Guest post by Lacey
One of the things motherhood has taught me–besides how much I love my daughter–is to value community. Yes, my baby girl is great, and I adore spending time with her, but time with other moms is incredibly important for the heart and soul. Too much time in isolation, and I find myself growing discouraged, impatient, and less likely to embrace the goodness I have been given.
Spending time with other women who are in the same spot in life provides encouragement and perspective. But, if you’re not careful, meeting up with someone else or a group can turn expensive quickly. It’s easy to say, “Meet me for lunch,” or, “Let’s get coffee,” and not think about how much money you’ll be spending.
So, here is a list of 20 things you can do with others for little or no money that still allow you to find the community that we all need:
1. Go to a park and enjoy a pretty day.
2. See if your city has a Science Spectrum. In the city where we just moved, a year long membership costs just $5 a month–and I can invite another adult woman for free, as long as our children are under age three.
3. Make your own coffee and invite someone over. If you want to make it extra special, try making some homemade syrups or your own lattes.
4. Rent a redbox movie and pop your own popcorn.
5. Walk around the neighborhood and enjoy a pretty day.
6. Do potluck lunch. Suppers are often hard to do (and that’s family time), but a potluck lunch with several friends could be a lot of fun!
7. Have a dessert buffet: everyone brings one snack or sweet to share! (This could be a lot of fun around Christmas time!)
8. Start a book club.
9. Have a baby sitting circle–one mom watches the other kids while the other moms shop or run errands.
10. Have a baking day and get caught up on all of your baking for the month.
11. Take a picnic.
12. Take a nature walk with all your children.
13. Walk the mall (and window shop!).
14. Visit a museum.
15. Hold a craft party, or any other “skill:” knitting, photography, etc.
16. Make brunch.
17. Have a weekly/monthly group where each member takes a turn teaching the others how to do something.
18. Start a blogging group.
19. Plan menus together.
20. Create an accountability group.
To Remember:
::It doesn’t matter what you do. The point is to build a community of people that helps you stay encouraged and in the proper perspective.
::In order for this to happen, the people with whom you are in community (yourself included) need to be real, vulnerable, and honest. This is the surest way to build solid community.
::As well, each person needs to be willing to be sensitive to the needs of others—listen at least as much as you talk (if not more). Keep your eyes out for new people to include–remembering that you were once where they were!
What are your best tips for finding and building community, without spending a lot of money?
Lacey lives in Lubbock, Texas with her husband, Kade, and sweet daughter, Selah, where they work at Redeemer Church. She regularly captures her musings on all things related to being wife, mommy, and recipient of grace at her blog. There’s usually a cup of coffee involved.
Nancy says
I would love to be able to do these things except, I don’t have anyone to do this with. I have a couple of women I talk to on Facebook but have there own things they do. I’ve made several attempts to meet up but there’s always a reason why they can’t (babysitting nieces/nephews, too busy, etc). I do have my mother whom I try to spend time with when we are both off at the same time but she’s pretty unhappy in her marriage and discusses all the negative things nonstop even after I’ve tried giving advice and praying for her. I guess I’m stuck…..
Daniela says
Just keep trying to put yourself out there. I know exactly what you mean -but am working hard now to set things up with people. Instead of my usual vague “let’s get together sometime” I’m finding that those who are making new connections just put a time and place out there and it works. Hang in there. There are many days I’m solo (most days) but I do what we like to do and make the most of it
Holly says
We have Family Friday, I make homemade pizzas in the evening and then we play a family game. It is way cheaper than going out to eat, and everyone loves the time together!
Karissa says
I’m so encouraged by all these ideas! I just moved to St. Louis 2 months ago and am due with our first kiddo December 30th. You guys have given me so ideas on how to meet people and then how to connect with them later–WITH the kiddo! As a single I hosted brunches and invited my lady friends from all my different social/church/work circles so people could meet new friends. (any St. Louis first time mom’s out there? I’m in Maryland Heights and would love to meet you!)
Amanda says
I like that she included “walk the mall”. My boys think a trip to the mall is such a treat! They don’t mind me looking through clearance clothes as long as I let them ride the escalator and the elevator once while we are in the store. They’ve even sat patiently while I tried on a dress or two and I’ve patiently allowed them to play like we are “spies” as we go through the clothing area. On one occasion, Yankee Candle had a deal – buy one tart and get the other half off. We spent a long time just smelling all the different tarts and seeing if we could guess the scent (my three year old is blind, so he loved this) and then I let them each pick one out ($3 for the whole thing!). And if they are really good, I might let them spend a quarter to get some chocolate covered raisins out of the little vending machines. Cheap and so much fun! And sometimes I find a great deal, too!
Karen says
My friend and I love to pick blueberries together every summer. We pick from different sides of the same bush and can carry on a conversation together.
katie says
4 girlfriends and I started a “lunch bunch” that met once a week when we each had 1 infant. We nursed our kids, chatted, and each brought a dish to share for lunch (and we had great food!), and just hung out for a few hours in the morning. That was 5 years ago, and we have been meeting faithfully weekly that entire time, and grown our brood to 16 kids! Gone are the days of eating delicious lunches and having entire conversations, but we have shared and gone through so much together, our kids are great friends, and I would trust these girls any day with ANYTHING!
Marlana says
I just had to say that I’m from Longview, Texas! Wonderful state!
Ashlee says
We joined a Moms group in my area. Its a lot of fun. Everyone takes turns hosting events and play groups. Its nice to be involved in a little something.
Jessica says
My city’s Parks and Recreation department offers many free classes for children and adults. Volunteers teach the classes and you can meet great (and frugally minded) people when you attend. My 5yo takes preschool sports and art, and I’m about to start a free ceramics class.
