Welcome to the 7-Day Say Goodbye to Survival Mode Challenge. Each day this week, I’ll be blogging through the 7-Day Challenge. If you’ve not signed up yet, enter your name and email in the orange sign-up box at the top of the page here and you’ll get the daily emails and challenge in your inbox.

Just Say No

Today’s topic is a hard one. And it’s one that almost wrecked my health, marriage, and home.

It’s about that little word “no”.

Confession time: I want people to like me. I want people to think I have it together. I don’t like being viewed as the girl who is a mess, is always behind, and can’t ever seem to get with the program.

So for years, I hid my messes and struggles. I pretended I was WonderWoman. And I said yes. A lot.

Sure, I’ll help you with that project.

Sure, I’ll join your group.

Sure, I’ll volunteer for that.

Sure, I’ll meet with you.

Sure, I’ll babysit for you.

And on and on it went. Until I couldn’t keep going on any longer because I was completely exhausted, utterly maxed out, and totally overwhelmed.

What I didn’t seem to realize was that when I was saying yes to one thing, I was in essence saying no to something else. That something else was often sleep, my health, my marriage, my kids, and my sanity.

As I chronicle in my new book, it took me hitting rock bottom before I had the wake-up call that changed my life and gave me the courage to admit I couldn’t do it all. As a result, I started saying no. A lot.

At first, it was so hard for me. But I quickly realized that the world wouldn’t fall apart if I didn’t say yes to everything. Plus, I’ve found I have so much more breathing room and peace in my life as a result of saying no. This gave me more resolve to continue to say no!

How would it feel for you to say no more often? To set boundaries and give yourself much-needed breathing room? Here are a few tips to help you get started:

1. Count the Costs.

Before committing to anything, count the costs. What are you going to have to give up in order to do this thing or attend this event or write this post or participate in this series? Is it worth what you’re giving up? If you’re not 100% sure that it is, then say “no.”

2. Give Yourself Grace.

Don’t beat yourself up over what you’re not doing. Don’t compare yourself to other seeming “supermoms.” Don’t stress over what’s being left undone.

Stick with the basics and lower your expectations. Maybe it’s not the time for tackling big projects, volunteering for ministry opportunities, or doing detailed, in-depth cleaning. If your family has clean laundry and food in their bellies, most of the other stuff can wait.

3. Practice Saying No.

Get in the habit of saying no more often than you say yes. Stop letting people manipulate you into a miserable existence. Stop doing things just because you feel obligated or because you’re afraid of what people might think of you if you don’t do them.

Focus on your list of priorities. If saying no to something means your attention is drawn to what matters most—trust me, it’s a good thing.

{My to-do list for today.}

Today’s Challenge

Sit down somewhere quiet and compose a to-do list for tomorrow. Include everything on your plate, from the moment you wake up until you go to bed. When you’re finished, force yourself to immediately eliminate three items from your list. Just cross them out.

Today’s Project

Leave a comment telling me what three things you’re eliminating from your to-do list today. I can’t wait to hear — and I hope that this frees up some breathing room in your day!

My 3 things I’m saying no to today:

1) Time-consuming dinner prep. I’m making a really simple dinner tonight — hamburgers, steamed veggies, and fruit.

2) Leaving the house. After a busy weekend, we’re staying home all day today. We find it’s so good to stay home all day at least a few days each week. And while I have some errands I was thinking of doing this afternoon, I’m going to bump them to later this week to give some breathing room for today.

3) Being on the computer after 6 p.m. I’ve been doing my best to stay off the computer in the evenings and keeping that reserved for family time, knitting, and reading. I’m committing to shut the computer off by 6 p.m. tonight — and if I have more work to do, I can save it for tomorrow.

Welcome to the 7-Day Say Goodbye to Survival Mode Challenge. Each day this week, I’ll be blogging through the 7-Day Challenge. If you’ve not signed up yet, enter your name and email in the orange sign-up box at the top of the page here and you’ll get the daily emails and challenge in your inbox.

