I am definitely not a natural morning person at all and really struggle with the morning. How do you suggest a non-morning person use the morning versus staying up at night? Right now, I am really not using either effectively. I go to bed early (by 10 p.m. at the latest) and wake up late (between 6 a.m. to 9 a.m.) depending on my work schedule (I currently work a variety of shifts during the week). I find it really hard to get anything done after putting our daughter in bed (I feel so tired after our bedtime routine) or in the a.m. before work (prying myself out of bed is so hard). -Allison
Hi, Allison!
Such a great question! I’d encourage you first of all, to make sure that you’re not telling yourself “I’m not a morning person” and then acting in that belief.
You see, I’ve found that when I tell myself “I’m not _____” it restricts me and confines me. What you believe is how you live. So make sure you’re not allowing yourself to believe something that’s not the truth.
If you’ve read my running story, I share about how for years, I believed “I’m not a runner” and I let that belief rule how I lived. But when I stopped letting that belief dictate my lifestyle and I actually started doing Couch to 5K, I realized that I actually loved running. But first I had to get up, make myself do it over and over again, to discover that my statement of “I’m not a runner” wasn’t true.
Yes, I may not be a fast runner and I may not be a long-distance runner, but I can run. And this has motivated me to stop the belief that “I can’t do _____” or “I’m not _____” hold me back from success in my life.
You mentioned that you are getting a lot of sleep but you are still feeling so tired. You may have a really demanding job that is contributing to this, but I’d also encourage you to consider getting your bloodwork done and thyroid checked to make sure that there’s a not a physical problem that’s contributing to your tiredness.
Also, be sure you’re taking care of yourself — eating a balanced diet, drinking enough water, and getting some exercise — as this will give you more energy and also help you sleep better at night. For some suggestions here, I encourage to read my series on 15 Ways to Have More Energy.
Step back and examine your life and goals. Do you have a few things you’re pursuing/working on that are exciting you? It’s amazing what a difference it can make when you have some things you’re doing that make you feel alive. And when you have these in your life, they’ll probably give you extra motivation to get up in the morning.
Finally, I encourage you to start small. Set your alarm for a little bit earlier than you’d usually get up and commit to getting up then and doing two small things every morning for three weeks. See how you feel and if it makes a difference in your day and energy levels. If it does, try adding a few more small tasks to your morning.
Having said all this, I want to remind you to do what works for you. Don’t feel like you need to get up really early in the morning or have a strict morning routine and get 15 things done every morning before you go to work. What works for me and others, won’t necessarily work for you. Focus on what is best for your family, schedule, energy levels, and situation.
I’m cheering for your success, Allison! I hope you’re able to find a morning routine that starts your day off well!
What advice and suggestions do the rest of you have for Allison? Share them in the comments.
Hannah says
I get up every morning for private bible time and I am NOT a natural early riser. One thing that has truly helped me is realizing that on the days I do not have that 30 minutes of quiet time, I don’t have the same healthy and refreshed approach to life! So that is one way I make it a priority… whatever those things are that help you feel recharged at the beginning of your day.
Brandy says
I am married, and we have 2 boys under age 6. I struggle with keeping a consistent regular routine.
I agree with all of the tips Crystal Paine suggested (especially the tip about taking care of yourself physically. If you’re in poor health, no tip will work for you) and just wanted to share some additional tips that work for me.
1. Pray. That’s always a good first strategy. God hears our prayers, and He answers (what the answer will be and what it will look like and what time frame He will take care of it is up to Him).
2. Throw out terminology. I don’t label myself as a “morning person” or “night person.” It doesn’t matter, and it’s stressful to think of myself as NOT being one more thing. I really just want to know how to best use my personal time away from work.
3. Get to know your circadian rhythm, and work together with it, instead of against it. Observe the times of day when you are at your best and the times of day when you can’t do anything more than dishes. (BTW, this observation will also force you to be aware of all the time you really have, which is more than we think we have most of the time.) Then HONOR yourself (instead of beating yourself up) by adjusting your tasks to better fit with your rhythm.
