Comments on: Becoming a Work-At-Home Mom: Learning Through Failure (Part 3)

By: Jennifer Russell

Jennifer Russell — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 17:33:59 +0000

One of my good friends is a great mother. She does more for her three kids than most people could conceive of. I would trust her with my own son, and that is saying something. But her husband works a lot of hours and after four years of being a stay-at-home mother, she was starting to get a little buggy, for lack of a better word. She was craving the interaction of adults in her life, far more than occasionally logging onto Facebook.
She decided that she wanted a job. But she did not want a job that required leaving a care giver to take care of her children. She would not compromise on that, yet she felt without the ability to spend time with adults, she was going to have problems. Her training after high school was beauty school. She was great at cutting hair, doing nails, using make-up, and things of that sort. In fact, two of her female friends had asked her be the person to apply their make-up when they married.
So her husband, being the good guy that he is, put his mind to it and came up with the answer for her. Because of his encouragement, she became an independent beauty consultant. This had several great benefits for her. Her training was in this field to start with, and it was something she was quite good at. Secondly, she got adult interaction with other women who had similar interests. Sometimes the women would come to her house, sometimes she would go to theirs. In many instances, she was able to even kill two birds with one stone. Many of the women also had children close to her childrens’ ages. So the business appointment also doubled as a play date for the children.
It was a very refreshing change of pace for her, and she truly began to thrive. She didn’t have to leave her children in someone else’s care, and yet she was earning more income for the family and doing something she absolutely loved. She also got to make her own hours. Most importantly, she was getting the adult interaction she needed for her own sanity.
She has now been an independent>independent beauty consultant for two years. She told me she lives in the best of all possible worlds, and I have rarely known someone so contented with their life. Its amazing how sometimes one simple little change can help a person go from some having fundamental dissatisfaction with their life, to thinking their life is one they would never trade.

By: Christine @Lily of the Valley

Christine @Lily of the Valley — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 21:56:31 +0000

You are such an inspiration! Thank you for sharing so candidly, from your heart. I am looking forward to the next segment! Blessings!

By: jen g

jen g — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 13:41:08 +0000

I’m loving this series. Thanks for being so vulnerable – it’s so good to hear your process. And thanks for the website – I’ve learned so much from you!

By: Marrisa

Marrisa — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 08:31:44 +0000

Thank you for showing us all aspects of trying to work at home, the good and the bad, it’s very helpful for those of us that are trying to find ways to bring in income from home. My failure was a virtual assistant. I put so much together, ads, website, researched prices for services and just could not bring in customers and then, to my horror, another lady in town got a spot on the local news about her VA biz and I thought for sure she would get all the local biz. I think way back then people just were not comfortable with the idea of a virtual assistant. Maybe now in this day and age, where people do EVERYTHING online, email, text messages and such, it would be more of a needed service.

By: Emmi

Emmi — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 18:14:54 +0000

Thanks so much for writing these articles. I am a new stay-at-home and I’m really missing work. I’ve tried a few stay-at-home jobs that I thought would be real money makers and they have all been real flops and failures! It’s not that we absolutely “need” the money but I “need” the fulfillment. I’m thinking about starting my own blog next year so I can’t wait until you get to the part about starting your blog site. I’m trying to learn all I can and appreciate any information you give! Thanks for inspiring us all!

By: Challice

Challice — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 22:33:27 +0000

You are getting really good and leaving us hanging.

By: Swap Savers

Swap Savers — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 20:29:48 +0000

Thanks for the inspiring post. I used to be a counselor and this posts reminds me of the saying, “A crisis is an opportunity”. JFK also said, “When written in Chinese, the word ‘crisis’ is composed of two characters–one represents danger, and the other represents opportunity.”
Instead of viewing your situation as a “failure” you viewed as an opportunity to learn and grow.

By: Carrie @ Who Knew?

Carrie @ Who Knew? — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 18:39:55 +0000

Your words on failure are so true. We fight it so hard and yet learn most of the truly important through failures and mistakes.

I love this series.

By: Dawn

Dawn — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 18:39:08 +0000

Thanks so much for your inspiration! You are a great writer, you always leaving me waiting in suspense with these posts!

By: Gina

Gina — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 15:29:32 +0000

Mas’s comment above appears to be a pyramid scheme. Beware.

