This girl brings so much sunshine and smiles to our life!
We spent a few hours recently renewing our CPR certification for foster care.
I’ve been finding lots of marked down bananas recently, so we freeze them and then make green smoothies with them (frozen banana, milk, greens, and peanut butter). So good!
She’s such a little mama to Baby D.
One of my single mom friends had appendicitis and I found out that she was at the hospital all by herself, so I dropped everything to spend the day at the hospital with her when she had her surgery. Single moms are incredible… and they often are not good at asking for help, but they can often feel really alone. If you know a single mom in your life, how can you show up and let her know she is loved and not alone today?
I wrote this on Instagram recently: I sat next to her at a Christmas brunch a year and a half ago. We laughed about our kids and funny motherhood stories. She updated me on her current cancer treatments. I shared where we were at in our foster care journey.
We said goodbye at the end of the brunch… and I had no idea that would be the last time I would ever see her on this earth (she passed away shortly after that brunch).
I’ve thought a lot about what I would have said had I known it would be my last time to ever talk with her. And it’s made me change the way I’ve approached life from here on out.
In fact, I often think now: If this were my last conversation with this person, what would I want to make sure that I told them? And then I try to actually speak those words regularly to tell them I love them, to tell them how much I appreciate them, to tell them how their life is impacting mine. It costs zero dollars; but it just might completely change someone’s world for us to speak life and love out loud to them!
She’s so proud of the fact that she’s learning how to walk in her new shoes (it took her a number of tries and falls, but she finally got it!)
This is a perfect picture of what a lot of my evenings look like right now. And I wouldn’t trade it for the world!
I’m in this weird season of having both teenagers and a toddler. (Plus a pre-teen and a baby!) We’re still remembering how to navigate diapers, nursing, teething, naps, baby-led weaning, and learning to walk and talk while also forging into the whole new world of a teen who is driving all over now, just got a new job, and is talking about college prep, ACT prep, college scholarships, and dual credit.
The mail came and in it was a flier “for your new baby” (Baby D), a copy of The Little Engine That Could (from the Dolly Parton Imagination Library), and more college brochures. I just had to laugh! This is our life — toggling from car seats and poopy diapers to job applications and late night talks about college, friends, boys, and the future.
It’s exhausting and exhilarating all at once. And when I see these two together and the sweet relationship they have despite a 15+ year age difference, my heart is so full! ❤️
Guess who got to come for a visit?? Our sweet little Champ. Oh how we love this boy! (If you’re new here, we fostered him for 8 months last year and then he reunified with his mama.)
These two always get SO excited to see one another. We brought both of them home from the hospital within 4 weeks of each other, so they have a sort of twin-like relationship and it’s the cutest!
They worked on organizing the kitchen drawers for me. 😉
“I love having teenagers!” I said this to a young mom recently who told me how she gets so discouraged with people telling her, “Just enjoy these years when they are young because it’s not going to be fun when they are teens.” She sighed and said to me, “I wish people would stop declaring such negativity over my kids’ futures!”
I couldn’t “Amen” her statement fast enough! And I loved getting to share with her how much I love having teens. Sure, we have hard moments and days. Sure, there are hormones and disagreements. But overall, I just love having teenagers!
I love our deep discussions and our silly inside jokes. I love watching them spread their wings and stick their necks out. I love learning from their perspectives and having them teach me how to use electronics and play video games (I’m working on learning to play Rocket League right now and I’m terrible at it, but I’m having a blast trying to figure it out!)
One of the best parts of having teens is that our home has a constant influx of other teens coming over to hang out. I want to claim all of them as my own — and I love hearing their boisterous laughter filling our home, can’t get enough of our late-night discussions, and my heart is so happy watching friendships develop and deepen as they consume way too much junk food together. (What’s with all teens seeming to love Spicy Doritos, Takis, Sour Candy, and Oreos?? I see the combos of food they will have laid out and be plowing through and I just cringe at thinking of how I would feel to have all of that combined in my own stomach!)