4. Embrace some basic strategies from professional organizers (PO). By following 3 basic strategies I got from the website of a PO, I’ve saved hours of time and gained peace of mind. These things have made it easier for me to wake up in the morning, because I know that I don’t have to add 45 minutes of time in the morning to look for stuff (where are the boys shoes, are my son’s shirts still in the dryer, where did I put my son’s sippy cup, what am I going to wear to work, and on and on). BTW, I’m not an organizing freak at all. I really am just implementing some small changes–nothing overwhelming.
Hope this helps!
Amy says
The best thing I have discovered to help me get up in the morning is to place my alarm clock on the dresser, away from my bed, so I have to physically get out of bed to turn it off. Once I am up, I don’t allow myself to crawl back into bed. I always tell my kids that once you are up and moving, your body starts feeling better. It’s true. Right after turning off the beeping alarm as quickly as possible (so it doesn’t wake my kids), I go right to shower and get started on my day.
Amie says
I am just now adding in a few things (in CAPS) to make my mornings more productive:
nurse the baby
let dogs out and clean up after them
START LAUNDRY
make kids breakfast
feed baby & eat my breakfast
BAKING/SLOW COOKING (either mixing something for the bread machine, popping something in the oven, or putting something in the crock pot)
pump and go online
dishes
My plan is to add in a quick wipe down of our bathrooms. I have been exercising when my husband gets home, but when summer vacation ends and I am back to work and no longer breastfeeding/pumping, I will exercise in the morning. I think that going slow is the way for me to get things done. I am no good after the kids are in bed. I just want to chill.
Crystal Paine says
I LOVE the idea of doing some baking or cooking first thing in the morning! What a great idea!
Elizabeth says
You mention blood work done and thyroid I would HIGHLY suggest getting B12 checked! I was falling asleep everywhere. I was always so tired. Extremely unmotivated like things just weren’t ‘worth it’ and it progressed. I attributed it to just getting older and the kids wearing on me but then it got really bad. I found out I had very low B12 lvls and go in every month now for booster shots of it. Another lady I know who has some of the same medical conditions I do complained of fatigue and I suggested B12 and she saw very early results from just taking a supplement pill. Mine was an extreme case thus why I need the shots but B12 and D3 supplements can really be helpful.
JOYce says
Are You a Lark, an Owl, or a Hummingbird?
All three ~
🙂 🙂 🙂
Need A Nap2 says
I also recommend looking into the possibility of sleep apnea. I was surprised (not totally shocked) to find out that I do have mild sleep apnea. It has helped so much to use a CPAP machine, though it is annoying. I feel so much better when I sleep well. I also have started taking an iron supplement (though you should check with your doctor) and feel better when I take that regularly. I try to spread different tasks throughout the day/weekend b/c I’m not a morning person either!
Alexa says
I have come to accept that I am not a morning person. I’ve tried several times to work in the morning but it just doesn’t happen.
I normally put my kids to bed at around 7:30-8:00 pm and shortly after that I get a burst of energy and I truly feel like this is when I do my absolute best work. So instead of trying to force myself to be a morning person I just work with my natural tendencies.
Sara says
I suffer from adrenal fatigue, and there is literally nothing that can pry me out of bed in the morning. I’m searching for a good naturopath to help, but in the meantime I’m just doing the best I can with my current limitations, and applauding my accomplishments (kids are fed, made it to all my son’s therapy appts, finished a homeschool day), and give myself grace on the shortcomings (dishes can wait until tomorrow, baseboards really don’t need to be scrubbed, laundry can be folded tomorrow).
Even if my house is spotless, and my kitchen is filled with Pinterest masterpieces, and I wake up at 5 am when my body is craving rest… but I overextend and exhaust myself to the point of being crabby towards my family, it’s not worth it. Do what you can, give yourself grace, and forget the rest 🙂
Need A Nap2 says
Amen! I think we all need some grace. 🙂
Happy Healthy and Wealthy Girl says
Hi Alison, I hate to wake up early but I usually stay up late.
