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Tag Archive: The Crystal Paine Show

How to Handle Negative, Critical Comments

What’s the best thing to do when you get a negative comment or find out you have disappointed someone? In this episode, Jesse and I talk about how to handle negative comments and what true confidence looks like. 

Missed previous episodes of The Crystal Paine show? You can listen to them here.

Crystal Paine with cup of tea

We Get to Choose Our Response

I’m coming at ya with no makeup and wet hair to say this important word to you: We can’t choose what other people say about us or say to us, but we do get to choose our response.

Every day, pretty much, I hear from people who don’t like something I’ve done or not done.

It could be as simple as the fact that I use plastic bags (a number of people have been really bothered by this recently) or something much bigger like that they think I’m failing as a leader (this was something that happened this past year in a leadership position I was in).

How should you respond when other people are bothered, hurt, upset, offended, or critical of you (or are expressing valid concerns)? Well, I’ve made a lot of mistakes in this regard and have learned (and am learning!) a lot of things the hard way.

Our Response is Always Our Responsibility.

True confidence is not figuring out how to get everyone to like you; it’s confidently being true to who you were created to be — even when you know not everyone is going to like you.

This has been one of the greatest (and hardest!) lessons for me to learn in life… that it’s okay if I’m a disappointment to some people or people just don’t like me.

I won’t lie. I still struggle with this many days. But the more that I know who I am in Christ, the less I worry about what other people think. And the more I rest in how much I am loved by God, the less I worry about gaining the approval of others.

I think it will be a lifelong journey for me and I doubt I’ll ever be 100% over ever insecurity this side of heaven. But I’m celebrating the progress and growing confidence to be true to who I have been created to be, regardless of what others think.

This week on the podcast, Jesse and I have a real honest conversation about what to do when you get a negative comment or disappoint someone or someone is just not happy with you for one reason or another. We talk in-depth about how to respond and the difference between being confident and cocky.

Remember: we have no control over what others say to us, but our response is always our responsibility. ❤️

In This Episode: 

[04:38] – Listen for the return of “What’s saving our lives!”

[10:39] – Jesse and I talk about the books we have been reading recently and I share a quote from one that really impacted me.

[14:02] – Check out how to earn Amazon gift cards and hear about our new hot deals email list.

[15:49] – We dig into today’s topic on confidence and disappointing people. What is confidence? How do you build it? How is it different than being cocky?

[28:06] – It’s so easy to fall into the trap of focusing on the negativity of the 1% instead of remembering that there is no way we can please everyone.

[30:03] – What does it look like to truly live as loved?

Links and Resources:

Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: crystal@moneysavingmom.com

How to Listen to The Crystal Paine Show

The podcast is available on iTunesAndroidStitcher, and Spotify. You can listen online through the direct player we’ll include in the show notes of each episode. OR, a much easier way to listen is by subscribing to the podcast through a free podcast app on your phone. (Find instructions for how to subscribe to a podcast here.)

Ready to dive in and listen? Hit the player above or search for “The Crystal Paine Show” on your favorite podcast app.

Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you click through and make a purchase, we may receive a small commission — at no additional cost to you. Thank you so much for your support!

Raising Kids Who Want to Talk to Us

How do you get your kids to want to talk to you? How do you foster open communication and trust? In this episode, Jesse and I share some lessons we’ve learned the hard way when it comes to building trust with our kids.

Missed previous episodes of The Crystal Paine show? You can listen to them here.

Building Trust With Our Kids

“Do you feel like you can come to us and share your struggles honestly?”

We sat the girls down last week and asked them this question. I told them that someone had requested we do a podcast episode on building trust and open communication with your kids and we wanted to get their truthful opinion on whether they felt it was a topic we could tackle.

Four years ago, I was deep in the trenches of parenting for my own reputation. When a child was struggling or had made a bad choice, I approached it — unknowingly — from the perspective of, “What will make me look good as a parent?”

It’s hard to admit that out loud, but it’s true. I cared way more what people thought of ME than I cared about my kids’ hearts.