Young moms: don’t let anyone tell you that the teen years are going to be this awful, horrific time! Yes, you will need Jesus like never before, but instead of dreading it, I encourage you to look forward to it! Practice staying up late, get used to lots of opening up your hands and letting go and trusting God, and maybe stock up on Spicy Doritos… and then get ready for a wild and wonderful ride of stepping back and watching your kids walk into adulthood! It’s an amazing journey with lots of beauty and laughter on the way, if you have eyes to see the gifts and goodness that is there!
I got to see my friend, Erin (from The Humbled Homemaker), while she and her family were in town this past week.
Things I never thought would be part of my normal, every day life — syringing meds and juice through a feeding tube!
Kaitlynn is loving being back to hardcore skating again! (She’s currently going to the rink five days a week and working with three different coaches. It’s so fun to see her passion come out in this!)
Did you see my post on how I prep lettuce for a week of salads?
Baby D is doing so well in therapy! We are so incredibly proud of him and the progress he is making!
Her smile is infectious!
I’m all about keeping it real here, so instead of trying to pretend I’ve got it all together, I’ll just be honest and say I had some rough patches this past week. Yes, there were a lot of extra stretching things and I was up a lot more than usual with a fussy baby and toddler.
But instead of practicing what I preach about leaning into the Holy Spirit and looking to Him for strength — especially on the exhausting and overwhelming days — I tried to power through on my own… and that did not work well. In fact, I had to go back and apologize to every member of my family one night this past week because I had snapped at them or gotten frustrated in front of them.
I’m putting this out here publicly as a reminder for myself this Monday: I need Jesus. I can’t do this life I have been called to live on my own. I’m not adequate in and of myself. But in Christ, I can do all things.
I don’t have to try to muddle through this life on my own; as a Christian, I have God’s Spirit in me! When I feel tired, I can look to Him for energy. When I feel overwhelmed, I can ask Him for peace and clarity. When I feel frustrated, I can shoot up a flare prayer for patience.
“Lord, help me to remember to rely upon You and rest in You today. In the moments that feel stretching, may that push me to lean on You. Let me rest in Your love for me and in the knowledge that You are sufficient when I feel inadequate, that You are Enough when I feel like I don’t have what it takes. And may I wholeheartedly trust in Your supernatural power instead of trying to power through today on my own. You have everything I need to do everything you have called me to today. I rest in that and eagerly anticipate how I’m going to see Your faithfulness and goodness show up in the mundane and magical moments of today.”
Getting to be an in-between mama has been one of the greatest blessings and gifts of my life. To love as my own on the behalf of another mama… it has profoundly changed me at my core.
I don’t know what the future holds for this little boy. But I have been given today to love deeply and with abandon. To attach hard. To advocate fiercely for. To speak words of life and love over him. To pray wholeheartedly for his future. To snuggle and hug and rock and sing to and read to and say, “I love you” over and over again.
If we’re being honest, none of us know the future for anyone or anything. But we have today. Let’s not miss the moments to speak love and life to those around us. To say with our actions and how we show up, “You have value and worth. You are loved. You are worth advocating for and fighting for.”
Jessica says
Praise the Lord! Thank you for sharing your beautiful journey.
Christine says
I appreciate your views on teens. Mine are similar though not quite emotionally based. Perhaps some of the teen stereotypes are driven from giving up parental control. We’ve had a rough 2 1/2 years—long-term unemployment, preparing to move out of state for new job, accepting we need to leave our home of 15 years, breaking our 9th grade son’s heart with the move, getting our 12th grade son ready for college and adjusting to the idea of not seeing him everyday, preparing for the long distance move by myself, having my husband flying home to see us every few weeks for 6 months, having our sons choose a world-based life and not Christ-based life.
I trust God’s plan but it’s very difficult to power through the grief of it all to find joy. I do it but pray it becomes a natural reflex and not a forced effort.
