Stop Trying to Make Yourself Happy & Start Focusing on Making a Difference

Recently, I finished The Charge by Brendan Burchard and while I didn’t love that there was a lot of language in the book (call me a prude, but I don’t think you ever need to use four-letter words to make a point!), I found some of the parts really inspiring.

I especially loved this quote:

“You want to change? Then do not, under any circumstances, allow yourself to settle on a vision or a calling or a simple change in any arena that is uninspiring. If you’re going to have clarity on something in your life, make it something so big and bright and shiny that you will get out of bed and chase it until you grasp it or die. Bring forth a desire that knows no safe boundaries and even scares you a little bit, that will demand all the best that is in you, that takes you out of your own orbit and onto new and unfamiliar ground. That kind of desire changes your life, and it changes the world.”

What are your goals in life? Are you thinking long-term or just trying to live through the next hour? If your goal is just to survive, that’s probably not going to give you a lot of excitement about life nor fuel much passion for existence.

If you want to live an amazingly fulfilling life, you must live for something bigger than yourself. Stop trying to make yourself happy or comfortable and start focusing on making a difference in someone else’s life.

When I started living for bigger things than just the moment, it completely changed my drive and enthusiasm for life. Here are my current long-term ambitions for living:

  • Nurture a vibrant relationship with the Lord.
  • Invest time and effort into my marriage in order that it would be strong, thriving, and last for the long haul.
  • Raise children of character who will grow up to be world-changers.
  • Challenge families to get their finances in order so they can be generous givers.
  • Inspire women to live with intention and purpose.

Will I see all of these things to completion in my lifetime? Only God knows. But I do know that investing my life into things that matter makes every day worth waking up for.

You only get one shot at life. Don’t waste it!

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Comments

  1. Cathy says

    Those sound like great goals! This was timely for me as I’m going through Chalene Johnson’s 30 Day Challenge which involves setting big goals. And I appreciate your book posts as they often give me ideas to add to my reading list.

  2. says

    Awesome quote. I’ve never heard of that book, but I love the principle. I think many people start out with big dreams and goals when they’re young, and then the hardships of life–and other people’s opinions–eventually snuff them out. So sad. We all need to find our old dreams–the ones we had before we knew it wasn’t possible–and let the Lord breathe life back into them. That’s what makes life exciting. :)

  3. Lora C says

    This post hit home with me. I have been on a journey that has been causing me to begin living for bigger things instead of surviving. It truly does make a difference in your life.

    I appreciate your honesty about the book–I won’t be reading it. I must be a prude too–I have a difficult time getting into books with a lot of language in them. I feel like I am being “slapped” each time I read the words.

  4. says

    Quite inspiring. This line hit home for me: You only get one shot at life, better make it count.
    As one commentator has said, at some point in life we hit a wall, a plateau, we fall into patterns and cycles and we forget the once big dreams and goals we had as kids/young adults.
    That’s what we need to resurrect, find our bigger purpose and break out of our comfort cycles and plateaus and go forth to live remarkable lives!

  5. FullofJoy says

    I guess people would call me prude too. I *totally* agree that you never need to use four-letter words to make a point.

  6. DixyAnn says

    I think people sound poorly educated when the only way they think they can get a point acrossed is to use profanity.

  7. Kim says

    Does anyone have any ideas on finding those passions/dreams. As a child, I didn’t know what I wanted to do when I grew up and now at 40, I still don’t! I want so badly to find that passion to drive after, a passion to make a difference.

    Problem is…I love to be original and unique. I’m good at everything…a jack of all traits; however, I am also master of none. With media like Pinterest, Facebook,blogs,etc. ,it seems that everything is already being done and many times better…and ,of course, I hate to copy. ; )

    People pleasing has always been a large part of my personality and even as a young girl, my natural default has always been to sacrifice to please others. Unfortunately, it has also gotten in the way of being able to uncloud what my true passions are! I so desperately want to find that unique spot that God uniquely created me to do!
    Any ideas?

    • Amy Jayne says

      Kim you sound so much like me, it’s scary…I could have written your post! I am the same way: people pleaser, jack of all trades but seemingly expert at none, and up until a about a year ago I had no idea exactly what I wanted to do with the rest of my life (and I’m close to your age at 35). Being a wife and mother is amazing! It’s great and I have a passion for being the best wife and mom. But we do not homeschool (we have a wonderful public school district that even celebrates Easter break and calls it “Easter break” and they’ve even sung Amazing Grace at a music program), and I have a lot of time on my hands. Eventually the kids will be grown and the idea is for them to leave and make their dreams a reality. But I wanted a dream of my own.
      What I did was to read anything I could get my hands on to see if it struck a passion in me and to learn to make positive changes in my life. Most importantly, I prayed (and prayed some more) for guidance and didn’t make a move until I knew it was the right decision, and eventually God placed a big dream in my heart.
      I am on my second term in online college classes from a Christian university that is about 45 minutes from me (Waldorf) and I am studying psychology. I’ve always been interested in this topic since I was in high school but I have never followed up on any of the interests. I’m loving it so far and I can do my studies while the kids are at school. Eventually I want to become an Applied Behavior Analyst (it requires a Master’s) and work with kids that have Autism. It’s the God-sized dream because I have zero experience but it has been placed on my heart.
      A couple of months after I decided I would go for it, an Autism center is now being built in a town close to my home. They had very few options before this and I had no idea where it would take me but I now have a place to possibly get a position when I am done with college. It’s amazing and it shows me Gods hand working, all I had to do was step out in faith.
      I pray that you will find your passion!

      • Kim says

        Thanks Amy! I really like what you said in that paragraph:
        “What I did was to read anything I could get my hands on to see if it struck a passion in me and to learn to make positive changes in my life. Most importantly, I prayed (and prayed some more) for guidance and didn’t make a move until I knew it was the right decision, and eventually God placed a big dream in my heart.”
        I will continue seeking God’s guidance but will also do as you suggest…read a lot about different topics of possible interest!
        May God bless you as you use your passion for Him. He will give you so many ways to be His hands and feet in your future profession! How exciting! Thanks again for your advice! Can’t wait to be among you passion chasers! :)

  8. says

    These are great. Mine are very similar. I should take the time to jot mine down in the front of my bible. Or on paper as a bookmark in my bible so I can see them daily.
    I blogged today about wanting my life to stand for something. I guess God’s going to keep confirming that all day.

  9. says

    This post has been haunting me (in a good way) and challenging me since I read it a few days ago.

    I’ve been thinking about it since I read it, especially these few lines : “If you want to live an amazingly fulfilling life, you must live for something bigger than yourself. Stop trying to make yourself happy or comfortable and start focusing on making a difference in someone else’s life.”

    And this one “If your goal is just to survive, that’s probably not going to give you a lot of excitement about life nor fuel much passion for existence.”

    Powerful post Crystal. I probably won’t be able to express how much of an impact this post has on me till further down the road but its really got me changing my thinking about how I’m living. Thank you.

  10. Jill says

    Thank you! I loved your long term goals, I might even have the exact same ones, but you wrote them down more beautifully. Thank you for the work you do!