Dear Kathrynne,
You don’t often show up in pictures or stories on this blog because when I ask for your permission to post things about you, you usually ask that I don’t share them. And that is completely okay. I respect that and want to honor you in that regard.
However, I am so thankful that you gave me permission to write this post. Because it’s something I’ve wanted to share for a long time.
Thank you for how you constantly challenge me to be myself. To not worry about what other people think. To let my personality on the inside shine out on the outside.
As your mom, I couldn’t be prouder of you. Maybe our tastes in clothing are completely different. Maybe there are moments when I wish that you cared just a little bit more about what you wear. But then I realize, that’s my pride — and that’s me caring more about what other people think than about letting you be who God created you to be.
I’m so glad that you care so much more about people’s hearts and about reaching out and helping people than you do about what people think about you. I’m so glad that you are confident in your own unique style and personality. I love how you rock those gym shorts, t-shirts, and tennis shoes like nobody’s business.
I am so inspired by your desire to attract friends who really care about you as a person and who want to love you for who you really are than about trying to change who you are in order to have other people like you.
Thank you for how you continually encourage me to be true to who I am. To blog authentically. To live authentically.
Thank you for how you challenge me to stop caring what other people think and to be all that God has created me to be. Your courage and confidence as a person has motivated me to “come out of my shell” little bit by little bit.
You’ve challenged me to post more of the real-life stuff. To let people into our home and life — even when it’s messy and chaotic. To be okay that who I really am is not necessarily going to be exactly who people want me to be — but it’s going to be true and true is always better than fake.
I’ve seen you step outside of your comfort zone in big ways this past year. You’ve joined the swim team, you’ve poured hours and hours into swim practice, you’ve worked hard to improve your strokes, and you’ve faced your fear of competing in front of large crowds.
Other people had no idea that you were sick to your stomach about having to step up on those starting blocks and dive into the water, but I knew. And my heart wanted to burst when I saw you hold your head up high, dive in, and attack the water.
Moving away from your home and relatives and friends was very hard for you. But you bravely faced many new things — a new neighborhood, new church, new routines, new friends, and a new lifestyle.
You’ve experienced loneliness. We’ve cried together over what we left behind. And then you’ve dried your tears, punched fear in the face, and met new family after new family and went into new situation after new situation.
It hasn’t been a smooth ride for you, nor us. But you’ve trusted God through it, talked openly with us about your fears and hurts and sadness, and pressed forward — embracing the newness and choosing to live fully right where you are.
Thank you for how you love well, care deeply, and give generously. I couldn’t be more proud to be your mom.
You are one-of-a-kind and God has some great adventures for you in your future. Keep charging ahead with brave resolve, contagious courage, and unshakeable confidence.
I love you, sweet girl. You’ve forever changed my life.
Love,
Your Grateful Mom
Maria says
Blessings to you and yours. Thank you for reminding us all how to love unconditionally like Christ loves us with Agape love. May God’s amazing grace continue to shine upon you and your sweet family.
Lisa says
Powerful share! My older daughter adopted “Mother’s Month” and has filled as well as grown my mommy tank. We’re so fortunate to have kids that we can thank for “loving well, caring deeply, and giving generously.” She’s watching you…
Because it’s still May, my daughter’s daily facebook posts are happening for 2 more days. Today she wrote: May 29: Thank you for showing me what being His hands and feet here on earth means…for living His word…doing His work…
I don’t recall you ever teaching me to pray, be obedient or live in a Christ-like manner…
…but, I do know how to open the front door, feed the neighborhood kids, create a place for someone to sleep, take a moment to listen to someone’s story, pray intentionally for people, open my bible, put others first, give thanks, feed people in need, invite the broken in, pour out love…unconditional love, drive the woman in trouble home, welcome the friend who betrayed you in…with open arms and full forgiveness, be a quiet servant, be a voice for someone, hold hope when someone can’t, say I’m sorry…I know how to love well…
Sound familiar? It should. That’s you mama…and it’s me because this is how you’ve taught me to live.