Recognize & Appreciate Your Gifts

It’s so easy to look at other women and feel like we don’t measure up. I know this, because I’ve been so guilty of it.

In fact, not too long ago, I was speaking to a group of bloggers and I confessed to them that if Pinterest had been around when I first started blogging, I probably would have been too discouraged to even try blogging.

Because these bloggers on Pinterest can be inspiring… and yes, intimidating. For instance:

• I’m just thankful to have gotten a fairly nutritious lunch on the table for my kids where they are making homemade Goldfish crackers, homemade fruit rollups, and arranging their child’s food in a way that it looks like a work of art.
• I’m just happy to have gotten our Christmas presents wrapped and they are making hand-stamped Christmas wrapping paper, handmade gift bows, and hand-sewn gift tags.
• I’m just happy to have gotten a showered, gotten dressed, and put on a little makeup while they making videos on how they do their hair in some amazingly fancy up-do, blogging about how to put together incredible designer-knock-off outfits from thrift store finds, and doing red-carpet-worthy makeup tutorials.
• I’m just happy to have my bed made and the house picked up and they are re-upholstering their couches, painting murals on their kid’s bedroom wall, and building custom shelves in their closets.

Yes, it can be discouraging to look around (or online) and see so much talent and skill. And we can start to feel like we have nothing to offer. But that’s not true at all!

I was reminded of this just yesterday. One of my children was struggling with learning a new skill and they finally got so frustrated that they stormed into their room saying, “I’m just not good at anything!”

My heart broke for this child. They have so much skill, so much talent, and so much creativity. But they didn’t see any of that; they only could see the one thing they couldn’t seem to do.

And that’s how we are often. We focus on what we can’t do, what we’re not good at, and how we don’t measure up. All the while missing the incredible gifts and talents each of us have.

Today’s Challenge

This challenge is all about you. I want you take 10 minutes to brainstorm your innate gifts, talents, and abilities. Think about what really lights you up, what people rave about or what you may even take for granted because it comes so easily for you. To get your creative juices flowing, stand up and stretch or turn on some music if you like. Maybe even step outside for some fresh air.

Then, set a timer for 10 minutes (I use Online-Stopwatch.com or the timer on my phone) and write down what you like, admire, and appreciate about yourself. If you get stuck, call a family member, friend, or colleague and ask them to tell you your top three strengths. You DO have talents and gifts, you just may need a little help recognizing them.

Today’s Project

1. Read Day 2 of the 7-Day Say Goodbye to Survival Mode Challenge (type in your name and email address in the orange box at the top of the page here if you haven’t signed up yet).

2. Leave a comment telling us about 5 of your gifts. If you’re anything like me, this can be a hard exercise. But it’s so good and so important. You can figure out what you’re passionate about and how to use your gifts and talents in a way that blesses and impacts others if you can’t even see them in the first place!

5 of My Gifts:

• The gift of organization — I love to look at the big picture of a project and figure out the bite-sized steps one needs to take to complete that project.
• The gift of a good memory — I rarely forget things (though it does happen occasionally!) and I’ve only recently realized what a gift this is — especially because I have a lot of irons in the fire right now and a lot of details I’m overseeing as a wife, mom, and business owner.
• The gift of perseverance — I’m very determined and focused and don’t give up easily.
• The gift of writing — I can’t not write. It’s how I process things and am beginning to realize writing is one of the ways I “make art” — even if the final product sometimes feels less than stellar. 🙂
• The gift of encouragement — I love to be a cheerleader for others and am always looking for ways to uplift and affirm others.

Your turn! What are five of your gifts? Leave a comment telling us about them!

photo credit

Welcome to the 7-Day Say Goodbye to Survival Mode Challenge. Each day this week, I’ll be blogging through the 7-Day Challenge. If you’ve not signed up yet, enter your name and email in the orange sign-up box at the top of the page here and you’ll get the daily emails and challenge in your inbox.

