Tuesday was one of those days.
You know the kind… where it feels like you wake up behind, you feel frustrated, there are countless interruptions, and the more the day goes on, the worse it gets.
By the grace of God, I didn’t fly off the handle at anyone, but I certainly felt like it could happen at any moment. I was anxious, unsettled, and just plain irritable.
The house was messy, the kids were needy, I got some discouraging feedback on a project I’d put a lot of effort into, and I never made it out of my PJ’s.
Late afternoon, I had a conference call with my managers about a contract we’re negotiating. Since they are like family, when they started the conversation asking me how I was, they got the honest answer.
“Well, I’ve not showered today. I’m still in my pajamas. And I basically feel like I’m failing at everything in life… I’m a failure as a wife, as a mom, as a friend, and as a businesswoman.”
Overly dramatic and almost entirely unfounded, I know, but that’s just how I was feeling that day.
I want to be honest in my relationships instead of sucking in my feelings and pretending everything’s okay. Plus, confiding in true friends and letting them pray for you and encourage you can often be the best remedy when you’re having a tough day.
After we got off the phone call, instead of wasting more time and making my day even worse by beating myself up over having a bad day, I decided to assess what went wrong so I could help prevent the rest of the week from going downhill, too.
As I analyzed my day, I realized there were six key things that were major contributing factors to my bad day. And I thought I’d list them as a reminder to me (and anyone else) for the future.
So here are six ways to guarantee you’ll have a bad day:
1) Don’t Get Enough Sleep the Night Before
I stayed up way too late the night before… and it wasn’t because I was working on some world-changing project. Nope, I was mindlessly browsing the internet. I know, sooo noble and worth losing precious sleep over.
2) Don’t Have a Plan for the Day
I woke up late and tired. Without a plan. And just let life hit me as it came.
Eventually, I got around to writing out a to-do list for the day. But by that time, I was so behind it was just more discouraging than it was helpful.
3) Don’t Shower or Dressed
Yup. It’s true. I was still in my PJ’s at 5 p.m. and I finally just gave up hope of changing out of them.
So I felt gross and messy and unkempt all day… which totally makes you feel cheerful and excited about life. Or not.
4) Don’t Stay Focused
Some interruptions came my way and I let them suck way too much time and energy from me. Instead of waiting to answer that non-urgent email and phone call until I had a time block to deal with it, I let the inbox and phone control my morning — which is always a recipe for my day getting out of whack.
And it was a recipe for complete chaos and frustration when my day was already off to such a poor start.
5) Don’t Count Your Blessings
I spent too much time fretting over a negative comment someone made and let that frustrate and irritate me until I couldn’t see any of the blessings of my day. Which then, in turn, only made the day seem clouded over with more frustration.
6) Do Beat Yourself Up for All the Ways You’re Failing
This final point is KEY for having a bad day. Take a lot of time to mull over everything single last thing you’re doing wrong and every area of your life that needs improvement. It will seal the deal for you and your bad day.
So there you have it! Six guaranteed ways to have a bad day. Did I miss any points? If so, let us know in the comments.
And do yourself and your family a favor: don’t try this six-step plan at home.
Libby says
I find when I am first pregnant and exceedingly tired regardless of how much regular sleep I get, that I have to force myself to start my day and continue my day. I have to take regular breaks, an afternoon nap for instance, but constantly fighting the hormonal emotions is irritating because you know it’s not logical but it still persists. Advice??
Chastity says
Thank you, Crystal! I needed to read this, at this very moment! You are such a blessing!
Kimberlee says
My motto is “it can always be worse!” Yeah we have bad days and there are days when I am down on myself and often, I have been feeling overwhelmed, which doesn’t help! But when/if you think about it, they are several worse situations that you could be in and sometimes that helps..sometimes! Then there are days that I just throw that out the window and mope, I think that is just nature. You are right, you do have to have the mind set to get through rough days.
Karen says
I too, have to chime in & say I love the honest posts. I think online we can create, “here’s my perfect life” just by leaving out “the bad days”. So thank you for your bravery in being real. You can see by the huge amount of responses what a breathe of fresh air you are. ( & I’m blessed to have been following the blog since c.2007) So I KNOW : Even on a “bad” day you are one Amazing Woman! Love! ♡Karen♡
Beth says
Great post! Love your honesty. No matter how many times you tell us reader’s that you “don’t have it all together” sometimes we don’t believe you! lol. Your openness is what makes Money Saving Mom successful. Again, wonderful tips!
