I’m so honored that Incourage chose my book, Say Goodbye to Survival Mode, as one of their recommended reads this month! They asked if they could feature two posts from me this week, so here’s a snippet from my first post called The Day I Stopped Trying to Be Superwoman:
Not too long ago, I was at a mom’s get-together. I don’t remember what we were talking about but, in the middle of the conversation, one of the moms said sheepishly, “Well, actually I have a cleaning lady who comes every other week.”
She looked ashamed to even admit this audibly, but I quickly set her at ease by looking directly in her eyes and saying, “Good for you!”
We women tend to think that unless we’re doing every little thing to run our homes we are failures. We beat ourselves up if we can’t do it all. We feel guilty for even considering bringing in a little outside help on occasion.
I know the feeling because for years I tried to do it all, too. I juggled babies and toddlers and moves and job changes and homemaking and home businesses and financial struggles and potty-training and blogging and friendships and church and exercise and everything else that I thought a good wife, mom, and business owner was supposed to do.
Read the whole post.
Kindra says
I would enjoy more downtime with my kids instead of worrying what else I should be doing !
annie says
I would sleep in the same room as my husband. Ever since my first daughter was born almost 5 years ago, I always fall asleep before making it back in there. I haven’t seemed to figure out how to balance these roles but it’s definitely starting to take its toll on us all. Now with 2 girls I’m completely exhausted all the time.
Kiersten Slevin says
I’d spend more time with my kids and on myself, which I never do.
Danielle B says
I would love to read more and nap more! I could use some relaxation and down time!
Heather says
I’d organize my pictures and order a picture book
Rachel says
I would simply stop missing out on my life. I was going to say my children’s lives, but the truth is, I feel like they are one component, albeit the sweetest, most amazing, blink-of-an-eye-and-their-gone one, that I am losing. I miss my husband and my friends, I miss the relaxing, one night a month dinner with my prayer group.
I miss me.
Rachel says
Wait, I just read the comment before mine, she is totally living my life. I have ADHD and PTSD, my six year old son has ADHD and PTSD, my five year old daughter has ADD. My husband is a Firefighter (feel free to pray for him). We live across the street from my 82 year old mother-in-law, so that she may live on her own as long as possible (we make her dinners, take care of meds, and my poor husband does all of her “honey-do”. I have started a small business that was intended to pay for my children’s tuition at a Classical Christian School, but so far, I probably lose more than tuition actually is.
My point, living like this sucks, and to know that Alma is living with it too;give my vote to her!
God Bless You Alma, one day we can look back at this and laugh, right?
Susan Taylor says
I have been a stay at home mom & Superwoman for 24 years! I have 2 daughters and my youngest is a Senior in HS. Life has been a financial roller coaster for our family. My husband, a Homebuilder, and I have moved 8 times just trying to survive the 2008 market crash. I have had to be a Mom,help run 3 businesses, do all of the yardwork, housework, pool cleaner, schoolwork with the girls, soccer practices, cheer practices, dance practices, church activities, bible studies, cook, and be a wife!! Well, in 2009 in the height of the financial crash I began to get sick. I was diagnosed with Lupus. It rocked my world. I no longer can do everything, I don’t have the energy anymore because of this disease. Everyday, I push myself to keep up, I over do it, then I pay for it the next day. Please help me to understand that I don’t have to do it all. It’s a real daily struggle for me….thank you….
Alma Granados says
I am a mom of two girls and two boys. Both my boys and I are ADD/ADHD diagnosed. I’m sure just imagining my home is overwhelming. I am a cleaning lady. I work while my kids are in school. In a werid way I like cleaning. I know it is because it is routine and don’t have to think about it when I leave work. I can concentrate on my home life. It’s not what imagined doing in life or what I want forever, but for now it works. To everyone who has a cleaning lady, please be kind and appreciate what help they are. Years ago when I only had my older 3 and was a single mom, I was told by my doctor to stop trying to do it all. I was always runing on about 4 hours of sleep, worked in a hospital, had all three kids in sports, Faith formation class, tutoring, then dinner and homework. Homework with two ADD/ADHD boys is not easy. Sometimes I called timeout and hid in my room and cried. I was later diagnosed with ADD and finally my life made scene to me. I didn’t understand why it took so long for me to do everything during the day, that I ended up using my nights as days also. I always let my self down, made many wrong choices, both financially and emotionally. Everyday is still a struggle, but I don’t beat myself up anymore. Ladies…we should not feel that we are less because we don’t do it all. We all have different strengths and capabilities. Find your strength and be proud of it. If you can afford help, please hire it. I would if I could and I would spend more quality time with my family.
