Q&A: What do you do when you’ve already given up?


What do you do when you can’t even remember what your dream is or used to be, or I guess when you’ve already given up? I’m sure I’m not the only person to feel that way, so I would love your thoughts on this. -Jennifer

{Hugs!} Jennifer! I’m so sorry that you’re feeling discouraged and struggling right now. I can’t promise any magic pill or quick fix answers, but here are some thoughts I had:

1. Schedule a Doctor’s Visit

If you’re feeling depressed and down for longer than a few weeks, I recommend scheduling a visit to your doctor for a routine check up and bloodwork. You may have a nutritional deficiency, or some other medical problem that is making your feel lethargic and unmotivated.

And even if your bloodwork doesn’t show that there’s anything abnormal, your doctor might be able to give you some advice or suggestions to help you start feeling more upbeat and energetic.

Note: If you’re constantly feeling exhausted and worn down, I’d also recommend reading my series on 15 Ways to Have More Energy.

2. Stop the Negative Self-Talk

You matter. You are worthwhile. Don’t allow yourself to believe lies that say anything else. Camp on the truth.

Anytime you start feeling like there’s no reason to have hope, challenge yourself find three things to be thankful for. Focusing on your blessings will remind you of how blessed you are — even if life is hard. There is always, always, always something to be thankful for.

3. Set a Microscopic Goal

You need something to live for — even if it isn’t some amazingly audacious goal. Maybe you set a goal right now to write for 5 minutes a day, or to work out for 10 minutes five days a week, or to read a few pages from an encouraging book.

Think of something that feels doable and don’t worry if it seems “small”. Doing something is almost always better than doing nothing.

4. Surround Yourself With Encouraging People

You need cheerleaders around you who believe in you, want the best for you, and who will support you when life is hard. Cultivate relationships with people who will build you up, not tear you down.

5. Celebrate Your Success

Every week, take time to celebrate the progress you’re making — even if it’s just that you spent five minutes working out. Whatever it is, celebrate it.

This will motivate you to keep going the next week. In addition, it will encourage you as you realize that you are making progress, even if it’s small.

What advice and suggestions do the rest of you have for Jennifer?

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Comments

  1. n says

    going through really sad times.

    each day I try to mentally list 3 successes for the day. even if it’s something silly and small.

    and I purchased and downloaded hypnosis audio files to help me get to sleep at night. It generally works. hypnosisdownloads.com / uncommon knowledge – you can google it.

    sleepless nights can really harm us if it happens over and over.

  2. Kayla says

    When I went through this a few years ago, I spent a lot of time visualizing what I would do if I could do absolutely anything in the word without relationship or financial constraints. I thought about what truly brought me joy on a day-to-day basis, and set small goals to work towards that bigger dream. It took months and months of visualizing for an image to take hold, and that dream is still a work in progress…but each year I try to make my life inch one step closer to that vision.

  3. says

    Find someone to talk to and confide in! Having another mommy friend who understands my “give-up” feelings is a huge help, I don’t feel so alienated. And having a supportive husband who reminds me that I’m doing a good job, no matter that the kids are filthy and the house is a mess (but hey, they are all still alive and the roof is over our heads).

    Also, some time to reset. No matter what, I get a shower every day. Even just 5 minutes of peace and quiet and nothing to distract me helps me recharge. And if possible, I get out of the house by myself or with a friend once a week or so. I need that mental break.

    I know the feelings, I’ve have them regularly…it’s impossible not to when you have four small kids and a husband with PTSD. But once you recharge, find that new purpose and make sure to make time for the upkeep that requires, it gets so much better!

  4. says

    Something else I’ve heard from A LOT of people lately is
    1) Gratitude for blessings from God
    2) Worship to God.

