Q&A Tuesday

I have learned so much from you about goal-setting. Thank you so much for all your wise and helpful advice. I set goals for 2013 and I’m very excited about them. But I’m finding myself getting overly obsessive about reaching my goals, and I feel terrible if, at the end of the day, I haven’t been able to cross off all my little bite-sized pieces of my goals at the end of the day. I almost feel like I want to give up my goals so I stop being so obsessed. Please help me find a better balance! Thank you! -Laura

Laura, I really appreciate you asking this question. While I’m a big fan of goal-setting, I think it’s imperative that we not go overboard with them so that they control our life — ultimately sucking the joy of living out of life itself.

Goals Are Meant To Be a Blessing, Not a Burden

The reason you set goals is to enhance your life, not to exhaust and over-burden you. If goals become additional stress in your life, they need to be tweaked, rewritten, or dropped altogether.

It’s good to challenge ourselves. It’s good to push ourselves outside our comfort zone. It’s good to aim high and work hard.

But there always need to be room to breathe in life. Charging ahead at breakneck speed just for the sake of speed and productivity is no way to live.

With this in mind, here are five ideas for you to consider trying:

1. Create Weekly Goals Versus Daily Goals

I always encourage people to break their goals down into bite-sized pieces. I encourage this because viewing a big goal in one lump sum can be overwhelming.

However, if you break a goal down so small that you feel obligated to always be working on it every single day — even when the inevitable interruptions come up — you can end up feeling like you’ve failed or fallen way behind when you don’t hit your daily goals every single day.

Perhaps a better option for you would be to choose a few small, bite-sized goals to tackle each week versus each day. Write them down and post them on your refrigerator or somewhere else that you’ll see regularly and then fit them in as you’re able throughout the week.

This way, you are still chipping away at your goals, but you’re doing so in a way that’s more flexible and adaptable to your schedule. On days that you’re really busy, you can just focus on the basics. On days that you have some extra time, you can knock out one or two of the bite-sized pieces.

If you don’t get to all the short list of goals that week, just bump the leftovers to the following week.

2. Make Your Goals Your First Priority Of the Day

Since one of my words for 2013 is Discipline, I’ve been making a very concerted effort to do the hardest things first. This means, I’m starting the day by tackling some of my least-favorite but most important things first.

Truthfully, this is making a world of difference for me. I realized that I’ve been wasting a lot of time just stalling… I’d add things to tomorrow’s to-do list or file things to do later instead of just doing it now. There’s a time and place for filing and putting things on tomorrow’s to-do list, but I’ve been challenging myself to stop procrastinating on these things and just face ‘em head on and get them done.

Not only am I getting a lot more done, I’m also finding I have a lot more margin time. Because once you stop stalling and start working, it takes a whole lot less time to do things!

3. Take A Day Off Once a Week

If you go-go-go all week long and never take a break, you’re bound to burn yourself out. Give yourself at least one day “off” each week that you don’t worry about work or goals or to-do lists. This is your day to refuel and refresh.

We have Sundays set aside as our day off at our house. We go to church, come home and have a really simple lunch of some sort, and then have a quiet afternoon either resting, reading, talking, playing a game, or engaging in other relaxing activities.

We don’t blog, worry about business stuff or goals, and I often don’t even turn on my phone or computer all day long. It’s a day we look forward to all week long!

If you can’t take a full day off, at least take half a day every week. I promise that you’ll find you’re more productive when you take time to recharge than if you just keep going and never stop to take a breath.

4. Set Fewer Goals

Experiment with lowering the bar a little when it comes to goal-setting. Maybe what you’re getting hung up on is the fact that you’re trying to accomplish too many goals.

It’s better to have fewer goals and follow through with them than to have a lot of goals and just end up overwhelmed by them. Go through your goal list and try culling it down to the most important goals for 4-6 weeks. Just focus on those and see if that makes a difference in your stress level.

5. Give Yourself Grace

You’re pretty much never going to get everything done that you want to in a day’s time. That’s just life! Focus on what you have accomplished instead of beating yourself up over what you didn’t accomplish.

If you end the day feeling like you accomplished nowhere near what you’d hoped, don’t fret. Just transfer the things you didn’t get done to tomorrow’s to-do list (or decide to skip them altogether), go to bed, get some rest, and wake up to a new day tomorrow!

What advice and suggestions do the rest of you have for Laura? I’d love to hear your input!

photo from Big Stock

I’ve been reading your book, 21 Day to a More Disciplined Life, and am loving it! It’s full of great advice for anyone looking to make more of their time. As I’m reading Day 12 I wondered if you had any thoughts about 100% focus vs. multi-tasking.

