photo by krisdecurtis
Christmas is coming and I have a large family, some
of whom have a lot of "disposable" income and others who are really
squeaking by this year. I have spent several of the last Christmas
seasons in tears of sadness and frustration. Sometimes I feel like I
can’t get the people on my list a "good enough" gift and sometimes
there is not enough money to get a gift for everyone.I’d really like
to do things differently this year and I’d like to actually make
Christmas about Jesus and not about shopping. So, how can I get
everyone in the spirit? How can we celebrate in a meaningful way? How
do I give gifts from the heart and not from the wallet, and what do
other families do to get through Christmas without crying? -Alisa
I am guessing Alisa is not alone in her struggles; likely many of you have experienced something similar. So, how have you dealt with it? What ideas or suggestions do you have for Alisa?
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We buy gifts for only one family member per side of the family. We write down everyone’s name on a chart from my side of the family. Then each sibling is assigned someone (and their family) for Christmas. Everyone then rotates to the next person on the chart for the next year so you get a chance to do everyone eventually. We also do this for my husband’s side the family. This has helped us tremendously and all of the family members on both sides really like it because you can focus on just that family and no one gets their feelings hurt. We ALL appreciate how much money it’s saving us too.
I also start looking earlier in the year for gifts that I could get because I already know who I have for that year. I am focused on their needs/likes/wants and can find something just for them (or make something) starting from the beginning of the year. By Christmas time, we have plenty to give without hardly costing us anything or stress!
On keeping Christmas tear-free:
One great way to prepare for Christmas is to celebrate the season of Advent. I am Catholic, and for the four weeks leading up to Christmas our liturgy at Church focuses on the Old Testament passages foretelling the coming of the Messiah and Israel’s longing for the Savior. We have an advent wreath at home and light a candle each of the four Sundays before Christmas, read and pray about Christ coming as the LIght of the World. It makes longing for Christmas about so much more than presents! We also have an empty manger with a pile of “hay” beside it (yellow construction paper strips). Each time we do something to remind us of Christ we secretly put a piece of straw in the manger. For example, doing good deeds for each other, praying and recalling God’s presence throughout the day, giving up something that we’d like (that extra cookie…) to remind us that we should be longing for Christ more than we long for the things of this world, etc. The goal is to have a manger full and ready for the Christ Child on Christmas morning, symbolizing our hearts prepared to receive Him. This kind of preparation can also become a gift for others. No matter how tight our budgets, we can always pray for people, and making a simple gift or card telling the person you prayed for them during the Christmas season is a gift that is eternal.
Just give as you are able.
Do not worry about making it even out.
We don’t do big gifts anymore, and asked that we not receive big gifts. But of course one family member of limited resources (MIL) still wants to buy big gifts. Well I can’t stop her; she will still get the little gifts from us, what else can we do? I do try to make it something thoughtful and wanted.
Also there are some family members who just make a LOT more $ than we do, so when they give something that costs a lot, I don’t stress over it, but receive graciously.
But in general, it seems to work to simply stop giving big gifts, the receiving end of it will slow down, LOL.
Also sometimes what we do is offer a meal instead; have people over to the house and cook something nice.
I make a list of who I need to buy for and what the budget is. We do this early in the year and then I start picking up good deals for each person. I got school supplies for the little kids during the back to school sales. I filled a box for only $2.50 each. I got a few really nice wallets for my sisters and am going to put gift cards in them. I only paid $6 for $40 wallets. We have a new baby coming this month and I know we will have hospital bills coming around Christmas time, so starting my shopping early has helped. I also try to discuss a budget with our siblings and then stick to it.
I’ve also decided that everyone is getting the same gift this year! We sponsor a little girl in Rwanda, so we’re giving everyone coffee from Rwanda. Everyone drinks coffee, and we’re helping our sponsored child’s country! If you’re interested, check out http://www.landofathousandhillscoffee.com
This is a GREAT thread and one so many people could benefit from! I have read about 1/3 of the responses and cannot wait to get back to it later today.
