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Tag Archive: The Crystal Paine Show

What it’s really like to be married to your business partner

Wonder what it’s like to be married to your business partner? In this episode, Jesse and talk about hospitality, summer habits, and what it’s like to combine marriage and business.

Missed previous episodes of The Crystal Paine show? You can listen to them here.

Just Open the Door!

Remember that goal I set in 2018 to open our home every single week? It was hard and scary at first, but the more we did it, the more it’s become second nature to use!

Last week alone, we opened up our home all week to host three college girls who are volunteering at Pine Cove Camp in the City, we hosted the Girls’ Bible Study for the teen girls at church (I think maybe 20 girls came?), we had multiple teens over, we had two couples over for dinner, and we had a family over for dinner.

And I loved it!

In this week’s episode of The Crystal Paine Show, Jesse and I talk more about the lessons we’ve learned on hospitality recently. We also share how it has changed our lives to re-define what true hospitality is.

(Want to hear more encouragement for practicing hospitality, even if it scares you? Be sure to check out the episode devoted to this topic with Jen Schmidt, author of Just Open the Door.)

The Habit Trackers We’re Using This Summer

We also dive into the topic of Habit Trackers and how both of us are using them this summer — me for a specific goal and Jesse to help the kids stay on track and be more productive. I share how I’ve been making huge progress toward a goal with just a simple change in my perspective and by putting some accountability in place.

And Jesse shares how the printable habit lists he put together for the kids have made a big difference in encouraging the kids to work hard, play hard, and spend less time on electronics!

What It’s Like to Be Married to Your Business Partner

Instead of an interview, Jesse and I answer a follower’s questions on what it’s really like to work together as a married couple. We discuss decision making, how we handle conflict and disagreement, who decides how the money is spent, how we make decisions on what risks to take, and how we balance being a spender and a saver who are also married and in business together.

Whether you are a couple who works together or you are just curious to hear more of the behind-the-scenes of our business operations or you just want to know how we’ve stayed friends and business partners who are also married, you won’t want to miss this episode!

In This Episode:

[00:51] – So many people have been in and out of our house lately that we joke that we’re past the “Just Open the Door” stage and have moved onto “Just Leave the Door Open” stage!

[07:01] – Have you ever used a habit tracker? I just started using one to better prioritize my time and it’s working! (so far…) You can check it out here, I snagged it from Abby Lawson.

[13:30] – Jesse has been using a habit tracker with the kids to keep them busy and engaged! They are working toward a big “end of summer” surprise!

[16:26] – Over the next few weeks, Jesse and I will be tackling some of the most-asked questions and topics you all have submitted as podcast episode suggestions.

[17:06] – This week, we’re having a very honest conversation about what it’s like to be married and business partners — and how we make it work all while staying best friends.

[19:32] – How do we make big business decisions — does one person have more say than another? We share more on our roles and how they play out.

[24:09] – What if we don’t agree? We chat about what we do when we don’t agree and agreeing often involves waiting or compromising.

[28:12] – One of us is a spender and the other is a saver (can you guess who is who?) How does this work in our business?

Links and Resources:

How to Listen to The Crystal Paine Show

The podcast is available on iTunesAndroidStitcher, and Spotify. You can listen online through the direct player we’ll include in the show notes of each episode. OR, a much easier way to listen is by subscribing to the podcast through a free podcast app on your phone. (Find instructions for how to subscribe to a podcast here.)

Ready to dive in and listen? Hit the player above or search for “The Crystal Paine Show” on your favorite podcast app.

Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you click through and make a purchase, we may receive a small commission — at no additional cost to you. Thank you so much for your support!

Why We Stopped Homeschooling

For those who have written and asked why we stopped homeschooling, don’t miss this episode! Jesse and I are joined by our kids to share the whole story.

Missed previous episodes of The Crystal Paine show? You can listen to them here.

Why We Stopped Homeschooling

On August 16, 2016, I posted the above picture on Instagram with this caption:

Today is a bittersweet day. After many years of homeschooling, I just dropped the kids off at the new Classical School they are attending this year.

I’m so grateful for those sweet years I had to be a homeschool mom. I’m also grateful for God’s direction this year (for a long list of reasons) that a different schooling option is best for our family and our kids.

I won’t pretend it’s been an easy decision. It’s one that we made with a tremendous amount of thought, prayer, discussion, and tears.

Ultimately, we have so much peace as we walk into this new season. There will be new challenges and new opportunities and I’m excited to see what God has in store as we trust Him to lead one step at a time.

Since posting that Instagram post almost three years ago, we’ve gotten a lot of questions about why we stopped homeschooling and how we knew it was the right decision for our family.

