Hi Crystal! I am new to your blog. I was wondering if you could explain how you handle homeschooling with all of your other responsibilities? I own my own business in addition to homeschooling, so I was hoping you could give me some tips on how you juggle it all. I feel like I’m drowning sometimes and just mediocre at everything, but not really excelling at my job or homeschooling. Thanks! -Sara
Hi, Sara!
This is one of the questions I am asked most often! I think people somehow think I’ve discovered some secret to “doing it all”! 🙂 Yes, I do juggle multiple balls, but I can I assure you I don’t have it all figured out.
I’m not superwoman. I struggle. I sometimes feel frazzled and frustrated. And I often drop balls on accident. So please keep this in mind.
Superwoman doesn’t have any clones — or at least none whom I’ve ever met before. 🙂 We’re all learning, growing, and making mistakes in life. All of us have strengths and weaknesses and none of us have uncovered the magic pill for perfect execution of life.
Over time, I have discovered different tricks and tactics that help me be able to juggle more and have more of a healthy balance and I’ll happily share them with you in hopes that might inspire you. But remember that I’m often a hot mess and if you dropped by our home unexpectedly (or even expectedly!) on some days, you’d know this is definitely the truth!
1. I Try to Be Organized
Try is the key word here, because I am definitely not perfect with this. I’m not always as organized as I’d like to be, but I try really hard to keep everything in order to the best of my ability.
I’ve found that if you never let things get completely out of control, it makes such a difference in your ability to juggle multiple balls and wear multiple hats — without feeling completely overwhelmed.
A few specific strategies that help me:
- I use Google Calendar to brain dump and schedule tasks.
- I use time blocks to organize my to-do list each day.
- I aim to clean out my email inbox every single day.
- I also try to stay on top of clutter.
Setting up boundaries for different areas and responsibilities in my life helps me compartmentalize and stay focused. When I am focusing on one area, I want to be all there — not distracted in 10 different directions.
If I am working on business, I try to close down all other outside distractions so I can focus 100%. If I am spending time with my family or homeschooling, I leave the computer and phone in another room so that I can be 100% present.
In addition, I’ve found that clutter not only clutters my home, but also my life and my mind. Being really ruthless about getting rid of clutter helps me be more organized. We have systems for how we keep our house clean on a daily basis so that it rarely gets out of control and usually stays 15-45 Minutes to Company Ready.
These are just a few of the many ways I try to maintain an organized life and business. This organization allows me to be efficient and productive, stay on task, and knock out huge chunks of my to-do list each day.
2. I Say No a Lot
Almost every single day, I say no to an endorsement request, a speaking gig, a special project, an invite to be on a podcast, or some other opportunity.
I have to say no constantly. Not because I want to, but because I know that I can’t do it all. As a result, I have to be very careful about what I say yes to that is outside of my normal responsibilities.
A few examples:
I say no to many extracurricular stuff. For example, we’re not in a homeschool co-op. Right now, our children are each in one activity (Kathrynne is on swim team, Kaitlynn does ice skating, and Silas does baseball), and that’s what we set the limits at so that our family doesn’t have too many obligations each week.
I don’t have very many regular weekly commitments. Right now, I’m in a six-week Bible study, we have our Monday Group, and we are involved in a community group at church. Aside from those commitments and our kids’ activities, I know we don’t have any room in our schedule right not to add new regular weekly commitments. Not because we wouldn’t love to, but because we know we need white space in our schedule or we’ll start feeling harried and hurried.
I also say no to busyness. I am very intentional about carving out time each week for rest, because I know that it’s something I need. For example, I don’t blog on Sundays. I pre-schedule stuff on social media, but I’m usually not on email or my blog at all on Sundays. Sunday is my day to recharge and I carefully guard it. I sometimes even turn my phone off all day long just so that I can really unplug. As an introvert, I have to take time to recharge. I have to make time for rest. Otherwise, if I try to keep going and going and going, I will burn out.
When I say yes to one thing, that means I’m saying no to something else. I want to make sure every yes is carefully considered and fits into our priorities as a family.
3. I Have Help
This is really important and I want to be completely honest about the fact that, at this season of my life, I have a lot of help.
Because I’m a work-at-home mom, I have had to come to terms with the fact that I will not be able to do everything. Homeschooling, my marriage, time with family and friends, and rest are priorities in my life. In order for those to be a priority for me, I’ve had to delegate other things — without guilt.