Tam Hodge says
Don’t mind me – I’m just sitting over here weeping.
Good glory, girl… This is beautiful.
I love watching you “mommy”. I love seeing your kiddos dote on you. The way y’all interact is so refreshing. You and Jesse parent well.
Dona says
Beautiful article about a beautiful young lady and her beautiful young mom! I love reading your articles…I love your transparency…and I love you and your sweet family. Your daughter seems a lot like her mom! 😉
kim says
What a lovely tribute to your daughter. I too have a Kathryn who sounds so similar to your daughter, she has taught me so much about grace, forgiveness, loving others and being who God has made me to be – not someone who needs to change to please others. Enjoy your beautiful daughter and all that God has made her to be.
Nicole says
This is a truly beautiful post and tribute to your daughter. I cried all the way through it! I often ask myself why God gave me the children He did. By that, I mean, what are they meant to teach me and how am I meant to grow closer to the person God intends for me to be. So often people talk about what we need to teach our children, but the question we should ask is what are we meant to learn from them? How are we meant to grow because of them? As a parent and former teacher, I know that children teach us so much more than we can teach them about life and ourselves; about the simplicity and joy that life is meant to be. Good job, Mama!
Trisha Martinez says
Our children are such sanctifying relationships! Praise God for their refining presence in our lives and for the privilege of guiding theirs! Crystal, thanks again for sharing something so personal and encouraging us as moms and parents, too! ❤️
Tina says
I love this post. It’s amazing the things our children can help us to see about ourselves, the good, bad, ugly, strengths, weaknesses, etc. I love how you keep your posts real and honest so your readers can relate and experience the emotions you are feeling as you write your articles. I am so happy she allowed you to share the love and pride you have for her. Thank you both.
Marianne Hardy says
I am a loooong time reader. I rarely comment. I loved this post. Bravo Mom!
Crystal Paine says
Thank you so much for your kind encouragement!
Eryn Lynum says
Beautiful post. Thank you for sharing. It’s incredible what our children can teach us.
stacy says
Soooo sweet – LOVE! Is that Chipotle in Franklin TN. I swear I’ve eaten there a million times. 🙂
Rachael says
I’ve been on vacation so late in getting to this post. It brought tears to my eyes given I have a 9 yr old boy who has always marched to the sound of his own drum. I used to get embarrassed or try and get him to “confirm” a bit- his pediatrician encouraged me to allow him whenever not dangerous, to let him be to go his own way- there isn’t enough “freedom” in most settings these days that it stifles creativity and brain growth in her opinion. I sometimes still have to remind my self- it is about me and not him as he skips and sings to himself versus caring what others think (he’s favorite color is also pink!). Thanks for reminding us to look for special and embrace children for who they are. Best, Rachael
Glori says
I always saw their pictures and wondered why the two girls were dressed so differently. Now I understand, and I shed a few tears. I have always been different, in every respect, and never felt understood. It was painful, but I also was very brave, and managed to always be myself. You suffer the most when you try to please others, instead of pleasing GOD by being who He made you to be. Thanks for posting this.
Christine says
This post is so sweet and heartfelt. Looks like you’ve got an amazing daughter who takes after her amazing mom 🙂
Jen says
This is so sweet! I can relate to your daughter… I didn’t dress like a girly girl unless I had a special occasion when I had to. I was the quiet one that didn’t like the attention despite everyone in school trying to make me into an extrovert.
I ended up doing ministry full time. Everyone is different which like you said is what God created them to be.
Parent support is so important which she clearly has so she is a great young woman who is doing great things and will do great things in the future!
Emily says
Love this. I’m reminded of the scene in Divine Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood (my second favorite movie after It’s A Wonderful Life) when the mom is telling her daughter after years of praying for God to make her more, make her famous, make her good. She found everything she’d hoped for in her daughter.
I never knew I’d feel this way, but my daughter absolutely amazes me and is everything I’ve ever wanted. I love my children so equally, but they’re unique and special in different ways. I love that so much.