I Know This Can Be a Bit Controversial

I know that schooling choices and decisions are incredibly personal and can be somewhat controversial, so I wasn’t sure that I ever wanted to broach this topic publicly… and I really haven’t for 3 years.

But then, we got many requests to interview our kids on the podcast. We decided to move forward with this and I asked you all on Instagram to submit questions you’d like for us to ask them on their podcast interview.

To our surprise, there were SO many questions begging us to talk about the transition from homeschooling to private school and how it was for our kids. We asked the kids if they’d be willing to share — and they were.

So, enjoy this very honest family conversation around why we stopped homeschooling, how we came to this decision, how it’s been for our kids (one child was very, very angry about it!), and the best things and hard things about switching from homeschool to private school.

No matter your schooling choices or beliefs, I hope this conversation will encourage you in hard choices you have to make. It’s not always easy and sometimes it’s really scary, but you might look back in three years and realize it was so worth it to jump out in faith and do what felt you were being called to do — despite your fears!

First week of “real” school

Why We Stopped Homeschooling Episode

[01:08] – Jesse and I have so much to share with you today! We kick off the show by talking about our recent trips to Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Iowa.

[08:18] – I share a fun email we received from a listener that proves Jesse is right when he used the word “confluence” in a previous episode. (You guys are cracking me up with how much you’re taking his side in this!!)

[09:05] – My mobile hotspot and the ability to work on the road is what is saving my life this week! I also share about a book I just finished on 9/11.

[14:21] – Today we’re joined by our kids — Kathrynne, Kaitlynn, and Silas — and we’ll be discussing a much-requested topic: why we stopped homeschooling.

[16:57] – We never expected to stop homeschooling. In fact, we had always planned to homeschool through high school. Then, we started realizing that Kathrynne needed a change.

[17:59] – Kathrynne shares how she felt about her social life and gets really honest about her struggles with social anxiety and awkwardness.

[23:32] – Truth be told, while we expected Kathrynne to not be happy about the news, we were shocked that she was as upset as she was. We ask Kaitlynn and Silas about their reaction to the news that they were starting school as well.

[26:46] – The kids talk about what their first day and first weeks of school were like for them given their homeschool background. We’ve loved watching our kids really blossom and come alive in unexpected ways the last three years!

[37:02] – The kids share the harder aspects of going to school like getting up early and having to be away from home all day. Jesse shares his thoughts on the transition and how it affected our identity as parents. We also discuss our process for evaluating each year and what is best for each child.

Links and Resources

The podcast is available on iTunesAndroidStitcher, and Spotify. You can listen online through the direct player we’ll include in the show notes of each episode. OR, subscribe to the podcast through a free podcast app on your phone. (Find instructions for how to subscribe to a podcast here.)

Ready to dive in and listen? Hit the player above or search for “The Crystal Paine Show” on your favorite podcast app.

Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you click through and make a purchase, we may receive a small commission — at no additional cost to you. Thank you so much for your support!

How to Find Couple Friends

Do you wish you could find couple friends? In this episode, Jesse and I are joined by two other couples who are dear friends to us to talk about community, vulnerability, and how to build closer friendships.

Missed previous episodes of The Crystal Paine show? You can listen to them here.

The Lie That I Didn’t Know How to Be a Good Friend

For years, I believed the lie that I didn’t know how to be a good friend. Because of some past hurt and rejection, I told myself that I was a disappointment to those closest to me.

I let this lie become my truth and I built a thick barricade around myself to keep other women at arm’s length. I was self-protecting… and when anyone would get too close, I’d pull back.

I didn’t realize I was doing any of this, of course. I just thought that I struggled to make friends and felt lonely much of the time.

All this changed when Jamie and Lauren entered my life. They’ve pressed in, even when I’ve wanted to pull back. They’ve loved me even when I’ve tried to self-protect.

These two women have been such gifts to my life and have taught me so much about what true local friendship looks like and how amazing it can be.

Three Important Lessons on Friendship

Here are three lessons they have taught me:

1) Focus on loving others well. Stop worrying about whether you’re doing it right or wrong; just love others, really wholeheartedly love them.

2) Show up — even when it’s really inconvenient. Relationships will not fit into neat little boxes and they will require you to step out, step up, and be stretched far outside your comfort zone. Show up anyway.

3) Lean in — even when it’s awkward. Beautiful relationships never happen without awkward moments. Invite that person over, even if you don’t know what you’ll find to talk about for an hour. Volunteer to serve at church or go to that event, even if you don’t know anyone. It will be awkward. Expect it to be. But the more you lean in to people and relationships despite the awkwardness and show up anyway, the more chances there are that you are going to begin to develop deeper relationships.