My DH & I have a LARGE family – the kind that married, divorced & remarried… LARGE! Each year I have had to thin my giving list out more and more. It is hard, I won’t say that it is not. This year we are thinning even more. We are tyring something new with my parents that our gifts have to be hand made/assembled – and this thread has really created some amazing ideas. Thanks!
Thought I’d share an idea that I received as a gift a couple years back and am going to do this year with some young ladies. A Journal Jar or Blog Thoughts Jar – with this you make a thought or quote or question for each day of the year on a little strip of paper. Roll these little strips around a pencil to curl them and drop them into a mason jar or cute container. Include a journal and pen. Each day the person reads a new slip as a starter for their pen & journal or as a topic for their blogs – which ever suits their life. Very fun, gives all year long and is a wonderful keepsake when it is all done.
Books, books, books!
All of the cousins started exchanging books. They write a personal message inside with the date, too. Books are cheap! Books can be purchased in the Scholastic order forms that come home from school for $2.00 or less or check out the rack of high interest children’s paperbacks in Barnes and Noble for only $3.99. Draw names or give one books per family if there are a lot of kids to buy for.
When I couldn’t figure out what to get for my sister for her birthday this past August (she has most “things” she wants, but works full-time and has a toddler and a baby, creating a hectic schedule for her and her husband), I decided to give her 2 meals a month for a year. I’ve been making double-batches of the meals I’m making for my family every other week, and delivering them to her twice a month (I could also freeze them and deliver less frequently). She told me that this is the best and most thoughtful gift she’s ever gotten!
The way I thought of if was just thinking about what she REALLY wanted, and I realized that the thing she talked about most was not having enough time in the evenings to prepare a nice family meal.
I have to say that I can sympathize all too well with your situation. My husband and I are looking at Christmas this year with a 0 dollar budget. In his family the adults all say,” let’s just buy for the kids” then our gift opening rolls around and they’ve bought gifts for everyone. The first year this happened we were the ones who looked dumb because we only bought for the kids. The next year we wised up and purchased gifts for everyone and someone else in the family didn’t and felt dumb. I have been trying to think of what my husband and I can do this year…here are some questions we are asking ourselves in light of the fact that our budget is low and we want Jesus to be the reason for our season:
1.How can we glorify God best? especially with our limited “Christmas” finances?
2. What is best for our family? (meaning my husband, my daughter and I)
3. How can what we do be a witness to our unsaved family and an encouragement to our saved family?
Here are my thoughts…
1. What things can be done to make it more about Jesus?
For us:
-we don’t do Santa (which is one step away from comercialism)
-we get our daughter ONE gift from each of us (not 20)
-we read the Christmas story and sing Christian Christmas songs (even though our daughter is too young to understand we still wanted to start this tradition)
-our gift giving strategy for others is changing this year
(I like the idea of sending a letter to our family…maybe asking that if people still want to give us a gift to give money and we will donate it to a missionary or local ministry)
Now I know these things sound “uncomfortable”…but that’s part of our Christian witness is being different and it’s going to make others (and sometimes other Christians too) uncomfortable. Our point should never be to be legalistic or force other people to jump on our band wagon, but to be a light in the darkness. (Mark 4:21, Luke 11:33)
I hope you find these ideas and verses encouraging, and remember this Christmas: It’s not about what other people think about us…it’s about glorifying God and doing what’s best for your family. I pray for God’s wisdom for both our families!
I love the idea of not giving gifts, but as it gets closer to Christmas it becomes harder and harder to resist buying. This year, I will be baking cookies and goodies for each of our family members. I’ve been doing this for about 8 years with my husband’s family since they live all over. But this year, it will also be what my family receives. Plus, the joy of baking with my kids and letting them give to and serve others is a gift in itself!
I think that photographs make wonderful gifts and they are great if you are on a budget. In the past I have taken pictures of my family (cousins, kids, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc) throughout the year and I sometimes make a collage which you can do throught Walgreens or CVS, or I print them from home. Everyone loves these because they are pictures they haven’t seen before. You can even add scripture on the bottom of the photos if you use Walgreens/CVS or if you have a program on your own computer. You can frame them..or not it’s up to you, but a great place to get inexpensive frames is Ross/TJ Maxx/etc. I too have a very large familes and I am always looking for ways to cut costs, but also still make it personal and from the heart. I hope this helps.