Crystal Paine says
Thank you so much for your sweet encouragement!
Allie L says
We have bad days around our house too. We call it Monday. Every week without fail, on Monday, the baby seems louder, my son seems whinier, and nothing gets done without tantrums. I have tried lots of things to get our Mondays on track, but nothing seems to work. It’s probably just related to the excitement of the weekend activities and missing Dad while he is at work. Over the past few weeks, I have stopped trying to make Mondays better and started to embrace the pain they cause knowing that it will be the worst day of the week and each day will get better and better. Without the negative, you can’t really appreciate the positive (right?!?).
PS. Even though I have made peace with my Mondays, if anyone has suggestions to get them back on track, I’m all ears!!
Crystal Paine says
“Over the past few weeks, I have stopped trying to make Mondays better and started to embrace the pain they cause knowing that it will be the worst day of the week and each day will get better and better. Without the negative, you can’t really appreciate the positive (right?!?).”
Such wise advice and perspective here! Thanks for sharing!
Jana says
Thank you so much for posting this Crystal. This happens to me far more than I would like. I think I’ll write these down and look over them often to remind myself that I’m far happier when I set myself up for a good day.
Crystal Paine says
Thanks so much for your encouragement!
Elisha says
Thank you so much for this! This has summed up my week! Some ladies and I are starting a Bible study tonight and I am leading the study. It’s on Proverbs 31 and will include practical ways to practice Proverbs 31 in our households – through couponing, ways to save money, canning, homemaking, etc with our main focus on God’s provision and no matter how much we feel like a failure, we are more than conqueror’s through Christ. I know it’s spiritual warfare, but I have been hit so hard this week! It’s like every time I try to focus on how far I’ve come in my walk, the devil reminds me of how far I have to go. Those voices of defeat have been so overwhelming and have kept me in my pajamas more than one day this week. Throw in some very real health issues that have flared up and whew, boy – it’s been a struggle! Your post is so timely and just what I needed to hear to keep fighting, because the battle is real. Prayers for you as you continue to fight and to share your struggles with others.
Crystal Paine says
{Hugs!} I’m so sorry you had a hard week! 🙁
Katrina says
Crystal,
I just wanted to say that I am so encouraged by you opening up and sharing about your life and bad days, and just being so honest. It’s really confusing to listen to people tell you to give yourself grace without seeing them do it themselves. When people try to be perfect, or present themselves as being close to perfect, it makes everyone feel bad. One for pretending to be something that they are not, and another for not living up to this perfection that is easy to achieve, apparently. And even though bad days suck, they happen to everyone, and you used yours this time to be helpful to others.
Crystal Paine says
Thank you so much for your kind encouragement!
Sonya says
I have those days too. I need to work on getting on a better schedule and planning out my days to prevent these days from happening.
Crystal Paine says
A schedule — or even just a loose plan — does make such a difference, doesn’t it?!
Karen says
Back when my kids were small i got in the habit of getting showered/dressed/made-up (and bed made) before even THINKING about heading downstairs to start the day. A side benefit of doing this was being a role model for the kids to do the same. I know how silly this may sound but I’d tell them “Fancy people never appear on their first floors unless they’re ready to great the public!” and of course my little ones would run around getting “fancy.”
Anyway, it was all just a ploy to get them ready BEFORE breakfast and miraculously the habit stuck into their adulthoods. My middle boy (age 26 now) said recently it was one of the best lessons I taught them.
I also find on days i deviate from this habit, it seems EVERYTHING goes downhill fast!!
Crystal Paine says
You’re such an inspiration… I want to be like you when I grow up!
[email protected] says
I love this. It’s nice to know another momma has completed the wrong to-do list for the day. 🙂
katie says
Exactly this! It made me both laugh and sigh in understanding!
Christy says
To be honest, some of my bad days are linked to me just being a girl. There are about four days every month when my hormones are sapping some of my strength. Things that might not be a big deal for three weeks out of the month seem completely annoying and grating for a week. I tell myself that next week things will look better and to just give myself and others a little extra grace until my emotions don’t have such a sway. I noticed that doing my makeup, making an effort to avoid my gardening clothes, taking some vitamin B, reading, walking, avoiding caffeine and putting distance between the drama (my own and others) has helped.
Becki @Running with Team Hogan says
I’m right there with you on this one.
