Guest post from Carolynn of My Little Bit of Life
Sometimes I feel so alone trying to make sure my life is in balance. It seems that it’s “all or nothing,” “black or white,” or “hot or cold.”
What ever happened to balance, what happened to gray? Balance was thrown out the window when every parent felt like they had to send their child to an Ivy League school, so let’s just go all out and put our kid in everything — because you know, you’re a terrible parent if your child isn’t trilingual and a prodigy in something by the time they’re four!
When I was in high school, I remember constantly comparing myself to everyone. One big problem though, I’d compare the worst parts of myself to the best parts of everyone else.
I used to beg and plead to God to make me good at something, anything. I was so tired of just being alright in just about everything!
Now that I’m a parent, my view has totally changed. I like being alright in lots of areas. I know I have a lot of work to do, but I feel like this balance is good for parenting. I don’t want to be a Tiger Mom, getting irate if my child doesn’t bring home a perfect grade card or isn’t the star player all the time.
That’s not realistic, and I feel like those expectations will only set a child up for failure. They may not look like a failure to the outside world, but I would almost guarantee that they feel like failures.
What is this teaching our children? That in order to be loved or worthy, they have to be the best all the time?
If this is what we teach them, then they are in for a rude awakening, because life isn’t like that! Life is full of failures. It’s how we bounce back that makes us who we are!
So, I want to try to show my children a good balance. I’m going to let them see things that I’m good at and things that I struggle with. Every once in a while, I know I’m going to lose my cool and that gives me an opportunity to show them how to “fix” mistakes.
I’m not going to immediately rescue them every time they need my help. I’m going to let them slip and maybe even fall and teach them how to recover.
A very wise friend of mine told me that “The best way to make sure you’re staying balanced is to look at the past year of your life as a whole. Were there months you focused more on your marriage, parenting, or the household. If you’ve committed a few months to each area, you are doing great.”
Despite what some people say, “You can have it all… just not all at once!”
What does balance look like for you?
Carolynn is a teacher turned stay-at-home mom to four children. She has a passion for helping parents be better parents and strive to help make life easier for them. Join her on her journey at My Little Bit of Life!