The comments posted are chalk-full of great ideas!!
I for one, do not like to opt out of gift giving. I enjoy being able to give friends and family gifts, but it can be a struggle because I wonder if the homemade gift is appreciated or useful. I also do not enjoy picking names, although that definitely works for some families and there have been many different creative methods mentioned. I think the point is giving a gift, not getting, and when I pick a name, I still wish I was giving to everyone else as well, so that’s a little hard for me. We have opted to just buy gifts for everyone’s kids, but then that gets hairy, because some people have more kids than others, so do you spend the same amount on each family, and then what if no one has kids? I find that setting an amount for each family unit works, and then either get a family gift or a small gift for each person totalling that amount.
I find the frustration arises when you find that the funds just arent there to meet what you wish you could do for the people in your life that mean so much. A budget is a definite help – especially if you are able to put money aside each week for Christams. Even if it is $10 a week, you will have over $500 by Christmas!!
Shop clearance sales and especially clearance right after Christmas – January and February are great months to buy gifts!! I bought several nice gifts last January that I wouldnt have been able to afford right before Christmas if they had not been on clearance. (And I have a place in my budget for after- Christmas spending because I get so much more for my money!) Make a list of all the people you buy for and several good ideas and always be on the lookout for clearance and reduced prices that you can put away for Christmas. I also found some gifts at the end of the summer from seasonal clearance. (I have 2 large cabinets in the basement that store my “store”.) Just be careful to get a gift that the person will want and need (I have a friend whose sister is so cheap she gave her a mother a sweater because she found it on clearance and it was several sizes too big and she couldnt even wear it!!)
I find that you are either giving people your time or your money. If you dont have the money to do what you want, it will take a good deal of time and effort to either make something or find something you can afford. Just be encouraged that you are not alone – there are thousands of families with the same struggle. And take the opportunity to pray for the people in your life as you you search for their gift and either make it or wrap it. God wants our giving to be cheerful – even to others – sometimes it just takes some effort of make it so!!
We are tired of the commercialization of Christmas too, and started new traditions in our family, especially now since many of our elder family members have passed on and the old traditions can no longer be done.
Starting the weekend of Thanksgiving, we celebrate Christmas the whole month by doing special activities. First is putting up the tree. We don’t just try to hurry and put it up; we invite relatives over, turn on the Christmas music, have a fire going and have hot apple cider or hot chocolate as we all work on it together. The next weekend we may go to my parents house and put up their tree in the same manner, or we will all sit down and work on Christmas cards (either handmaking them or signing off on store-bought) always with the Christmas music playing. Other activities are Christmas Baking Day, caroling, reading the Nativity while we put out our Nativity Set, baking a birthday cake and and singing Happy Birthday to Jesus. The important thing here is to take your time, enjoy the activities, and invite your friends and family to join in. Gifts become secondary in their minds when you’ve put so much effort into celebrating the season.
When it comes to gifts, hand made ones are great! Or a small , thoughtful gift is better than just buying something (anything!) in a “suitable” price range.
Some of my favorite gifts I’ve received have been: a recipe “scrapbook” that had the family recipes in it. Each page had a relative’s well-known recipe and a picture of that person on it. I cried. My brother in-law, who is a Pastor, performed the baby dedication of my now 8 year old daugher, but never gave me a certficate or a copy of the services. Last year I received it. I cried. I cleaned out my home office and found a copy of a Special Edition TV Guide on the 35th Annversary of Star Trek in perfect condition. I gave it to my dad who is a major Trekkie. He was speechless, and couldn’t put it down.
I know you probably have relatives that just expect you to pay a lot a money on a nice gift (I have those too), but they’re just being selfish and missing the point of what Christmas is all about.
My hubby is the oldest of 9. We draw names for all the parents, siblings and spouses and the grand kids over age 5. They have a limit of $35 per person (most of us usually try to go less). We all buy for the kids under age 5 ($10 limit on these). Usually we buy stuff we need – socks, school supplies, a special item – nothing big. We also started the tradition a few years ago of giving any newly married couples in the family a christmas ornament. They end up with 9+ new ornaments – a good start for their first tree! I look all year and get creative with all this buying. Even though the family limits are $35 and $10, I try to stick with $10 and $5.