It’s a little easier during summer months when we have more light. I read somewhere that one man was adjusting his alarm by one minute every day. so in one week you only move it by 7 minutes but in one month it will be 30 minutes. This week I was able to get up at 6:30am, which is a big progress for me. I want to do this routine, so I can be at work earlier and come home earlier and spend more time with kids. I found that some easy stretching helps me wake up, glass of cold water with lemon and a cup of coffee with breakfast. Take some supplements, like vitamin D, Bs and fish oil.
Maria says
I agree with those that say get a full thyroid panel by someone that knows what they are doing and get your Vit D checked, both are very common issues for woman.
The other thing not mentioned if it’s a real issue: get a sleep study done. Turns out there is some real official named disorder (can’t recall the name) that basically comes down to I’m not a morning person*. I finally did a sleep study and have it. The dr said a way to help correct the problem was to try to trigger/train my body with sunlight. Get at least 30-45 mins first thing in the am. Another 20 at lunch, then in the evenings turn the lights down low or wear sunglasses even inside. Getting low light in the evenings really helped.
Another issue could be sleep apnea. All kinds and sizes of people can have it – even children. I don’t snore and am thin, so thought that would never be an issue, but turns out I have a mild case of that too.
*Because I wasn’t a morning person I was setting my alarm for 5am and hit the snooze from then on because if I didn’t, between 6-7am when I needed to get up I couldn’t – I was too groggy. So the dr said tests showed I was never making it to rem/deep sleep, so basically, so I could get up in time, I was forcing my body to run sleep deprived all the time.
Amy R says
Do what works for you! I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON…and that’s ok. My hubby says I accomplish more after midnight than most people do all day. God made me the way I am, and I’m ok with it. Crystal (and many of the other ladies who visit this site) are amazing women who accomplish great things. I am not any less of a good homemaker or mom because I am more comfortable doing the majority of my work after my kids go to bed rather than before they get up. Be ok with who you are. Sure, get a good physical, have your thyroid checked, but if all is well, figure out a schedule that works for you and don’t worry about what anyone else does.
Emilie says
I agree!
Thank you from a “night owl”
Alexa says
I 100% agree as well!
Denise says
Another night owl chiming in 🙂
Some of my best cleaning and organizing is done well after when some ladies on here are already in bed!
Kris says
I agree!
kriswithmany says
With the visit to the Dr, ask about vit D deficiency as well. A primary symptom is fatigue, and it’s actually become quite a common deficiency in the US.
also, I highly suggest trying wake up the same time every morning. Your body will learn, and you’ll start waking at that time without an alarm.
Laura Smith says
My thought is that is okay not to get up early if that works for you. I do agree with that simply declaring “I’m not a morning person” before you’ve really tried it is probably a self fulfilling prophecy. However, there truly are productive people who function well without getting up early, and there’s nothing wrong with that. For six years I had a job that required me to get up early (before 6 am) just to get to work on time,. I even tried getting up at the same time on weekends to see if that would help me, but I always felt miserable upon waking up. I started working for myself and setting my own schedule about a year and a half ago, and I still felt compelled to make myself get up early. I just thought it somehow made me a better person or that if I had a later sleep schedule it would mean I wasn’t taking my work seriously or being as productive as I could have been. So I continued right along forcing myself out of bed at 6am each morning, frustrated, exhausted, and really struggling to accomplish much. Finally, I had an epiphany and realized that sleeping later didn’t make me a worse person or mean I would be less productive. I decided to give myself a 6 week trial where I would not use my alarm to wake up and just see what happened. I seriously had never been more productive, felt more energetic, or gotten more done!! The funny thing is that after freeing myself from the pressure of feeling like I had to get up early, I’ve settled into a natural rhythm of waking up around 6:30am anyway.