By: Claire at Saving Money Plan

Claire at Saving Money Plan — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:37:53 +0000

Mary – Keep up your excellent attitude to life’s trials;)

By: mommyluvs2save

mommyluvs2save — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:05:52 +0000

You have a very inspirational story. They say that we learn the most about ourselves through failure. I am trying to get rid of my family’s debt so that I can stay at home and be like you when I grow up:) mommyluvs2save.com

By: jackie

jackie — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:02:37 +0000

I realize that we all have to do what we have o doto make ends meet. But at the same time, never undermine the value in being a stay at home mom and putting your investment (time & energy) into your children. I too worked from home for a billing company. I thought it was awesome! Slowly though, I realized it was taking away from my relationships with my kids, an/or my husband…so (with a lot of tears) I gave it up. That was sooo hard to do. But, I have seen God’s blessing! He has blessed my husband with more than enough work!!! I just had to trust God and do what mattered today!
Thanks

By: Trixie

Trixie — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 13:20:09 +0000

Mary,

Best wishes to you! You have an indominable spirit — you will make it through all of this with flying colours.

Trixie

By: brookeb

brookeb — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 13:08:39 +0000

Mary: Your attitude is amazing — I wish you all the luck & strength in the world.

By: Anna

Anna — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 13:03:50 +0000

I don’t understand why this was a failure. You were able to bring in some students on your first try. It seems like your expections were unrealistic and made it feel like a failure.

What I am trying to figure out is how do you know when to give up on something or keep pursuing it til it does meet your expectations? I got the impression that you labeled the creative class idea as a failure after your first try but when creating this blog (which I love btw) it wasn’t a success at first but you kept working on it til it was. How did you know that you wanted to keep working hard on your blog and not spend that time on trying something else?

******************
Anna: You’re right, it wasn’t a complete failure in that I did have a few children sign up. But it was certainly not anywhere near a success. Given the circumstances and how hard I worked to get four sign-ups and how little interest there was in the whole thing, I’m pretty sure it’s safe to say I would have had zero sign-ups the next semester.

I learned that there just wasn’t the market out there in the area we lived for a “product” I believed to be marketable. When that becomes obvious, then I believe it’s time to move on. With the blog and other things, it was obvious after a few months and a lot of effort that there was a real market, so I kept at it.

Next week, I’ll be talking about a much bigger business failure and how I learned from it and moved on from it…

By: Mary

Mary — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 12:57:05 +0000

I just closed a children’s consignment shop after nearly 5 years of being in business. It never made a decent profit – it just barely broke even last year and then I moved to a building with lower rent and all I heard from people were complaints about how they had to drive so far to get there (7 extra miles…puhlease!)

Anyway, closed the business a week ago and I’m going back to work in my field, but there are zero jobs available here (15.2% unemployment in my county) so I’m planning to move somewhere to take a job, for at least a year, til I can transfer back.

Five years ago I had $40k in a 401k…now I owe double that. Was it a failure? Not to the hundreds of families that made extra money selling their items, and not to the thousands that bought good, used merchandise at good prices. My car was totaled a month ago (someone hit me head-on when they turned left in front of me) and I’m very likely going to lose my house in the next month. And, my dog died in September, so there is nothing holding me back from a fresh start.

I leave my business with very little – I’m selling most of what I own to pay off debt. But I have all of the knowledge and experiences that happened over the past five years and I’ll always have that. I refuse to view the business as a failure because of all the positives. My brother is buying a car in his name that I can use. I’ll find a job, soon I hope, and rent a room in whatever city I end up in. I’ll pay off my loans, pay back my credit cards and start fresh. I passed a billboard the other day that read:

Recession 101:
No one can repossess your future.

Deep, huh?
Words to live by, folks.

By: Laura

Laura — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 12:21:49 +0000

Hi Crystal:

Happened across your blog and enjoyed this post. I can identify with your creative writing class plan – almost the exact same thing happened with me when planning a local affiliate marketing course. I had visions of at least 50 students – ended up with a total of 9. But it was a great learning experience.

By the way, your blog is beautiful, and those kids … those KIDS! They are adorable!

By: Angela

Angela — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 11:58:07 +0000

Since starting out working at home a few years ago, I’ve had to learn to adjust and grow. Lately I’m at a place where I’m realizing if I’m going to be successful, I’m going to have to be willing to step out of my comfort zone and try new things.

I also think it’s important to make sure you’re not risking more in business than you can afford to lose. If you’re a SAHM who NEEDS money, taking out a $15K loan to start a business might not be the best idea. In my case, I’m a freelance writer – so I’m selling a service, not a good – and there has been very little financial risk involved. So if I fail, I’ve failed at a profit at least and not with loans to pay off!

By: Claire at Saving Money Plan

Claire at Saving Money Plan — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 11:55:10 +0000

Could you type out Col. 3:23 for the rest of us, Ashley?