We also try to keep things Christ centered. We read the Christmas story – different versions on different days, sing carols, bake a birthday cake for Jesus, attend worship and all the programs (whether we have kids in them or not) at church, and gather often with friends for cocoa and cookies and even some caroling. All of these things cost next to nothing and keep us focused on God, friends and family through the season. We also try to keep our ethnic heritage alive by baking traditional goodies and participating in traditional events.
Hope your Christmas is a good one and less stressful this year! Lea
We pick an amount (usually$10 but you could do $5), and everyone spends that money on someone who needs it in the person they draw’s name. It could be donate to salvation army, but material with it and make baby blankets for the pregnancy crisis center babies, buy something for a kid who isn’t getting anything for Christmas. We actually did it as any time during the year you could do it! Like my mom went rummaging and got a lot of girls cloths cheap and sent them to my cousin whose name she had drawn, and didn’t tell until christmas they were from her.So, she got packages all year long. Or, give it to a kid who needed a little extra money to be able to go to church camp that year. buy a few extra food items for someone to have a great thanksgiving. The ideas are endless. But, you do it and then don’t tell what you did in the other persons name until christmas! Another idea is that we draw names at Christmas for the next year and do a rummage sale gift exchange! Where you set an amount and everything you get has to be from a rummage sale or clearance rack. You can get a lot of things at a rummage sale for $5 or $10! You could do an after Thanksgiving day sale and find your gifts then! There are a lot of bargains. Hope this helps a little!
Here’s what we do for both sides of our family:
1 – Adults draw “couple” names. We give a spending limit ($35-40 for the couple) and say that it can also be homemade OR a service. We LOVE the service ones like a weekend away w/out the kids (so the service would be babysitting!). Mom and Dad are included in the drawing on one side of the family.
2 – Kids draw kids name. Limit is $10-15
3 – In our immediate family, we also do the 3 gifts like the gifts given to Baby Jesus. 1 from Santa, 2 from mom and dad and their stocking. That’s it. We started this young, so they don’t know any different.
4 – I usually bake for friends and neighbors and put together a plate of goodies, or make almond roca, etc.
Several years ago we made the decision to not do extended family gifts anymore. We suggested to other family members that if they just had to spend on something, donate it to a family or a charity. This allows us more time to enjoy each other and to concentrate on the Savior. It also frees up time that we would have spent in stores buying gifts that no one really needed anyway. The only exception to this is if we have someone who is in serious need in our family (last year my sister’s husband did not have a job and they were unable to provide for their children’s basic needs so we sent them some money to help with food and clothes). It also teaches our children that we should truly give to the needy, not just give because it is socially acceptable.
Several years ago we made the decision to not do extended family gifts anymore. We suggested to other family members that if they just had to spend on something, donate it to a family or a charity. This allows us more time to enjoy each other and to concentrate on the Savior. It also frees up time that we would have spent in stores buying gifts that no one really needed anyway. The only exception to this is if we have someone who is in serious need in our family (last year my sister’s husband did not have a job and they were unable to provide for their children’s basic needs so we sent them some money to help with food and clothes). It also teaches our children that we should truly give to the needy, not just give because it is socially acceptable.
One thing that I do (although it’s really too late) is start shopping early. I bought several of this year’s Christmas presents at last year’s after Christmas sales (you know, the Dirty Santa presents where people draw numbers and pass them around?) I also use cokerewards points or credit card rewards to buy gift cards (husband’s boss) and I try to keep my eyes out for good deals all year long.
I haven’t seen this book mentioned yet. I recommend _Unplug the Christmas Machine_ by Jo Robinson & Jean Coppock Staeheli. You can find it at: http://www.simpleliving.net/main/item.asp?itemid=1014 and also at Amazon.com.
Here’s part of the blurb that Simple Living has on the book:
…answer the questions they have heard most often in their many years of talking with people about Christmas, such as: How can I reduce the stress of preparing for Christmas? How can I make our celebration more spiritual and less materialistic? How can I get my husband to be more enthusiastic about Christmas. How can I get my wife to relax and enjoy the celebration? and How can I help my children see that Christmas is more than just presents?