As a result of this, I wasn’t close with my kids. I didn’t truly know their hearts.

There wasn’t a trust relationship built up and they didn’t feel like they could honestly share how they felt — because I would probably snap at them if I felt like they weren’t approaching something maturely enough. (They’ve since told me this was how they felt.)

The Guilt I Carried as a Mom

There was very little grace in my parenting and I carried around a heavy backpack full of guilt… for how I was failing, for the ways my kids weren’t living up to my expectations of them. All of this was rooted in my unhealthy prioritization of what others thought of me.

In turn, I became my kids’ critic, nit-picker, and Holy Spirit. I struggled to see the good because I was constantly frustrated by how they were falling short.

And every day, I was driving a bigger wedge between my kids and me.

This week on the podcast — with the girls’ blessing and lots of their input and suggestions (!) — we share what has changed in the way we approach parenting. We talk about practical ways we’ve fostered trust and good communication with our kids (most of the ideas we share are suggestions the girls gave — and they did not hold back in their thoughts and opinions on this!)

In This Episode: 

[00:57] – Jesse and I recap our travel adventures in Utah, Wyoming, Montana, and Idaho — including our thoughts on Grand Teton National ParkYellowstone National Park, and Old Faithful.

[19:49] – Believe it or not, Jesse read more than me this past week! He shares the two books he recently finished.

[22:00] – Want your kids to keep reading over the summer? Check out this printable we created!

[23:41] – On this episode, we answer another one of our listener’s questions about establishing a trusting and open relationship with our kids. We talk about the importance of making time for one-on-one conversations, but not trying to force them. {Kathrynne’s advice!}

[29:19] – We also discuss how being willing to apologize and admit when we’re wrong can make such a difference. One thing that has made a big difference is us acknowledging with our kids that feelings are not wrong, but it’s how we act on those feelings.

[31:57] – Ask questions to open the doors of communication and listen rather than preach sermons! Step into your kid’s world and invite them to share in yours. Spend time doing things that your kids like to do!

[40:13] – We share ways we’ve let the kids make their own decisions in their lives, allowing us to build our trust.

Links and Resources:

Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: crystal@moneysavingmom.com

How to Listen to The Crystal Paine Show

The podcast is available on iTunesAndroidStitcher, and Spotify. You can listen online through the direct player we’ll include in the show notes of each episode. OR, a much easier way to listen is by subscribing to the podcast through a free podcast app on your phone. (Find instructions for how to subscribe to a podcast here.)

Ready to dive in and listen? Hit the player above or search for “The Crystal Paine Show” on your favorite podcast app.

Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you click through and make a purchase, we may receive a small commission — at no additional cost to you. Thank you so much for your support!

Some of our very favorite things

Want to know what some of our favorite things are? In this episode, Jesse and I share about our favorite books, movies, podcasts, and much more.

Missed previous episodes of The Crystal Paine show? You can listen to them here.

Some of Our Very Favorite Things

We’ve had some pretty heavy topics on the podcast recently, so we decided to do something fun and more lighthearted for this week’s episode of The Crystal Paine Show.

I asked on Instagram for your best ideas for a lighthearted podcast topic idea and many of you requested that Jesse and I do a Favorite Things episode. 

So pretend you’re sitting down at the table with us having coffee (or tea!) and let’s talk about some of our favorite things. We tell you our favorite:

  • Book
  • Movie
  • Season
  • Place We’ve Lived
  • Bible Verse
  • Color
  • Podcast
  • Place We’ve Traveled To
  • Fruit/Vegetable
  • Thing We Love About Each Other

A Note On This Recording

We recorded the first half of the episode right before we left for our Foster Care licensing training (our last training session! Yay! Now we start our home study!). We didn’t have enough time to get it all recorded, so we ended up recording all of the Favorite Things section after 10 p.m. — which would have been 3 a.m. Iceland time (we had just gotten back from Iceland the night before).