There are many, many areas I have help in:
- My husband is amazing. I always say that I am not superwoman, but I am married to superman. 🙂 He wasn’t this way when we got married, and he will really admit that as well. It’s been incredible to see how God has changed his heart and my heart in this regard. He does half of the homeschooling — math, science, and language arts. He loves cooking and planning healthy menus and trying new recipes, so he does almost all of the menu-planning, grocery shopping, and cooking for our family right now. He also takes care of all of our bill paying and anything to do with the finances. We sit down and discuss it together and we are on the same page with our goal planning and budgeting, but he’s the one who carries it out.
- We go out to eat once per week. We budget for this, and we love that it gives us a break as a family together once each week.
- My kids are a huge help. They help with laundry, cooking, some business stuff, and cleaning/picking up.
- We have cleaners that come once a week. This was hard for me at first. It seemed so extravagant and ridiculous, but I quickly realized that they were saving me at least 5 hours a week and the time I was “buying back” was so worth the money we paid each week. They dust the house, deep clean the floors, and clean all of the bathrooms, among other things. I’ve also found that it motivates me to keep my house more orderly and picked up for when they arrive on their cleaning day. {Yes, we clean up the house for the cleaners to come!!}
- I have a great team of people who help me with my business. There is NO way I could run this business without a great team of people. We are focusing as much as possible on getting me to a place where I am the community engager and content creator — writing posts, doing periscopes, responding to comments, etc. We’re not quite there yet, and I’m still involved in many more details than I need to be, but we’re slowly working toward that!
It’s not always easy juggling everything, and I have to give myself grace on those hard days. I can’t do it all! Instead, I want to focus on doing what I can do and not stressing about what I can’t do.
So bottom line is this: my best advice is to determine your few priorities worth focusing on, delegate or say no to everything else you possibly can, remember not to shoot for unattainable perfection, and give yourself grace.
For those of you who are juggling multiple responsibilities in life, what other advice and suggestions do you have for Sara? I’d love to hear!
Chrissy says
Hi Crystal,
Do you still homeschool? Curious how things have changed in a year as far as your routine and growing children.
Megan says
Great post! Thank you!
Rachel says
Hi Crystal,
I just recently discovered you through Michael Hyatt’s Influence and Impact Summit. I can’t believe I didn’t know about you or any of the other people on that summit sooner! Heck, I didn’t even know about Michael Hyatt. I just clicked on a link from fb and then ended up listening to most of the interviews. Anyway, so glad I found you. You are doing great work, and delivering amazing content daily through your blog, periscope, email etc. I bought just about all your products, and pre-ordered your book too.
Anyway, I just wanted to weigh in with my best time management tip of all. My best tip is to realize that your life is not your own. I believe I am here to love and serve God, and whatever that looks like on any given day is exactly what I aim to do. Although I have a business in real estate investing and property management, unless I am actively rehabbing a property, that is a very small sideline in my life. Our primary income comes from my husband’s very busy and demanding executive job. It is very important for me play a support role for him so he can do everything he needs to do to support our family without having a nervous breakdown, haha!
As a mother of 6, now with 3 married, I have kids in all ages and stages of life. Sometimes it is all I can do to make breakfast, lunch and dinner, keep up with the laundry, and get them to appointments and do my errands. Right now success for me looks like seeing 2 of my daughters graduate from college, one at the age of 19, and the other at 21 after just having a baby. Success also looks like getting a teenager through some rough times in jr. high, and seeing my youngest daughter blossom into an amazing young woman who is so loving and kind to others.
I once heard Mitt Romney say that while business and personal success can come and go, you can always be a complete success at being a good person. You can be completely honest, you can serve others, you can love people and be patient, kind etc. (Paraphrasing, but that was the gist of it.) I love that idea, and it is true that we can always be a success as a person regardless of external factors.
What a wonderful community you have here with such caring people. God bless you to be able to continue with all the wonderful things you are doing.
Crystal Paine says
Aw, thank you SO much for your kind encouragement, Rachel! Your words blessed me so much!
Rebecca says
If this wasn’t already mentioned, menu-planning is a huge sanity-saver for me. Just listing all the possible meals is a big step ahead so the thinking is done, but listing out the breakfast, lunch and dinner plans for the week really feels like someone is helping me.
It’s important because when kids come to me hungry and ask what they can eat, it stresses me out to have no answer, and I can get irritable about it.
I love to just glance at the plan and say, “eggs and toast.”
I write up the plan during a quiet moment Sunday evening. Then tweaking the to-do list is a natural next step if there’s time.