This year has been really tough for our family too and since I’m a new stay at home mom we have way less money than what we had last year so this year my whole family and my mother and sister’s family have decided to draw names for gift exchange. This means we are not going to be buying one individual gift to everyone and it will save us a lot more money. And to make our Christmas special and more meaningful the kids usually do a little Christmas play in our living room about the birth of Jesus and we read a few chapters from the Bible.
My husband’s family is varied some are wealthy and some are not. We are the only ones with children so we gave the different family members laminated cards that stated that they were entitled to 1 meal per week at the Hathcock Family Table. This way we get to spend some quality time together and those who are not well off get to save some money by having a free meal.
I have read through most of the comments, but what my family has done over the last few years hasn’t been recommended. We have a get-together for visiting and eating (it *is* what we Southerners do best!). During the visiting and eating time, you anonomously put cash in a basket that has been marked…we finish eating and gather, count the money…We then go around the room and tell what charity we would give the money to if our name is pulled out of the “hat”….there have been suggestions in the past like: Food Bank, Over Seas Missions, Children’s Hospital, Humane Shelter…and more…
The first year we did this, we “fixed” it so my Grandfather would get to choose, but last year I WON!!! We had collected right around $750 that went to Children’s Harbor, a safeplace and camp for sick children.
It has been a blessing to give instead of receive!
For the last couple years, we have given homemade gifts at Christmas–they are more special to those receiving them as well. I enjoyed making little baskets of homemade jellies, pickles, etc. that I had canned over the summer. Our children also make homemade gifts for their cousins. If your family starts the tradition, it may take awhile, but others will catch on. I also like to give a family gift, not individual ones as we have large families on both sides. A fun idea is a movie night basket–put in a good family movie, microwave pop-corn, a 6 pack of little coke bottles, and maybe some movie candy–it’s fun and I’ve done if for about $10.00 per family if I get a good deal on the movies.
Be creative–go to the library-there are endless possibilities for sharing things made with our your hands:)
R. Devine
I feel like everyone has already said so much. But in my family the “adults” drew names, because it got so expensive. And set a $50 limit, or something. But could give gifts to kids. This year, we are using rewards points from our credit card to get gift cards for people (just got married this year, so it’s our first Christmas). We also made our own vanilla and found cheap bottles online. I plan to package them up with a recipe of the vanilla, and maybe for cookies or something. It’s relatively cheap, and simple. When we were kids, my mom had us make towels, ornaments, etc. Ornaments can be found for pretty cheap, and you can just swirl glue around inside for a cute effect, perfect if you have kids. We also used to do the cookie giving thing too!
There is also the idea of buying someone a “goat” for Christmas. Where you donate to world vision to buy a goat for a family, in honor of another family member. Lots of options with that.
Last year was a tough year for our family. Between the immediate family we could only give hand-made gifts that didn’t cost anything. You had to think creatively and use my craft stash in the basement.
I actually had more fun with the kids “sneaking” around to make their crafts, then going to the store to buy something. It was a good bonding between myself and each of the three kids. I personally made each child warm PJ’s and a new quilt for their beds. They made football notebooks out of composition notebooks and scrapbook paper, safty pin braclets, handmade necklaces, crayon tin bucket, and picture frames of family vacations.
My 9 year old son was asking if we can make our gifts again this year!
By the way “Santa” still brought a few fun toys that I found throughout the year at good prices.
My husband has a large family, so this year we’re making it all about the kids. Instead of buying gifts for all the adults, the adults are going to draw a childs name and buy a gift for them only. We set a $25 limit for each child. The older children can get involved by helping select the gift for one of their cousins. We’ll see how it goes this year. I’m definitely looking forward to it since all the adults seem to have everything already.
I’ve been frustrated about what to buy for the last few years, then it dawned on me. It’s about giving from the heart. How much time I spend in line or how much into debt I go says nothing about how much I love my family. Last year for the first time, I created gift bags filled with home made gifts. From hand stamped stationary that was one of a kind to homemade jams and fudge every item was hand made and unique. WE were able to prepare for Christmas and not go into debt, everyone loved the gifts. The only people we bought for were our parents, nieces and nephews. The parents got gift cards that we purchased slowly throughout the holiday season. The kids just got something small to open and everyone had something good to eat.