So if you listen closely and are confused as to why we mention it being late and us being tired in the second half, that’s why! I should have done a better job of explaining this in the episode since we start out the episode talking about recording it in the late afternoon. 🙂

In This Episode: 

[01:53] – If you want to know what NOT to do when going to Iceland, we’ll give you the scoop on that + some of the highlights from our trip!

[07:31] – Every time I share about this tip, people have all sorts of questions. But it truly has been saving my life recently! 

[12:04] – I finally got to finish Digital Minimalism while we were on our trip!

[14:41] – Thanks to our followers on Instagram for today’s topic: Our Favorite Things! We start off by discussing our favorite books, music, and season.

[20:35] – Then we move to talking about our favorite place we’ve lived, movies we’ve watched, Bible verses, colors, and podcasts.

[29:57] – Finally, we end with our favorite places we’ve traveled to in the US and internationally, our favorite fruit and veggie, and we end a little on a sappy note — with our favorite things about each other.

Links and Resources:

Have feedback on the show or suggestions for future episodes or topics? Send me an email: crystal@moneysavingmom.com

How to Listen to The Crystal Paine Show

The podcast is available on iTunesAndroidStitcher, and Spotify. You can listen online through the direct player we’ll include in the show notes of each episode. OR, a much easier way to listen is by subscribing to the podcast through a free podcast app on your phone. (Find instructions for how to subscribe to a podcast here.)

Ready to dive in and listen? Hit the player above or search for “The Crystal Paine Show” on your favorite podcast app.

Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you click through and make a purchase, we may receive a small commission — at no additional cost to you. Thank you so much for your support!

For Those Who Struggle With Anxiety

Do you struggle with anxiety? Does your spouse or someone close to you struggle with anxiety? In this episode, Jesse shares really openly about his battles with anxiety and what has helped him not live so paralyzed in fear.

Missed previous episodes of The Crystal Paine show? You can listen to them here.

Struggling With Anxiety?

A few months ago, I did an Instagram Live on anxiety where I talked about what to say to someone who struggles with anxiety.

In that video, I opened up about walking with Jesse through his anxiety and the lessons that I’ve learned through it. After I did that video, I got a lot of feedback and followup questions and some requests for us to do a podcast dedicated to the topic.

I asked Jesse if he’d be willing to record a podcast episode with me on the topic — and he said yes!

Don’t miss this week’s really honest episode on anxiety. Jesse shares candidly about all the sleepless nights and doctor’s visits and tests he’s had and what has helped him to process through his anxiety and not live life paralyzed in fear.

If you’ve ever battled anxiety or you are close to someone who does, I hope Jesse’s story and honesty will really encourage you.

In This Episode:

[00:26] – Welcome back to the Traveling Diaries of the Paine family! I start by giving some life updates and sharing some funny . and rather crazy stories from the past few days.

[12:05] – Today, Jesse is opening up about his struggles with anxiety. His anxiety has manifested itself through fear of storms, health-related anxiety, and travel anxiety. We talk about how some of this was likely related to trauma from his childhood.

[21:56] – What do you say to someone who is struggling with anxiety? It was hard to know how to respond when Jesse would spin out with health-related stress. Should I have compassion or should I tell him it’s anxiety? We’ve spent a lot of money on health-related tests and Jesse has spent hours upon hours and sleepless nights Googling his health conditions.

[26:48] – We chat about what not to say to someone with anxiety and how you need to address the root of the anxiety, not just the surface manifestation. Also, Jesse shares what has helped him stop being so controlled by anxiety. It’s simple, but it’s made such a difference. 

[36:12] – Not all anxiety is created equal! Make sure to treat your anxiety holistically.

[39:58] – Acknowledging and healing our own anxiety has helped us to better parent by recognizing anxiety triggers and giving our kids the space to express their emotions and feelings.

Links and Resources:

How to Listen to The Crystal Paine Show

The podcast is available on iTunesAndroidStitcher, and Spotify. You can listen online through the direct player we’ll include in the show notes of each episode. OR, a much easier way to listen is by subscribing to the podcast through a free podcast app on your phone. (Find instructions for how to subscribe to a podcast here.)