    When we feel overwhelmed and stressed it means that our focus is on the temporal instead of the eternal. Turn that stress to Gratitude and Worship and your perspective will shift

  5. Kathy says

    … and focus on something you enjoy … whether it is gardening … or sewing … or reading … or relaxing in a bubble bath … set aside a space of time that is just for you … each day … until you begin to feel the hope rising in you again … as you nurture yourself for a bit (not encouraging being selfish but caring for self) you may find yourself dreaming new dreams …

    I am 60 yrs. old … and I can tell you first hand … life can knock you down … but you have to give yourself a time to recovery and then get right back up again … sometimes you have to create a new “normal” … and I’ll be honest … that isn’t easy to do … even at my age … especially at my age … but you do it anyway … because you have to … there is still so much good in life to just give up … you may be surprised where those new dreams might take you …

    Gardening for me is my release … it de-stresses me immediately and I can shut the rest of the world out for a while … it gives me a chance to think and re-evaluate things … sometimes setting my feet on a different course in life …

    Praying for you … don’t ever give up, hon … you never know what life may bring … right around the corner …

    • Jennifer says

      The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale changed my life. I can’t say that about too many things. It really helped me shift my focus away from the negative. Everything in my life started changing for the better after putting Dr. Peale’s suggestions into practice. I cannot recommend it enough.

        • Nicole Taylor says

          I loved One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. If you are in a space of gratitude, you can’t simultaneously be in a space of want.

            • Nicole says

              I learned them through some tough financial years of looking around at everything I didn’t have. Once I looked within my four walls and saw everything I did have, it all started changing. It was at that time that I found Ann Voskamp’s book and had it all validated.

    • Lizzie says

      There’s a series of books by Sheri Rose Shepherd that are just amazing. Just small, 2 or 3 minute chunks of truth. I was given ‘His Princess Warrior’ when I was going through a particularly tough time, and every single time I read it, without fail, it was EXACTLY what I needed to hear. (Thankyou Jesus!)
      There’s also ‘His Princess’ and ‘His Princess Bride’ and such. Wonderful, wonderful books.
      http://hisprincess.com/store/ :)

    • Janell says

      I suffer from depression, anxiety, SAD, chronic pain and have a 16yr son who in the past year and a half has been to three treatment facilities, is failing at school (and has always been an honor student), continues to use, and doesn’t care about himself, his future, or his family. I have been seeing a GREAT therapist & doctor and have been taking medications for years. In the past six months I have made great progress and am working my off some medications and reducing the others.

      I attribute a great deal of my success on the fact that I took a step completely out of my box and joined a book study at my church. The book Calm My Anxious Heart: a Woman’s Guide to Finding Contentment by Linda Dillow. I found ways of relating to my self, my family, God, and my situation that have made me a completely different, and better, person. I have recommended this book to everyone I know. It has been and continues to be a tough journey, but I am a much better and happier person.

      Good luck to everyone fighting their own daily battles. Surround yourself with love and love yourself.

  6. April says

    I’m surprised nobody’s mentioned “change the thing that is getting you down.” My (wonderful) DH always tell me that every problem has a solution – you just have to look hard enough to find it and be willing to take whatever action necessary to make things better. For me that’s resulted in having to do things that I may not always like, but that turn out better for me in the long run.

  7. jk says

    I’ve had bouts of depression ever since my last child was born and it’s been such a struggle getting rid of this cloud over my head. What has helped me so far, is to talk to others about it rather than keeping it a secret. I know that those who care for me pray for me regarding this issue. Excercise and good diet also helps me out a lot! I’ve been working out every day, either running for 30 min or workout dvd or yoga. I also make this nasty herbal infusion (after much research) that really helps me balance out my hormones.

    • Linda says

      JK – Could you mention what herbs you take? I may need to give in and visit the homeopathic doctor. I have issues with depression and my hormones go awry often.

      Today, I am super emotional and feeling very low, and I know it’s not PMS. :(

      • MM says

        I would highly recommend going to a homeopath. There are many different homeopathic remedies that can be used for depression, but they are all based upon each persons symptoms. Once you find the right one it works awesome though! Here’s a link to an online test that can give you some ideas.

        https://abchomeopathy.com/c.php/50

        • Lori says

          Thank you for information and link. I will take the test and will schedule a visit with the homeopath.

