The old-fashioned virtue of waiting

We live in an Instant Gratification culture. There’s fast-food, express checkout, and 0% down financing. And in many respects, I think we’ve forgotten the old-fashioned virtue of waiting.

That’s one reason I loved Jessica’s video on how they delayed their honeymoon for 2.5 years in order to be able to pay cash for it. What a great way to start marriage! (And kudos to her for winning the Get Rich Slowly Video Contest!)

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Comments

  1. says

    Yee Haw!! Congratulations to this couple!!!!!! I love their old fashioned money value of WAITING till you can pay for it. I pray that their story will be an example for many others to follow! It really is a blessing to wait…. Not easy at the moment, but in the long run such a BLESSING!

  2. Shawna says

    How refreshing to see a story similar to ours. My husband and I have been married for 3.5 years- and still haven’t gone on our honeymoon. In fact, we took the cash given to us on our wedding and paid of my car with it. During our first year of marriage we paid off all of our school debt. I am now a stay-at -home mom to my daughter and baby on the way, and my husband is in full-time nursing school (he used to work in the automotive industry until that crashed). We still have no debt, and are planning our honeymoon/dream vacation for December 2011- our 5 year anniversary and to celebrate his graduation from nursing school. Praise God we heard about and followed debt free living principals- if not Brian would never have been able to go to school and I never would have been able to stay home!

  3. says

    Okay, I thought I was going to like this (loved the title!) but, who says you have to go on a dream vacation for your honeymoon?!

    I’m glad she didn’t go into debt to do it, but that doesn’t mean that had to post pone the honeymoon. I thought the whole reason for the honeymoon was to get away from distractions so that you can get to know one another on a more personal level. If you wait for 2+ years, then by that time you have already experienced what the honeymoon is intended for – at least I hope so!

    We also didn’t go into debt for our wedding or honeymoon. We rented a house and had a very nice week away together. We also had a “2nd” honeymoon a while back and that was a little more extravagant.

    • My Boaz's Ruth says

      I’m with Katie.

      I have friends who decided to postpone their honeymoon until Christmas (they got married in September) — then got pregnant and never got to go on the honeymoon.

      My husband and I didn’t go on the honeymoon we wanted because it would have put us into debt.

      I would not consider a trip taken 2.5 years into the marriage a honeymoon. We flew across the country for our first anniversary — by this standard, we could consider that a honeymoon as well! It’s a vacation. And there are many people that save up to go on fancy vacations.

    • brookeb says

      @Katie, I kind of agree with this. We took a very inexpensive trip after our wedding (although it was delayed 6 weeks until after graduation; we’d gotten married over my spring break in grad school) as a honeymoon. We may take a big trip later, but at some point I don’t really think it’s serving the same purpose as a honeymoon.

    • says

      @Katie, I totally agree, too. It’s not a honeymoon anymore. It’s a vacation at that point. Instead, choose a very cheap honeymoon – camping, a cabin, a friend’s home (without them there, of course) or one night in a hotel up the road. Surely, a cheap hotel can be had for $100 or less. Then you can save for a more luxurious vacation later.

    • says

      @Katie,

      Sorry it disappointed you Katie!!
      For us we wanted to go somewhere special for our honeymoon from the very beginning. It was very important to my husband but the cash wasn’t there – so it was a dream of his that I learned to share with him.
      We moved me from Toronto to Oklahoma right after the wedding and we had a few days before my husband had to go back to work. (Army.)

      When we actually had the cash ready to pay I told him that it technically wasn’t a honeymoon, it was just a vacation and it was silly to call it our honeymoon. It hurt him a bit that I said that and he told me how much the last few years of looking forward to it and saving for it meant to him. And so it was (and still remains) our honeymoon.

      I realize it may come down to semantics whether it was our honeymoon 2.5 yrs later or a vacation for just the two of us – I really truly get it since I struggled with it just being a vacation too!! – but it certainly did fulfill our expectations and anticipations of a honeymoon and we were very happy with it :) Even if we were later than most think is acceptable.

      • says

        @Jessica @ Life as I See It, Thanks for the sweet reply Jessica. It’s always hard to express things fully online. I’m _so_ glad you got to go on the honeymoon of your dreams! Please don’t get me wrong on that part.