Dana says
With four kids four and under, I recently admitted that I am not and cannot be superwoman. After careful calculation, we decided extra help was necessary and are in the process of finding a cleaning person. Thank you for acknowledging that it’s ok to need help. With my free time I plan to have a little more time enjoying one on one time with the kids and superman! 🙂
Chellee says
I have been living the superwoman syndrome for the last 6 and a half years. My husband moved us to Arizona where we do not have any immediate family and then got sick. He has been sick 6 years with the doctors not knowing what is causing his illnesses. Which leaves me to be mom and dad of 4 kiddos not to mention take care of pretty much everything in our lives. It is mind numbing and exhausting and I have gotten to the point where I don’t know how much more I can handle. Here’s hoping your book will help me find some inner peace that I so desperately need right now.
Andrea Mullins says
I would spend more quality time with my kids without constantly worrying about what I SHOULD be doing at that moment and how it is going to “0put me behind” on my chores.
jane heller says
I would live in the moment. I feel like I am on auto pilot and sometimes just go threw the motions.;)
Gerri says
I love this! I have tried to be “super-woman” lately, but after reading your post, I saw that I can’t do it all. My hubby is medically retired from fire dept with Parkinson’s so there is a lot of things that he can’t do that he use to do. Me I have been a SAHM&W for 25 plus years. With the help of my oldest so who has chosen to stay home instead of renting. I now stop and take time to read & study my Bible instead of feeling like I have to get everything done. I make a list of what needs to be done that week and mark off what I get done and what I don’t or well it can go on the next weeks list. The important thing to me is spending time with my hubby and making sure I do my Bible study.
Thanks again for your article
Laurie @PassionatePennyPincher.com says
Loved the sentence “Truth be told, I’ve searched the Bible high and low and have yet to find where it says that I am commanded to scrub my floors or clean my toilets.”
As I’m in the midst of moving, blogging, and raising 3 kids, I’ve seriously considered getting someone to just scrub my floors but feel so guilty about it. After reading your post last night I’ve thought to myself at least three times how right you are about that, and even though I’ve *known* your statement was true I’ve never actually articulated it and lived it out ~ thank you for putting that into words because I needed to hear it today.
(And by the way, your new site just looks beautiful~ love love love it!!!) 🙂
Crystal Paine says
Thank you so much for your sweet encouragement!
Tricia Jones says
I would play with my kids more.
Joy says
I would take time for myself. Something that really happens.
rebecca says
I would spend more time playing with my kids.
Candice says
I’m so excited to see that my tracking shows your new book will be here today! I have four kids under 8 and run a small business from my home – I’m exhausted trying to keep up! I have no systems except to go from fire to fire. I’m working on some changes, and I’m hoping that this book will really help me. 🙂
Candice says
(And I’m hoping you tell me to hire a cleaning lady, too! LOL 😉 )
stephanie @ Housewife Mama says
I love this story and I would totally have a cleaning lady if it were in my budget. I mean, really, who likes to clean? Ok, some women do, but I don’t know why. I guess I wasn’t born with that chromosome.
Emily says
Hey Crystal! I was so excited to receive your new book in my bag from Allume and I have browsed it a few times. It’s on my reading list for sure. Today I have really come to what feels like the end of myself, in a way, and I am diving head first into the Word and into your book as well. I just can’t live in this chaos anymore. It is so crazy and I just can’t do it. I want you to know, I am one person out of many who will be blessed by your book, I just know it! I’ll check back in sometime and let you know how it goes 🙂 I am praying for help! Maybe your book will be part of that answer- trusting Him! – sister love, Emily
Crystal Paine says
{Hugs!} I am so sorry you’re struggling and just prayed for God to encourage you and give you hope — especially right now.