      • Hannah says

        Linda, your post stuck out to me and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers today. I know what it is like to be stuck in those emotional and depressed times. I take 5-htp (I just buy it at walmart) and it has really helped me feel and act like myself and fall into depression and anxiety much less often! My husband has been commenting that I’ve been much more myself and even funnier. God bless you, there will be brighter days ahead. :)

        • Linda says

          Hannah – I appreciate your prayers. It’s been a very dark week and it’s worse because there’s really nothing to cause it. I should be grateful for the blessings I’ve received, yet that dark heavy fog is constant. I will look into your recommendation.

      • Anna says

        I really love the resolution tea offered at BulkHerbStore.com. When I drink it I feel so much better. They say it’s feeding your cells, and I think that’s probably right. I can think better and feel happier when I drink it. Maybe it’s just slowing down enough to brew a cup of tea and sip it down, but I drink tons of other teas and don’t feel like they do the same thing for me. Bulk herb store has a “resolution kit”, and I’ll just warn you that the tincture is super yucky (though it might work great) and I can’t recommend the fiber, but I’d buy the tea by itself again for sure!)

      • jk says

        After much research and dr appts, I mainly take red clover blossom infusions. I buy bulk and organic. I cannot recommend this to everyone because my condition may be different than yours. When I went on a vegan diet and drank this infusion along with stinging nettle infusion, I felt so great and had so much energy and even lost weight without exercise. But now, being a vegan is not all that practical for me so I just drink the red clover infusion and still helps. Hope you find what works for you!

        • Linda says

          Thank you, JK. I will also visit the homeopath to try to find a solution. I don’t want to feel like this much longer, it’s exhausting.

    • Courtney says

      I would love to know what your concoction is! I had baby #4 six months ago, and have struggled to feel “balanced” ever since…

  8. Lana says

    Our daughter who is just about to graduate from college was feeling that way a couple of months ago and even said she was going to withdraw from her classes and finish next year. We found that she was severely magnesium deficient which is a common problem because of the amount of sugar Americans eat. She started on a large dose of magnesium everyday and she was a different person in just one week. She continues to take it daily but has been able to cut back on the dose. This needs to be in a capsule form to be absorbed. Low thyroid function can cause the same sort of hopelessness. I have been there.

  9. Jessica says

    Take a step back and breathe. Focus on one small good thing, whether that is a beautiful flower, a baby’s laugh or the smell of apple pie baking.

    Get a hug. Human touch from someone you love is soothing and relaxing. Petting an animal like a dog or cat is also soothing for both of you. It can lower your blood pressure and stress level.

    Rub your temples. Stretch. Let the tension loose.

    We’ve all had some tough times we never thought we could pull out of. When my son was 12 days old, I was hospitalized with severe postpartum depression. I had plans to commit suicide. I was having thoughts of harming him too. I never thought it would be possible to feel well again. With counseling, medical treatment and support, plus some time, I fully recovered. My life isn’t perfect and I have hills and valleys, but I feel them and have peace in the fact that I can climb out of that valley and that something better is on the horizon. My son, older daughter and new baby are the joys of my life. I was scared to have another child after that experience, but I took some preventive measures and I prayed.

    You are not alone.

  10. Julie KG says

    One thing I’ve learned is to take a good hard look at the people you have around you now….sometimes when you’re lonely or feeling not like yourself, you open up to and become friends with anyone who will give you some time…but when you leave their presence, something just doesn’t feel right and you feel worse when you’re done having a conversation with them than before. We all value socializing and company and friendship, but sometimes we do these things at our own expense. I have found that staying away from people who make me even more negative about life (and possibly feeling like you have no one to talk to) is better than being lonely in a crowded room :)

    Prayers and hugs to you!

    • Lori says

      You are so right about surrounding yourself with positive people.
      For a long time I would put up with people who treated me wrong, just because I was desperate for friends. I had several toxic people around me who only made me feel bad about myself. I ended those friendships and it was the best decision I ever made, but it was definitely hard to cut the cord.