Also, certain days are fixed, for example, Friday is pizza night, Wednesday is Mexican, etc., so, even less figuring out to do.
I don’t have a job or a business but I have seven children from 14 to 4 months and we homeschool while Daddy works long hours 6 days a week.
My kids have household responsibilities and outdoor chores so they are a vital part of keeping our lives in order.
Also, I try to remember to use all of my “conveniences” and “time-savers” such as appliances as my paid help and make them earn their keep.
That said, I still have have days like the dear lady described above and I am terrible about clutter and pack-ratting, but we’re always growing ?.
Thanks for this great post!
Sara says
I saw the replay of the scope where you answered my question and was so blessed! Today in the weekly email from you I saw the link to where you answered my question here as well!! Thank you!! Your article and the comments made me feel so special…and not alone. ♡♡♡ Sara
Crystal Paine says
I’m SO grateful that it made you feel special and not alone. That makes me so happy! And thanks for asking such a great question! {Hugs!}
Jeanette says
I also homeschool while running my own business (and now updating this homeschool events website as well). What has been really helpful for me is not wasting time on all the little ‘time sucks’ as my daughter calls them. I close down my email program as I’m working so I can focus on the task at hand. Prior to that, each new email that came in got my attention and I found the original task ended up taking much more than it should have. I also have STOPPED checking out social media all day long. I put a time and time limit on it so I can stay focused. Little changes really have made a difference in my overall day!
Crystal Paine says
Such good advice here! Thanks so much for sharing!
Aileen (Aileen Cooks Blog) says
Thank you for sharing Crystal! I have two little kids (3 and 1) and we go to the gym 2-3 times per week, participate in play group 1-2 times per week and host play group at our house 1 time per month. My 3 year old also has t-ball 1 time per week. Now that I’ve started blogging, it has been difficult to balance it all. It’s nice to hear from someone who has been juggling longer than I have. I think I need to practice saying no more often.
Crystal Paine says
You’re so welcome!
Kariane @ EverydayMindfulLiving says
This is great advice, as no one can do it all. For every yes there is a no. We each have to decide our own priorities and act accordingly. This is both difficult and extremely liberating (depending on the moment!), but coming back to my most important goals really helps my decision making.
Crystal Paine says
“For every yes there is a no. We each have to decide our own priorities and act accordingly.”
Such wise advice!
Lynn says
Thanks for being honest and up front about the help you have, both from your husband and paid staff. When someone doesn’t know that, they can feel inadequate and wonder how in the world the can’t get as much done as you do (or they think you do). Having a spouse who does the bulk of the dinner prep plus one night out a week is something many women do not have, let alone house cleaners. I don’t begrudge you that one bit, I just thank you for being honest about it!
Crystal Paine says
You’re so welcome! It’s really important for me to let people know that I don’t do it all — there’s no way I could, unless I literally was working 90 hours per week!!
Meg Herriot says
Like Leigh said, I would love to hear more about your daily system. Thanks for sharing this post!
Crystal Paine says
See my reply to hear for more details! 🙂
Bethany says
Thank you so much for sharing this! I, like so many other commenters, am also a business owner and I homeschool our 3 kids (one with special needs). Plus my husband works his normal career job and he runs a small business on the side. Some days I wonder if we’re sane. ?I’m bent toward perfectionism and have really had to just relax and be ok with not doing everything 100% all the time and that being okay. But our house is always the first thing that starts to slide and it magnifies the crazy! ? Just today I was thinking it might be time to hire some cleaning help (which I’ve been thinking for years but feel guilty doing) but your post, and other commenters, help me to see that it might be the wisest investment in this season of life.
Crystal Paine says
Yay! That makes me SO happy! The hours it buys me to spend on other more important things makes SUCH a difference in how our home runs.
Chelsea says
This is such a tiny, miniscule sidenote, but as someone who used to clean houses, I can attest that it is so helpful when the family picks up beforehand! I only had so much time allotted to clean a home and I really wanted that to be deep cleaning. If I had to move clutter back and forth to do that, I had less time to do the other things!
Crystal Paine says
That makes me so glad to hear!
Leigh says
You mentioned your family has a daily maintenance system with keeping the house from getting too out of control….can you share more on that system? I feel like I am drowning in house cleaning and household needs and to catch up I have to sacrifice time with my family and friends. I would LOVE to hear about this system you have please!
Crystal Paine says
It’s nothing too detailed, but basically this:
Jesse and I are in charge of keeping the kitchen and our room and bathroom decluttered, organized, and clean and putting away our laundry.