Alex Guglielmo says
This was such a sweet message to your daughter. Thank you for sharing it with the rest of us as a challenge to be who we are without regard for what the world tells us to be. Man looks on the outside, but God looks at the heart…
Jamie says
I love this post! My 10-year-old daughter also inspires me to live authentically…she also makes me laugh daily. 🙂 Love the spirit of your girl.
Tara says
Kathrynne – Thanks you so much for allowing your mom to share this with us. It really touched my heart and brought back so many sweet memories for me. I am truly grateful for that.
Crystal – What a great post! One of my favorites without a doubt. Maybe because I can so identify with it. My youngest was in athletic shorts, t-shirts and a pony tail forever. I used to wish she’d want to “fix up” a bit more. She is now 15 and usually is “fixed up”. That said, today she is in compression pants, a t-shirt and converse! I’m so thankful that in this “look-and-act-a-certain-way-to-be-accepted” world, she is secure enough to be true to herself.
Hajra says
Absolutely beautiful. I cried reading this, filling with joy n pride for you as a mother, and also for myself…..so much resonated with me. Kids teach us so much about life, what truly matters and give us the courage to do the things we are afraid to. You have an amazing daughter here. May God continue to strengthen her to be herself, may she stay giving and kind. We need more people like her in this world. May her courage only grow and stay with her through all her life. Lots of hugs Kathrynne, you ROCK 🙂
Jaime says
That was precious.
Jodi Epps says
Wow. Just wow. Made me cry. So, so beautiful. If only all mothers could accept their daughters like this.
J L says
I just love that you ask her permission before posting about her (or sharing pictures). Mutual respect is such a necessary thing in parenting. Good job, Crystal!
Heather C says
What an amazing love letter! Thank you for sharing
lizzy says
love how we get to really see Kathrynne’s heart through this post! I see a humble heart whose confidence is in Christ–the very thing I most pray for my kids. Beautiful!
Nichole says
One of your readers mentioned about her mother not understanding her personality until grown and gone. Do you have any insight into understanding your childrens personality?
Alissa says
This is so incredibly sweet! And how brave of her to let you write a post about her when it’s obviously not her favorite thing! Motherhood is so sanctifying. How blessed you are to have such a great bond with your children. I’m sure it’s hard to post transparent things, but they truly are the best because that’s really where we all live…….in reality! Let’s keep cheering for eachother, Mommas!!
Katie says
Love this! Raising kids who know what it is to be brave is crazy important to me.
These lessons, even when they feel tough, will serve your daughter well in years to come. You’re doing a great job raising brave kiddos, Mama! And ones who know where true strength is found as well. Blessings to you on the journey!
Jennifer Kaiser says
You made me cry. Such sweet words to a wonderful girl.
Jamie says
I think I like Kathrynne.
Stephanie Fricke says
What a beautiful love letter to your daughter! She will cherish it one day. This makes my heart happy. Thank you!
Susan says
Thank you for sharing….brought tears and a since of what really matters….your an amazing young lady thanks for letting your mom share…..your perfect as you because GOD made you to be you and only you…hope to hear more and keep being you your wonderful.
Courtney says
I have to chime in and agree that this is the best post you’ve ever written. Beautiful!
Jennifer says
I’m crying. And I’m so thankful and happy for Kathrynne that you understand and accept who she is.
I love my mother terribly. But she didn’t really understand who I was as a person until I had grown up and left the house and she’d read a book about different personality types. She called me crying one day to apologize for all the yelling she’d done when she’d get frustrated. She realized after reading this book that when she got frustrated, it was really over me just being me.
You rock mama!
Lori says
Would you mind sharing the name of the book your mom read? I think I would benefit from it.
Thank you.
Kristen says
This is a beautiful post, Crystal. I could have written this to my oldest, so I can empathize to the way she challenges you. I often regret “suggestions” I make to my daughter to conform to the way I think she should be and am training myself to hold my tongue as she is beautiful just the way God made her!
Mridu says
I loved reading this! thank you for sharing!
Lana says
You are blessed! How do I know? I have one just like her!