      Unfortunately, I still have to deal with a few negative people at work, and sadly one of them is my supervisor.

      For the longest time I felt like a garbage can where they dumped all their negativity. They would leave my office and I’d be left completely drained and exhausted as if I’d climbed a mountain.

      I’ve learned to set boundaries and limit the time I spend with them so we only discuss work related topics, and when I notice the conversations going off subject, I redirect. This has helped so much.

      I’ve also tried to surround myself with friends who are supportive and push me to do my best, and I try to do the same for them.

    • Siobhain (Sha-von)W. says

      Great thoughts…I heard recently from one of my mentors, “Aren’t you parents concerned about who your kids are spending time with?” Of course we all agreed that we were. He then challenged us to spend time around positive people OURSELVES, who would encourage us toward our goals. Prayers for you tonight Jennifer!

  11. Jen says

    Going through this now and have found a wonderful Christian counselor that is helping me rediscover how I’m allowing Satan’s lies that I am not worthy of a happy life fill my head with lies about who I am my core. Only through clinging to God and sharing my pain with friends have I begun healing. I’m praying you will do that same. Hugs!

  12. Jessica says

    Something that helped me recently was giving up social media for awhile. I didn’t realize how much I was comparing myself to others until I took a break. The truth is they probably don’t have it together anymore than I do, but when you only see the highlights of other peoples’ lives, you tend to forget that they have struggles too and can’t do it all. I only took a break to have an extra 15 minutes a day to get caught up on some things, but now I realize that it has changed my whole frame of mind. I no longer feel inferior. I feel free.

    • Hannah says

      This is the biggest struggle that I deal with in my financial life right now, and it’s true, they don’t have it all together. I’ve been moving further and further away from facebook lately as I’ve started to realize that we often let that become a substitute for true friendships in which we expose our struggles to each other.

  13. Kristi says

    These are great suggestions. I would add that reading God’s Word every day is an encouragement. I’m not suggesting that this will take care of medical issues (follow Crystal’s advice on that) or change your circumstances, but it always helps me keep the right perspective. God loves you, will never leave you, and has a purpose for your life.

  14. says

    I would total agree with the Microscopic goal setting. Sometimes we just ask too much of ourselves and set ourselves up for discouragement and failure. I would also start celebrating the little things. Get an inexpensive week at a glance calendar place it by your bed and each night fill the square for the day with things you are thankful for . Also when you do complete a task, clap for yourself, or cheer for yourself, what ever it takes to help you see that you are making progress. One last tip, I don’t know what stage of life you are in, but if you are a mom, you might need to remember that progress in motherhood is a lot different than progress without children. I remember when my children were infants and I was feeling discouraged I often “tossed the to do list” in favor of and “I did it list” and all day I would write what I did down, from changing diapers to wiping hands to sweeping up cheerrio’s those things count too. Those things in that season of life are the most important things.

  15. says

    I recently read an article suggesting going back to the things you found fun when you were 12 years old! How cool!!! So I sat down and thought about when I was 12~ climbing trees, reading, designing dream houses, babysitting, riding bikes, exploring… Then I began to try to incorporate those things back into my life. As crazy as it may sound, it really helped! It got me back to who I am and away from who I was becoming in trying to please everyone else.

  16. says

    You’ve gotten a lot of great advice. Although I’m not sure what kind of dream you’re referring to (marriage, work, children, etc) I can say that a few years ago I felt stuck and my husband felt stuck. My husband had been unemployed/underemployed for 3 YEARS and we felt like we were sinking.

    One thing that really helped us was to just decide to do different things. I started reading some motivational type books such as No More Dreaded Mondays by Dan Miller and The Other 8 Hours by Robert Pagliarini. My husband started writing a devotional blog and I saw him excited for the first time in a long time. Although he’s no longer writing the blog, it served it’s purpose for us.