We draw names in my family, and then have a spending limit for that person. All the kids go together and get a gift for the parents. Other than that, we do handmade gifts and home-made food. I really feel that most adults don’t want or need more “stuff” and that Christmas is about spending time focusing on family, friends and faith. When we’ve had to travel for Christmas, we don’t buy presents because we spent our money getting there. In the times in our lives when my husband and I have had exra income, we’ve loved being able to buy and extra-special gift at any time of the year and never cared about getting something in return.
We give pictures of our children.
One idea is to bless others instead of giving gifts. Most of us don’t need anything else. So find a local rescue mission where you can volunteer to serve a meal, pack shoe boxes for Operation Christmas Child will all your freebies and cheap deals you get http://www.samaritanspurse.org/
make a donation to http://www.worldvision.com and bless children with essentials
make a donation to an orphnage in Africa so that children can have essentials http://www.africaourownhome.org/index.html
or buy a few simple beautiful pictures and frame them http://www.photoreflect.com/pr3/thumbpage.aspx?e=3882552 Pictures take up less space!
We are planning on starting a tradition as soon as our kids are old enough where we commemorate the gifts of the wise men on Epiphany. We’ll be having our kids pick out something to “give to Jesus” for His birthday the same way that the wise men gave Him gifts. This will go to a suitable charity (such as the Jeremiah house in our area, a house for low-income and homeless mothers).
I have ten kids of my own and I also have 9 siblings in my family. We have no money for b-day or Xmas presents. We simpily tell the kids we are giving any presents this year but we’ll play games and have have a party. It’s hardest on the little guys because they don’t understand but I get hand-me- down toys that I save for such occasions.
I know this doesn’t slove your problem for people who you really feel like you want to or should give presents to. I just try to be creative with those guys. I save gifts when I feel I can get away with in order to regift! OUCH! I can’t believe I just admitted to that but it helps me save face and it’s usually something I’d love to keep so I feel like it’s a sacrifice of love. Am I awful for doing that?
I also make these Xmas balls out of photos. Family members really love it. You cut out circles and use a pentagon shape to score the photos and glue all the edges. It Takes 12 circles. And then I glue glitter on the edges where they didn’t meet all the way.
We agreed on my husband’s side of the family to forgo Christmas gifts last year and this year. The reasoning was that we wanted to spend time together and that feeling like we “had to” give gifts was actually hurting finances of at least some of us. His parents, who love to give gifts, find other times during the year to give and we’ve all made it a point to spend our money on travel to see one another and to call more often instead of buying Christmas gifts. This won’t work for everyone, but it’s been great for us.
My 9-year-old has a large extended family and each year she makes a homemade gift. Last year we went to Goodwill/Salvation Army and picked out different shaped vases, jars, and bowls from the millions of glass pieces they have there for $0.99-$1. Then we bought a bottle of Mod-podge at Michaels and a package of colored tissue paper at the dollar store. She had so much fun tearing up the tissue paper into small pieces and using the hodge-podge to glue it onto the glass pieces. it dries into a stained-glass look (a good idea to add a final coat yourself when the kids are done) and each piece was unique. the family loved it and it cost next to nothing.
I found the idea at an art teachers’ website here:
http://www.princetonol.com/groups/iad/lessons/elem/elem40.html
My 9-year-old has a large extended family and each year she makes a homemade gift. Last year we went to Goodwill/Salvation Army and picked out different shaped vases, jars, and bowls from the millions of glass pieces they have there for $0.99-$1. Then we bought a bottle of Mod-podge at Michaels and a package of colored tissue paper at the dollar store. She had so much fun tearing up the tissue paper into small pieces and using the hodge-podge to glue it onto the glass pieces. it dries into a stained-glass look (a good idea to add a final coat yourself when the kids are done) and each piece was unique. the family loved it and it cost next to nothing.