        It’s just hard for me to imagine going into debt for a vacation (being a honeymoon or otherwise) and that has a lot to do with how I was raised. The fact that a lot of people spend what they don’t have (by going into debt) on pleasure, is mind boggling.

        • says

          @Katie,

          It truly is!!
          It is SO ingrained in our culture that you NEED an elaborate honeymoon and that it needs to happen right after the wedding. It’s so sad. At least it is sad when those who can’t afford it feel they need to do it.

          Thanks for your kind reply back Katie! Have a great day :)

  4. Jen D says

    Who cares what she calls it? You call it a vacation, they called it their honeymoon. The POINT is that they waited to take their trip until they could afford to pay for it. Bravo to them!

  5. says

    I agree with Katie, too. My husband and I didn’t go on a honeymoon at all. We spent our wedding night in a hotel, and were both back to work on Monday (we didn’t have any vacation time from our jobs at the time). We’ve now been married almost 11 years, and have very much made up for the lack of a honeymoon, with lots of wonderful trips from Maui to Europe. I do think it’s admirable for those who do not go into debt for their wedding and honeymoon, but lots of people take smaller, less extravagant trips for a honeymoon because they don’t have the money to pay for their “dream”.

  6. chelsea says

    What a great decision! And the fact that waiting in that one area has blessed their marriage in other ways is really awesome.

    Perhaps their idea of a honeymoon is an extravagant affair, in which case it was worth it to them to save up for, then go all out! My husband and I spent our honeymoon at my parents’ lake house- it was free and served us fine as a honeymoon destination. I really never considered going somewhere exotic, to be honest! We didn’t have the money for it, and he had to get back to work soon after.

    I think it worked out great too that they got to take their trip after kids arrived! I think those stolen moments in a marriage are soooo much more appreciated after you start your family, rather than when its just the two of you. Just sayin’ :)

  7. Jennifer says

    I love her story! My husband and I both say our road to debt started with our honeymoon to Hawaii. In a way, we don’t regret taking that honeymoon but in another way we do because it started our financial trials. If I could do it all over, I wouldn’t go on an extravagant vacation. We both were caught up in the moment.

    We are still slowly crawling out of debt, over nine years later. A debt that snowballed from the beginning of our marriage. We love Dave Ramsey and have been following his plan for the past 8 months or so and are amazed at how well it’s been working! But I admire those who postpone a ‘fancy’ honeymoon in order to save money. Or those who have the tools and know-how to stay out of debt in the first place! It’s something we were never taught, to no fault of anyone else. It just wasn’t something talked about in our families.

    I wish we knew then what we know now about debt and Dave’s philosophies!

  8. Esther says

    How wonderful! We made sure that every step of the way from the engagement ring to the honeymoon was all paid for in cash. We didn’t want to have any debt (other than our house payment) hanging over our head when we started our new life together.
    Now we’re in the process of buying a new home in which we are doing a conventional mortgage, but when we went in to review the paperwork with the mortgage company, our advisor was in disbelief that we didn’t have any debt. It just made me smile!

  9. says

    We also had a very simple wedding and honeymoon (which we were sick for, by the way), and skipping the extravagance has not made us any less married or any less happy than we would have been otherwise. If we ever do a fancy get-away, it will probably be to celebrate our 15th or even 20th anniversary, and I think that’s fine. Right now our money has plenty of other good uses.

  10. Toni S. says

    It’s great to know that there are still couples out there that don’t have to have it all and have it now. My husband I (and even our 26 year old son) enjoy and appreciate everything more if we wait and save for it. If you are still paying for something after it is long gone, the burden of the bills tends to out weigh the pleasure of what put you into debt. Congratulations to a couple that have their priorities right.

  11. yenna says

    Coupon Rap is the best video! I will have that song stuck in my head every time I go shop with my coupons! jajaja

  12. says

    My husband and I got married two weeks before I started graduate school. He didn’t have a job and had just had his wisdom teeth extracted. We’d moved from IL (where we went to college) to OH, where I was going to go to grad school. I had quit my job to go back to school, whereas he was having a hard time finding his first job after finishing his BS in engineering.

    We had a simple, no debt wedding with a reception in the church social hall. Our wedding cost about $2k INCLUDING our rings, my dress (which I purchased for TWENTY-EIGHT DOLLARS!), flowers, photography and food.