Julia says
Fabulous ideas! With preschoolers, I’ve enjoyed meeting other moms at the library for organized story times. It’s free, fun, and doesn’t depend on the weather outside!
Sandy says
For many years I would host DessertFest. I always held it on a Sunday in September, during football season, and would invite my family/friends/cooworkers. Every year I had more than 30 women attend. Each person would bring a dessert, the recipe for that dessert, and a large, empty storage container. It was an afternoon of girl talk and sweet indulgances. We’d all vote on which dessert was our favorite and the recipe which received the most votes would win 2 new cookies sheets, 2 cookie cooling racks, and 2 new hot pads. I’d spend about a week typing up the recipes and forming a cookie book which I mailed out to each woman who attended that year’s DessertFest. It was such a pleasant way to spend a fall afternoon. The men loved it for they got to dive into treats when their wives returned home. Plus, it was a great way to try all sorts of new recipes and pick the ones I wanted to serve at the up coming holidays.
Lacey Wilcox says
Oh my-Dessert Fest??!! I would LOVE that!!
Paige says
I’m a member of MOPs (mothers of preschoolers) and highly recommend it to other moms looking for community. We meet at a local church for coffee, breakfast while our children are taken care of my volunteers. The meetings vary as far as what we do…sometimes more fun, sometimes more serious. It could be a craft, a speaker, something more active…whatever our leaders have planned for us. It is great way to spend time with other moms & to make lots of friends. Now I know so many women who I enjoy spending time with & my children enjoy spending time with their children! If anyone is interested you can check out the MOPs website, http://www.mops.org & find a group in your area.
Paige says
oops, BY volunteers! SORRY
Brandy says
Before kiddos, my friends and I would take turns hosting dinner. It was never anything fancy, just a way for us to all get together without breaking the bank! It was such a good way to reconnect and enjoy each other’s company! I will be staying at home soon, and I hope to do something similar for lunch with SAHMs in the area.
Dawn says
Love all these ideas! A couple of times I’ve invited friends over for a “Sack Lunch Social” – everyone brought their own lunch, whether it was fast food, PB& J or leftovers. I provided beverages and dessert and access to a microwave. I did it “open house” style (from 11:30 – 1) so even those with jobs could come when it worked for them. It was a lot of fun and cost me about $5 for a whole lot of fellowship.
Brandy says
I love this idea! Thanks!
Lacey Wilcox says
Brilliant!! And it sounds like adults and kids would enjoy it!!
Tracey says
what a lovely list! I try and get outside at least once a day (weather permitting of course) and just sit in a park and watch everyone. Even just a friendly nod to say hi can be all you need to connect and feel a sense of community.
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Elias says
We are very blessed to have a lot of community festivals/fairs for families with young children. It was one of the reasons we liked the area we bought in. In October, April and December there are tons of free festivals with crafts, balloon animals, bounce houses, holiday themed stuff etc. Our weekends are usually booked and then even during the rest of the year, we are able to hit one up about one every other month. They usually sell food so I could bring lunches but the money goes to donations for local schools, churches, community sponsors etc so I feel kind of like I’m giving back by purchasing food.
samantha says
Join a moms group in your area! Meetup.com is a good place to fine one! They are a great source to find local and cheap things to do!
sarah says
I agree with this! I run a christian moms group in san diego, we have tons of fun for free!
Betty says
Sarah what part of San Diego does your group meet. I’ve lived her my whole life and found finding good friends and fun people to be difficult at times.
sarah says
Hi Betty! We’re based in north county, from escondido to poway. You’re welcome to check us out at http://www.meetup.com/NCChristianmoms/ 🙂
Lacey Wilcox says
Great idea-I’d never heard of it!
The Prudent Homemaker says
Just have them over for a visit! The children can play at your house, and you can visit in the kitchen or living room. I have a friend that comes over and doesn’t mind if I’m in the middle of doing dishes, or if I bring out my hand-sewing while we’re talking. The children have fun playing with our toys (someone else’s toys are always new and fun!), with our dress-up clothes (this is a favorite toy around here and we have lots of them in lots of sizes!), or in the backyard (we have swings taller than the park, an in-ground trampoline, and a merry-go round, but they also just play tag on the grass while we visit inside). We can see the children through the window and we leave the door open while they’re outside, weather permitting.
Amy Lauren says
I love this list :). I agree with volunteering- I’m a volunteer coach for a youth cross country team here in town. I don’t get paid, but I don’t have any coaching certification- they were just looking for adults to run with the kids and cheer them on and be good role models… so I get a good workout in and love helping out! Really brings a lot of joy :).
Lacey Wilcox says
This is great-and you get your exercise!!
Elizabeth says
I like to biking or running with my friends. Exercise is good for the heart and soul!
Erin says
My girlfriends and I have started a canning club. We get together once a month and can whatever is in season. In Aug we did all sorts of dilled things, peaches and what not. Sept. was all about jams and this past weekend was an apple day.
Amber says
How neat! 🙂
Lacey Wilcox says
There are no words to say how much I love this idea-right now I don’t know of many people who want to do that with me! I just made apple butter by myself :(.
Sarah says
Or have a family and friends worship evening to sing hymns and listen to a sermon online.
Kimber says
Great idea, Sarah!
Jen says
Host a game night, play frisbee, have a clothing swap, fly a kite, or keep your eyes on the daily deal sites for cheap fun outings.
My University Money says
How about volunteering? There is always somewhere, community, church, school etc, that needs volunteers and I’ve found that the people you meet there are usually A+!
Christy says
Our church often has nursery provided when there are volunteer opportunities too.
Lacey Wilcox says
Great idea!!! Do something good while you meet people with whom you can have great relationship!!!