Thank you, Jamie and Lauren, for loving me so well and teaching me so much about friendship. For believing the best about me. For pursuing me — even when I wanted to self-protect and had believed lies about how, “I’m not good at relationships.”

Thank you for letting me show up just as I am. For speaking the truth to me when I need to hear it. For making me laugh until I cry. For listening to me vent. For walking with me through heartbreak and devastating news. For constantly checking in on me and caring about me. And for helping me to begin to believe that I’m capable of being a really great friend.

Thank you for being the answer to many, many prayers I’ve had for real, authentic relationships.

How Do You Find Couple Friends?

I never dreamed when we started Discipleship group two years ago just how much you would change my life. And little did I ever imagine that our husbands would also become great friends!

I’m so honored that Jamie and Lauren and their husbands were willing to do something way outside their comfort zone and record a podcast with Jesse and me recently answering the question that one of you all asked, “How do you find couple friends?”

This is a different type of podcast — it’s a little more like sitting at the table with us listening in on our conversation. There is a lot of laughter, teasing, and real-ness.

I hope that this discussion will encourage you to think of ways you can dive deeper into relationships, even if it scares you! I can 100% promise you that it is worth the effort!

In This Episode:

[01:23] – Meet our couple friends — Brian & Lauren and Drew & Jamie.

[04:47] – Lauren shares how we all met and clicked in our Discipleship Group.

[06:39] – Jamie talks about why she continued to pursue the friendship with Lauren and me, even though I put up some big walls at first.

[08:00] – “It is so powerful to have someone pursue and not give up.”

[09:21] – The guys jump in with their experiences in building their friendship and how their friendship has evolved.

[12:32] – Discipleship helped form our friendship, but prioritizing each other and making time each week has solidified the bond.

[14:10] – Brian talks about how digging in and creating roots in friendship has helped their family.

[16:00] – Don’t make the friendship too complicated! Take out the expectations and just enjoy each other. Our friendship really deepened when we committed to a fun activity of going to Tuesday night trivia every week.

[18:22] – We all discuss why they think having friends is so important.

[20:47] – When you build your friendships, you also have a support system when times are hard.

[23:14] – We delve into what makes our friendship work. Prioritizing and intentionality are two keys.

[27:00] – What advice would you give someone who is looking to build close couple friendships? Friendship looks like getting out of your comfort zone to touch the lives of other people.

Links and Resources

How to Listen to The Crystal Paine Show

The podcast is available on iTunesAndroidStitcher, and Spotify. You can listen online through the direct player we’ll include in the show notes of each episode. OR, a much easier way to listen is by subscribing to the podcast through a free podcast app on your phone. (Find instructions for how to subscribe to a podcast here.)

Ready to dive in and listen? Hit the player above or search for “The Crystal Paine Show” on your favorite podcast app.

Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you click through and make a purchase, we may receive a small commission — at no additional cost to you. Thank you so much for your support!

How Foster Parenting Has Changed Our Lives

Have you ever thought about foster parenting? In this episode, my local friend, Fran, joins me to talk about how fostering has impacted their family in ways they never expected.

Missed previous episodes of The Crystal Paine show? You can listen to them here.

How Foster Parenting Has Changed Our Lives

On this week’s episode of The Crystal Paine Show podcast, not only do Jesse and I share some fun book updates, a hilarious podcast review we received, and something that’s saving my life, but I also am joined in studio by one of my dear local friends!

Fran Maynard and I got to know each other well over the past few years as our families were in Community Group together. Then, she and I got even closer two years ago as we were in a small group in our church’s Discipleship Program. This past year, Fran and I also had the privilege of leading a small group together through the Discipleship Program.

A Front Row Seat on This Beautiful Journey

During the past two years, I got to have a front row seat in watching Fran and her family go through the training and interviews required to become foster parents. Then, I’ve seen them open their home and hearts to a sweet little girl (see the precious blonde toddler in the photo above?) and also become passionate about the great need in our community.

As I have seen Fran’s heart expand, as I’ve witnessed how this journey has impacted their family in such beautiful ways, as I’ve watched her advocate for children who need a temporary or permanent home and family, my heart has been deeply touched. And it has deeply impacted our family in ways we never expected (more on that story in the months to come!)

In today’s episode, I asked Fran to share more of her story and how foster parenting has changed their families lives in ways they could have never dreamed or imagined. I hope that her words inspire and touch you as they have inspired and touched me.

