working at the office space. Plus, it was just good to get out of the house after being home almost all day every day for the past week because I just haven’t felt well.

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When I got home, I tackled the bathroom cupboards. I’m kind of embarrassed to show you this one… because you see that duffle bag stuffed in the cupboard?

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That’s a duffle bag we packed for a trip we went on in AUGUST.

Um, yeah.

I wasn’t kidding when I told you I’ve neglected deep cleaning…

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It feels SO good to f-i-n-a-l-l-y have that bag unpacked and put away. And to have that bathroom cupboard cleaned out and organized.

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Bathroom cupboard #2: Before

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And after. Much better.

While I didn’t get all the deep cleaning done that I’d hoped to this week, I tackled a LOT of projects and areas that have been very neglected these past six months of my life and it feels so good to open drawers and closets and cupboards and see such neat and organized spaces again.

Now I’m determined to work on keeping them that way!

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Leave a Comment & You Could Win This Stack of Books!

In my cleaning today, I found some more books that I’d love to pass on to a good home, most all that are ones I’ve loved and just want to share with someone who could be encouraged by them! Plus, I threw in a copy of both my audiobook, Say Goodbye to Survival Mode, and a copy of my new Choose Gratitude Blessings Journal that’s now out of stock in our store (I have a few copies left!), and a copy of my first book, The Money Saving Mom’s Budget.

Who wants to win them? To win, just leave a comment on this post and I’ll choose one winner tomorrow evening and will mail them to you so you’ll have them in time for Christmas. Some of these books are great condition and might even work as gifts for people on your Christmas list!

Did you work on cleaning your house today? If you blogged about participating in this Clean Your House For Christmas Challenge, leave the direct link to your post below that is specifically about this challenge. Or, leave a comment telling us how your cleaning went today.

The winner of yesterday’s stack of books is Jennifer (jjsbarrilleaux@) — I sent you an email tonight to ask for your address.

The winner of this stack of books from today’s giveaway is Kaitlin (literarymademoiselle@) — I sent you an email requesting your address. Congrats!

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Reader Tip: Save Your Budget with Family Gifts

family gifts

Kalyn Brooke emailed in the following tip:

I love buying gifts and receive so much joy out of choosing the perfect present for that special someone. But year after year, it can be really hard on the finances to buy for each individual — especially when your income doesn’t grow at the same rate as your list.

My solution = Family Gifts. 

Buying for a family as opposed to each person person not only cuts down on the amount of gifts you need to purchase, it also means you don’t have to spend as much. For example: If you spend $20 per person for a family of 5, that’s $100. But if you buy a really nice family gift for only $50, you’ve cut your costs in half!

Here are a couple ideas for frugal family gifts:

1. Gift baskets are great family gifts to give, because you can easily create one for any budget. Not sure what to put in your basket? Here are a bunch of creative ideas!

2. Another option is to buy just one gift the whole family can enjoy. Consider what sort of activities each family normally does together, then buy them a gift that complements their interests — board games, outdoor activities, DVD’s, etc.

3. Collaborating with others and go in on a bigger gift. Send your parents on a bed-and-breakfast adventure, buy a theme park pass for the whole family to enjoy, treat your grandparents to an expensive dinner reservation, or pitch in to buy a playground for the kids.

Next time you’re out shopping for Christmas gifts, think about family gifts rather the individuals gifts. You’ll significantly cut costs, and make the season a lot simpler. I’d say that’s a win-win!

Looking for more frugal gift ideas? Check out Kalyn’s Free Frugal Gift Guide!

photo source

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