Diane L. says
First thing this morning we brought my daughter’s car to the shop and learned that it will need over $400 in repairs. Ordinarily I would have been upset about this unexpected expense, and I would have started my day in a cloudy mood.
However, yesterday we also got the news that my daughter will NOT need a surgery that we anticipated was necessary. The blessing of that wonderful news made the car repair seem trivial.
When I’m tempted to allow something to put me in a bad news, I need to remember to count my blessings which always outweigh the not-so-good things!
Kate says
We call these “Appreciation Days” at our house because they help us appreciate all the days when we have it a little more together. 🙂
Diana says
And a way to cope with a bad day is writing about it like this! I loved this–all so true, and puts things in perspective when you can think about it this way 🙂 Thanks for the chuckles and the reminders that I can be proactive about whether I have good days or bad much of the time.
Lea Stormhammer says
Don’t we all have days like this?
I think sometimes it’s all the little things piled up that overwhelm rather than one or two big things.
Great advise and I hope the rest of your week has been better!
Lea
Cate R. says
Not sure if this has been added to the how-to-have-a-bad-day list, but I would say: Don’t pray or ask God for help. Convince yourself that you are strong enough to muscle through it on your own.
Jacki says
Throw in a couple of extra kids. Then throw in 4 more kids and unplanned company for dinner. A day coming down off of high power medicine, a migraine from it, and a demanding list of people to contact for work. That’s just one day this week.
CJ says
Everyone has days like that – that is when you just have to grab a piece of your peppermint skinny chocolate and remember that tomorrow is a whole new day.
Celeste says
When we were about to have our third baby I thought about how overwhelmed it made me feel and then I looked at ways to change it. The number one thing that makes me feel behind the eight ball, is a messy kitchen. Every morning the garbage must go out and the sink and dishwasher need to be empty. I also pre-plan activities for my two and four year old so that when the baby is fussy, I have things for them to do.
Lisa says
Crystal, Thanks so much for this post. I always appreciate your transparency. I have been reading your blog for the last few months and have read your recent book. I just love hearing what you have to say. To me, you are able to take such beauty out of chaos rather than being paralyzed by a failure. Have a wonderful day today!
Crystal Paine says
Thank you so much for your sweet encouragement!
Sally says
Crystal, I totally understand what you mean. I’ve had more than one day like that this week! Yikes! But I’m so grateful for God’s grace and His love for me through Christ. I’m thankful that my eternal security is based on Christ’s finished work, not mine (or the kind of day or week I’ve had). I need daily reminders of this glorious Gospel! And when the Devil whispers that I’m a failure and should just give up, I can combat his lies with the truth that “we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” (Rom. 8:37)
Praying for encouragement for you today, Crystal!
Crystal Paine says
Thank you so much for your prayers. I had SUCH a good day today and I’m truly grateful!
And this is SO true and something I cling to on those hard days: “I’m thankful that my eternal security is based on Christ’s finished work, not mine (or the kind of day or week I’ve had).”
Tracy S. says
Wow do I feel your pain! Generally it’s the voices in my head that I shouldn’t be listening to that screw me all up. The ones that tell me what I’m not. They’re very persistent, evil things. If I can get through them long enough to think on The Truth of what God says about me that makes all the difference. The key is try to get through those evil thoughts and not just let them talk and talk and talk.
Thanks for being so you and letting us in on it. Now we know we’re not alone and neither are you! Yay for being able to help lift each other up!
Crystal Paine says
Yes, yes, yes… this comment is gold! Thank you so much for taking the time to share!
Becki @Running with Team Hogan says
On my list: Get on the computer, accomplish nothing, but get frustrated at the kids for not getting things done. Neglect my Bible reading. Let my to-do list overwhelm me so that I don’t even get started. Eat and drink poorly (stress-eat). Walk by messes instead of cleaning them up.
Crystal Paine says
Yes… so very true! It’s often the seemingly “little” things that can send us into a downward spiral!
Sarah @ Little Bus on the Prairie says
YES to all of these! You put it well 🙂
Allyson @ All Our Days says
Thanks for the encouragement. It seems like I’ve had quiet a few days like this recently.
Thankfully, last night I made a list for today and went to bed at a decent time. I’ve taken time to read the Bible and pray this morning and now I’m off to shower and get dressed.
I’m praying good days for both of us!
Crystal Paine says
I hope you ended up having a good day… it was a great day here!
Jill says
Crystal, I’m just loving your honest personal posts! This one made me smile because it’s so, so true! Thanks for sharing.