Kristin says
I think this is my favorite post you have ever written. Please thank Kathrynne for allowing you to share. Motherhood is so exhausting, humbling and glorious all rolled into one. 🙂
Karen S says
I love this. Our kids do teach us, taking the time to listen to their hearts is such a blessing. You be you!
Lori says
Love this so much!
Jean in Calif. says
What a great story of love and courage I am glad she allowed you to share with us. Sometimes it’s the little ones that can teach us the most.
cat says
what a blessing…
Jessi says
Thank you, Crystal, for posting this. I have a child that is teaching me much and is so different from me. Often I find it difficult to love and relate to this one, and this post motivates me to try to see the world through their eyes and thank God for our differences. Mothering is so very sanctifying!
Wifeye says
Beautiful!
Carol@simple_catholic says
This brought tears to my eyes! So beautiful.
Lori L. says
What a sweet post, my favorite one yet! Go Kathrynne!
Jaime @BloomWhereHePlantsYou.com says
What a beautifully sweet love letter you have written to your daughter Crystal! Thank you (and Kathrynne!) for sharing it!
Betsy Herman says
This is beautiful!
Kim says
Thank you for sharing your beautiful daughter with us! What a special young lady…good job mom!
kariane says
So beautiful! And what a lovely gift from you, Crystal, to love her exactly as she is, and to give her confidence that she is beautiful and absolutely enough no matter what other people think. It’s a gift I hope we can all give to all of our children: just be yourself, you’re lovely just as you are.
Sarah @The Teacher's Wife says
Oh man, this is a tear jerker! I was so wrong about motherhood – thinking I would be the one to teach my children life lessons when more often than not, I’m the one learning from them! It’s so humbling to be a parent, isn’t it? Thanks for sharing about your sweet girl and how she is teaching you!
Siné says
Thank you to Kathrynne for allowing your mom to post this. Crystal, I am in tears. Thank you for allowing your sweet girl to be herself.
Angie says
Thank you for writing this and thank you to your daughter for allowing it to be shared!
Marlene Goldschmidt says
This is by far my favorite post that you ever wrote. It touched my heart more than I can say.
Vickie @Vickie's Kitchen and Garden says
It’s amazing what out children can teach us. What a cute brave girl! Have a great Sunday.
Robin Lynch says
Such a special post! Thank you and your whole familly for being so open and sharing.
Rose says
She sounds like a wonderful child! Makes me cognizant of all the wonderful qualities in my own children and grandchildren.
Tzipora says
Oh My Gosh Crystal you got me bawling here, in front of my screen in Jerusalem… yes you have fans all the way here. Thank you for the encouragement and the inspiration! I pray that she grows in good health, to walk in the way of Gd and be a light to everyone around her. Same goes for the rest of the crew, with much love.
Shala@HomeSweetGrown says
Very sweet. I love it. Thanks for sharing.
Beth Anne says
I love this. Thank you so much for sharing, and thank you to Kathrynne for letting you share about her! What an incredible girl you have.
I need to write more love notes to Holden. What a treasure this will be for her as she grows up.
Shauna says
Great Post!! Beautiful Daughter!
Kara says
Beautiful words! It is amazing to think how children can challenge their parents to become better people. Your children are blessed to have such a wonderful Mama!
Linda says
That is so sweet. Thank you Kathrynne for letting your mom tell your story!
Melissa Kaiserman says
Ahhhh. Beautifully said, Mama.
Mandy W says
Absolutely beautiful…your daughter and your precious words to her! I have two daughters, ages 3 and 5 years, and your letter definitely pulled at my heart strings. I pray that they, like your sweet girl, find their identity in Christ and live with courage and confidence. Isn’t it amazing how deeply our children can challenge us and change us from the inside out? Such blessings!
Sarah says
Love this! I learn these exact things from my five-year-old daughter, just at a five-year-old level. 🙂 It’s amazing how God uses our kids to show us what really matters, to mold us to be the person He created us to be.
Your kids have a great mom! 😉
Erin@The Humbled Homemaker says
This is so very sweet!