Whether you have any interest in fostering at all, I urge you to listen to this episode and prayerfully consider where you are being called to step out in faith and obedience to be the hands and feet of Jesus to others — whether it is signing up for foster parenting classes, coming alongside other foster parents, advocating for children who are in the foster care system, helping walk with families who are struggling, serving single parents, or reaching out and serving in a completely different capacity.

In This Episode:

[03:32] – Jesse did it! He inspired me to listen to the Killing Lincoln Audiobook by Bill O’Reilly & Martin Dugard.

[06:20] – Dear Bob & Sue, the book I actually picked to tell you about this week, chronicles the authors’ visits to all 58 (at the time) national parks. It is hilarious and made me want to go visit a lot of national parks — something I’ve never thought I’d want to do!

[08:26] – What’s saving my life this week? My eye mask! I talk about why I started using it, when I use it, and how it helps.

[10:33] – We are doing a #100DaysofSummerFun Family Challenge this summer! Check out my Instagram account to see all the fun activities we do! 

[12:29] – Meet my wonderful friend Fran, learn how we met, and hear about their path to foster.

[14:11] – Fran shares with us a little bit about her childhood, her journey, and how it affected her decision to foster.

[16:18] – I ask Fran how they were first led to consider fostering and whether they had fear going into it.

[19:46] – The biggest surprise for Fran and her family in this process was the unbelievably positive response from their kids and their community. The hardest part? All the unknowns. The most beautiful part? The growth that their children have seen in their hearts and their faith.

[24:14] – We talk about the great need for willing and able to foster families in every community and Fran shares some words of wisdom and recommendations for those who may want to foster in the future.

Links and Resources:

How to Listen to The Crystal Paine Show

The podcast is available on iTunesAndroidStitcher, and Spotify. You can listen online through the direct player we’ll include in the show notes of each episode. OR, a much easier way to listen is by subscribing to the podcast through a free podcast app on your phone. (Find instructions for how to subscribe to a podcast here.)

Ready to dive in and listen? Hit the player above or search for “The Crystal Paine Show” on your favorite podcast app.

Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you click through and make a purchase, we may receive a small commission — at no additional cost to you. Thank you so much for your support!

Are you willing to give up what’s making you sick?

Want to know more about the Discipleship Program I’m always talking about? In this episode, I bring on our pastor to share more about why he started the program, some of the key truths in it, and how it has impacted Jesse’s life and my life!

Missed previous episodes of The Crystal Paine show? You can listen to them here.

Thank you to @sarahmaewrites for this truth bomb quote.

“Do you want to get well?” (John 5:6)

Three years ago, I was sitting at a session in our church’s Discipleship Program and I heard our pastor ask this question and I almost started crying right on the spot.

I knew I was unhealthy. I knew something wasn’t right right. But I didn’t know what was wrong or how to fix it.

But in faith, I said, “Yes!” Whatever it took. Whatever it meant. I wanted to get well.

I didn’t know what that “yes” was going to cost me. How I was going to have to let go of years of unhealthy patterns, unhealthy behaviors, unhealthy coping mechanisms, and codependent relationships.

But I’m here to tell you it was all worth it. It was hard. It was painful. And it changed my life.

(A photo I took from the most recent women’s Discipleship Retreat.)

(A page from my Discipleship Curriculum book.)

This is my third year of being in this intensive Discipleship Program at our church. And I am a completely different person.

I don’t live in bondage to insecurity and fear. I don’t need the approval of others to feel validated. I’ve stopped believing so many lies and have replaced them with truths.

I no longer need to impress people or exhaust myself trying to get people to like me. And I have begun to walk in the immense freedom that comes when you live as loved.

And I stand here gently whispering to anyone who feels like I felt three years ago, “Do you want to get well?”

On today’s podcast episode, I’m honored to have our pastor on to share more about his story, what prompted him to start this Discipleship Program over 7 years ago, and some of the life-changing truths Jesse and I have learned in it.

If you’ve ever wondered more about this program I’ve mentioned OR you are just feeling stuck, lethargic, and emotionally unhealthy, please do not miss this episode!

In This Episode:

[00:25] – Welcome back to the Crystal Paine Show! I give a little backstory about today’s guest, our pastor Eric Hoffman.

[03:37] – The first six months after we moved were a low point for Jesse. He struggled to find his worth outside of his work.

[06:36] – Being part of the Discipleship Program at our church is truly what God used to radically shift his perspective and understanding of God. It also helped him uncover and discover his giftings and the way he is wired.

[08:29] -I share how I was very reluctant to sign up for the Discipleship Program and talk about how exhausting and hard it was for me to go through it the first year. And yet, ultimately, it ended up changing my life in powerful ways. And then, Jesse and I have both had the opportunity to lead small groups through the program the last few years.