    Needless to say, we did not have money for a honeymoon. We instead waited. We married in September of 2002. He did find work part time which turned into full time by April 2003. I graduated with my masters degree in December 2003 and began working full time immediately. We bought our house in April 2004 (with 20% down) and finally took our belated honeymoon in December 2005! And yes we had cash to pay for it but seeing as we flew, we had to pay by credit card then paid the full balance as soon as the bill arrived.

    And wouldn’t you know, the next month– SURPRISE! I got pregnant. We were not trying! We haven’t taken a vacation (other than travel from OH to MI to see family) since. Instead, we’ve paid down on our house and built a 1 year emergency fund.

    Baby #2 is due in 7 1/2 weeks, and our house (God willing) will be paid off by December (6.5 years after we bought it).

  13. Jerilyn says

    It was probably a better vacation than it could have been because they knew it was not putting them into debt- I’d say that would make me more relaxed.

    My husband’s aunt gave us a week at her time share- anywhere in the world, but we had to pay to get there. So we chose a place en route from the location of our wedding (my home town) to our apartment in our current town. It had a little kitchen so we bought food at the grocery store, though we did go out a couple of times. :)

  14. Becky says

    Gave me goosebumps–you guys rock! Way to go–& congrats on your marriage & babes.

  15. JennyManley says

    My husband and I didn’t have a honeymoon either! We had no money, therefore, no honeymoon. I bought my “wedding” dress after prom season, and paid $88 for it (I suppose it was technically a prom dress, but it served its purpose!) Now we’re celebrating our 5 year anniversary with two children, and have no plans to take a “honeymoon”. I do regret not having a true honeymoon, but we believe(d) that if you don’t have the cash, then you just don’t have the cash!! There were bigger things in life to worry about than a honeymoon! And here we are 5 years later, 18 months away from being debt free minus the mortgage!

  16. Melanie says

    What a great story. My husband and I were trying to keep expenses low and he was taking evening classes when we were married. We had a short, less than a week, honeymoon, and did not travel too far from home. We stayed so close to home a store clerk asked if we were on a day-trip when we said where we were from.

  17. Rachael says

    My husband and I had an inexpensive honeymoon. We spent a couple nights in a Comfort Inn in Indianapolis, Indiana, and enjoyed the city. For our first-year anniversary, we saved up and went on a trip to the United Kingdom. Our reasoning was that we’d be so tired after the wedding – and so, ahem, preoccupied with each other – that we didn’t want to go someplace on our honeymoon where we would feel obligated to go out and do everything because we were paying lots of money for the experience. It worked out perfectly for us, and we made wonderful memories in both instances.

  18. Ruth says

    For some people a nice honeymoon is an important way to start off the marriage and a time where they can focus on each other without child care arrangements, etc. For other people, a honeymoon is an optional thing. Everyone makes the choice that is right for them, depending on their finances (we know a couple that went to Paris on their honeymoon and we know a couple that rented a cabin for their honeymoon) or personal situations (time constraints, stage of life, age you get married, etc). Personally, I was happy with our simple honeymoon…

  19. Beth says

    What an awesome story! I love your point about not starting out your marriage in debt. I think so often people do that- expensive furniture, expensive cars, expensive honeymoons, etc., that they end up closing themselves off to other important callings– service, parenthood, etc. By not being chained to your debt, you’re ultimately able to be more open to the important things in life.

    Thanks for the inspiration and encouragement!

  20. Courtney, Jer.33:3 says

    Who says a honeymoon has to be big/expensive???? We had one within our means and enjoyed every minute of it. The main thing is just getting away alone……..together. ;)

  21. Lisa says

    For our honeymoon we paid cash for a cabin in Sunriver. But it is a honeymoon, we only left the cabin for meals. Who cares where you are or how much you paid. It is about that time together.

  22. says

    That’s a great story!

    We, too, chose an inexpensive honeymoon. When we got married, we talked about it, and it seems honeymoons fall into two categories–the simple and nostalgic sort of approach or the all-out, once in a lifetime, sort of trip. We chose the nostalgic, so that we could go back to our honeymoon spot over and over again. We’ve been there on vacation twice since, and we can’t wait to introduce it to our children. And, Lord willing, we’ll have a big family reunion there for our 50th anniversary.

    But, no matter how you do it, debt free is the way to go!