I found the idea at an art teachers’ website here:
http://www.princetonol.com/groups/iad/lessons/elem/elem40.html
Here’s an idea requiring some planning ahead throughout the year, but it’s one that I hope to implement in the future. I plan to collect all the freebies I can get and either sell them on e-bay or at yardsales. All profits will be put into a gift giving fund. That fund will be the budget I set for myself year-round for our family’s giving.
My husband and I are blessed with two large extended families who generally understand tight budgets. We usually have Polyannas (choosing one family member’s name out of a hat to give too) or we give gifts to the elementary children only. The rest of us give as we please to our churches. We also may give cookies, fudge, or homemade gifts to each other if we wish, but there is no pressure or expectation for that.
As our children grow (they are too small to understand at this point) we hope to have a birthday gift for Jesus fund that our children participate in by giving portions of the money they earn from doing chores around the house and yard or neighborhood. We are still working out the details of the plan here, but here are some of the ideas. We have considered having a gift box with a slit in the top where the kids put change they collect throughout the season. Also, I have thought we could raise money as a family for the box through different bake sales and yardsales. The box would be opened and the money counted on Christmas morning and the children will have the oportunity of writing letters to the pre-arranged recipients of the gift at that time. Then the money will be sent to a missionary or special fund for those in need. The children will also be encouraged to choose one of the best gifts they receive for Christmas to share with another child who does not have the same privileges as ours might.
We also have an extended family with different incomes and lifestyles represented. What we decided to do, as a group, is not give gifts to each other. Instead we pick a charity each year, and each family donates what they feel comfortable with to the charity. Some years not all family members have been able to give, and that is ok too. When we gather together as a family we do a pot luck dinner and just spend time together. Hopefully everyone in your family will agree to something similar and remember what the true meaning of the holiday is.
My mom’s side of the family had all agreed to just get together for dinner and games, without the gifts. It wouldn’t hurt to approach your family about that.
I read this cool idea in a newspaper: A charity auction of homemade goods. Each person or each family makes an item. It can be from very simple (a child’s drawing) to elaborate (a quilt) or even a food item. Each item is auctioned off. The winning bidder keeps the item. All the money raised goes to a charity. Or maybe each family could choose a charity and split the money by the no. of families attending.
Thank you to everyone! Thanks to Crystal for posting my question and thanks to every one of you who commented. I really feel blessed, inspired, and even a bit optimistic about this year’s Christmas celebration. It’s like having a hundred or so really smart sisters, so thank you, you’ve been such a blessing to me!
Hello!
I love all the grate ideas shared. We are pretty big believers about keeping Christmas simple.
So many people feel pressured to buy more and more to build a bigger and better Christmas Experience. It is so sad; I wonder if we would all enjoy the holidays more if we were not so concerned with turning them into a big production.
I recently wrote about a simpler Christmas here:
http://farmhomelife.blogspot.com/2008/10/getting-ready-for-christmas.html
Take Care,
Trixie
Hi! I’m here via Virginia’s blog (blackflipflops). I posted a piece last December that was given to me a while ago. It helped me to refocus my gift giving with regard to my kids and helped the budget, too. I just thought maybe you and your readers could benefit from it. Here’s the URL to copy and paste. Have a great day!
http://jsvh.blogspot.com/2007/12/children-receive-5-gifts.html
I’ve had this problem before. We’ve done the drawing names thing and that works well. However, now that we live out of state and away from all of our family, gift giving inexpensively has gotten tougher. I love handmade gifts, but doing the “cookie in a jar” or things like that aren’t practical when you factor in the shipping (which can cost more than the gift!)
So I’ve turned to more handmade items, like a calendar with my kids’ pictures on it. Snapfish usually has good deals on that. Or handmade items from the kids. That way, the kids are making the gifts and they’re more personal.
When it comes to my own kids, I try and buy things throughout the year or when I find good deals. Also, my kids do not ask for a ton of presents. They are told to ask for just a couple things they might really want and they are just fine with that. Now, that doesn’t mean that they’re only getting 2 or 3 gifts but they have also been taught from a very young age the value of money, that this season is not about presents and spending money, it is about Jesus. So they don’t ask for those pricey toys. And they don’t *expect* a lot.
How can I contact the second commenter Kathy F? Thanks!
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