Crystal Paine says
Thanks so much for your kind encouragement!
Tamara Letzring says
My day wrecker: starting my day without the Lord. If I don’t start my day right, chances are good that I won’t find the time for personal devotions later. “O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is; to see thy power and thy glory, so as I have seen thee in the sanctuary.” Psalm 63:1-2
Crystal Paine says
Yes, that is also so true for me, too! Making it a first thing priority habit for me has made such a difference.
Jen says
I’ve had a bad three weeks since moving to Austin and I can’t figure out how to get it to stop. Since I moved here I found out the state of TX is making me take an exam at a cost of $200 to get my massage license, two hit and run drivers have hit my car and the damage will cost hundreds to fix, a hubcap went missing somewhere, I got a flat tire in the rain during bumper to bumper rush hour traffic on the way to work, I had to get four new tires at a cost of $600, I can’t get my state vehicle inspection done because the auto shop is always too busy (I’ve tried three times and am rapidly losing hope I’ll be able to comply with the 30 day deadline), my hours at work are horrible and aren’t going to be enough to pay my bills (5-6 hours/day), I’m constantly lost and am too scared to get out and explore because of the horrific traffic, my cat has been crying every night and keeping me awake, my apartment’s maintenance staff entered my apartment without my knowledge or consent a day ahead of schedule to reglaze the bathtub (which led to fumes and the cat puking everywhere from it), and my grocery bill has gone through the roof because everything is more expensive than AZ and no grocery stores double coupons. I feel like I made a huge mistake in moving; I’m at my limit and I can’t take anymore! And, oh yeah, I’m beyond broke from all these expenses plus all the dough it cost me to move.
Nancy says
This might sound silly but I read this and smiled, because that was basically me a year ago when I moved to a new state. I felt like I was bleeding money every single day. It was one thing after another- mostly things I couldn’t put off too.
I promise it gets better. You are in a totally new place, and that alone is scary. Plus you are spending more money than you were expecting and not making as much as you’d hoped to. Things will settle down, the moving expenses won’t come up again. The new tires will be good for a few years, the cat will get used to it’s new home, your bathtub glaze will last until you move again.
Ask around at work which car inspection station to go to, then try getting your car inspected first thing in the morning, be there 20 minutes before the place opens if you are able to. Bring a coffee, sit in your car and just listen to some music while you wait.
And try and get out an explore your new town, I remember when I found my bagel shop and dry cleaner, it was something so simple and it just made my new state feel more like home.
Leanne says
Great advice!
Quin says
Jen, I would also encourage you to find a church soon! My husband moved me 800 miles from family, into a place sight unseen with a 3 1/2 year old and a newborn. I remember being so scared! We found a church right away, and everyone was so friendly and helpful. They gave me all kinds of tips and things about the area, where to shop, where to take the kids for fun, etc. Hang in there, it will get better!
Crystal Paine says
Jen: I am so very, very sorry that it’s been such an exhausting, overwhelming, frustrating, and stressful three weeks. I was exhausted just reading your list…!
I hope you’re able to have some encouragement this weekend and that nothing breaks or gets run into this week and that you’re able to take a little time to breathe and do something that will refuel your personal tank!
Moving is hard and it seems like there so many new things, so many expenses, and so many things that have to be done all at once while you’re in the middle of trying to make a huge life adjustment, too.
Hang in there and know that we’re here for you. {Hugs!}
Joan says
So sorry!! The stress of moving has hit me, also! I cannot get over how it has affected me. So, though it may not help much, you are not alone. I will pray for you. May God comfort you and give you peace in the midst of it all…also, we don’t have a church yet and I don’t know a soul… It’s so lonely. Praying for our and your direction.
Roma says
This may sound silly but I noticed that if I don’t spend my hour with God and also take the time to pray I am moody. So every morning I have to do those things first. Crystal may I encourage you to share your burdens with God. I love that His mercies are new each day! Have a blessed weekend!
Mary Ellen/ Whisk Together says
Great point! Always best to start the day with an open heart and devotion.
“”Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come.” 1 Timothy 4:8
Crystal Paine says
I find that starting my day in God’s Word and prayer is so good, but also sending all sorts of flare prayers up throughout the day, too, as I encounter difficult circumstances, or struggle with a frustrating situation, or when kids have bad attitudes… Truly, I need Him every moment of every day. Without Him, I’m nothing and when I try to live life in my own strength, it’s never a good thing. I’m so very grateful that His mercies are new every morning!
