Welcome to my weekly post where we take a break from money-related posts and I share about what I’m loving right now and give you a little peek into our life from the past week.
I’m walking through a season right now filled with a lot of heaviness. There are no quick fixes or fast solutions. And I’m allowing myself permission to feel the hurt and pain instead of slapping on a plastic smile and pretending I’m okay.
Because as I’ve learned over the last year, it’s okay to not be okay. In fact, it’s so much healthier to acknowledge the pain and the hurt instead of trying to stuff it down and convince yourself that you’re “fine.”
This week, I let myself be sad. But I also committed to look for the good and the beautiful… the little reminders of God’s love.
I saw it in the Mother’s Day gift that Kathrynne gave me — a beautiful adult coloring book she earned by memorizing a lot of Scripture and quoting it to her teacher.
I saw it in the beautiful clouds and sun shining through the clouds — even when it was raining.
I saw it in the perfectly-timed text from a friend who said exactly what God knew I needed to hear right in that moment.
I saw it in Kaitlynn cheerfully and willingly spending a few hours in the kitchen to make an amazing dinner for us one night this week!
I saw it at Starbucks when I took Kathrynne out for a little date and the barista said, “Your order has already been paid for by the car in front of you.”
I feel so humbled by God’s kind care and love for me shown in such tangible ways today. Even when life feels sad, He is good.
What I’m Reading
Right now, I’m reading: The Broken Way (a spiritually encouraging book), Power Through Prayer (an old Christian reprint), Hope Heals (a story-driven book), and DARE: The New Way to End Anxiety & Stop Panic Attacks.
This week, I finished A Gospel Primer. Please don’t judge this book by its cover. The contents are GOLD.
I firmly believe that every Christian’s life could be deeply impacted by a slow reading of this book. It will challenge you to truly understand, grasp, and live in light of the gospel like never before.
As soon as I finished it, I wanted to start reading it again.
“Preaching the gospel to myself each day nourishes within me a holy brazenness to believe what God says, enjoy what He offers, and do what He commands.”
A Lesson I’m Learning
I used to feel like I couldn’t take much time for fun and relaxation because I “had to work”. And I burned myself out by years of hustling.
These days, I work so much less, but I get so much more done because I don’t burn the candle at both ends. Instead, I try to be completely offline for at least 4-5 hours every day. And I have so much more inspiration for blogging and I love what I do so much more.
Give yourself permission to leave the laptop closed or the phone off (or to set aside whatever else constantly is pulling at your attention) more and to just enjoy life. When you do, you’ll probably discover that you’re so much more efficient and productive when it is time to put your head down and get stuff done.
(Yesterday, I left my laptop closed all morning and early afternoon and we hung out as a family: going to a parade, going to a new restaurant, taking a long walk, and exploring a newly opened bridge. It was so fun and so soul-filling for me!)
What I’m Pondering
I came in from running yesterday morning to see this and I just had to laugh… next to my beautiful Mother’s Day card from Silas and flowers from Jesse, were a pile of dirty, bloody sheets on the coffee table (a child had a bad bloody nose last night and had stripped their bed but the sheets hadn’t made it to the laundry room yet).
This is motherhood. It’s beautiful and messy all at the same time.
Some days, it is glorious. Some days, it’s gross.
Many days, it’s a mix of the marvelous, the mundane, and the messy all wrapped up in one big pile.
There are heavenly moments. There are heartbreaking moments.
Motherhood is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It’s stretched me beyond what I ever dreamed I was capable of. It’s turned me — a former stoic, stable, non-emotional person — into a feeling, emotional, raw woman who can cry at the drop of a hat if it involves my kids.
I never knew the depths of love that existed until I became a mother. I never knew how impatient I could be, either!! 😉
This is motherhood. And I’m humbly grateful for the gift that it is — even the messy parts. Because it’s caused me to need Jesus like never before and it’s given me a glimpse of just how much my Heavenly Father loves me.
How was YOUR week? I’d love to hear! Tell me about it in the comments.