Why We’ve Got to Stop Comparing Ourselves to Kate Middleton

Why We've Got to Stop Comparing Ourselves to Kate Middleton

You there. Sitting in your yoga pants with the mom hair look. I have something I want to whisper in your ear today.

You may have seen the Royal Baby Announcements and festivities unfold.

You may have seen the pictures of Duchess Kate headed home from the hospital looking stunningly gorgeous just 12 hours after giving birth.

And you might be feeling just a little bit like you don’t measure up.

Like you’re a loser mom.

Like you’re dropping balls all over the place.

Like you need to lose 10 pounds, find a better makeup routine, figure out a better hairstyle, buy a new wardrobe…

You may be overwhelmed by your to-do list. You may be frustrated that you can’t get your act together more. That you can’t have a cleaner house. That you aren’t more organized. That you ate that extra cookie last night. That you got irritated at your child, yet again, this morning.

Why We Need to Stop Comparing Ourselves to Kate Middleton

Here’s the thing: Kate Middleton is beautiful. She’s amazing. She’s graciously handled all sorts of pressure and scrutiny. She’s the epitome of poise. And I’ve never seen her look anything but stunning.

So the pictures of her looking incredible just hours after giving birth didn’t surprise me. And for a split second, I started to wonder what my problem was that I looked like I’d been run over by a train for at least a few days after giving birth to my kids.

Well, and that some days — even years after giving birth — I look like I’ve been run over by a train. {Here’s some picture proof, if you missed my post yesterday.}

But then I quickly reminded myself: Kate has a whole team of people who help her get ready for big photo-ops like this. If you and I had a hairstylist, a makeup artist, and a dress designer get us ready for something like this, we’d probably look amazing, too!

That’s why we can’t compare ourselves to Kate. Our reality is completely different than her reality.

Comparison is the thief of joy. Always.

So I want to whisper this in your ear today, moms: You are enough.

You don’t need to be thinner or more organized or more fit or have a nicer wardrobe or get a better handle on your finances or find a new makeup routine or get your hair styled differently in order to finally be enough.

Yes, it’s fantastic if you want to work on areas in your life that you could improve in — we all have those areas where we struggle or are weak in (ahem, like me and my laundry issues). But remember that your struggles don’t have to define you. Your failings do not make you a failure.

You are enough… exactly as you are.

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P.S. Oh and I thought you might like to see this photo I found of my tired and swollen self at 40 weeks pregnant with Silas. It’s a far cry from gorgeous pregnant Kate — and that’s okay! :)

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How We Do Birthdays

birthdays

Guest post from Sally of SallyLynnHall.com

Some years birthdays are big ol’ parties around our house — homemade elaborate cakes, lots of guests, games, activities, homemade decorations, and oh the food!

Mostly these are the milestone birthdays — 1, 5, 10 and so on — with a few random shindigs thrown in here and there. We’ve had dinosaur hunts, Elmo themed parties (three, to be exact), video gaming parties, picnic/old school kid games parties, and we’ll probably have countless more themes over the years.

However, the majority of the time we don’t. In fact, my kids have only had two big parties each. That does not mean we don’t celebrate — quite the contrary, actually. We just do it differently: we do it a bit more intimately during the “in between” birthdays.

Of course, I do not think blowout birthdays every year are wrong at all. We just choose not to celebrate that way (with multiple kids it’s hard on our wallet and sanity). Plus, we’ve discovered that simple does not necessarily mean less, it can actually mean so much more!

Let me explain. 

Recently, my middle kiddo turned seven. It wasn’t a “milestone” birthday, but every birthday is special and we wanted him to feel that.

We started the festivities with a tradition from my childhood: three days of birthday. For three days — the day before his birthday, the day of, and the day after — he got to choose what we made for dinner, what TV show we watched at night, and usually, various family members would surprise him by doing one or two of his chores for him.

During one of those days we went to Cracker Barrel for our traditional “breakfast with the family”, followed by the birthday boy being able to pick one small toy in the shop for his present. (My husband started this tradition a few years back and it has quickly become a favorite. Even the adults take part on their birthdays! Whatever family members that are off work and are in town usually tag along to these annual breakfasts if they can, but there’s no pressure and it’s just as fun with only our clan.)

There are other little things that sometimes happen as well — we might bake or buy treats to take to our homeschool co-op, or an aunt or grandma might take the birthday kid out for ice cream or some other special outing.

But my favorite thing we do?

A very special bedtime story the night of their birthday. We sit down with pictures and scrapbooks of the kiddo we’re celebrating and while we look through years of firsts — baths, trips, foods, parties, Christmases and haircuts — we talk about the day they were born.

We tell the funny moments, the sweet moments, who was there, what was said and on and on. You would think they would get tired of this, but from the two-year-old to the ten-year-old, they soak it up. They could probably tell their birth stories for me. Well, not the toddler… not yet. And even though they know the answers already, each year it’s the same questions:

“And what did I say to the nurse who said that baby is so cute?”

“You said ‘That’s my new baby brother – go away!’

And they laugh and laugh like it’s the first time they’ve heard it. And me? I bask in those first few moments of their lives with the blissfulness that comes years after the exhaustion of labor. I get to relive the good stuff.

So parents who can’t go big or even medium for each birthday, take heart. It can still be special and your child can feel just as spoiled. Maybe not with fanfare and presents, but instead, with cherished memories and special moments just for them that say, “I’m so glad you were born!”

How do you “do” birthdays?

Sally Hall is a part-time freelance writer, full-time wife, mom, and homeschooler, and a foodie at heart living in Texas. She has written for a series of women’s travel books, homeschooling publications, webzines, international ministries, and is currently finishing her own book! Follow her random musings over on her blog.

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MySurvey.com: Earn money taking online surveys

MySurvey

MySurvey is a survey company I’ve used and earned money from. You can redeem your points earned for cash or prizes and every 1000 points equals $10. Go here to sign up.

Did you know you can make a nice little side stream of income by taking online surveys? I’ve used some of the sites listed here and it really worked!

(Note: The links in this post are affiliate links. Read our disclosure policy here.)
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Free audiobook: The Advocate by Randy Singer

Free audiobook by Randy Singer

During the month of May, Christian Audiobook is offering a free download of The Advocate by Randy Singer. I’ve read some of Randy’s other books and enjoyed them so I was excited to download this!

I’m not a huge audiobook fan and I don’t usually ever download fiction audiobooks, but I thought it’d be fun to try something different to see what I thought. It might be a fun way to pass the time while washing dishes, folding laundry, and cleaning the bathroom!

Thanks, Moms By Heart!

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