Amber says
Tuesday for you too?! I was ready to cry after being awake just an hour! (And Monday was good!) After awhile I had a thought though: instead of believing that my day won’t be set straight until I have a chance to sit down with my journal and Bible, (which could be a few hours away at nap time if things continue like they started) what if I just DECIDED to forget the morning I had and start over this very minute! I could do that anywhere, in 30 seconds, or even 10, just by seizing the moment. Wow. Then I could be happy instead of bummed. On Tuesday I found that what helped the most was just picking one thing, and getting it done, like putting a load in the wash, or clearing the table, to get momentum. And, honestly, if you can do what Crystal suggested in the past and DANCE for 2 minutes, that really helps too!
Crystal Paine says
So sorry you had a rough Tuesday, too. I wish I had stopped and given myself permission to “start over” and just focusing on one thing — such a good word of advice that I’ll try to remember on my next bad day.
samantha says
For me it’s not taking time to soak up GOD’S word in the am before kids awaken. I need to be taking time for the LORD 1st and praying.
Crystal Paine says
Yes! Spending time in God’s word and prayer is such a great way to start the day!
Sarah says
#10. continued from above:
Tell yourself that you have more to than 10 capable women could possibly get done, and ut’s all important, so you’ll feel as hopeless as possible.
#11
Remind yourself of how the persecuted Christians all around the world would love to trade places with you, to let your feelings of wretchedness sink in even more.
Sarah says
Corrections:
More to DO
IT’S all important
Crystal Paine says
YES! Isn’t it amazing how much what we allow ourselves to think about and believe dictates how we live? Such a reminder that we need to be filling our minds with truth and good things. And I also find it so helpful to good friends around me who are also constantly helping me remember the truth instead of getting sucked into the “I-am-a-failure” vortex.
Mary Ellen/ Whisk Together says
Tomorrow is Friday and a NEW day the Lord has made. I pray it will be great!
Crystal Paine says
It’s been a GREAT day — and I’m so very thankful! I hope you had a great day, too!
Mary Ellen/ Whisk Together says
Here’s another 3 to guarantee to have a bad day!
#7: Don’t do anything for anyone else.
(Altruism is a sure-fire antidote for feeling down and sure-fire way to feel good about yourself and others.)
#8: Don’t stop and smell the roses.
(It sounds silly, but it’s true! Practicing mindfulness each day helps us appreciate what is around us and focus us on the present. My daughter will find a penny on the ground and state with all her heart, “It’s BEAUTIFUL!”. She doesn’t call everything beautiful. But, when she does, she does it from her heart, and I should learn from that.)
#9: Don’t Exercise
(Paradoxically, I get more done after taking time out to exercise.)
Crystal Paine says
Yes, yes, and yes!!!!
Such good words. Thank you for taking the time to share your insights and wisdom here!
charity c says
Thank you thank you thank you for being you and honest and helping me not feel alone. Hope your day is a better blessing tommorow.
Crystal Paine says
You are so not alone!
I hope you had a good day today… I did and am so grateful!
Ai @ Less to More says
I can avoid all first 5 things, but #6 is enough to send me spiraling down, listening to all those thoughts about being the worst wife & mom in the world. This quote is good reminder for me on those bad days. “Most of your unhappiness in life is due to the fact that you are listening to yourself instead of talking to yourself.” (Martyn Lloyd-Jones)
Crystal Paine says
Oh wow! That is SUCH a great quote. Thank you for sharing it!
charity says
Lazy morning parenting. My kids can tell when I’m having one of those days. I can choose to keep them busy doing productive things or I can choose to spend the day correcting them. If I’m lazy in the morning and don’t fully engage them they try and get away with everything.
Jen says
This is SO true! I haven’t put it together exactly like this before but this is absolutely true. Thank you for the insight, it will be a catalyst for better days in this house. Blessings!
Crystal Paine says
I agree with Jen, such great insight. Thanks for sharing, Charity!
Michelle Murphy says
I had a horrible day… and I am convinced it was because I had sugar for the first time in ages. I use Stevia or xylitol exclusively but we are on our staycation and you can’t have a bon fire without smores right? Bad idea. I hope tomorrow will be better. I promise to get out of my PJs and NOT eat sugar. 🙂
Crystal Paine says
{Hugs!} Here’s to both of us having good days tomorrow! 🙂