Ready to dive in and listen? Hit the player above or search for “The Crystal Paine Show” on your favorite podcast app.

Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you click through and make a purchase, we may receive a small commission — at no additional cost to you. Thank you so much for your support!

What it’s really like to be married to your business partner

Wonder what it’s like to be married to your business partner? In this episode, Jesse and talk about hospitality, summer habits, and what it’s like to combine marriage and business.

Missed previous episodes of The Crystal Paine show? You can listen to them here.

Just Open the Door!

Remember that goal I set in 2018 to open our home every single week? It was hard and scary at first, but the more we did it, the more it’s become second nature to use!

Last week alone, we opened up our home all week to host three college girls who are volunteering at Pine Cove Camp in the City, we hosted the Girls’ Bible Study for the teen girls at church (I think maybe 20 girls came?), we had multiple teens over, we had two couples over for dinner, and we had a family over for dinner.

And I loved it!

In this week’s episode of The Crystal Paine Show, Jesse and I talk more about the lessons we’ve learned on hospitality recently. We also share how it has changed our lives to re-define what true hospitality is.

(Want to hear more encouragement for practicing hospitality, even if it scares you? Be sure to check out the episode devoted to this topic with Jen Schmidt, author of Just Open the Door.)

The Habit Trackers We’re Using This Summer

We also dive into the topic of Habit Trackers and how both of us are using them this summer — me for a specific goal and Jesse to help the kids stay on track and be more productive. I share how I’ve been making huge progress toward a goal with just a simple change in my perspective and by putting some accountability in place.

And Jesse shares how the printable habit lists he put together for the kids have made a big difference in encouraging the kids to work hard, play hard, and spend less time on electronics!

What It’s Like to Be Married to Your Business Partner

Instead of an interview, Jesse and I answer a follower’s questions on what it’s really like to work together as a married couple. We discuss decision making, how we handle conflict and disagreement, who decides how the money is spent, how we make decisions on what risks to take, and how we balance being a spender and a saver who are also married and in business together.

Whether you are a couple who works together or you are just curious to hear more of the behind-the-scenes of our business operations or you just want to know how we’ve stayed friends and business partners who are also married, you won’t want to miss this episode!

In This Episode:

[00:51] – So many people have been in and out of our house lately that we joke that we’re past the “Just Open the Door” stage and have moved onto “Just Leave the Door Open” stage!

[07:01] – Have you ever used a habit tracker? I just started using one to better prioritize my time and it’s working! (so far…) You can check it out here, I snagged it from Abby Lawson.

[13:30] – Jesse has been using a habit tracker with the kids to keep them busy and engaged! They are working toward a big “end of summer” surprise!

[16:26] – Over the next few weeks, Jesse and I will be tackling some of the most-asked questions and topics you all have submitted as podcast episode suggestions.

[17:06] – This week, we’re having a very honest conversation about what it’s like to be married and business partners — and how we make it work all while staying best friends.

[19:32] – How do we make big business decisions — does one person have more say than another? We share more on our roles and how they play out.

[24:09] – What if we don’t agree? We chat about what we do when we don’t agree and agreeing often involves waiting or compromising.

[28:12] – One of us is a spender and the other is a saver (can you guess who is who?) How does this work in our business?

Links and Resources:

How to Listen to The Crystal Paine Show

The podcast is available on iTunesAndroidStitcher, and Spotify. You can listen online through the direct player we’ll include in the show notes of each episode. OR, a much easier way to listen is by subscribing to the podcast through a free podcast app on your phone. (Find instructions for how to subscribe to a podcast here.)

Ready to dive in and listen? Hit the player above or search for “The Crystal Paine Show” on your favorite podcast app.

Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you click through and make a purchase, we may receive a small commission — at no additional cost to you. Thank you so much for your support!