[10:36] – Eric takes us back to his less-compassionate days, and explains what brought him to where he is today.

[14:08] – We hear a story about Eric’s conversation with a friend in a coffee shop.

[16:12] – How did Eric manage to keep living out of the truths of what he had learned in day-to-day life?

[19:11] – I talk about how much the program has changed not only my life, but also those of the women I’ve gotten to walk through it with.

[22:37] – What are some first steps that people can take to get out of living in a rut? Eric shares a lot of practical tools and resources here.

[32:54] – Eric leaves us with a great idea of something that he and his wife do with their kids at the dinner table to teach them how to express their emotions in a healthy way.

Links and Resources:

How to Listen to The Crystal Paine Show

The podcast is available on iTunesAndroidStitcher, and Spotify. You can listen online through the direct player we’ll include in the show notes of each episode. OR, a much easier way to listen is by subscribing to the podcast through a free podcast app on your phone. (Find instructions for how to subscribe to a podcast here.)

Ready to dive in and listen? Hit the player above or search for “The Crystal Paine Show” on your favorite podcast app.

Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you click through and make a purchase, we may receive a small commission — at no additional cost to you. Thank you so much for your support!

How to Be Married to a Strong Woman

Want to know what it’s like to be married to a strong woman? Jesse and I have been married for over 16 years and we’ve learned a lot through trial and error. In this podcast episode, we share our best advice, hard-won lessons, and practical tips for working through your differences in marriage.

Missed previous episodes of The Crystal Paine show? You can listen to them here.

How to Be Married to a Strong Woman

How to Be Married to a Strong Woman

Jesse surprised me as we were prepping for this week’s podcast episode by telling me he had recently deleted Facebook off of his phone. I had no idea that he had, but I had noticed he has been knocking things off his to do list right and left.

In this episode, we not only talk about boundaries we’ve set for our phones, a book we are reading, and recent travels. Plus, we tackle a somewhat hot-button topic that multiple listeners requested: How our marriage works since I have such a strong personality.

Working Through Conflict Live on the Podcast

As we start discussing the topic, we actually offer a perfect unplanned example of how we work through conflict and misunderstanding — because I began this segment by saying something that rubbed Jesse the wrong way.

He and I walk through this together, talk about how it made him feel, what I was trying to communicate, and how I could have said it better. We then go on to discuss what we’ve learned in the past 16 years of our marriage and how we make it work, even when we disagree.

We end up with (again, unintentionally!) sharing the ABC’s of a healthy marriage: acknowledge your weaknesses, believe the best about your spouse, and communicate your hearts.

In This Episode:

[02:33] – Thank you so much for listening to the podcast and a big special shout-out to those who have left reviews. I read a kind review that a listener recently left for the show. (Psst! I love it when you leave reviews and we may read your review on a future episode!)

[03:30] – We talk about what’s saving our lives these days. I was so inspired by Jesse’s answer. In fact, I changed what I was planning to share as a result!

[09:47] – My book pick this week is one that my sister recommended: The Tattooist of Auschwitz by Heather Morris. Have you read it?

[14:38] – Are you interested in blogging? Curious about starting? I’d love to have you join me in my free blogging class!

[15:43] – I explain what Jesse and I will do in our episodes now that we’re done sharing our story, and introduce today’s topic. We then accidentally demonstrate this dynamic ourselves.

[20:00] – This example illustrates that it’s important for me to recognize that I tend to say things that make Jesse feel run over.

[22:20] – In the context of our marriage, what has helped Jesse not feel bull dozed by my strong personality. We talk about keys we’ve learned for better communicating and why it’s so important to recognize your differences and acknowledge when you feel hurt or shut down.

[32:29] – We also offer some simple steps to a healthier marriage: acknowledge your weaknesses, believe the best about your spouse, and communicate your hearts.

[33:18] – Today’s Q&A question is this: “What are some good questions to ask the person you’re dating?” We share suggestions ranging from finances to personality type to praying together.

[40:19] – If you have any questions, suggestions, feedback, or a topic you want us to talk about in the future, send me an email at crystal@moneysavingmom.com!

Links and Resources:

How to Listen to The Crystal Paine Show

The podcast is available on iTunesAndroidStitcher, and Spotify. You can listen online through the direct player we’ll include in the show notes of each episode. OR, a much easier way to listen is by subscribing to the podcast through a free podcast app on your phone. (Find instructions for how to subscribe to a podcast here.)

Ready to dive in and listen? Hit the player above or search for “The Crystal Paine Show” on your favorite podcast app.

Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you click through and make a purchase, we may receive a small commission — at no additional cost to you. Thank you so much for your support!