Karen says
Since you’re working, you must have some level of a routine. I mean mine looks like this: alarm goes off, hit snooze 4 times of so, finally get out of bed, bathroom, start eggs and coffee, get dressed, eat while packing lunch, go to work.
I mean, it accomplishes little except getting myself out the door, but it’s still a routine, right? You sound like me, I go to bed by 10:30 but then wake up just with the time I need to get ready for work. Nothing wrong with that. You may need to focus more on how you use the evening time, rather than morning. Maybe get your daughter to “help” or at least try to accomplish things that still allow you to focus on her?
Sorry I can’t be more helpful. Good luck!
Emilie says
I agree. Maybe your “routine” starts when you get up. I feel that as long as it is before noon, it is a morning routine.
I consider myself a night owl and am a morning person because I teach at 8am. If I could start teaching at 10 or 11 it would be great. I would love to have an evening job but it’s not possible so I do a lot of stuff on weekends.
I get a lot of my “routine” items done after my kids are in bed…at 10:30/11:00. I have been known to head out to shop at 10:00 at night.
I do not think there is anything wrong with doing your projects, chores, reading etc when it works for you and your family.
Sonia says
Crystal recommended getting your thyroid checked and I highly recommend that. With that, it is just as important that you see a doctor that actually knows about how to test the thyroid. Many just test for tsh and that is inadequate. Ask around for a good thyroid doctor in your area or even look online at the “institute for functional medicine” to find a doctor in your area. The doctor must run a full thyroid panel including thyroid antibodies and know how to properly interpret the results. I’m convinced I had low thyroid for a long time but was only recently diagnosed when I found a doctor that would test more than just the tsh. A big symptom of low thyroid is fatigue, meaning you need a lot of sleep. You may be suffering from just that. Hope that helps!
Kaitlyn says
Throughout the course of our lives we are incessantly learning to do things that are outside of our natural tendencies. Though I do agree with Crystal’s caveat about self-fulfilling prophecies, like “I cannot _____,” I have found that conversely you must acknowledge your shortcomings and work on them. I was never good at math, so I worked twice as hard to improve my skill and succeed at it.
That said, I am NOT a “morning person,” but I CAN discipline myself to develop a successful morning routine.
•I found a coffee pot at Costco for $30 that I can program the night before to brew in the morning. I start my morning being greeted by my wonderful little indulgence.
•I allow myself a period in my morning where I don’t feel pressured to do anything, after that grace period, I do what my body doesn’t want me to. I get up and get going! (My morning devotions and prayer fit into this time period, and that is a better day boost than my delicious java)
•I bite off my day in chunks. I have three kids, so my day is divided into pre-nap, nap, pre-bed (kids) and post-bedtime. I worked for some time to coordinate which tasks are the easiest for me to perform in each period. I still have time at the end of my day to unwind and rest, but still go to bed feeling like I have had a productive day and give myself the gift of a fresh start tomorrow.
Good luck, Allison! I feel your pain, but I guarantee you that you are capable!
Jennifer says
As Crystal said, it is good to examine the things we say and believe about ourselves to ensure we don’t limit the things we can achieve. However, we all are different and have varying rhythms. Some people are morning people and others night owls. For me I try to tap into my natural energy, within the confines of real life. I have to workout in the morning and pray or my entire day is off. Then, I determine what must get done within the time I have for the strongest impact. A priority list helps focus. Even spending a few minutes on a piece of a larger project or list will move you forward. When your shift changes that can be tough to have a routine. Do what works for you and will move you forward in the time you do have? If you’re tired in the morning may you can work on the computer or what works best for your energy that day and time. Best wishes!
sarah @ little bus on the prairie says
I agree with the above to “start small.” I’m pregnant with three other little ones running around and we’ve lately had some big life changes (a move into a school bus, for example). I have been feeling off-kilter and exhausted and inadequate at all the things I’m NOT doing (blogs run by super productive people can contribute to this feeling, sorry to say!)
However, when I shoot to just do even ONE thing, get a load of laundry started so it has time to line dry before the afternoon gets super hot, for example, I feel SO much better than making a huge list and then beating myself up for only crossing one thing off it.