    After almost a year of full time employment his office closed last month and so now he’s again working 2 or more jobs each week. We’ve started reading Start by John Acuff because we don’t want to go back where were were a few years ago.

    I hope that helps. You’re definately not alone but you don’t have to stay there either.

  17. says

    Crystal, these are great thoughts. I’ve been discouraged so many times and have been picked up by things like this, just little bitty things.

    I would also suggest finding someone you can be completely honest with, who will love you anyway, and just dump out all the bad stuff. So many times, I’ve been discouraged and the major issue was something I didn’t feel like I could talk about. But when I finally talked with a friend I trusted, and just unloaded, all of a sudden those deep, dark issues haven’t seemed as bad anymore… and they went away a lot faster.

    For me, discouraging thoughts can be like sharks. They chase you and chase you, and you feel like you can’t get away. But if you get those sharks out of the water and lay them out in the parking lot where they are exposed, all of a sudden they can’t hurt you anymore, and you’re free to move on.

  18. Pam says

    I agree to get a physical first. Before I found out I had diabetes I felt depressed, I was bone tired, my house was getting messy, I found myself second guessing decisions that I made, I was short tempered and barely could get through the day. I can not describe how terrible I felt.
    At my mother’s urging I finally went to the doctor. Amazing what one little insulin pill can do. My energy returned and I became my self again.

    You never know what can be wrong. Just for the record I was 29 years old, between 115 and 120 lbs., and physically active. Not exactly your average diabetic but it does run in my family.

    • Mel says

      Pam, I totally agree. I was experiencing very similar things. Found that my vitamin D levels were dangerously low. I’m not saying that anything was a fast fix, but Idid find that my attitude and approach were vastly improved when my health was improved. Be honest with your doctor. You may be very surprised!

  19. Jen says

    I would also add exercise. Perhaps as one of those smaller goals Crystal listed? It’s a natural serotonin booster and is a great mental escape. I notice significant drops in productivity if I don’t get some movement in. It doesn’t have to be hard core or lengthy. A simple walk or short yoga session does wonders.

  20. says

    Great tips, Crystal. I find trying to avoid the negative self-talk is huge. If you talk positively to yourself and encourage yourself, just as you would a dear friend, it helps enormously and can improve your whole outlook!

  21. AM says

    Something that always helps me (and might be a good micro goal) is to walk outside for 10 minutes listening to the most uplifting music I can. I use the free pandora app on my phone and choose a workout station or an upbeat pop station or pick an artist that I loved in high school, and I always come back in ten minutes feeling better than I did when I left. I love to do it early, by myself, when my husband is getting ready for work and our kids are watching a show, but if I don’t get a chance early, then I walk with my kids and one ear phone in. ;-) sometime during the day. The music makes it go quickly and adds a boost that can usually push me to get things going!

  22. Penny says

    Two helpful actions: (i) write. It seems silly now, but it’s helpful to have life marker’s such as a journal entry to help you see the larger pictures (and also to learn from your mistakes, and also to re-live positive events in your life), (ii) give of yourself to others less fortunate. It’s the #1 way I know of to get yourself out of your own head, you know what I mean? And everyone wins when you really give of your time and talents, which is ideal.

  23. Autumn says

    Crystal, I’ve always been amazed how your posts seem to always target something I really need to be reminded of…or I’m going through the topic at that very moment. You and MSM have been such a blessing in my life. Thank you always. :-)

  24. Kristy says

    Thank you for this, I feel like Jennifer asked the question I needed to and just did not know how to.

  25. Meredith says

    I can relate to the original writer so well. I don’t know at what point she is at, but I have suffered from depression and anxiety for a long time. The two best things you can do is first, go you your doctor. Don’t be afraid of what they may say. What you are going through is very common. Secondly, I have to stress like other people have mentioned to have an outlet and start doing things to take your mind off of things. It can be simple from googling funny videos on utube, baking or cooking anything, going to the movies, or joining in on the fun with your kids (think running through the sprinkler). Also, when I am down, I remember Everybody’s Free to Wear Sunscreen by Baz Luhrmann. Check out those lyrics…..