This chapter focuses on 100% focus, without distractions and I can see how distractions can be death to a goal. On the other hand, as a busy mom, I find that multi-tasking is important and even necessary at times. Do you have any thoughts as to when to multi-task and when to focus? -Rebecca

Great question! I’m a big believer in focused intensity when it comes to comes to many projects.

In fact, I was participating in the BEECH Retreat weekly Thursday night Twitter chat last week when the question came up: “Have you ever sat down to write a blog post & got distracted by social media or email?”

My response? Yes. However, I usually make myself shut down distractions while blogging — otherwise I’ll never get posts written!

If you want to get anything worthwhile done in life, you’ve got to have FOCUS. And I like to take that one step further and make it focused intensity.

What Is Focused Intensity?

Focused Intensity is zeroing in on one specific project and giving it your entire concentration and energy for a determined length of time. I like to set a time limit on it and then challenge myself to see how much I can get done in that timeframe.

For instance, if I’m working on writing a blog post, an article, or a chapter in my next book, I’ll usually shut everything down on my computer, shut my office door, set the timer for 10 or 15 minutes, and work as hard as I can until the timer goes off.

When I work with this kind of focused intensity, I can get a lot done in a short amount of time. Whereas, if I’m all scattered all over the place — trying to write a post while checking and answering emails, keeping up with what’s going on on my Facebook Page, and refreshing my comments page, it will take me a very long time to get any writing done — and I probably won’t do a great job of it.

When Should You Work With Focused Intensity?

Everyone is different, but I’ve found that I cannot write well when there are a dozen distractions going on at once. I also find that I’m not able to think and process ideas and post outlines well if I’m constantly interrupted.

I’ve found it typically takes me three to five times longer to finish a post or writing project when I’m constantly interrupted than it does when I can work with focused intensity. So writing is one area where I always choose times of day when I know I can work with minimal interruptions (during the early morning hours, during afternoon quiet times, or on Saturdays.).

Are There Times When It’s Good to Multi-Task?

There are many, many other things I do that don’t require that same level of focus that writing does. And I’m all about multi-tasking if the end result means greater productivity.

I read while I do my walking warm-up and cool-down on the treadmill. I knit while I’m watching a movie with the family. I scrub my kitchen floor while I talk on the phone. Or, I put bread in the bread machine to mix while I’m chatting with a friend who is over.

There’s no point in just doing one thing, when you can as easily do two things well. I intentionally plan ahead for these opportunities — often even writing them on my daily to-do list. If I know I’m going to be heading to an appointment, I’ll make a note to bring a certain book or writing project, depending upon the appointment. If I know that we’re going to be having a family movie night or I’m having a friend over, I’ll make a note to make sure and get out my knitting or other handwork project.

By planning ahead like this, I’m able to use the time more productively, and in turn, I’m able to chip away at my weekly goal list — all while multi-tasking. So before I know it, projects are getting done without me putting a whole lot of extra effort into them.

That said, make sure when you are multi-tasking that you are actually being more productive. Sometimes, in trying to multi-task, you end up getting less done and just making a mess of multiple things.

What about the rest of you? Do you find that there are certain things you have to focus on without interruption to be productive? What are your favorite ways to multi-task that truly work?

 photo credit

Any tips on freezing milk in a paper carton? We buy organic milk in a half gallon paper carton. Can I freeze it in that carton or not? I’ve never done it before. Thanks! –Leisha

I freeze milk all the time. And honestly? I’ve never had a problem freezing it in a cardboard container. It will expand some when it freezes, so you might want to drink or use a half cup or so before freezing. But otherwise, just stick the milk in the freezer in the paper carton.

When you’re ready to use it, you can thaw it in the refrigerator overnight. Or, you can stick the carton in a sink full of cold water for 15 or 20 minutes.

I’m often able to find organic milk on clearance that’s close to the expiration date. We use what we can until the expiration date and then I freeze the rest. By buying it on clearance, we’re able to buy higher quality milk without spending a fortune to do so.

I don’t recommended using frozen and then thawed milk for drinking. The consistency changes some and it just isn’t very appealing for drinking–at least our family doesn’t think so. However, milk that has been frozen and then thawed works beautifully in pancakes, waffles, french toast, or other baked goods.

Chocolate Chip Pancake Batter

If you typically bake big batches of these items, you can just freeze the milk in the paper or plastic carton, thaw, and use. However, if you only make smaller batches, you’ll want to go ahead and divvy the milk up in one-cup or two-cup portions before freezing so that you can just pull out the exact amount of milk you need. You could use ziptop freezer bags or airtight plastic containers with lids.

Want to stretch your milk even further? Replace a fourth or a half of the milk called for in your pancake, waffle, or baked good recipe with water. You probably won’t even notice a difference!

Do you freeze milk? If so, what’s your favorite way to use it?