If you want to be more productive, you need to become the master of your minutes. Do you ever find yourself with short five-minute windows of time here and there? Our schedules are so jam packed, but there always seem to be those little niches of time that pop up throughout the day.

It’s easy to mindlessly pick up your phone, browse the web, or check your Facebook news feed for the tenth time. Sometimes, we’re not even aware that we’re spacing out. But consider what you can actually accomplish in a few minutes of time. For example, you can do the following:

• Write a thank-you note or encouraging e-mail.

• Clean the kitchen sink or bathroom toilet.

• Switch a load of laundry from the washer to the dryer.

• Pull out dinner from the freezer.

• Make a healthy snack to munch on instead of grazing on high-calorie, low-nutrition foods.

• Take your vitamins, and drink a glass of water.

• Do twenty-five sit-ups.

• Tidy up a room.

• Read a short story to your child.

• Wipe down the kitchen counters.

• Text your husband to tell him you love him.

• Read two pages of the book you’re currently reading.

• Pray for someone you know who is struggling or for a need in your own life.

There are a thousand other ideas for how to use wisely the little slots of time that show up throughout the day. Don’t let these golden nuggets slip by unproductively! They can quickly add up in your favor. In fact, if you pay attention and make purposeful choices, you may find they add up exponentially.

Today’s Project:

Look for little pockets of time throughout the day that you can use to accomplish some of the tasks above — or other small tasks. I bet you’ll find that you have at least 5-10 of these pockets throughout your day (maybe more!) and if you put them to work for you, you’ll end the day feeling much more accomplished!

Your turn: Tell us 1-3 things you accomplish or plan to accomplish today in the little pockets of time. Also, if you have time, I’d love to hear what ideas you have to add to my list of things you can accomplish in a few minutes.

photo credit

Welcome to the 7-Day Say Goodbye to Survival Mode Challenge. Each day this week, I’ll be blogging through the 7-Day Challenge. If you’ve not signed up yet, enter your name and email in the orange sign-up box at the top of the page here and you’ll get the daily emails and challenge in your inbox.

Why You Need an Accountability Partner

If you want to be successful at anything in life, having an accountability partner will highly motivate you and keep you inspired when you don’t want to stick with it.

You can’t build good habits and discipline in life alone. Well, you can, but I guarantee you it will be a lot harder to keep at it if you don’t have anyone encouraging you along the way.

Whenever I run by myself, I’ve found that I tend to go easier on myself and stop earlier than I planned. If my side starts hurting or I have a long to-do list, I use that as an excuse for a short run. However, when I run with someone else, I’m always motivated to push a little harder, go a little faster, and not give up when I feel winded and tired.

It’s the same with life: when you feel like you’re going it alone, it’s harder to keep on when the going gets rough. But when you have others around you who are encouraging you, checking up on you, or texting you to make sure you’re following through with your morning run, you’re much more apt to actually stick with your goals.

How to Find An Accountability Partner

You might be thinking, “I wish I had an accountability partner, but I don’t even know where to find one.” Well, it might not be as hard as you think. Start with your local friends and family and see if anyone would like to join you in keeping each other accountable to one specific goal on a regular basis.

If you can’t find anyone locally, ask friends on Facebook, Twitter, your blog, or other online groups you’re a part of. Or, search and see if there’s already an online support group of some sort (such as the Good Morning Girls or Hello Mornings Challenge, if you’re working on getting up early).

This Weekend’s Challenge

You can’t live a purposeful life on your own. Find a friend who is willing to keep you on task.

Contact them by email or phone today and present your proposal. If they accept, schedule a start date for regular check-ins, whether online, in person, or over the phone. Share ideas on how to practically engage in an accountability relationship.

No more excuses! It’s time to hold yourself accountable!

Your Turn: Who is your accountability partner? If you don’t have one already, think about who you are going to ask today to become your accountability partner.

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