  26. Allison says

    If you are diagnosed with depression, two things that have helped me are counseling and regular exercise. A college near me offers low-cost counseling with their psychology PhD students, so if counseling is something you need or want, lower cost options are sometimes out there.

  27. Leanne says

    This may not be the most popular view, but here it goes… a lot of times, not always, depression comes because we are spending a lot of time thinking about ourselves–what we don’t have, what we didn’t accomplish, and we want things easier, or better, or even just “different”. God actually calls that pride…. the best way to deal with that is toConfess it to God….pray about it…He already knows you want or have given up…Write bible verses and memorize them about who you are in Christ…and choose those thoughts over the negative ones— you have to replace them—or they come back…
    and serve someone— each of us probably know someone who could use a helping hand, or a homemade card, or a loaf of bread, or a cold drink on a hot day…. it doesn’t take much money to pull an elderly neighbor’s weeds or bring a shut in a few flowers….
    I think a lot of the time it makes our problems a little smaller….
    so much of what we strive for here is temporal…
    it’s the eternal that actually brings any real joy or satisfaction—so don’t give up! Just shift your focus :-)
    hope that made sense :-)

  28. Stephanie says

    Absolutely get checked out by a doctor first. My husband thought I might be depressed but I just wasn’t feeling right and it turns out that I am very sick. I have decent odds because it was caught and I have very good doctors but life is going to be very different from what we had planned forever. I hope it is nothing like that for you but eliminating physical problems can be a good first step in starting to feel better. If it is depression there is nothing wrong with counseling and medication and they truly can help. All of Crystal’s ideas are very good advice especially celebrating the small victories.

  29. shannon says

    Jennifer, maybe you can create a vision board. Find photographs, words, articles and images from books and magazines that pertain to some new dreams and goals. Post your board somewhere visible and when you feel like you have lost your way and lose track of your dreams, use this as a roadmap to get you back on track. You are right when you say you are not alone in feeling this way. We all have different seasons of life and some are filled with times of hopelessness but some are also filled with joy and wonder. It is during those times of struggle we learn the most about ourselves and find the strength to become more tomorrow than we were yesterday. Make sure you are always inching forward even if just slightly and try not to let others pull you back. You are being very hard on yourself right now and I know it seems like there is no hope but this is a very short time in the large picture of your entire wonderful life. I encourage you to also seek prayer, guidance, family, and friendship for additional support while you are struggling and I am also praying for clarity, strength and new found hope for you to arrive soon.

  30. Siobhain (Sha-von)W. says

    ((Jennifer)), Don’t give up on your dreams. Being a visual person, I put pictures up in my kitchen to keep myself on track with my business goals. One of the most inspiring shots is of the Abe Lincoln memorial. Do you know how many times Abe lost elections, had discouraging set backs like a mental breakdown, etc? Yet, he is known for being one of our best presidents and ending slavery. I lock eyes with “honest Abe” at my kitchen sink at least once daily and it always motivates me!

  31. Anonymous says

    I absolutely feel the same way, so often. It is easy for me to put a smile on my face, but it is beginning to fade. God is good all the time and I trust Him, and this is how I get through.

  32. says

    It is sometimes really hard just to get up in the morning for some people. I know, I used to be one of them. I think prayer is an awesome tip. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me-Philippians 4:13

  33. Kristi says

    Dreams. They don’t always match up with real life, do they?

    In my experience, I have had to re-align my dreams with what I have been given in the real world. Last week, I had my second miscarriage. There was 2.5 years between the two pregnancies, so I have been struggling with infertility during this time as well. These have been my only two pregnancies, so we have no children. Having a family is my dream, being childless is my reality.

    Advice that I follow:
    Seek help. Find someone who has been through it who can encourage you. Find someone who is going through it that you can help support too– someone who knows what you are going through.
    Take care of your physical self (I love all the comments about this).
    Love yourself.
    Acknowledge your pain and disappointment and go ahead and cry it out when you need to.
    Be grateful for what you do have.
    Have hope for better things to come.
    Allow yourself to dream new dreams– not dreams that replace your past dreams, but allow yourself to dream– allow yourself to hope.