Lea Stormhammer says
I think there are a lot of us who get up “early” (well before 8am) but don’t do the volume of things that Crystal does in the morning. I have an 18 mile commute every morning after dropping my children at school (12 miles to the school) so my morning routine is much simpler than hers:
* make bed and start coffee (2min)
* get dressed/groom (15min)
* drink coffee and read my morning devotional (20min)
* get the kids up and feed all of us (20min) (we do really simple or made ahead breakfasts for this)
Then the children get dressed and brush teeth while I load the car and we all head out the door.
If I have to go in earlier than normal, my husband takes the children and I consolidate eating breakfast and reading my devotional at the same time and take the coffee to work!
For me the routines are all about making my mornings and evenings easier and making sure we get do what we have to do, rather than accomplishing a lot or getting up super early. Your morning routine should fit you, not turn you into someone you aren’t!
Does that make sense?
If you’re having trouble sleeping, you might also want to get checked for allergies or sinus problems. If your sinuses are plugged or you have a deviated septum or other sinus issues you could be waking up several times a night without knowing it! (Not the same as sleep apnea but can still leave you tired.)
Lea
Caitlin says
I am much more of a night owl than I ever will be a morning person. What helps me to be a morning person is a routine. Every weekday morning I get up, make coffee, pack my husband a lunch, unload and load the dishwasher and hand wash the dishes. I then kiss him goodbye and fold a load of laundry. Only after that am I allowed to go on the computer. It also helps to imagine your future self. As in, if I stay in bed will I truly be happier tonight when I’ll have to dishes and laundry after work? When you do get out of bed and tackle those chores, take a second to thank yourself. ‘Thanks current self for making tonight so much easier for future me. Its really nice coming home and not thinking about those chores I did this morning.’ It really helps!
Kimber says
I thank my current self often – especially when I prepare freezer meals!
Jamie says
Have a friend who gets up early text you, set coffee and alarm (change up alarm sound and out in weird places each night), and do it for 4 weeks (even weekends, gulp) and you will get tired earlier and sleep harder! Have a godly motive in doing this and pray for God’s help!
Kelly says
I’m in a similar boat but I have to get up when my toddler gets up. I find that having a basic morning routine actually helps me. If I don’t have a routine I will never get anything done! I’ve never loved getting up early. I’ve always been a night owl. My routine is: nurse, get her breakfast and my coffee, dishes and clean kitchen, get us dressed. At that point we either run errands or meet for a play date before her nap. My bigger problem is definitely getting things done after she goes to bed. I just want to vedge out and their are so many better things I could be doing.
Sarah Eddins says
I have asked myself this question numerous times. And honestly, I don’t know that I’ll ever truly be one of those people who jumps out of bed emphatically and ready to tackle the day. But, I do agree with Crystal’s advice to start slow {as well as some of the health related advice}. I’ve been surprised at how getting up just a little earlier than normal helps me get a head start on my day. I’ve also heard that it takes 21 days to develop a habit, so I’m currently working on developing a morning routine of my own and giving myself 21 days for it to become habitual. I’m finding that knowing how much sleep my body needs is also key – it is incredibly hard for me to get up in the morning without a minimum of 7 hours of sleep. If I try to run on less, I will be unsuccessful and find my morning routine to be a struggle. Good luck and I’m right there with you!! I’m a night owl through and through, but working to change some of my own habits!! 🙂
Here’s my post about establishing my own morning routine {and I’ve been real encouraged by Crystal’s posts too}.
http://www.theteacherswife.com/2014/06/establishing-my-morning-routine.html
Raquel says
I do not have children yet, but both my husband and I work changing shifts. This makes it very difficult to always do the same thing (or have any standing routines). Just do what works for you week to week and day to day without feeling the need to be locked into the mornings. I try to sit down on Sundays and map out what needs to get done this week and figure out when I am going to do it this week with permission to do something different next week.