Why We Stopped Homeschooling

For those who have written and asked why we stopped homeschooling, don’t miss this episode! Jesse and I are joined by our kids to share the whole story.

Missed previous episodes of The Crystal Paine show? You can listen to them here.

Why We Stopped Homeschooling

On August 16, 2016, I posted the above picture on Instagram with this caption:

Today is a bittersweet day. After many years of homeschooling, I just dropped the kids off at the new Classical School they are attending this year.

I’m so grateful for those sweet years I had to be a homeschool mom. I’m also grateful for God’s direction this year (for a long list of reasons) that a different schooling option is best for our family and our kids.

I won’t pretend it’s been an easy decision. It’s one that we made with a tremendous amount of thought, prayer, discussion, and tears.

Ultimately, we have so much peace as we walk into this new season. There will be new challenges and new opportunities and I’m excited to see what God has in store as we trust Him to lead one step at a time.

Since posting that Instagram post almost three years ago, we’ve gotten a lot of questions about why we stopped homeschooling and how we knew it was the right decision for our family.

I Know This Can Be a Bit Controversial

I know that schooling choices and decisions are incredibly personal and can be somewhat controversial, so I wasn’t sure that I ever wanted to broach this topic publicly… and I really haven’t for 3 years.

But then, we got many requests to interview our kids on the podcast. We decided to move forward with this and I asked you all on Instagram to submit questions you’d like for us to ask them on their podcast interview.

To our surprise, there were SO many questions begging us to talk about the transition from homeschooling to private school and how it was for our kids. We asked the kids if they’d be willing to share — and they were.

So, enjoy this very honest family conversation around why we stopped homeschooling, how we came to this decision, how it’s been for our kids (one child was very, very angry about it!), and the best things and hard things about switching from homeschool to private school.

No matter your schooling choices or beliefs, I hope this conversation will encourage you in hard choices you have to make. It’s not always easy and sometimes it’s really scary, but you might look back in three years and realize it was so worth it to jump out in faith and do what felt you were being called to do — despite your fears!

First week of “real” school

Why We Stopped Homeschooling Episode

[01:08] – Jesse and I have so much to share with you today! We kick off the show by talking about our recent trips to Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Iowa.

[08:18] – I share a fun email we received from a listener that proves Jesse is right when he used the word “confluence” in a previous episode. (You guys are cracking me up with how much you’re taking his side in this!!)

[09:05] – My mobile hotspot and the ability to work on the road is what is saving my life this week! I also share about a book I just finished on 9/11.

[14:21] – Today we’re joined by our kids — Kathrynne, Kaitlynn, and Silas — and we’ll be discussing a much-requested topic: why we stopped homeschooling.

[16:57] – We never expected to stop homeschooling. In fact, we had always planned to homeschool through high school. Then, we started realizing that Kathrynne needed a change.

[17:59] – Kathrynne shares how she felt about her social life and gets really honest about her struggles with social anxiety and awkwardness.

[23:32] – Truth be told, while we expected Kathrynne to not be happy about the news, we were shocked that she was as upset as she was. We ask Kaitlynn and Silas about their reaction to the news that they were starting school as well.

[26:46] – The kids talk about what their first day and first weeks of school were like for them given their homeschool background. We’ve loved watching our kids really blossom and come alive in unexpected ways the last three years!

[37:02] – The kids share the harder aspects of going to school like getting up early and having to be away from home all day. Jesse shares his thoughts on the transition and how it affected our identity as parents. We also discuss our process for evaluating each year and what is best for each child.

Links and Resources

The podcast is available on iTunesAndroidStitcher, and Spotify. You can listen online through the direct player we’ll include in the show notes of each episode. OR, subscribe to the podcast through a free podcast app on your phone. (Find instructions for how to subscribe to a podcast here.)

Ready to dive in and listen? Hit the player above or search for “The Crystal Paine Show” on your favorite podcast app.

Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you click through and make a purchase, we may receive a small commission — at no additional cost to you. Thank you so much for your support!