The kids are in charge of keeping their room and bathroom decluttered, organized, and clean, doing all their laundry, washing/drying/folding our laundry, and emptying trashes.
And then we all work together to keep the main living areas of the house picked up and clean.
Lauren @ i am THAT Lady says
Crystal, I love this post! I agree 100% with everything you said. My husband and I work full time on our website as well. We have a housecleaner come twice a month, and also have a part time nanny. He does most of the cooking, I do the grocery shopping and meal planning. We don’t work on Saturdays or Sundays, and we say no to a LOT. We get to plan our lives around what we want to do, and we love spending time at home with our 4 kids. We also love spending time with our extended family, which all live close to us.
The kids are only allowed to do 1 activity at a time, and we don’t do much else. I appreciate how open and honest you are. When you do the kind of work that we do, you have to say no and you have to ask for help.
Crystal Paine says
I love how you’ve created a lifestyle that works so well for your family! Way to go!
Kelly Cox says
I have to let some things go some days. It’s hard for me but I often remember that I want to work heartily unto the Lord first. I have to keep myself in check.
Other than that, I keep a To Do List (that’s reasonable), pray, work as a team with my husband and try to keep a positive outlook. We must choose joy and it really is a choice!
Loved your tips and agree that when your husband is helpful – it’s a blessing! I’m amazed by mine. 🙂
Crystal Paine says
Such great advice! Thanks so much for sharing!
Federica says
Great post!
I hear you on the cleaning help! I struggled with that idea as well for many years! I always cleaned on my own, but my life changed so much (a family, more work responsibilities, traveling on a regular basis) that it came to a point where I was spending the only two Saturdays a month that I have at home deep cleaning.
Yes, we still pick up after ourselves, but now I could not imagine doing without our awesome cleaning help! That way, I can spend my Saturdays pampering my family with special, gourmet cooking (which I LOVE), enjoying one of the many (free) museums in our capital, or simply taking a stroll or a hike.
As you said, sometimes we should just realize that we could use the help 🙂
Crystal Paine says
I love this! Thanks for sharing your perspective!
Federica says
Thank YOU for being such an inspiration! I have been a huge fan since I was a starving foreign grad school student on a bean&rice budget in an expensive part of the country (California). Thank God I come from a family of savers with that ingrained mindset, but savings/spending dynamics and money challenges can be very different in different countries (also in different cities within the same country), so following your blog throughout the years has helped me to stay afloat, save, and spend responsibly in the USA.
Thanks for introducing freezer cooking, CVS, and responsible budgeting into my life! I look forward to reading your blog for many more years to come, and I recommend it to all my friends – from the SAHMs to the single career women, and everything in between.
May God richly bless you and your family!
Crystal Paine says
I’m so grateful! Thank you so much for your kind encouragement!
American Dreamer says
I understand how Sara feels. I have been there as I am sure everyone has at one time or another. I finally after decades realized that I couldn’t reach “perfection”. So I did the best I could with raising my children and all of the house hold chores. If the cleaning didn’t get done one day because the kids needed me, they came first. I picked up the house and their toys once at night.
If someone stopped in and there were toys everywhere and cleaning was half done, I didn’t care and they didn’t either.
I did hire help to do the cleaning when my children were infants and again when they were in private high school and I was working and it was worth it to take some of the stress out of my life.
No one is ever perfect. You can keep reaching but you will never get there.
Also always make some time for yourself. That is important.
Crystal Paine says
Such great advice here! Thanks for sharing!
Angela Emmons says
This was so encouraging! I too am a working stay at home mom and I homeschool my 4 children. Oh did I forget to mention, I’m a single mom as well. It’s great to see I’m not alone and I haven’t lost all my marbles! Lol. At any rate, I’ve had to say no to a lot of things, some have been good ideas, but outside of the realm of what I do each day and what the Lord wants me to do. I just try to focus on what’s most important and “Do the next thing” instead of trying to do everything. Thanks Crystal!
Crystal Paine says
“I just try to focus on what’s most important and ‘Do the next thing’ instead of trying to do everything.”
I love this! Such wise advice!
Leslie Van Zee says
Thank you for this post. I am getting close to having my second child, and sometimes think it would be great to stay home with them and work for myself, but I can’t imagine being able to carve out the time from childcare to be able to focus on work. It’s great to get to see a picture of how things can go well.
Crystal Paine says
You’re so welcome! I’m glad it was helpful to read!