  34. Becky Thomas says

    I spend alot of time listening to christian radio. The positive, uplifting songs really inspire me to concentrate on pleasing God and less on selfish negativity. Hearing the songs of love and grace help me to know that I’m not alone. He’ll never leave me nor forsake me. I can do all things because of His promises.

  35. Tara V. says

    I once listened in on a call that talked about how our brains our wired. Our brains accept what goes in as truth BUT are unable to differentiate for tone, like sarcasm. So, if you find yourself saying, “Man, you stink at that!” when you are upset then your brain accepts that as truth. Write out a mantra that you can read every day to focus your thoughts on who you truly are and want to be. It’s simply a part of re-wiring your brain.

  36. Desiree says

    I also say first to schedule a MD appt,get labs drawn-vitamin D deficiency can cause what looks like depression. Depression is a chemical inbalance in your brain-sometimes this can be changed by behavioral techniques, sometimes medication is needed. Nothing wrong with either. A good counselor, talking to somebody who you feel you will not be judged by can do wonders. Taking life one small step at a time. One task a day, sometimes even getting out of bed and getting dressed could be an accomplishment! Please be very vulnerable with somebody and tell them how you are really feeling. If you are feeling like you want to harm yourself and you have nothing to live for..please seek help asap. (Thats the social worker in me talking, sorry, can’t help it!) My thoughts and prayers will be with daily-sounds like you will have a lot of prayers going your way!

  37. says

    You need to watch a few Zig Zigglar videos when you feel like this, thats what I usually do.
    Go to YouTube and have a look for some. The best one for anyone feeling like this would probably be the one called “I hate my job” as it has some great tips in it to be used generally. It is listed with several different names, but that was what it was called when I first saw it.

    Possibly the best site for motivational and inspirational videos would be the one run by Will Edwards (the WhiteDoveBooks guy) and is called motivatetube DOT com. I see that Will added a new Zig Zigglar video to it just the other day in fact, but in all honesty all of the videos there will help give you the lift you need.

    There are just some times in life when watching a video if its well done can give you the help that you cannot find elsewhere.

  38. Mom Dowling says

    I agree with the first five suggestions but I would add exercise. Set aside some time each week to exercise regulary. A little vigorous sweat can do wonders for mood swings and depression. Exercise has helped me to get off depression medication and stay off for almost 20 years :-) Even a walk around the block can help to get those endorphins moving; thus, help to make you feel better and help you face what ever the root cause for the depression.

  39. Meg says

    Lovely advice, Crystal.

    Jennifer, Don’t be afraid to try medication if other remedies don’t work for you. Depression (If what you’re feeling turns out to be depression) is a real, treatable condition. Nothing to be ashamed about and nothing to ignore, either.

    Also, get yourself in a supportive church community. If you have a church where everyone seems to be perfect, or acts shocked at your troubles, it may be time to find a new one.

  40. teresa says

    Jennifer,
    So thankful you asked Crystal this question. Do you see how many people have responded to your question? You are not alone – many others have also faced a similar time. I’m glad Crystal included checking with your doctor. Several years ago I didn’t have the energy to get off the couch. I have hypothyroid (low thyroid) and needed to start medication. It takes several weeks, but it does make a difference. It is also important to find the right level of medication for you. What is normal for one person may not be enough for another. Please don’t give up. Keep hope in your heart. Praying for you.

  41. Geraldine says

    Hi. I know the feeling of just wanting to give up. Unfortunately I suffer from depression. I do take medication and I find it does help.
    But besides the meds, I do feel if you write down your goals on paper and keep them handy, somewhere you can see them often they will help you to stay focused on them. Giving up is so easy. It is for me especially. But keep your focus on the Lord. Where 1 door closes another one opens.
    xxxx