Comparison is the thief of joy
About six weeks ago, I had a little extra time one day and was perusing blogs. I somehow stumbled upon this beautiful blog written by an even more beautiful woman.
As I read her posts, I began to feel very inadequate. She was pretty, in shape, creative, witty, had a gorgeous home, had more children than me, and really seemed to have it altogether.
I started to feel ugly, disorganized, out of shape, and like a really pathetic woman in comparison to her. But I kept on reading–and continued to feel even worse.
Then I landed upon a post where she talked about this woman that she so admired and wanted to be like. I was shocked when I clicked on the link and discovered the woman she was referring to was me.
Yes, this woman whom I felt I paled in comparison to wanted to be like me.
And then I realized how silly this was. Here she wanted to be me and I was secretly wishing I were her.
It hit me anew just how easy it is to want what we don’t have–better hair, better decorating skills, a better personality, more creativity, more spunk… there’s always someone who it seems we’d like to trade places with because they have what we want.
But trading places with someone wouldn’t fix anything; we’d just inherit a new set of things we wish we could change. No one has it altogether. Everyone has struggles and difficulties.
Comparison only leads to discontentment.
We can’t change who we are, but we can make the most of our situation. We can’t choose the personality we are born with, but we can choose to be thankful–even in the midst of difficulty.
And we can choose to be intentional and purposeful in how we live our lives so that we make the most of all that we’ve been given instead of wishing we were someone else.
I loved this part of Amy Lynn Andrew’s post on The Trouble With Blogging:
…Never forget that what you see on the screen is not the whole picture.
Never forget that the people behind the blogs are, well, people…with unorganized cupboards, unmanaged time schedules (ahem!), cranky children (ahem again!), painful stories, crafty train wrecks, struggling marriages, unpaid bills and burnt meat loaf. (Those are the examples I use, because those have all been me behind the scenes.)
Never forget that their story and their journey and their choices apply to them, not to you.
You are who you are for a reason. You are where you are a for a reason. Don’t do what I do and beat yourself up for not being where someone else is. It’s a colossal waste of time.
Appreciate everyone else’s outside, but embrace your inside. (Read the full post here–it’s fantastic!)
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