Crystal Paine says
I’m so grateful for Jesus and that we can rely on Him — even in those dark and devastating and just downright difficult seasons. If you get a chance to read Love-Centered Parenting, I think it will encourage you (check your library to see if they have a copy). Not only do I think our story might help you feel a little less alone, but I also hope that the encouragement that it’s not about our kids’ choices or behaviors ultimately, but about our faithfulness! I just stopped and prayed for you.
Karen Jury says
Crystal,
Can I just say I adore you and your family. I am a fellow Jesus freak, cancer survivor, ms patient, mom of 2 teens and 2 young adults, and who also happens to have a heart for foster care/ adoption. I feel like you and I would be good friends if I lived close by rather than in PA. I love you honesty and your reliance on God daily. I have Jeremiah 29:11 permanently tatooed on my wrist as my constant reminder that God’s plan is so much bigger and so much better than my plan for my life. My hubby and I are celebrating 27 years married tomorrow and I can’t imagine a better plan for us than this life we have built with Jesus at the center. Keep doing what you are doing. It’s inspiring.
Crystal Paine says
Aw! Thank you so much for your kind encouragement! Your words blessed me!
Jory says
Ive followed your posts off and on. Im a busy mama like you so I NEVER post comments. Ive got a teen, tween, 8 and 9 yr old and we are currently fostering 2 toddlers. Its nuts and I adore order so Ive never needed Jesus like I do now. Thanks for stepping into the uncomfortable of fostering. We have so little control. Its a whole lot of surrender. I hate asking for help but in this season Im learning to. I have high expectations for myself but Im very slowly learning to let go. Thank you for being real about the hard days./weeks! It makes me feel less alone, less like an outlier as this calling is unique and few (at least near to us) get it. We homeschool too so its all around against the tidd of comfortable! Bless you. Please keep sharing. Its true that the joys and blessings of loving one not our own, even for a hard season, are incredible!!!
Crystal Paine says
You’ve got a LOT on your plate, but it’s in those seasons where you get too see Jesus be so faithful — even when you feel like you’ve got nothing and you don’t have what it takes! Thank you for being willing to say yes!
Bobbie says
Favorite post ever. Hearty amen to everything. Thank you for sharing! I love having a 3 year old and a 19 year old. It reminds me everyday how quick time goes and keeps things in perspective 🙂
Crystal Paine says
YES! I think that the big gap in between gives you a much different perspective in parenting! I’ve slowed down and savored things so much more with Kierstyn!
Naomi says
It was so encouraging to read this post! I used to follow you on Instagram, but I’m no longer on social media so it was fun to see all the pictures and hear your heart for your family again like you share on Instagram. I recently finished your new book, and it touched my heart deeply as I thought about my relationships with my children. Thank you for sharing your experience, wisdom, and insight. I’m thankful for you Crystal!
Crystal Paine says
Aw, thank you so much for reading the book — that means so much to me!!
Chris says
Beautiful thoughts today, Crystal. Thanks for keeping it real. You encouraged me today. ❤️
Crystal Paine says
I’m so grateful it encouraged you!
Ginger says
Thank you for being so real and transparent. You have a beautiful family and a kind heart.
Crystal Paine says
Thank you for your kind encouragement!
Lisa says
I have an almost 15 y/o and a 12 y/o and I completely agree with you about the teenage years. While I sometimes feel wistful their childhood is basically over, I love the nearly grown-up people they are becoming. So many good times are ahead!
Although the grocery bills can be daunting these days. Yikes!!
Crystal Paine says
Yes to loving the grownup people our kids are becoming!!
Adrienne says
I think is one of my favorite posts of yours that I have ever read. So neat to see how God is working in you and through you. So sweet to see Champ come for a visit.
Crystal Paine says
Aw, I’m so glad you enjoyed it. And we just LOVE getting to have Champ come for visits. He is such a gift to our lives and we are so grateful that his mama is willingly choosing to still involve us in his life. Also, he is thriving and meeting milestones and walking everywhere and talking some, too!